One of these nights I'm gonna write something absolutely amazing and powerful and I'm really looking forward to it.
So far, I haven't figured out what that is, exactly... but I'm okay with that. I'll keep on writing until I do.
I'd love to write more, and really, I DO write more than I post on this blog because I prefer not to just throw everything I think onto a blog like a diary for everyone in the universe to read. I work a lot, and I love what I do 99.44% of the time but I would love to have more time to write. I spend too much time trying to make money. Well, I might as well while I'm able and my kids aren't little anymore so that I can retire before I die. I tell people I write every chance I get but it's really not true. If it were true, I'd have a lot more material to read. I have many, many stories in my head that I really should put into writing, because I know I'm not going to live forever (at least not in this realm, and I'm not sure how much of my brain will make it through the life I'm living now) and I don't want the stories and characters to die with me. After I'm gone my kids can pass this stuff on to other people, or just give them away, but hopefully, I'll get some of them out into the world and let the universe decide whether they're worth keeping.
There were also people who once walked this earth and not just through my brain whose stories shouldn't be forgotten either. Those who passed after about 2005 will have more information about them on the Internet for future generations than those who passed before that, and there are stories in the old newspapers and databases for those who wish to look for those folks. Still there are people who lived quiet and simple lives, whose stories weren't compelling Nicholas Sparks novel fodder (or even Lifetime movie fodder), who've left serious marks on the manuscript of my own life. My grandmother was one... one of her father's seventeen children as well as one of her mother's eleven. Her oldest sister Lorene was evidently unable to bear children of her own, but I never, ever heard her complain about that, or talk about it at all. I never asked her why she didn't have children, maybe because I was afraid to bring it up. Her husband had lost two children in the Christmas Eve crash that claimed his first wife and left him with only his son. Maybe she figured it might've been better to have had no children at all. His son gave her four step-grandchildren that she dearly loved in her own quiet way. She wasn't the kind of grandmother who took the kids to Opryland (actually they didn't have that on either side, but all their grandparents cared for them very much) but she baked them goodies and visited them and kept an eye on them and probably went to graduations and things like that, I don't remember. She also kept a lot of other relatives, like me.
She, like Granny, had a portrait of a handsome young man I never had the privilege to know, my uncle Olie. His death at age 18 was one of those events you see in movies, where a local teenager gets really sick (or has an accident or gets shot or... you get the picture) and dies young and the whole town shuts down for the funeral. But before I knew all that about the town's reaction, I knew that my grandmother and all her family lost a dear brother, son, grandson, and uncle. I guess because he didn't live long enough to have children and grandchildren of his own, I felt sort of obligated to keep his memory alive. I think others in my family might've felt that way too. For example, my uncle Lanny put a new headstone on Olie's grave. Lanny was just a little fella when Olie died; I think he was about 3.
These are just a few of the stories I'd like to share, as well as some of the fictional characters I've created over the years. Some of my characters are loosely based on real people and real events, but in general most are purely made up. Here's an example of that: I used to wonder what it would've been like if Lorene and her first husband had adopted a child, or had a baby late in life. Everette was only in his early 40s when he died, so he would've died very early in this baby's life. I came up with a lot of good stories and characters from that "what if" story. Many of my stories are "what ifs" or at least they start out that way. I do a lot of research into the past to find details and ideas. Like looking at Olie's death certificate and obituary.
I need to be looking at the inside of my eyelids. Gotta go make that money while it's there.
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
Friday, March 31, 2017
When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it's a wonder I can think at all.
Watching Soundbreaking, one of my favorite PBS shows... tonight it's about the early days of music video... when I was in high school. It was a great time to be alive!!! :D I was into videos for sure. My dad hated MTV and called it "Hell Music." Did that stop me from watching it, oh, hell, no! I loved it. It was a great turning point in music history. Video may have killed the radio star, but it sure opened up a lot of doors for a lot of people.
Today I took the MRI ARRT registry exam and... well, I think it went all right, but I'll know for sure in a week or two. After all the studying, it's a wonder I can think at all. But now, at least until I know how I did, I can start focusing on the next challenge... which will be writing and web development. I do have to do my taxes (yuck) and work on bill-paying (double yuck). I have plenty of work to keep me busy this upcoming week, and lots coming up in the next few months, which is a good problem to have.
Today I took the MRI ARRT registry exam and... well, I think it went all right, but I'll know for sure in a week or two. After all the studying, it's a wonder I can think at all. But now, at least until I know how I did, I can start focusing on the next challenge... which will be writing and web development. I do have to do my taxes (yuck) and work on bill-paying (double yuck). I have plenty of work to keep me busy this upcoming week, and lots coming up in the next few months, which is a good problem to have.
Monday, March 20, 2017
Loving a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be...
Well, you can say that again. I'm still waiting for my tour bus and swimming pool. Hahaha! I can't really complain, though. He's a good husband and he's bringing home dinner!!! Also, our band is playing this weekend... but more about that later.
So I have a lot of big plans for my writing and webpages. I know, I say that about once a year, but maybe God is trying to tell me something.
For one thing, I'm not getting a lot of work hours right now, and this was supposed to be one of my busy times. In February, I had 21.5 weekdays scheduled to work in March. By March 1, two days had already been canceled. On March 3, a tech called about her upcoming some surgery, which will put her out 8 weeks. She works 4 days a week. Of course, I have some days I'm scheduled to go other places. I can only be one place at a time, but the lead tech knows this, and I'm sure they'll work out the details when it gets a little closer.
On March 6, I learned that I wouldn't be needed on the 7th as well as the 12th through the 15th. They also cancelled 4 more weeks scattered through the rest of the year at that location. On the 7th, I learned they could not use me on the 8th. I called the CPR office and was able to pick up a few days there. That day, the surgery date was set for the above-mentioned tech, so I was able to make some plans, which included two days of teaching CPR, including the 13th and 14th. Naturally, as soon as I did that, a coworker asked if I could work on the 14th, so I canceled that day too. A few hours later, the lead tech asked if I could work on the 13th. I told her that I had just canceled 3 CPR days and I need CPR to keep the wolf from the door during the slow times, but I'd work in the morning if she needed me to, and she took me up on that. So, I ended up working a half a day on the 13th, then rushing over to teach CPR. On my way home, I got a text message saying that they did not need me on the 14th after all. Unfortunately, they didn't need me to teach CPR by then either. Last night they called me in to work today, where I learned that I am no longer needed Wednesday through Friday. So I was planning to work 21.5 days and I'll end up with 13.5, unless something changes.
And so it goes.
Besides that, I've been inspired to do a lot more writing. A few months ago, I started subscribing to a website called newspapers.com. I'd heard of it before, when I was teaching, but I didn't subscribe because I didn't think I could get my money's worth out of it. In one of my "fact-finding missions" I do researching sometimes, I discovered an article on the site and it suddenly dawned on me... I could use it to help me with Hee Haw, country music history, Frank Sutton history, Ridgetop history, and the list goes on. We're playing this coming Saturday night, the 25th, in Dickson, TN, at the VFW. I don't know the time, I would guess 8:00 pm, but I will try to get that updated ASAP. I also want to get the Brewer's Chapel page updated. In the next few months we will be getting a new pastor. This is pretty standard procedure, Methodists switch out pastors every few years and our pastor's getting ready to retire. He has had some health issues in the past, but this past year has been particularly hard on him. I am not sure what to expect from our new pastor, but we have had this website for a long time that I haven't been updating, and I think if we want more younger people involved in the church, a strong web presence would be a good thing... and that includes getting control of the Brewer's Chapel Facebook page. A former pastor started it, which is cool, but since he's somewhere else, we need to get that. I don't mind updating it, either, as long as I don't have to tweet!
Those two things alone would be plenty of writing, but the Hee Haw page needs some serious updating too. One of those days off this week I will go to Springfield, to the library to do some research, and to take some pictures of the Royal Inn before it gets torn down. Now, it may be years before they tear the place down, but it could be tomorrow! There is a man named James Lileks, a writer and reporter in Minneapolis who has a website with motel postcards, etc. Really, he has a veritable treasure trove of modern American history. I need to send him a picture of the Royal Inn if I can get one before they tear it down, since he has one from there. Maybe I can send him a link to that pic on the FB "You Know You're From Springfield, TN if..." page, too. I'm sure Bill Jones would enjoy Lileks' webpage. It'd also be good if I can get it on my Royalty page too.
So I have a lot of exciting ideas for my webpages. Another idea I'm considering is oral history type stuff, or interviews with older folks. I think there are organizations like libraries that have organized programs for this, so I'll have to check into it. Another oral history idea I have is doing people's memories it Brewers Chapel in a online type thing, maybe on the web page.
But if you will, bear with me a couple of weeks because I'm scheduled to take the MRI registry exam on Friday, March 31. I will be doing a lot of studying for that in the next couple weeks. After that, I plan to be writing a lot. Of course, if I'm working in MRI a lot at that time, then I won't really have a lot of time to work on writing then either, but I'm pretty motivated right now. I've discovered that I can dictate while I'm driving. I can set up the phone and the iPad both to record my dictation, and I can also use the voice recognition to record on the other one so I can put them together when I get home. That's what I've done today. It's taken me some time, but I still have several hours before I have to go to bed, so I can study after dinner.
So I have a lot of big plans for my writing and webpages. I know, I say that about once a year, but maybe God is trying to tell me something.
