We shall overcome, some day.

Is today an anniversary of some event in the Civil Rights Movement? I'm asking because I just got through watching "Mississippi Burning," and now "Ghosts of Mississippi" is on. I'd never seen the first movie before today, but I'd heard of it. The latter's one of my favorites. (I just love Alec Baldwin with a Southern accent. It drips like honey from his mouth.) I know it's not MLK's birthday, or anniversary of his assassination. Emmett Till's birthday is next week, and Medgar Evers' was week before last. Actually, if you Google "July in Civil Rights History," you'll see that several events took place in July.

I'm home alone tonight. Randy's got a "gig," Rachel's working at school, & Derek's spending the night with a friend. If I think about it, I get kind of sad thinking that my babies are grown up, but I'm really too busy to be lonely. I've been to see friends today anyway so I don't feel lonely. I got my hair cut really short today. I wanted to go back to the natural color, and besides, it was hot. There's plenty to do: laundry, coursework for my Desktop Publishing class, dishes, balancing the checkbook, recording stuff on the DVR for my collection, lesson planning, studying the CNA book, and reading the Bible!!! I'm starting CNA classes on Monday.

All summer, I looked for a part-time job I could do in the summers and perhaps on weekends during the school year too. Well, nobody wanted a Certified Nuclear Medicine Technologist who could only work PRN in the summer. So, I applied for care partner positions, and other medical jobs that I'm probably over-qualified to do. Nobody thought a CNMT could do anything except punch buttons and I can imagine them asking, don't they handle radiation? Why doesn't she find a job in oncology or something? Uh, because first, I'm not qualified to do radiation oncology and second, there are 35 jobs - nationwide - if you type in "nuclear medicine technologist" on CareerBuilder, and 20 of them are for medical technologists or nuclear pharmacists or other jobs I am not qualified to do. The other 15 are all over the country, the closest being in Atlanta, 4 hours away. If I wanted to go full time, the closest position is in Florida, 8 or more hours away.

Most of the care partner jobs, as well as home health aide jobs, require a Nursing Assistant certification (CNA). You can't challenge the board on that. You have to go to 100 hours of schooling. Some long-term care facilities (nursing homes, assisted living facilities, etc.) will pay for you to do it, but most want applicants who already have their CNA. So, I decided to go on and do it. The first six weeks of school will be crazy...I'll finish one graduate-level class, start two more, finish the CNA class all while teaching! I'm sort of excited but also sort of scared! I believe I can do it, though.

Well, on that note, I guess I'd better get to work.

Behind Closed Doors

I haven't blogged in awhile because...well, I just haven't made the time to write a lot lately. I started this post this morning. Then I re-thought the whole situation & now it's midnight - the next morning & I'm working on it again.

Life is busy, as usual.

This month I finally got an iPod & so far, the song I have played most has been "Behind Closed Doors" by Charlie Rich.

I liked this song when I was a kid. I wonder how much of it I understood, when I was six years old. Did I know what he meant when he said "She makes me glad that I'm a MAN!"? I wonder. But I knew it was something like "She's A Lady." I knew I wanted to be not just a woman, but a lady when I grew up.

I could go into all this, why this song in particular has been the one I've played over and over ad nauseum. And by the way, I always have one of those at any particular time in my life. A few months ago it was "Can't Fight This Feeling." Before that it was something else. My hair is longer now than it used to be, so sometimes I put it up...and behind closed doors, I let my hair hang down. But that's not why I like it. It might be what makes me think of it more often.

This made the fourth week I worked at the new place. I have liked it far more than I thought I would. I really didn't see that coming. I just realized I haven't written about that at all. Wow.

It has been wild. At first, when I was training, I cried a lot. I mean, a LOT. Then I actually did it on my own a few days, & I was OK with it. And after about a week, well, I was glad things happened the way they did. And after two weeks, I was sure it was for the best. I miss my old job. I loved it. But I like the new place too. I have a lot more autonomy and it is a lot closer to home. I may not be getting quite as good of a package, but it is nice to have more free time. I had a tough day today, but it wasn't awful. It was better than sitting at home wondering if Vanderbilt was ever going to call me back. Which they haven't.

