He stopped loving her today. Well,yesterday.

You knew, being a native Nashvillian, that I would post something about the Possum. I can't say anything original about the man but when I learned, I gasped in disbelief like a lot of other Nashvillians I'm sure. It was a sad but beautiful day in the Music City.

And I can't get it out of my head...

I'm sure I've used that title before... but tonight I'm using it because I don't want my title to be "Look at that new Toyota!"  That's the commercial that gets into my head every single time I hear the stinking thing.

Life's been busy, busy, busy lately.  Nothing too exciting, just the usual day-in, day-out to-dos of a high school teacher with a husband, two adult children, a house, three vehicles (until October when the old car gets signed over to the boy), and lots of side jobs to make extra money.  I've done such cool things as proctor the ACT, teach CPR at the hospital, pick up a home health aide job, and selling antiques.  Oh, and we can't forget church!

My mind is somewhat full of... well, I wouldn't call it fear... I guess I'd call it anxiety.  I'm not exactly anxious either, but I wouldn't call my feelings excitement or wonder or curiosity because those terms sound like something you're looking forward to.  I'm not looking forward to getting my lab results.  The last few lab results have not been good, although the ultrasound wasn't bad.  With my WebMD degree (and undoubtedly thorough knowledge of the subject, sad to say) I have diagnosed myself with leukemia.  Not sure what kind though.  

You can laugh now.  I mean, don't we all get that feeling from Internet diagnoses sometimes?

I am not sure why I have enlarged lymph nodes and elevated WBC counts that were high even before the lymph nodes began growing and I don't feel like I have any infection and apparently I've had one for over a month.  I'm also not sure why I have some other things going on... I'd rather not get into all that... but let's just say that it wouldn't surprise me if that is, indeed, what's up.  Genetically, I don't have the best shot.  I had genetic testing for BRCA a few years ago at Mom's doctor's insistence and while I was clear for BRCA I had all kinds of leukemia genes.  This didn't surprise me.  Mom has had two maternal uncles who had it, one who died at 18 and one who was diagnosed at around age 49.  He is still living today at age 72.  She also had a cousin who had it on her dad's side of the family and died at around age 16.  So genetics haven't been very kind to me in that respect.

On the other hand, I danced around in the pep rally today like I had no worries at all, and all the energy in the world.  I came home, ate dinner, and took a nap.  Now I'm about to crash for the night.


So for the next four days I get to live like I'm dying while I wait to find out what's really going on.  We shall see.  Meanwhile, I am not living in fear.  I'm just waiting.

Time, don't run out on me.

Time is flying.  It's already April.  What a year it has been... not all bad, certainly not all good.

I'm watching "Mask" which is bad because it means I won't ever do anything else the rest of the night... not that I was planning to do anything anyway.  I was planning to go to bed at a halfway decent hour.  I napped from 4:30 to about 5:30.  I looked at Facebook and I did Derek's taxes.  I worked on my APSU registration.  That's about it.  Sad, huh?  The night just flew.  I just wanted to document that I did something - albeit very small - with it.

He's Alive!

Happy Easter everybody!  I had a great Easter, though I didn't feel too great.  I ate a good breakfast and didn't feel much like eating lunch (but I did).  Since then I have just snacked a bit.  We went to Sunrise Service and then to regular worship where we sang in the cantata.  Then we went to Randy's mom's for lunch, with Rachel.  D had to work.

I really just wanted to post that I decided last week to put off working on the PhD until next year, if at all.  I was 22 when I got my BS, and I'll be 46 when I get my MAEd.  At that rate I'll be 70 when I get my PhD, and that's OK.  I don't know that I'll wait that long, but I don't know that I'll get it at all.  Maybe when I am not in school I will enjoy teaching more.  We shall see.  Part of me would like to get a degree in counseling also... my interest is in psychology and neuroscience... but we shall see.  I don't know that I have to get more formal education to learn more.

I'm not Lisa. My name is Julie.

My name is not Julie.  Nor was the woman's singing this song - that would've been Jessi Colter, the undeniably hot wife (now widow) of Waylon Jennings.  My really pretty stepsister looks a lot like a young Jessi, to me.  Yes, I am a little jealous - Jessi was hot, but also extremely cool.  Still is, really.

That link will take you to a YouTube video of her singing on "Hee Haw" and, of course, if you know me, you'll know I've written a bunch of stuff about that show.

I didn't start this post with the intention of writing about Jessi Colter.  I wanted to write about someone named Julie, Julie London.  She was another hot but extremely cool lady.  Yes, I really AM heterosexual.  I promise.  But when you're a kid, you often admire the beautiful women in your life and in front of you on the TV.  I haven't forgotten this!

With this sort of mindset, the other morning I was fighting the urge to go back to sleep.  The night before, I'd been up late and I read the IMDb profile I linked above, and I thought, I really need to watch some "Emergency."  So that morning when I was dragging, I thought, "What would Dixie McCall do?"  Dixie, of course, was the name of Julie's character, the unflappable, consummate ER nurse who was, in my humble opinion, perfect for the job.  She stood up for others, whether they be the patient or a co-worker, whenever necessary.  She offered a listening ear or a hand to hold.  She was efficient and professional, caring and yet direct.  She was smart and always knew what to do.  I still want to be Dixie when I grow up.

What would Dixie have done that early morning?  Why, she'd have gotten up and made a pot of coffee and gotten down to business!  I could've made a pot of coffee, but I've been drinking tea more lately.  I had a jug in the kitchen, so I poured myself a big glass and got on with my day.  I had an observation that day.  I don't know yet how it went (my meeting is tomorrow) but I felt cool, calm, unflappable, and interesting.  I created a meme and put it on my desktop both at home and work, and even printed a copy for my desk at work:

You may copy it... I don't remember where the picture came from either so I deserve no credit.  It's good to have it.  I sat down here awhile ago and I saw that picture and I thought... Dixie would sit here and do her lesson plans!

Of course I sat here and wrote this post instead... but I'll get to work on those lesson plans right away.  I just had to share this with my "fans."  (tee, hee... these probably never get read!)