For one thing, I'm not getting a lot of work hours right now, and this was supposed to be one of my busy times. In February, I had 21.5 weekdays scheduled to work in March. By March 1, two days had already been canceled. On March 3, a tech called about her upcoming some surgery, which will put her out 8 weeks. She works 4 days a week. Of course, I have some days I'm scheduled to go other places. I can only be one place at a time, but the lead tech knows this, and I'm sure they'll work out the details when it gets a little closer.
On March 6, I learned that I wouldn't be needed on the 7th as well as the 12th through the 15th. They also cancelled 4 more weeks scattered through the rest of the year at that location. On the 7th, I learned they could not use me on the 8th. I called the CPR office and was able to pick up a few days there. That day, the surgery date was set for the above-mentioned tech, so I was able to make some plans, which included two days of teaching CPR, including the 13th and 14th. Naturally, as soon as I did that, a coworker asked if I could work on the 14th, so I canceled that day too. A few hours later, the lead tech asked if I could work on the 13th. I told her that I had just canceled 3 CPR days and I need CPR to keep the wolf from the door during the slow times, but I'd work in the morning if she needed me to, and she took me up on that. So, I ended up working a half a day on the 13th, then rushing over to teach CPR. On my way home, I got a text message saying that they did not need me on the 14th after all. Unfortunately, they didn't need me to teach CPR by then either. Last night they called me in to work today, where I learned that I am no longer needed Wednesday through Friday. So I was planning to work 21.5 days and I'll end up with 13.5, unless something changes.
And so it goes.
Besides that, I've been inspired to do a lot more writing. A few months ago, I started subscribing to a website called newspapers.com. I'd heard of it before, when I was teaching, but I didn't subscribe because I didn't think I could get my money's worth out of it. In one of my "fact-finding missions" I do researching sometimes, I discovered an article on the site and it suddenly dawned on me... I could use it to help me with Hee Haw, country music history, Frank Sutton history, Ridgetop history, and the list goes on. We're playing this coming Saturday night, the 25th, in Dickson, TN, at the VFW. I don't know the time, I would guess 8:00 pm, but I will try to get that updated ASAP. I also want to get the Brewer's Chapel page updated. In the next few months we will be getting a new pastor. This is pretty standard procedure, Methodists switch out pastors every few years and our pastor's getting ready to retire. He has had some health issues in the past, but this past year has been particularly hard on him. I am not sure what to expect from our new pastor, but we have had this website for a long time that I haven't been updating, and I think if we want more younger people involved in the church, a strong web presence would be a good thing... and that includes getting control of the Brewer's Chapel Facebook page. A former pastor started it, which is cool, but since he's somewhere else, we need to get that. I don't mind updating it, either, as long as I don't have to tweet!
Those two things alone would be plenty of writing, but the Hee Haw page needs some serious updating too. One of those days off this week I will go to Springfield, to the library to do some research, and to take some pictures of the Royal Inn before it gets torn down. Now, it may be years before they tear the place down, but it could be tomorrow! There is a man named James Lileks, a writer and reporter in Minneapolis who has a website with motel postcards, etc. Really, he has a veritable treasure trove of modern American history. I need to send him a picture of the Royal Inn if I can get one before they tear it down, since he has one from there. Maybe I can send him a link to that pic on the FB "You Know You're From Springfield, TN if..." page, too. I'm sure Bill Jones would enjoy Lileks' webpage. It'd also be good if I can get it on my Royalty page too.
So I have a lot of exciting ideas for my webpages. Another idea I'm considering is oral history type stuff, or interviews with older folks. I think there are organizations like libraries that have organized programs for this, so I'll have to check into it. Another oral history idea I have is doing people's memories it Brewers Chapel in a online type thing, maybe on the web page.
But if you will, bear with me a couple of weeks because I'm scheduled to take the MRI registry exam on Friday, March 31. I will be doing a lot of studying for that in the next couple weeks. After that, I plan to be writing a lot. Of course, if I'm working in MRI a lot at that time, then I won't really have a lot of time to work on writing then either, but I'm pretty motivated right now. I've discovered that I can dictate while I'm driving. I can set up the phone and the iPad both to record my dictation, and I can also use the voice recognition to record on the other one so I can put them together when I get home. That's what I've done today. It's taken me some time, but I still have several hours before I have to go to bed, so I can study after dinner.
Friday, July 31, 2015
Money can't buy everything, it's true, what it don't get, I can't use.
That's not completely true... but I'm still thinking about it. Money is on my mind. I'm hiring. What? Seriously, I'm an Arbonne International Independent Consultant, and I'm looking for copycats who want to make money. LOL Is it fast money? It hasn't been in my case. But I'm in this for the long haul, and August is going to be a great month. I'm really looking forward to recruiting some new consultants. Arbonne is a great company. Yes, I drink the koolaid every day! LOL They don't sell Kool-Aid. What they do have is a product called Energy Fizz Sticks that come in pomegranate and citrus flavors. I'm a big fan of them! My website is marisabush.arbonne.com... more later...
Wednesday, June 03, 2015
The day Billy Joe McCalister jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge
It was the third of June!
See the video of "Ode to Billy Joe" here.
Anyway, it was quite a day. I had a venous Doppler ultrasound on my leg, which swells when it wants to and hurts most of the time. I forgot to take my morning meds so I suffered through the early afternoon, napped for a couple of hours with the cats all up in the bed with me, and then I woke up, packed the vehicle, and headed to my daughter's place so I can be closer to my jobs for a couple of days.
Lately I've been doing a lot of website work because in a few weeks the nuc tech work will dry up a little bit and I'll need more money. Heck, I need more money now!!! So, in the next few weeks I'm hoping you'll see a lot more activity on this blog and my others as well. Well, maybe not the teaching blogs, but some of the others anyway.
Stay tuned...
See the video of "Ode to Billy Joe" here.
Anyway, it was quite a day. I had a venous Doppler ultrasound on my leg, which swells when it wants to and hurts most of the time. I forgot to take my morning meds so I suffered through the early afternoon, napped for a couple of hours with the cats all up in the bed with me, and then I woke up, packed the vehicle, and headed to my daughter's place so I can be closer to my jobs for a couple of days.
Lately I've been doing a lot of website work because in a few weeks the nuc tech work will dry up a little bit and I'll need more money. Heck, I need more money now!!! So, in the next few weeks I'm hoping you'll see a lot more activity on this blog and my others as well. Well, maybe not the teaching blogs, but some of the others anyway.
Stay tuned...
Monday, April 01, 2013
Time, don't run out on me.
Time is flying. It's already April. What a year it has been... not all bad, certainly not all good.
I'm watching "Mask" which is bad because it means I won't ever do anything else the rest of the night... not that I was planning to do anything anyway. I was planning to go to bed at a halfway decent hour. I napped from 4:30 to about 5:30. I looked at Facebook and I did Derek's taxes. I worked on my APSU registration. That's about it. Sad, huh? The night just flew. I just wanted to document that I did something - albeit very small - with it.
I'm watching "Mask" which is bad because it means I won't ever do anything else the rest of the night... not that I was planning to do anything anyway. I was planning to go to bed at a halfway decent hour. I napped from 4:30 to about 5:30. I looked at Facebook and I did Derek's taxes. I worked on my APSU registration. That's about it. Sad, huh? The night just flew. I just wanted to document that I did something - albeit very small - with it.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Accentuate the positive!
I believe I've had an entry by that name before, but today it seems good. I am on fall break. Yay!!! Poor D, he has had to go to school. The rock star will be off the next two days. On Friday he's got a gig. I guess our traveling won't be happening this time. Oh, well. Christmas will be here soon and maybe we can do some driving then.
We're going to choir practice in a few minutes so I can't write long. I just had the urge to share my feelings. I want to be happier being a teacher. A few days ago Randy and I discussed this and he gave me his opinion that I lack self-confidence... which I totally agree with. He followed that up by saying that I hate myself, with which I totally disagree.
So today I typed in "Positive thinking Bible verses" and I saw a site with several verses. I really liked it and I surfed around it a lot. Here's the one I really honed in on.
I love it! It reminded me why I've been searching for a nuclear medicine part-time job, or possibly full-time job - because I'd like to make more money. I almost forgot I'll be needing a little less after this school year, Lord willing; I'll have both vehicles paid for and I sure hope I don't need another one that requires a payment any time soon.
I'm happy with my husband 90% of the time (which is probably better than average), and with my body 75% of the time (which is probably WAY better than average, and most people would not be happy with mine! Oh, well). So can I be happy with my job? My house? I'm working on it. I'm getting there.
We're going to choir practice in a few minutes so I can't write long. I just had the urge to share my feelings. I want to be happier being a teacher. A few days ago Randy and I discussed this and he gave me his opinion that I lack self-confidence... which I totally agree with. He followed that up by saying that I hate myself, with which I totally disagree.
So today I typed in "Positive thinking Bible verses" and I saw a site with several verses. I really liked it and I surfed around it a lot. Here's the one I really honed in on.
Hebrews 13:5 ESV
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”I love it! It reminded me why I've been searching for a nuclear medicine part-time job, or possibly full-time job - because I'd like to make more money. I almost forgot I'll be needing a little less after this school year, Lord willing; I'll have both vehicles paid for and I sure hope I don't need another one that requires a payment any time soon.
I'm happy with my husband 90% of the time (which is probably better than average), and with my body 75% of the time (which is probably WAY better than average, and most people would not be happy with mine! Oh, well). So can I be happy with my job? My house? I'm working on it. I'm getting there.
Monday, May 21, 2012
S.I. Wk. 0 Day 3: They call me Dr. Love
No! They really don't.