It has been a tremendous change, going to a place where I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I am making things better. I may not ever be appreciated for that by my employers, but, I think the patients appreciate it. And, just for that alone, I feel much more valuable. Just about every day, at least one patient - sometimes more than one - hugs me, or tells me they had a good experience. Some days I will see a patient I scanned a few days ago & they will say something nice about their test. I hope they are telling the doctors that too. I try to make the patients feel as good as some of them make me feel. So far, it seems to be working.

It has its moments. I cut my thumb open yesterday with a razor, getting ready to prep a man's chest. In my old job, that wouldn't have happened because (A) we had shavers with a different type of blade, though they were trying to replace them when I left, and (B) I didn't have to prep most of my patients...though I did prep some of them so it could've happened there, I guess. On the other hand, in my old job I mashed a finger & cut my hand on a collimator, so you can get hurt anywhere. I had to spend 20 minutes getting put back together, with patients waiting. But as always, it worked out.

The rest of my life has been interesting too. It seems to be going by in a frenzied rush...sort of like the tornadoes that seem to hit on a weekly basis in this area.

A few weeks ago Randy's fraternity was re-chartered at APSU & we got to see some of our old buddies from college. That made me do some thinking...as did a picture a friend put on Facebook...as did a chance encounter with an old acquaintance, & then a second chance encounter with that acquaintance a few days later. I remembered a lot of things from our younger days that I have missed a lot since we grew up & changed. For instance, I used to love going to functions when Randy worked at The Messenger. I don't know if I realized it at the time...I probably dreaded getting ready, I was probably nervous about going, but I have great, great memories of those dinners. And since he left there, he hasn't worked anywhere I got to do that kind of socializing. Once or twice a year we have dinners with Jostens people, and I do like those. But it is so rare.

When we were young, I used to like going to see Randy play because his band played clubs where a lot of people would go: college friends, family members, his co-workers, you name it. That fell by the wayside too. Now, if his bands play out, they're in biker bars, and I'm not really comfortable there. (Though the Bikers Who Care Christmas party I went to was great!) Most of the time his bands just get together & practice, then they sit around & play cards or watch a race or game or something. I am not a part of this scene. I spend most of my weekend nights here at the house doing nothing.

This has always been a source of friction for me & Randy. His friends are mostly single, or divorced...few have girlfriends. When they get girlfriends, the girls keep them out of that circle. I don't particularly want to hang out with single women on the weekends. It is nothing personal. I just feel like I'm the only one not looking for a date, or who has to get home to the kids. It makes me wonder if Randy's buddies are looking for dates too. (If they are truly at some guy's house playing cards, probably not.) If I weren't married to Randy, I wouldn't be out trolling in some bar looking for a date. I seriously don't think I would have to, but if I did, I'd rather go sit at Borders & read for my own personal pleasure! Or sing Karaoke at Talents!

Truth be told, I LIKED the hobnobbing. I liked being the lady who was leaving with Randy! I liked the feeling that he was proud to be seen out with me in places like that. I don't necessarily have to be the most beautiful woman there, or by any means the most important one. I just want to be there, & for Randy to be proud to have me there. For a long time, that has been missing. I used to think I looked too frumpy & it didn't matter. But now, I don't feel all that frumpy anymore & by golly, I want him to be proud to be with me. So stay tuned. We will see how this pans out.

Mom's hanging in there, not getting any better really (I am a medical professional. Please don't tell me she's not going to get better. I know how this works. I also know people who have lived with this disease for a long time.) but, considering all, it is nothing short of AMAZING that she has been able to work as long as she has in her job as a school cafeteria worker. I think she would've liked to have been off work more, but at the same time, she didn't WANT to quit. But the time has come that she needs to quit her job. Hopefully, this will allow her to use her strength to feel better, instead of to get by. It is a tough time for her.

