Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Time marches on.

OK. History has been/is being made. Congratulations to President-elect Obama. May God guide you as you lead our nation.

I didn't blog about the election & I'm not going to say any more about it. I just don't do political arguments very well. I guess I am too open-minded, because I can usually see both sides of the story, & most elections are no exception to that.

I don't make decisions very well. It is just part of who I am. Oh, some decisions come easy for me. When Randy wrecked his truck last week, I had time to go up to see the truck first, but I went to see him. The truck could wait until the next day, but I wanted to see that he was, truly, all right. Most decisions aren't so simple. Do I pick the more expensive & time-consuming but healthier meal or go for the convenient, cheaper (& sometimes, better tasting) fast food? Do I spend $800 on tires at the tire store or take a chance with the $400 tires we can get from Randy's buddy who works at the salvage yard?

By the way, the $400 tires that didn't fit exactly right caused us to spend $400 on repairs. And less than a month later, the truck got totaled - when someone pulled out & hit my husband, through no fault of his own. This is what's wrong with the economy at my house. I try not to look at life with a victim mentality, but when you've about got a truck paid for & someone else hits you, & you can't get a truck as good as that one for the money the insurance company gives you, well, it's kind of hard not to think, "I need $10,000 more dollars, & I didn't do anything wrong to deserve this."

So, I am ready to move on. I don't know exactly what changes our nation is headed for, only what I have heard from many different prognosticators. I do, however, know Someone who does.

When I started this blog, I thought I would use it to write more about my faith & about my desire to live a simpler, greener life. It has not turned out that way much at all. I don't have time to do a lot of blogging, but I am not going to quit. I just don't update often.

My life has changed. I used to work 30 hours a week, spend hours finding the cheapest grocery prices, drive a lot of miles to find organically-grown chicken & wheat for grinding to make my own bread. (I never did get that into a habit, though, as much as I like baking bread.) I spent hours & money trying to build my own home-based business. I thought I would have been better off if I had married someone who wanted to have as many children as God would give them, homeschooling them & living on one income. But, I didn't do that. I didn't know that was an option when I was 18, 19, 20 years old. Even though I grew up in church & my mom didn't work full-time most of my childhood, I didn't think I would be an at-home mom, because there were all kinds of moms in my community, & I didn't see that one kind was better than the other. I was always encouraged to go to college & have a career, & that I could have it all.

I have no desire to argue with people who, for whatever reasons, are living their dream or a life I find intriguing but wouldn't work for me because I didn't marry the same man they did. I don't blame my husband for the fact that I work 40 hours a week outside the home, but he grew up in a two-income family & wanted two children & no more. I've blogged about that before. I tried working less, to spend more time at home, & I ended up in more debt. Now I am working more, still in debt, but thankful to have a job with good benefits, thankful to have a loving husband who understands what I am going through every day, & thankful to have two teenagers who are hard-working, good kids.

I would like to spend more time at home, doing more domestic things like healthy meal preparation. I hope to do more blogging about that.

I would also like to do more writing & I intend to do more blogging about that.

So, my focus may change a little, from the "I wish I was a "crunchy" conservative homeschooling mom but I'm too broke & screwed up" perspective to "Here's what I'm doing in the garden & where I'm singing this week & what I've been writing." Personally, I think it's going to be a positive & fun change.

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