I'm not a doctor or a nurse but I've had 26 years of healthcare experience. Now I get questions... "What is this rash on my arm?" "Do you have any bandaids?" "I've got something stuck in my foot. Do you have any tweezers?" or... "There's a girl passed out in the bathroom floor!" I don't mind that, really. I am just as happy to be the computer MD. I get questions there too, and half of them aren't the kind I can answer. I mean, I know a lot about computers but I don't have the answers to everything.
I do miss health care. All the while I was in nuclear medicine, I was looking for more... more money when I was working part-time, and when I was working full-time, I was looking for more to do with my life. I knew I wasn't going to set the world on fire doing nucs, but I thought maybe I could catch a wave of some new treatment or discovery... even if it was an old remedy like discovering a new use for ginseng or something like that. Then I got this job that really changed my life, first in a good way and then in a bad way, and now... well, you decide. I went to work at Vanderbilt and thought that would make my life complete. I loved it, and then I got laid off, and it's been a wild ride ever since.
So I spent time today looking for a part-time medical job. I could be a CNA but with my feet the way they are, I don't think that would work, and I went into excruciating detail about nuc jobs last night. Looks like I'll be spending my summer planning to be a better teacher, and there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe I can make some extra money doing transcription. I wonder if I could do any writing...
Today was the first day of exams. I have a few who need to make up their exams and one who didn't come to school today. I didn't have any foot trouble during the day but this afternoon and evening have been a different story. I need some pain relief NOW. I didn't improve anything here at home... but I've done a lot of thinking and maybe that is a step in the right direction.
I'm not a doctor or a nurse but I've had 26 years of healthcare experience. Now I get questions... "What is this rash on my arm?" "Do you have any bandaids?" "I've got something stuck in my foot. Do you have any tweezers?" or... "There's a girl passed out in the bathroom floor!" I don't mind that, really. I am just as happy to be the computer MD. I get questions there too, and half of them aren't the kind I can answer. I mean, I know a lot about computers but I don't have the answers to everything.
I do miss health care. All the while I was in nuclear medicine, I was looking for more... more money when I was working part-time, and when I was working full-time, I was looking for more to do with my life. I knew I wasn't going to set the world on fire doing nucs, but I thought maybe I could catch a wave of some new treatment or discovery... even if it was an old remedy like discovering a new use for ginseng or something like that. Then I got this job that really changed my life, first in a good way and then in a bad way, and now... well, you decide. I went to work at Vanderbilt and thought that would make my life complete. I loved it, and then I got laid off, and it's been a wild ride ever since.
So I spent time today looking for a part-time medical job. I could be a CNA but with my feet the way they are, I don't think that would work, and I went into excruciating detail about nuc jobs last night. Looks like I'll be spending my summer planning to be a better teacher, and there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe I can make some extra money doing transcription. I wonder if I could do any writing...
Today was the first day of exams. I have a few who need to make up their exams and one who didn't come to school today. I didn't have any foot trouble during the day but this afternoon and evening have been a different story. I need some pain relief NOW. I didn't improve anything here at home... but I've done a lot of thinking and maybe that is a step in the right direction.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Paperback writer...
Not really... while I am constantly coming up with ideas for story writing, I don't know who would want to read that. I'm not sure if anybody reads this!!!
Lots going on right now. I'm working on my research paper. It's due tomorrow. I've done the research. I'm just putting it together and trying to find some sources to back up my opinions. My research is about technology in the classroom. Of course! So right now I'm taking a blogging break. I'm listening to 70's music which seems to foster my creativity for some reason. I think it puts me back into my childhood where my imagination is nice and functional. Maybe that makes me weird. Maybe I'm weird anyway.
Besides that, this weekend I have to get all my stuff planned for my students for Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday because I'll be at the HOSA State Conference those days. I have to clean out the car so I can put my competitors in it, as well as my stuff for three days. While I'm there I plan to finish updating the student database for the grading program, although I have discovered that this job isn't going to be finished as long as I'm working on it (and probably, working there as well). Every time a teacher joins the school's site (and there are still quite a few to go) I'll have to update students. It's inevitable. It's okay, though. I just work on it when I can.
I also need to catch up on grading this weekend, and go by the school Sunday and pick up journals to grade too. The amusement never ends.
I'm okay with it though. I have enough to do outside the house tomorrow to make it okay to stay home and write today. I'm working on something that I have a passion for - computers and technology education - and that makes it easier. I have decided that I'm going to get my doctorate in instructional technology. Not sure what school yet - I've got to decide, but I have a year or two to do that. This summer Derek's having surgery and I'm taking a break from my studies. If I do any extra work, it'll be transcription. In the fall I'll either take one or two courses, and if I take two I'll be able to take two in the spring to graduate. If it takes me longer, so be it.
God is good to me... He gave me awesome kids and an amazing husband and the rest of my family's pretty great too. I have more than I know what to do with... life is good. Rachel's doing a formal this weekend and one next weekend. D's going to the prom next weekend. He made a 29 on his ACT! This was his 1st try! Rachel did too, on her 2nd try. Both of them are very smart! I've got a great church family but a lot going on there too... can't go into that on the blog but suffice it to say I have things I don't want to take care of there. I'll be glad when I'm no longer the chair of the PPR committee.
Well, that's what's happening... for what it's worth.
Thursday, March 08, 2012
live like... you were dying???
The day Derek was born, I called our church (at the time). It was, after all, Wednesday evening and everyone would want to know. The young lady who answered the phone was a high school senior and the daughter of a couple who had made us feel so at home in our short time there. Now Derek is 17, and today that young lady's youngest son died at the age of 10, after fighting a brain tumor for over a year. I had hoped I would catch her to give her a cap Randy got. I'm sorry that I didn't get that cap to her and Andrew.
Shortly after I heard that, I read a blog post by a woman who has lost 200 pounds. It was called "45 Simple Actions to Start Losing Weight." One of the actions: "Deal with Stress." I'm not sure how to do that. I guess I need to figure that out. This woman wrote about the stress she had from her job. I know that feeling. Some days I hate it. This week, I'm trying to get everything done so I won't have to do it during Spring Break, next week. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to get everything in. I planned to go visit Billie and Andrew last weekend. I kept over-extending myself. I stayed too long at Mom's, then at Dad's, on Saturday. Not that I regret that, I don't regret visiting my parents at all... but then I was going to eat at a fundraiser with Randy. I then had to finish a transcription assignment that I didn't complete Friday evening, because I got a late start.
Shortly after I heard that, I read a blog post by a woman who has lost 200 pounds. It was called "45 Simple Actions to Start Losing Weight." One of the actions: "Deal with Stress." I'm not sure how to do that. I guess I need to figure that out. This woman wrote about the stress she had from her job. I know that feeling. Some days I hate it. This week, I'm trying to get everything done so I won't have to do it during Spring Break, next week. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to get everything in. I planned to go visit Billie and Andrew last weekend. I kept over-extending myself. I stayed too long at Mom's, then at Dad's, on Saturday. Not that I regret that, I don't regret visiting my parents at all... but then I was going to eat at a fundraiser with Randy. I then had to finish a transcription assignment that I didn't complete Friday evening, because I got a late start.
Then I had classwork to do before midnight Sunday night. Though I fooled around a little and napped on Sunday afternoon after lunch, I managed to get that done at a reasonable time. Then I didn't leave myself enough time to grade my students' work because when I got through with my classwork I played online Boggle for too long. I gave up Spider Solitaire for Lent and then turned around and started playing Boggle. I am not all that great at it, and last night I decided to give it up too.
Yesterday, a couple of students and I talked about that song, "Live Like You Were Dying." They didn't really get it. I said, you know, we shouldn't live our lives waiting for something to happen later. Live like you're dying doesn't mean lie in the bed waiting for the angels to escort you home. It means live now, instead of putting things off until later. I don't know if I adequately conveyed my feelings. But in the last two weeks, when so many people have died, it means so much more.
I started teaching in August of 2009 and in the whirlwind of never-ending work and the heat of that first classroom, I lost 13 pounds in 3 months. Since then I have put on almost 30 pounds. Oh, it varies from day to day. This morning it was actually 24.5 pounds. And in November 2008, I think I even weighed less than that Nov. 2009 weight. I hate that I've gained so much weight. I don't hate myself and I don't even hate my body, but I need to get in better shape because I want to be healthier. I know a great deal of my problem is stress. I come home, eat, and have to do more work before bed. Some nights (like tonight) I put off working until it's too late. I really don't waste a ton of time on Facebook, but I spend a lot of time looking for that elusive nuclear medicine job, or some other job that promises more money and more time to relax outside of work. Next thing I know, it's 10:30, I haven't read or relaxed, I'm depressed from not finding that "perfect" job, I've still got a sack full of ungraded work and piles of housework to do, and I need to get to bed.
I don't always work as efficiently as I should. Some days I write in my blog and spend 30 minutes on Facebook. I did a lot today and I could do a lot more. I could probably stay up all night. I stayed until 7:00 doing work and grading journals. I have two more classes of journals, posters to grade, and exams to grade. I'm going to bed. I need to start living again.
But I didn't want to turn this into a story about me. I wanted to say, we all need to live like we're dying. We need to live. We need to love. We may need to work too, but we can't keep putting off our lives, because the future isn't promised. Today is a gift and we need to be grateful for it.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
You make me feel brand new...
My brand new computer, that is... it's really nice.
Another semester has begun and I'm already tired, and wondering if I'll survive, but it's actually been OK so far. I bring home work to grade every day and I don't get it done. I still look for the elusive money-making job, but I've decided (after spending a bunch of money) that I'm not going to try nursing school or even being a CNA. It's not for me. My neuropathy is acting up so much. Between controlling my blood sugar and using a TENS unit, I'm doing a lot better, though. The TENS unit really works!