Rachel's job situation isn't good. Her hours have been cut. I hate this because we go to church with her boss, and Sunday is Easter, of course, so we will have to see her. But losing my job, though it seemed like the end of the world, has opened new doors for me, and maybe this change will do the same for Rachel.

I thought about saying something crazy, like publicly asking the church to donate money for Rachel's trip to Costa Rica because she was getting her hours cut...but I have more class than that. I am not going to be mean. Like I said, it wasn't bad for me in the long run, so it might be good for Rachel too. Besides, we've just about got this trip paid for anyway.

Longtime Channel 4 news anchor Dan Miller died this week. He's been a fixture in Nashville news. He will be missed, especially by his family. I understand he was a great dad.

Well, that's enough for now, I guess.

Lifestyles of the not so rich and famous

Yes, I did steal that line for my blog.

I am having a good hair day! It's a good thing too because today I have my very first real on-my-own-outside-my-home-church gig. I am hoping for the best!

Unfortunately, the older I get the fewer good typing days I have. I used to be great! Now I misspell about half of what I type. Fortunately I am pretty good at spotting this and correcting it right away but I amaze myself at how many errors I make! For example: I have, in the 5 minutes I've been writing this, misspelled and corrected the words "hair," "best," and "fewer." I failed to capitalize "Now" and "I've." That is not a good record! (And for the record, since I stopped counting those other words, I misspelled record both times I typed it, as well as the word misspelled, and since and times.) I could do a lot of writing if I didn't have to do so much correcting!

Well, I have been fairly busy updating the websites lately. Jon Hager, from Hee Haw, passed away last week. The visitation is today in Nashville. I am not going. If it were any other day of the week, I probably would because I park about five blocks from that funeral home to go to work, but I'm off today & have my "gig" in the opposite direction! But my thoughts are with his family and friends and fans. I had a lot of fans & curious folks visiting my site this weekend.

I also took Rachel to Murfreesboro to audition for the Governor's School of the Arts on Saturday. She thought the audition went well, but of course she is sitting on pins and needles waiting to see if she gets in. It would be a great thing for her to get a scholarship if she does make it. Say a prayer!

Well, it is time to get ready to go do this. I am singing for some folks at a little nursing home near my home. It isn't a big gig but I am a little anxious about it. I think it will be good practice for me and I hope it is a blessing to them. Later!

You gotta have faith.

Well, I don't know if you've GOT to have faith, but it sure helps.

Am I the only one who does this? Surely not...anyway, here's what I've spent the last hour doing. This week, I would describe myself as finding new faith in my life. Does that sound strange? It doesn't to me, because back in the early 1990's when Randy & I were young newlyweds living in Madisonville, KY, we went to a church where the pastor, John Faircloth, used that line just about every week. When the invitation was extended, after inviting those who needed salvation, he would say, "or if you're finding new faith in your life..." So this week I've had that thought in my head a lot. I thought, I think I'm going to Google that pastor. So I did. And I spent an hour doing it. I found out a lot of things. From 2000 to 2006, he pastored in Champaign, IL. His older daughter, Liz, is a minister. I recall that he didn't really want her to be a minister, but he said, "It's not really my decision - it's God's decision & if that's what He wants her to do, I can't say no." His younger daughter is a photographer. His wife worked with the Red Cross in Madisonville, & Randy worked with her on projects from time to time. But where they are right now, I don't know. if you know, tell me. I'd like to say hello.

So, let me stop with the time-wasting search for a family on the 'Net. I have a lot of other stuff to do today, like wash dishes, clothes, shop, pick up the dog from the vet (I hope she's better!!!) & make yogurt. And I really want to sit here & do nothing except look for people online. But back to that first paragraph. I really have been finding new faith in my life this week. I hadn't been spending time in God's Word. I hadn't even been praying very much. I didn't feel that I couldn't pray - I know God knows what I need even more than I do, & I guess lately I've just had a hard time asking Him for anything. I knew something was missing, though. I couldn't grasp it by following anyone else's example. I had to turn back to God, read His Word, & ask for His peace. HE is good. He is faithful to answer our prayers. I have seen reminders of what I have to do: to focus on the good, to stay on the narrow path.