I'm not staying up to grade tonight, either. I had good intentions, but between trying to get my new computer and my old one to communicate (not an easy feat, considering that the old one's screen isn't working anymore and had to be hooked up, flipped around, rebooted and re-battery'ed, for lack of a better word) and re-ordering a book for an online class, I have shot the evening. BUT...I got the files transferred.
Another semester has begun and I'm already tired, and wondering if I'll survive, but it's actually been OK so far. I bring home work to grade every day and I don't get it done. I still look for the elusive money-making job, but I've decided (after spending a bunch of money) that I'm not going to try nursing school or even being a CNA. It's not for me. My neuropathy is acting up so much. Between controlling my blood sugar and using a TENS unit, I'm doing a lot better, though. The TENS unit really works!
I'm not staying up to grade tonight, either. I had good intentions, but between trying to get my new computer and my old one to communicate (not an easy feat, considering that the old one's screen isn't working anymore and had to be hooked up, flipped around, rebooted and re-battery'ed, for lack of a better word) and re-ordering a book for an online class, I have shot the evening. BUT...I got the files transferred.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
How could I be without your love
I really wasn't writing with the intention of waxing poetic about my husband. I couldn't think of a "how to" song that I wanted to post. I like this one, though. It's pretty.
I have spent my evening searching "How To" articles online for help with a class assignment. The hardest part so far has been figuring out what I want to learn. I’m not saying I know how to do everything, because I don’t (as you’ll learn by reading this), but sometimes I feel like I know how to do too many things. I have craft supplies I don’t have time to use, holiday decorations I don’t have time to put out, and websites I don’t have time to maintain. I don’t always have time to go to the grocery store, much less cook. The things I’d like to learn how to do are too complex to learn in a Web tutorial. There are the intangibles, like “How to get a job in a stagnant field from which you were laid off,” or“How to find time to keep your house looking immaculate clean decent while you work full-time, take two graduate courses, raise a teenager, have three indoor pets, support a college student, stay married, and go to church.” Then, there’s the way too involved for the Web stuff, like “How to become a massage therapist,” or “How to make some extra money (for supporting that college student).” I’d like to solve problems. How about, “How to cure cancer,” or “How to stop domestic violence”?
If you’ve read this far, you’re probably thinking I need to find “How to Get a Positive Attitude!”
Seriously…maybe there’s a story there.
I went to Google. I typed in “how to” and then started with a, went to b, c, d, etc. all the way through the alphabet. Did you know you can learn to roll a joint on the Internet? I don’t need to know how to do that. After going through the alphabet I thought I’d start over and type ab, ac, ad, and so forth. You can learn how to abort a baby on the Internet. I would say, “Well, I never!” but unfortunately, I am NOT surprised at that. I didn’t know how valuable some of my knowledge was…such as “How to elope” (been there, done that), “how to flirt” (how do you think I learned how to elope?), “how to give a hickey” (not going there) and “how to do an EKG” (well, I did know that was valuable). Still, I kept going.
I got to “ezine” and almost stopped there, but the thought of adding another responsibility to my list seemed too daunting.
How to hook up a laptop to your TV…hmm…
How to make a QR code…that could be good.
How to build apps for smartphones…NOW WE ARE TALKING.
How to organize your home…maybe this is what I need, really.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
It's not what I did, it's what I didn't do.
First let me say that I'm not referring to my marriage. Right now, that's fine. No complaints.
I picked this song for the title because today I've been bothered a bit by the mistakes I made in the past. While typing that sentence I wondered how many mistakes I've blogged about. I thought I'd read the entries from the month that had the most, July 2007...but I couldn't read them all because I remembered where they led, where I went the next few months. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I got the job I had wanted, the job that ended 18 months later. I had two grandparents living then...I don't have either one now. But that wasn't my fault and neither was the loss of my job. Still, even now I wonder how different my life would be if I'd stayed at Skyline instead of going to Clarksville Cardiology and then Vandy and then Dr. Mishra's and then Glencliff and then Springfield. I don't regret moving from Madisonville, or leaving the VA or leaving Northcrest. I would go back to any of them if offered the right job, but I don't regret any moves before leaving Skyline.
I don't know that regret is the right word for how I feel about the other moves. I had my reasons for leaving all of them. I thought Vandy would give me a more secure future and help get my kids through college. I thought I could make peace with my situation working for Dr. Mishra, but it was everything I didn't like about working in nuclear cardiology. I left the Cliff because I wanted to teach closer to home. I don't regret going to Springfield, and I'm not sure I regret going into teaching, but, I miss working in health care. And, I miss the money I used to make.
Nuclear medicine technology is an oft-misunderstood profession, as I've learned over the years, even since I left the field, as I wrote last night. All those years, I felt like it sounded impressive but it wasn't. Now, I think, that DID sound impressive, and in some ways it was, and all the while, I didn't like it.
I feel like I haven't done much with my life. I've raised two great kids, and for that I'm very happy and thankful. Otherwise, I've spent too much time eating, playing on the computer, driving too much, writing about nonsense, and learning about trivia. I haven't written anything great or accomplished great things either for God or my family. I live from paycheck to paycheck and sometimes fall in the gap in between.
I haven't even made the most of this summer. I haven't cleaned the house as well as I should've, gotten in shape, or done enough fun stuff. Heck, I haven't even worked hard enough, because I haven't planned at all for this coming semester. And, it's coming fast. Not only that, but I've bitten off more than I can chew. But, I've done that for a reason. I have to do what I have to do.
Right now, I need to do laundry. So, I'll write more later.
I picked this song for the title because today I've been bothered a bit by the mistakes I made in the past. While typing that sentence I wondered how many mistakes I've blogged about. I thought I'd read the entries from the month that had the most, July 2007...but I couldn't read them all because I remembered where they led, where I went the next few months. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I got the job I had wanted, the job that ended 18 months later. I had two grandparents living then...I don't have either one now. But that wasn't my fault and neither was the loss of my job. Still, even now I wonder how different my life would be if I'd stayed at Skyline instead of going to Clarksville Cardiology and then Vandy and then Dr. Mishra's and then Glencliff and then Springfield. I don't regret moving from Madisonville, or leaving the VA or leaving Northcrest. I would go back to any of them if offered the right job, but I don't regret any moves before leaving Skyline.
I don't know that regret is the right word for how I feel about the other moves. I had my reasons for leaving all of them. I thought Vandy would give me a more secure future and help get my kids through college. I thought I could make peace with my situation working for Dr. Mishra, but it was everything I didn't like about working in nuclear cardiology. I left the Cliff because I wanted to teach closer to home. I don't regret going to Springfield, and I'm not sure I regret going into teaching, but, I miss working in health care. And, I miss the money I used to make.
Nuclear medicine technology is an oft-misunderstood profession, as I've learned over the years, even since I left the field, as I wrote last night. All those years, I felt like it sounded impressive but it wasn't. Now, I think, that DID sound impressive, and in some ways it was, and all the while, I didn't like it.
I feel like I haven't done much with my life. I've raised two great kids, and for that I'm very happy and thankful. Otherwise, I've spent too much time eating, playing on the computer, driving too much, writing about nonsense, and learning about trivia. I haven't written anything great or accomplished great things either for God or my family. I live from paycheck to paycheck and sometimes fall in the gap in between.
I haven't even made the most of this summer. I haven't cleaned the house as well as I should've, gotten in shape, or done enough fun stuff. Heck, I haven't even worked hard enough, because I haven't planned at all for this coming semester. And, it's coming fast. Not only that, but I've bitten off more than I can chew. But, I've done that for a reason. I have to do what I have to do.
Right now, I need to do laundry. So, I'll write more later.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
But time makes you bolder, children get older, I'm getting older too
I haven't blogged lately, because although I've been busy, I haven't had anything profound to say. Now that Spring Break has arrived, here are some updates on the family.
The boy is now 16 and has his driver's license. I thought I was going to lose my mind...just knew he'd get himself or someone else killed the first time he pulled the Grand Prix out of the driveway...but a month of driving has been pretty uneventful. Unlike when his sister started driving, jobs for teens aren't aplenty around here, but we think he might get a decent summer job (if gas prices don't crash the economy again). They're about to crash OUR economy here in the CCRS household.
The girl is loving Lipscomb and social club (read: sorority) life. She has a date for the formal next month, and they seem to be enjoying one another's company. She, too, is on Spring Break, but right now she's sleeping in her room, and he's on a mission trip with one of our cousins. She's planning to go on a mission trip in June.
The CCRS (man of the house) is doing all right. It's his busy time of the year, so he's NOT on Spring Break with the rest of us. He's getting quite a lot of playing time these days, which is probably good because it helps him blow off steam, but sometimes I wonder if it doesn't just make his stress level increase because it's quite time consuming and really messes with his sleep schedule. Of course I know nothing so I don't bring this up.
I'm doing much better. Though the neuropathy is bugging me at the moment, overall it bothers me a lot less lately than it has in the last few months. I'm taking new meds & they've been a real answer to prayer. School's been going all right, though I'm struggling with feeling like I am boring & don't make exciting, engaging, thought-provoking lessons. As I type this, I feel a little stressed just thinking about it. I may be a tiny bit better at showing my backbone these days, but I have a ways to go. I struggle with what God wants from me. I want to do what God wants me to do, but sometimes, I wonder just what that is. I'm taking the Lay Speaker Course next month. I don't see myself becoming a pastor (PLEASE don't get me started on that) but someone suggested I take it since I DO sing in other churches and it might help with giving testimony and things like that. I think I get plenty of public speaking experience.
We've unfortunately filled this week with medical appointments; today D & I go to the optometrist, Thursday he goes to the orthodontist, and Friday I go to the doctor for a follow-up on all the lovely health conditions that seem to enjoy hanging out in my body. That's all right. I'd rather go on vacation when I have a week to clean house prior and a week to relax afterward - I guess I was meant to be a teacher after all. Yesterday I sang at the nursing home again. I always love that.
The boy is now 16 and has his driver's license. I thought I was going to lose my mind...just knew he'd get himself or someone else killed the first time he pulled the Grand Prix out of the driveway...but a month of driving has been pretty uneventful. Unlike when his sister started driving, jobs for teens aren't aplenty around here, but we think he might get a decent summer job (if gas prices don't crash the economy again). They're about to crash OUR economy here in the CCRS household.
The girl is loving Lipscomb and social club (read: sorority) life. She has a date for the formal next month, and they seem to be enjoying one another's company. She, too, is on Spring Break, but right now she's sleeping in her room, and he's on a mission trip with one of our cousins. She's planning to go on a mission trip in June.
The CCRS (man of the house) is doing all right. It's his busy time of the year, so he's NOT on Spring Break with the rest of us. He's getting quite a lot of playing time these days, which is probably good because it helps him blow off steam, but sometimes I wonder if it doesn't just make his stress level increase because it's quite time consuming and really messes with his sleep schedule. Of course I know nothing so I don't bring this up.
I'm doing much better. Though the neuropathy is bugging me at the moment, overall it bothers me a lot less lately than it has in the last few months. I'm taking new meds & they've been a real answer to prayer. School's been going all right, though I'm struggling with feeling like I am boring & don't make exciting, engaging, thought-provoking lessons. As I type this, I feel a little stressed just thinking about it. I may be a tiny bit better at showing my backbone these days, but I have a ways to go. I struggle with what God wants from me. I want to do what God wants me to do, but sometimes, I wonder just what that is. I'm taking the Lay Speaker Course next month. I don't see myself becoming a pastor (PLEASE don't get me started on that) but someone suggested I take it since I DO sing in other churches and it might help with giving testimony and things like that. I think I get plenty of public speaking experience.
We've unfortunately filled this week with medical appointments; today D & I go to the optometrist, Thursday he goes to the orthodontist, and Friday I go to the doctor for a follow-up on all the lovely health conditions that seem to enjoy hanging out in my body. That's all right. I'd rather go on vacation when I have a week to clean house prior and a week to relax afterward - I guess I was meant to be a teacher after all. Yesterday I sang at the nursing home again. I always love that.
Monday, June 21, 2010
you can count on me...
I am thinking about using my journal to write a book about my first year in the classroom. I tried to come up with song lyrics that summed up each month last school year. In August, the title would have been, "A Change is Gonna Come." In September I was still overwhelmed and in the honeymoon stage. I picked "Dancin' in the Moonlight" for that one. October brought the end of the honeymoon phase and "The Thrill is Gone." In November, "There's a New Kid in Town" reflected the changes when Sarah came. I picked "Like a Rock" for December, with my strong resolve when Granddaddy passed. January was another story, with "Hopelessly Devoted to You." ("If I Can't Have You" would've been good too.) February, I chose "Rollercoaster" to describe the emotional upheaval in my house, and in March, "With a Little Luck" seemed to sum up my optimism. In April, I chose this song..."Count on Me" by Jefferson Starship. It was a song that reminded me of those happy moments in 1978, and the words of the title seemed to echo my sentiment for Glencliff as the job possibilities at other places came and went. (But more on that later.) With the flood on May 1, picking a song for that month was easy - "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"
As school ended, I thought I had made up my mind to stay at Glencliff. Then, I heard there would probably be a position at Sycamore. I applied. The next day the county posted on their website that they're looking for health science teachers but specifically put, "Must have RN license." In other words, "we got your resume, health science teacher without an RN license, but we want you and everyone else to know, we're only interested if you're a nurse, because one of these days we're going to offer the ONE course the state of TN requires to be taught by an RN. We haven't yet but we will." I wrote ugly things about this in my journal, but, que sera sera.
Well, that's all I have to say about that.
There were openings in Montgomery County, all gone now. One was taken by a teacher who left and went to Ft. Campbell. She tried to recruit me for Ft. Campbell and now she's going back to teaching. Ft. Campbell never called, by the way, and I wasn't all that fired up about going back to nucs so soon anyway. The money would be nice, though. One was taken by a teacher from Robertson County, which never posted that opening. I wonder if they were going to downsize anyway? There WAS an opening in Robertson County but it was as far from here as Glencliff is, and taking on two schools. I thought about it, but was kind of waiting for some other stuff to happen at the time, so I didn't apply. Had it been closer to home, I'd have been more interested.
So, at this point I think it's safe to say I'm going back to the Cliff next year, and I'm actually very happy about it. I have a new classroom and two of the three preps I had last year, with one added that I don't know much about but I'm excited to have. I have plans for HOSA and I think it will be a good year.
I hope my health will cooperate. Since school's been out, I've had an ear infection, stomach troubles, and a heel spur...plus, I'm waiting for the results of some lab work that could be life-changing. We shall see what this brings. I had really hoped to get into shape this summer but between a sore foot, giving up my Y membership because of money, and the extreme heat for this point in the year, I have just not been able to get anywhere. Still, I am LOVING the summer. It is GREAT to have days off.
Derek's mowing at Me-maw's today & Rachel's helping at a camp. Randy was off last week but had to go back today. I'm going to do some homework for my two summer courses now. Later, I'll do a little planning for the school year, and later, go to class. Summer is great.
As school ended, I thought I had made up my mind to stay at Glencliff. Then, I heard there would probably be a position at Sycamore. I applied. The next day the county posted on their website that they're looking for health science teachers but specifically put, "Must have RN license." In other words, "we got your resume, health science teacher without an RN license, but we want you and everyone else to know, we're only interested if you're a nurse, because one of these days we're going to offer the ONE course the state of TN requires to be taught by an RN. We haven't yet but we will." I wrote ugly things about this in my journal, but, que sera sera.
Well, that's all I have to say about that.
There were openings in Montgomery County, all gone now. One was taken by a teacher who left and went to Ft. Campbell. She tried to recruit me for Ft. Campbell and now she's going back to teaching. Ft. Campbell never called, by the way, and I wasn't all that fired up about going back to nucs so soon anyway. The money would be nice, though. One was taken by a teacher from Robertson County, which never posted that opening. I wonder if they were going to downsize anyway? There WAS an opening in Robertson County but it was as far from here as Glencliff is, and taking on two schools. I thought about it, but was kind of waiting for some other stuff to happen at the time, so I didn't apply. Had it been closer to home, I'd have been more interested.
So, at this point I think it's safe to say I'm going back to the Cliff next year, and I'm actually very happy about it. I have a new classroom and two of the three preps I had last year, with one added that I don't know much about but I'm excited to have. I have plans for HOSA and I think it will be a good year.
I hope my health will cooperate. Since school's been out, I've had an ear infection, stomach troubles, and a heel spur...plus, I'm waiting for the results of some lab work that could be life-changing. We shall see what this brings. I had really hoped to get into shape this summer but between a sore foot, giving up my Y membership because of money, and the extreme heat for this point in the year, I have just not been able to get anywhere. Still, I am LOVING the summer. It is GREAT to have days off.
Derek's mowing at Me-maw's today & Rachel's helping at a camp. Randy was off last week but had to go back today. I'm going to do some homework for my two summer courses now. Later, I'll do a little planning for the school year, and later, go to class. Summer is great.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Behind Closed Doors
I haven't blogged in awhile because...well, I just haven't made the time to write a lot lately. I started this post this morning. Then I re-thought the whole situation & now it's midnight - the next morning & I'm working on it again.
Life is busy, as usual.
This month I finally got an iPod & so far, the song I have played most has been "Behind Closed Doors" by Charlie Rich.
I liked this song when I was a kid. I wonder how much of it I understood, when I was six years old. Did I know what he meant when he said "She makes me glad that I'm a MAN!"? I wonder. But I knew it was something like "She's A Lady." I knew I wanted to be not just a woman, but a lady when I grew up.
I could go into all this, why this song in particular has been the one I've played over and over ad nauseum. And by the way, I always have one of those at any particular time in my life. A few months ago it was "Can't Fight This Feeling." Before that it was something else. My hair is longer now than it used to be, so sometimes I put it up...and behind closed doors, I let my hair hang down. But that's not why I like it. It might be what makes me think of it more often.
This made the fourth week I worked at the new place. I have liked it far more than I thought I would. I really didn't see that coming. I just realized I haven't written about that at all. Wow.
It has been wild. At first, when I was training, I cried a lot. I mean, a LOT. Then I actually did it on my own a few days, & I was OK with it. And after about a week, well, I was glad things happened the way they did. And after two weeks, I was sure it was for the best. I miss my old job. I loved it. But I like the new place too. I have a lot more autonomy and it is a lot closer to home. I may not be getting quite as good of a package, but it is nice to have more free time. I had a tough day today, but it wasn't awful. It was better than sitting at home wondering if Vanderbilt was ever going to call me back. Which they haven't.
It has been a tremendous change, going to a place where I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I am making things better. I may not ever be appreciated for that by my employers, but, I think the patients appreciate it. And, just for that alone, I feel much more valuable. Just about every day, at least one patient - sometimes more than one - hugs me, or tells me they had a good experience. Some days I will see a patient I scanned a few days ago & they will say something nice about their test. I hope they are telling the doctors that too. I try to make the patients feel as good as some of them make me feel. So far, it seems to be working.