I think it is too easy to stray off the path. I've spent a lot of time worrying about the length of my hair or the type of shoes I should wear with skirts. Maybe God does care about those things, but I think more importantly He cares about US. To paraphrase I Cor. 13, if I wear the right clothing but I don't love others, then I am missing the point. If I put huge offerings in the plate but won't give my neighbor a loaf of bread, I'm missing the point. If I spend hours reading Christian websites but don't give my children my attention when they want to talk, then I'm definitely missing the point. I suppose the same could be said for writing about faith instead of washing the dishes for my family.

Sentimental lady

Well, I have also highlighted my hair again. (I am not in the mood for photos at the moment.) This brings me back to the short blonde look most people associate with the Marisa of the 80's. I only had "big hair" for about 18 months. I DID have the "pillow hair" where the top was fairly high & the back was shaved & tapered. Think Olivia Newton John around "Let's Get Physical" time. In fact, back in the day people told me I looked like her. Heh. Not anymore. Sigh. I always go back to the short blonde look. I don't know why - I guess because I always like the change back to it. I think it's an improvement. Randy does too.

But life is more than hair. I have great news! Mom's test results all came back negative. This, of course, does not explain why she felt so rotten a week or so ago, but it does mean that the ugly c word hasn't attacked her liver. Now she is feeling better, so for now, she is just planning to hold off on more testing. If her symptoms return, then we'll have to pursue more answers.

Thank you to all who prayed for Mom. I do believe prayer makes a big difference!

I am a little sentimental for the 70's, but I don't know why. I realize this is not news to most people, but I am going through a particularly rough patch of 70's Boogie Fever this spring.

I really don't have much to share right now but I did want to make the announcement that Mom is doing better & praise God, they didn't find cancer anywhere!

Later!!!

Word to your mother.

The boy has informed me that I am really lame because I have a blog where I write about myself. He thinks everything I do is lame. Unless he wants money or food or clothes or comfort. Then I can do no wrong.

Sometimes it really hurts to be a parent. Actually, the word that comes to mind (to substitute for hurts) begins with S and rhymes with ducks. At the moment I would like to run away screaming.

I got my hair cut today. Here are two photos.

Taking up space.

The boy says it's neither better nor worse. I agree. But, it will be easier to take care of & it won't be so hot.

No word from my mother yet.

Now I need to go change clothes & go do something equally lame (in his opinion) - garden. Later.

Here I go again...

The hair issue again.









Actually, I've come to a decision. I discussed this with the man of the house, who gave his honest opinion. He doesn't like it much the way it is. He prefers me with shorter, blonder hair. In the past we have discussed how short he likes it. I've outgrown the pixie. He's not a fan of the spikey do or bedhead. However, he likes what I call "the way a lot of women my age wear their hair" - fairly short in the front & flipped up in the back. My hair curls naturally when it's cut that way. So, I guess that's how it's gonna be. For those of you who don't know me, or haven't seen me in awhile, this hairstyle is basically what my hair looked like in the picture below. Right now, it's somewhat longer & . . . well, it's just not very pretty.



I realize some people will think it's just terrible for me to cut my hair. If they could really see my hair like it is now, they wouldn't feel that way. The picture up above on the right isn't very good; the lighting in here leaves a lot to be desired. Trust me, it is just not attractive in the least. I realize my goal isn't to be attractive to everyone else. However, I don't think my goal should be to become dog ugly to the rest of the world either. The main thing here is this: I should wear my hair the way my husband likes it. I think that's simple enough.


Hair length can be (and often is) debated. I have mentioned the 11th chapter of I Corinthians before. There's mention of women having long hair, shorn hair, headcoverings, and having a sign of authority. Headcoverings and hair length and cultural norms and customs can all be debated. But a married woman being submissive to her husband isn't really up for debate. (No, I don't think women ought to stay with abusive husbands. Husbands really shouldn't be abusing their wives.) There are just a few verses about hair. There are a lot more verses about the relationships between husbands & wives. So...the hair is gonna go. But only part of the way.