It has its moments. I cut my thumb open yesterday with a razor, getting ready to prep a man's chest. In my old job, that wouldn't have happened because (A) we had shavers with a different type of blade, though they were trying to replace them when I left, and (B) I didn't have to prep most of my patients...though I did prep some of them so it could've happened there, I guess. On the other hand, in my old job I mashed a finger & cut my hand on a collimator, so you can get hurt anywhere. I had to spend 20 minutes getting put back together, with patients waiting. But as always, it worked out.
The rest of my life has been interesting too. It seems to be going by in a frenzied rush...sort of like the tornadoes that seem to hit on a weekly basis in this area.
A few weeks ago Randy's fraternity was re-chartered at APSU & we got to see some of our old buddies from college. That made me do some thinking...as did a picture a friend put on Facebook...as did a chance encounter with an old acquaintance, & then a second chance encounter with that acquaintance a few days later. I remembered a lot of things from our younger days that I have missed a lot since we grew up & changed. For instance, I used to love going to functions when Randy worked at The Messenger. I don't know if I realized it at the time...I probably dreaded getting ready, I was probably nervous about going, but I have great, great memories of those dinners. And since he left there, he hasn't worked anywhere I got to do that kind of socializing. Once or twice a year we have dinners with Jostens people, and I do like those. But it is so rare.
When we were young, I used to like going to see Randy play because his band played clubs where a lot of people would go: college friends, family members, his co-workers, you name it. That fell by the wayside too. Now, if his bands play out, they're in biker bars, and I'm not really comfortable there. (Though the Bikers Who Care Christmas party I went to was great!) Most of the time his bands just get together & practice, then they sit around & play cards or watch a race or game or something. I am not a part of this scene. I spend most of my weekend nights here at the house doing nothing.
This has always been a source of friction for me & Randy. His friends are mostly single, or divorced...few have girlfriends. When they get girlfriends, the girls keep them out of that circle. I don't particularly want to hang out with single women on the weekends. It is nothing personal. I just feel like I'm the only one not looking for a date, or who has to get home to the kids. It makes me wonder if Randy's buddies are looking for dates too. (If they are truly at some guy's house playing cards, probably not.) If I weren't married to Randy, I wouldn't be out trolling in some bar looking for a date. I seriously don't think I would have to, but if I did, I'd rather go sit at Borders & read for my own personal pleasure! Or sing Karaoke at Talents!
Truth be told, I LIKED the hobnobbing. I liked being the lady who was leaving with Randy! I liked the feeling that he was proud to be seen out with me in places like that. I don't necessarily have to be the most beautiful woman there, or by any means the most important one. I just want to be there, & for Randy to be proud to have me there. For a long time, that has been missing. I used to think I looked too frumpy & it didn't matter. But now, I don't feel all that frumpy anymore & by golly, I want him to be proud to be with me. So stay tuned. We will see how this pans out.
Mom's hanging in there, not getting any better really (I am a medical professional. Please don't tell me she's not going to get better. I know how this works. I also know people who have lived with this disease for a long time.) but, considering all, it is nothing short of AMAZING that she has been able to work as long as she has in her job as a school cafeteria worker. I think she would've liked to have been off work more, but at the same time, she didn't WANT to quit. But the time has come that she needs to quit her job. Hopefully, this will allow her to use her strength to feel better, instead of to get by. It is a tough time for her.
Rachel's job situation isn't good. Her hours have been cut. I hate this because we go to church with her boss, and Sunday is Easter, of course, so we will have to see her. But losing my job, though it seemed like the end of the world, has opened new doors for me, and maybe this change will do the same for Rachel.
I thought about saying something crazy, like publicly asking the church to donate money for Rachel's trip to Costa Rica because she was getting her hours cut...but I have more class than that. I am not going to be mean. Like I said, it wasn't bad for me in the long run, so it might be good for Rachel too. Besides, we've just about got this trip paid for anyway.
Longtime Channel 4 news anchor Dan Miller died this week. He's been a fixture in Nashville news. He will be missed, especially by his family. I understand he was a great dad.
Well, that's enough for now, I guess.
Life is busy, as usual.
This month I finally got an iPod & so far, the song I have played most has been "Behind Closed Doors" by Charlie Rich.
I liked this song when I was a kid. I wonder how much of it I understood, when I was six years old. Did I know what he meant when he said "She makes me glad that I'm a MAN!"? I wonder. But I knew it was something like "She's A Lady." I knew I wanted to be not just a woman, but a lady when I grew up.
I could go into all this, why this song in particular has been the one I've played over and over ad nauseum. And by the way, I always have one of those at any particular time in my life. A few months ago it was "Can't Fight This Feeling." Before that it was something else. My hair is longer now than it used to be, so sometimes I put it up...and behind closed doors, I let my hair hang down. But that's not why I like it. It might be what makes me think of it more often.
This made the fourth week I worked at the new place. I have liked it far more than I thought I would. I really didn't see that coming. I just realized I haven't written about that at all. Wow.
It has been wild. At first, when I was training, I cried a lot. I mean, a LOT. Then I actually did it on my own a few days, & I was OK with it. And after about a week, well, I was glad things happened the way they did. And after two weeks, I was sure it was for the best. I miss my old job. I loved it. But I like the new place too. I have a lot more autonomy and it is a lot closer to home. I may not be getting quite as good of a package, but it is nice to have more free time. I had a tough day today, but it wasn't awful. It was better than sitting at home wondering if Vanderbilt was ever going to call me back. Which they haven't.
It has been a tremendous change, going to a place where I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I am making things better. I may not ever be appreciated for that by my employers, but, I think the patients appreciate it. And, just for that alone, I feel much more valuable. Just about every day, at least one patient - sometimes more than one - hugs me, or tells me they had a good experience. Some days I will see a patient I scanned a few days ago & they will say something nice about their test. I hope they are telling the doctors that too. I try to make the patients feel as good as some of them make me feel. So far, it seems to be working.
It has its moments. I cut my thumb open yesterday with a razor, getting ready to prep a man's chest. In my old job, that wouldn't have happened because (A) we had shavers with a different type of blade, though they were trying to replace them when I left, and (B) I didn't have to prep most of my patients...though I did prep some of them so it could've happened there, I guess. On the other hand, in my old job I mashed a finger & cut my hand on a collimator, so you can get hurt anywhere. I had to spend 20 minutes getting put back together, with patients waiting. But as always, it worked out.
The rest of my life has been interesting too. It seems to be going by in a frenzied rush...sort of like the tornadoes that seem to hit on a weekly basis in this area.
A few weeks ago Randy's fraternity was re-chartered at APSU & we got to see some of our old buddies from college. That made me do some thinking...as did a picture a friend put on Facebook...as did a chance encounter with an old acquaintance, & then a second chance encounter with that acquaintance a few days later. I remembered a lot of things from our younger days that I have missed a lot since we grew up & changed. For instance, I used to love going to functions when Randy worked at The Messenger. I don't know if I realized it at the time...I probably dreaded getting ready, I was probably nervous about going, but I have great, great memories of those dinners. And since he left there, he hasn't worked anywhere I got to do that kind of socializing. Once or twice a year we have dinners with Jostens people, and I do like those. But it is so rare.
When we were young, I used to like going to see Randy play because his band played clubs where a lot of people would go: college friends, family members, his co-workers, you name it. That fell by the wayside too. Now, if his bands play out, they're in biker bars, and I'm not really comfortable there. (Though the Bikers Who Care Christmas party I went to was great!) Most of the time his bands just get together & practice, then they sit around & play cards or watch a race or game or something. I am not a part of this scene. I spend most of my weekend nights here at the house doing nothing.
This has always been a source of friction for me & Randy. His friends are mostly single, or divorced...few have girlfriends. When they get girlfriends, the girls keep them out of that circle. I don't particularly want to hang out with single women on the weekends. It is nothing personal. I just feel like I'm the only one not looking for a date, or who has to get home to the kids. It makes me wonder if Randy's buddies are looking for dates too. (If they are truly at some guy's house playing cards, probably not.) If I weren't married to Randy, I wouldn't be out trolling in some bar looking for a date. I seriously don't think I would have to, but if I did, I'd rather go sit at Borders & read for my own personal pleasure! Or sing Karaoke at Talents!
Truth be told, I LIKED the hobnobbing. I liked being the lady who was leaving with Randy! I liked the feeling that he was proud to be seen out with me in places like that. I don't necessarily have to be the most beautiful woman there, or by any means the most important one. I just want to be there, & for Randy to be proud to have me there. For a long time, that has been missing. I used to think I looked too frumpy & it didn't matter. But now, I don't feel all that frumpy anymore & by golly, I want him to be proud to be with me. So stay tuned. We will see how this pans out.
Mom's hanging in there, not getting any better really (I am a medical professional. Please don't tell me she's not going to get better. I know how this works. I also know people who have lived with this disease for a long time.) but, considering all, it is nothing short of AMAZING that she has been able to work as long as she has in her job as a school cafeteria worker. I think she would've liked to have been off work more, but at the same time, she didn't WANT to quit. But the time has come that she needs to quit her job. Hopefully, this will allow her to use her strength to feel better, instead of to get by. It is a tough time for her.
Rachel's job situation isn't good. Her hours have been cut. I hate this because we go to church with her boss, and Sunday is Easter, of course, so we will have to see her. But losing my job, though it seemed like the end of the world, has opened new doors for me, and maybe this change will do the same for Rachel.
I thought about saying something crazy, like publicly asking the church to donate money for Rachel's trip to Costa Rica because she was getting her hours cut...but I have more class than that. I am not going to be mean. Like I said, it wasn't bad for me in the long run, so it might be good for Rachel too. Besides, we've just about got this trip paid for anyway.
Longtime Channel 4 news anchor Dan Miller died this week. He's been a fixture in Nashville news. He will be missed, especially by his family. I understand he was a great dad.
Well, that's enough for now, I guess.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
How does it feel? To be on your own, Like a rolling stone
I guess I'm a rolling stone now. I lost my job yesterday.
If you read my last post, you know. Numbers were down. It was a case of the candle burning at both ends. On one side, we had my employer expanding & sending doctors to outlying areas - then the patients opted to have their tests at their home hospital instead of driving to the main campus. (Economic reasons? High gas? Probably.) On the other side, the economy was just flat out knocking down our numbers. Healthcare may be recession-proof, but diagnostic imaging is not. People can't afford to come have an expensive test if they don't have insurance. People can't afford their 10% if they DO have insurance.
I make good money, but if you subtract the cost of the medicines themselves & the supplies, one test would still pay my salary for five weeks. I don't know how much the machines cost per test. But if one machine lasts for ten years (and that's probably close to average), and if they cost twice what they did 15 years ago, then they'd only need to do two tests a month to pay for it. I figure if my house costs $300 a month to keep it heated & cooled & watered & hooked up to the phone (and it really doesn't cost that much), one test ought to pay for lights & water for one scan room for two years. I know all these things add up, & I know I don't know everything about running a hospital, but I think what they've been making from my work area in the course of a month minus the salaries, the benefits, the medicines, the estimated cost of a month of using the machine and the utitlities equals 1 million dollars. I know they don't get the full price for every test either. It's much more complicated than all that. It is just that - it is complicated.
That's my ranting. I won't go into the politics of who got what or whose fault it is or any of that. It is possible that I could be offered another job through Vanderbilt. It is hard to say. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know when, really. I go back Monday, & then we take it day by day, I guess, until the paperwork is completed. Then I get paid for awhile afterwards, then...we will see if the other job is open. I don't have to make up my mind right away about what I'm going to do, but a lot of this wasn't my choice. I didn't do it my way this time.
It is a strange feeling to look across the table at the person who hired you, who was someone you trained back in the day, telling you that your services are no longer needed. It is strange to think, I changed my whole life for this, to drive 35 miles one way to work so that my kids could have assistance going to college, & then find out, I may have to start all over. I have to work there full time for 5 years to get that benefit. When I started my kids were 15 and 12. Five years would've put the benefit going into effect at ages 20 and 17. I could've gotten the benefit for half of Rachel's college, all of Derek's. Now, if all I can get is part-time in three months, and if indeed it does become full-time again in six, and I have to start over the kids will be 17 and 14. Five years would put it completely out of Rachel's range, and cut off a year out of Derek's. And that's provided I get full-time that soon.
Randy said, "Well, before you cut Vanderbilt completely out of your plans, let me know. I don't want to put my future trust in some doctor's office." I said, "Well, I don't know that I'll ever completely trust Vanderbilt again."
Do you blame me?
If you read my last post, you know. Numbers were down. It was a case of the candle burning at both ends. On one side, we had my employer expanding & sending doctors to outlying areas - then the patients opted to have their tests at their home hospital instead of driving to the main campus. (Economic reasons? High gas? Probably.) On the other side, the economy was just flat out knocking down our numbers. Healthcare may be recession-proof, but diagnostic imaging is not. People can't afford to come have an expensive test if they don't have insurance. People can't afford their 10% if they DO have insurance.
I make good money, but if you subtract the cost of the medicines themselves & the supplies, one test would still pay my salary for five weeks. I don't know how much the machines cost per test. But if one machine lasts for ten years (and that's probably close to average), and if they cost twice what they did 15 years ago, then they'd only need to do two tests a month to pay for it. I figure if my house costs $300 a month to keep it heated & cooled & watered & hooked up to the phone (and it really doesn't cost that much), one test ought to pay for lights & water for one scan room for two years. I know all these things add up, & I know I don't know everything about running a hospital, but I think what they've been making from my work area in the course of a month minus the salaries, the benefits, the medicines, the estimated cost of a month of using the machine and the utitlities equals 1 million dollars. I know they don't get the full price for every test either. It's much more complicated than all that. It is just that - it is complicated.
That's my ranting. I won't go into the politics of who got what or whose fault it is or any of that. It is possible that I could be offered another job through Vanderbilt. It is hard to say. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know when, really. I go back Monday, & then we take it day by day, I guess, until the paperwork is completed. Then I get paid for awhile afterwards, then...we will see if the other job is open. I don't have to make up my mind right away about what I'm going to do, but a lot of this wasn't my choice. I didn't do it my way this time.
It is a strange feeling to look across the table at the person who hired you, who was someone you trained back in the day, telling you that your services are no longer needed. It is strange to think, I changed my whole life for this, to drive 35 miles one way to work so that my kids could have assistance going to college, & then find out, I may have to start all over. I have to work there full time for 5 years to get that benefit. When I started my kids were 15 and 12. Five years would've put the benefit going into effect at ages 20 and 17. I could've gotten the benefit for half of Rachel's college, all of Derek's. Now, if all I can get is part-time in three months, and if indeed it does become full-time again in six, and I have to start over the kids will be 17 and 14. Five years would put it completely out of Rachel's range, and cut off a year out of Derek's. And that's provided I get full-time that soon.
Randy said, "Well, before you cut Vanderbilt completely out of your plans, let me know. I don't want to put my future trust in some doctor's office." I said, "Well, I don't know that I'll ever completely trust Vanderbilt again."
Do you blame me?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
riders on the storm
As I predicted, my storm isn't over.
First the good news. Mom is doing as well as can be expected. Heck, in my opinion, she's doing better than anybody expected! She got through the radiation treatments & now she's back to work & getting stronger every day.
The bad news - and you knew there would be some - is that my job has been about as stressful as it could possibly be. This job I wished for and dreamed of, this job that was supposed to be our way of the hole we were in and into security - for our kids & their dreams of driving and going to college, for me & Randy to get some of our debts paid, this job that was going to be the one I would retire from - may be disappearing. They tell us somebody's going. Frankly, I think it looks pretty grim.
The what & the why will come later. I don't want to get into all that right now. I am just a little tired of being on the edge.
I think we will know Friday afternoon. That's when we will have the big meeting. I am off until Friday morning at 7. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous or scared, but, I have faith & I have friends, & I have my family, & I will do something. Maybe I can go back to mystery shopping or doing PRN work or selling antiques. Maybe there will be more nursing home singing jobs. If I am available every day, who knows? I would still like to make my CD I've been planning. Maybe I'll sell some copies of that. Randy has the option of taking the insurance for us, & we will be all right.
First the good news. Mom is doing as well as can be expected. Heck, in my opinion, she's doing better than anybody expected! She got through the radiation treatments & now she's back to work & getting stronger every day.
The bad news - and you knew there would be some - is that my job has been about as stressful as it could possibly be. This job I wished for and dreamed of, this job that was supposed to be our way of the hole we were in and into security - for our kids & their dreams of driving and going to college, for me & Randy to get some of our debts paid, this job that was going to be the one I would retire from - may be disappearing. They tell us somebody's going. Frankly, I think it looks pretty grim.
The what & the why will come later. I don't want to get into all that right now. I am just a little tired of being on the edge.
I think we will know Friday afternoon. That's when we will have the big meeting. I am off until Friday morning at 7. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous or scared, but, I have faith & I have friends, & I have my family, & I will do something. Maybe I can go back to mystery shopping or doing PRN work or selling antiques. Maybe there will be more nursing home singing jobs. If I am available every day, who knows? I would still like to make my CD I've been planning. Maybe I'll sell some copies of that. Randy has the option of taking the insurance for us, & we will be all right.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Time marches on.
OK. History has been/is being made. Congratulations to President-elect Obama. May God guide you as you lead our nation.
I didn't blog about the election & I'm not going to say any more about it. I just don't do political arguments very well. I guess I am too open-minded, because I can usually see both sides of the story, & most elections are no exception to that.
I don't make decisions very well. It is just part of who I am. Oh, some decisions come easy for me. When Randy wrecked his truck last week, I had time to go up to see the truck first, but I went to see him. The truck could wait until the next day, but I wanted to see that he was, truly, all right. Most decisions aren't so simple. Do I pick the more expensive & time-consuming but healthier meal or go for the convenient, cheaper (& sometimes, better tasting) fast food? Do I spend $800 on tires at the tire store or take a chance with the $400 tires we can get from Randy's buddy who works at the salvage yard?
By the way, the $400 tires that didn't fit exactly right caused us to spend $400 on repairs. And less than a month later, the truck got totaled - when someone pulled out & hit my husband, through no fault of his own. This is what's wrong with the economy at my house. I try not to look at life with a victim mentality, but when you've about got a truck paid for & someone else hits you, & you can't get a truck as good as that one for the money the insurance company gives you, well, it's kind of hard not to think, "I need $10,000 more dollars, & I didn't do anything wrong to deserve this."
So, I am ready to move on. I don't know exactly what changes our nation is headed for, only what I have heard from many different prognosticators. I do, however, know Someone who does.
When I started this blog, I thought I would use it to write more about my faith & about my desire to live a simpler, greener life. It has not turned out that way much at all. I don't have time to do a lot of blogging, but I am not going to quit. I just don't update often.
My life has changed. I used to work 30 hours a week, spend hours finding the cheapest grocery prices, drive a lot of miles to find organically-grown chicken & wheat for grinding to make my own bread. (I never did get that into a habit, though, as much as I like baking bread.) I spent hours & money trying to build my own home-based business. I thought I would have been better off if I had married someone who wanted to have as many children as God would give them, homeschooling them & living on one income. But, I didn't do that. I didn't know that was an option when I was 18, 19, 20 years old. Even though I grew up in church & my mom didn't work full-time most of my childhood, I didn't think I would be an at-home mom, because there were all kinds of moms in my community, & I didn't see that one kind was better than the other. I was always encouraged to go to college & have a career, & that I could have it all.
I have no desire to argue with people who, for whatever reasons, are living their dream or a life I find intriguing but wouldn't work for me because I didn't marry the same man they did. I don't blame my husband for the fact that I work 40 hours a week outside the home, but he grew up in a two-income family & wanted two children & no more. I've blogged about that before. I tried working less, to spend more time at home, & I ended up in more debt. Now I am working more, still in debt, but thankful to have a job with good benefits, thankful to have a loving husband who understands what I am going through every day, & thankful to have two teenagers who are hard-working, good kids.
I would like to spend more time at home, doing more domestic things like healthy meal preparation. I hope to do more blogging about that.
I would also like to do more writing & I intend to do more blogging about that.
So, my focus may change a little, from the "I wish I was a "crunchy" conservative homeschooling mom but I'm too broke & screwed up" perspective to "Here's what I'm doing in the garden & where I'm singing this week & what I've been writing." Personally, I think it's going to be a positive & fun change.
I didn't blog about the election & I'm not going to say any more about it. I just don't do political arguments very well. I guess I am too open-minded, because I can usually see both sides of the story, & most elections are no exception to that.
I don't make decisions very well. It is just part of who I am. Oh, some decisions come easy for me. When Randy wrecked his truck last week, I had time to go up to see the truck first, but I went to see him. The truck could wait until the next day, but I wanted to see that he was, truly, all right. Most decisions aren't so simple. Do I pick the more expensive & time-consuming but healthier meal or go for the convenient, cheaper (& sometimes, better tasting) fast food? Do I spend $800 on tires at the tire store or take a chance with the $400 tires we can get from Randy's buddy who works at the salvage yard?
By the way, the $400 tires that didn't fit exactly right caused us to spend $400 on repairs. And less than a month later, the truck got totaled - when someone pulled out & hit my husband, through no fault of his own. This is what's wrong with the economy at my house. I try not to look at life with a victim mentality, but when you've about got a truck paid for & someone else hits you, & you can't get a truck as good as that one for the money the insurance company gives you, well, it's kind of hard not to think, "I need $10,000 more dollars, & I didn't do anything wrong to deserve this."
So, I am ready to move on. I don't know exactly what changes our nation is headed for, only what I have heard from many different prognosticators. I do, however, know Someone who does.
When I started this blog, I thought I would use it to write more about my faith & about my desire to live a simpler, greener life. It has not turned out that way much at all. I don't have time to do a lot of blogging, but I am not going to quit. I just don't update often.
My life has changed. I used to work 30 hours a week, spend hours finding the cheapest grocery prices, drive a lot of miles to find organically-grown chicken & wheat for grinding to make my own bread. (I never did get that into a habit, though, as much as I like baking bread.) I spent hours & money trying to build my own home-based business. I thought I would have been better off if I had married someone who wanted to have as many children as God would give them, homeschooling them & living on one income. But, I didn't do that. I didn't know that was an option when I was 18, 19, 20 years old. Even though I grew up in church & my mom didn't work full-time most of my childhood, I didn't think I would be an at-home mom, because there were all kinds of moms in my community, & I didn't see that one kind was better than the other. I was always encouraged to go to college & have a career, & that I could have it all.
I have no desire to argue with people who, for whatever reasons, are living their dream or a life I find intriguing but wouldn't work for me because I didn't marry the same man they did. I don't blame my husband for the fact that I work 40 hours a week outside the home, but he grew up in a two-income family & wanted two children & no more. I've blogged about that before. I tried working less, to spend more time at home, & I ended up in more debt. Now I am working more, still in debt, but thankful to have a job with good benefits, thankful to have a loving husband who understands what I am going through every day, & thankful to have two teenagers who are hard-working, good kids.
I would like to spend more time at home, doing more domestic things like healthy meal preparation. I hope to do more blogging about that.
I would also like to do more writing & I intend to do more blogging about that.
So, my focus may change a little, from the "I wish I was a "crunchy" conservative homeschooling mom but I'm too broke & screwed up" perspective to "Here's what I'm doing in the garden & where I'm singing this week & what I've been writing." Personally, I think it's going to be a positive & fun change.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
You can't always get what you want.
Wow. Two posts in one day. I haven't played the game yet. I've been tempted but I stayed away. I'll go to bed shortly. It's just now getting dark here, but O-dark-thirty comes mighty fast. Randy & Rachel are watching "No Country For Old Men." I've sort of watched it too...been checking email, planning my tomorrow, washing dishes, & that kind of stuff while the movie's been running.
I can't say I've been a lot more cheerful since I got home, but I've cleaned out the bag of medical bills (& got the checks ready to mail in the morning!), cleaned out the fridge & washed the dishes. I've washed some clothes too. So I feel like I've accomplished something.
I have been on a hippie wannabe kick lately. I have to wonder about something. Maybe there are some old hippies out there who can answer this for me. It seems to me that becoming a hippie in 2008 is more expensive than living in the mainstream. Now, you can look at this in the long term & think, well, non-sustainable living isn't really cheaper...but that isn't my point. My point is, in the short-term, it seems to be more expensive to eat locally grown food & buy earth-friendly clothing. You can save money on makeup & hair care (of course, if you have a real job you might have to invest in a few grooming products - & again, if you use the "green" stuff it's going to cost you more than the Dollar General store stuff). So, my question is this. Was it more expensive to be a hippie instead of a conformist in the 60's? I don't see evidence that it was...but I was born in 1967 so I don't know this for certain.
I know we didn't have much, & we didn't live like hippies. We lived in a trailer. My parents were young, but they weren't hippies. My mom wasn't anti-hippie. She shared a lot of their values like being for peace & accepting people for what they are. She liked some of the music but she will tell you she didn't "get" the messages, except maybe the ones about stopping the war. Most young mothers in our hometown were like Mom was back then. She liked fashion too much to be a hippie. I can't imagine my mom letting her hair grow wild. Not back then anyway. She probably also cared about the fact that being a hippie wasn't so widely accepted in our hometown back then. At that time she wasn't really ready to take that step.
My dad could've been anti-hippie. He was a clean-cut Merle Haggard fan. You know, "We don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee." A few years down the road, Dad let his hair grow out a little & had Elvis-style sideburns, & would've lived in a cabin in the wilderness if he hadn't already owed money on a house in a subdivision. But a hippie he was not, even though his dad owned a VW bus.
I thought hippies were cool back then, but I didn't know about all the protests & drugs. I just knew about the psychedelic vans & clothes & the cool music, the people with long hair who said "groovy" & hung beads in the doorway. Lava lamps were cool, but like VW buses, I didn't associate them with hippies because my non-hippie aunt had one. She also had a gold Nova & watched PBS a lot.
Now I want to be a hippie but I can't seem to get what I want! But for now, I need to go to bed. Later!
I can't say I've been a lot more cheerful since I got home, but I've cleaned out the bag of medical bills (& got the checks ready to mail in the morning!), cleaned out the fridge & washed the dishes. I've washed some clothes too. So I feel like I've accomplished something.
I have been on a hippie wannabe kick lately. I have to wonder about something. Maybe there are some old hippies out there who can answer this for me. It seems to me that becoming a hippie in 2008 is more expensive than living in the mainstream. Now, you can look at this in the long term & think, well, non-sustainable living isn't really cheaper...but that isn't my point. My point is, in the short-term, it seems to be more expensive to eat locally grown food & buy earth-friendly clothing. You can save money on makeup & hair care (of course, if you have a real job you might have to invest in a few grooming products - & again, if you use the "green" stuff it's going to cost you more than the Dollar General store stuff). So, my question is this. Was it more expensive to be a hippie instead of a conformist in the 60's? I don't see evidence that it was...but I was born in 1967 so I don't know this for certain.
I know we didn't have much, & we didn't live like hippies. We lived in a trailer. My parents were young, but they weren't hippies. My mom wasn't anti-hippie. She shared a lot of their values like being for peace & accepting people for what they are. She liked some of the music but she will tell you she didn't "get" the messages, except maybe the ones about stopping the war. Most young mothers in our hometown were like Mom was back then. She liked fashion too much to be a hippie. I can't imagine my mom letting her hair grow wild. Not back then anyway. She probably also cared about the fact that being a hippie wasn't so widely accepted in our hometown back then. At that time she wasn't really ready to take that step.
My dad could've been anti-hippie. He was a clean-cut Merle Haggard fan. You know, "We don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee." A few years down the road, Dad let his hair grow out a little & had Elvis-style sideburns, & would've lived in a cabin in the wilderness if he hadn't already owed money on a house in a subdivision. But a hippie he was not, even though his dad owned a VW bus.
I thought hippies were cool back then, but I didn't know about all the protests & drugs. I just knew about the psychedelic vans & clothes & the cool music, the people with long hair who said "groovy" & hung beads in the doorway. Lava lamps were cool, but like VW buses, I didn't associate them with hippies because my non-hippie aunt had one. She also had a gold Nova & watched PBS a lot.
Now I want to be a hippie but I can't seem to get what I want! But for now, I need to go to bed. Later!
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