It's all right now, Heaven should be proud

Nervous.

Just like when I was 18.

And it took about 45 minutes to get up the nerve to go up and talk to them. But I did, and now I’ll tell you about it.

Some stories develop a life all their own. Maybe it's a writer thing or an OCD thing, but some events in life turn into more than you expected. Sometimes one plus one equals more than two. Like when I sat watching CMT while Derek was in surgery, and saw a one-time promo video with Buck Owens and his “right-hand man,” and my mission became learning about this Don Rich guy, and… here I am 22 years later, still writing about Hee Haw.

So it is with today's blog entry.

While subbing at a high school in August 2015, I saw class composite pictures dating back to the 1960s. I recognized two brothers, Robert and Michael (not their real names) in the class of 1982 from their jobs in the college bookstore.  Robert frequented the Placement Office, my work-study job. I submitted his resume’ for every potentially fitting job, because even at age 18, I recognized that he was a good worker. I also thought he was gorgeous.

My first year of college, my boyfriend Donnie lived 35 miles away.  (Again, all names have been changed to protect the innocent… and the guilty.) Our romance the summer after graduation was fun and intense.  After college began and football season ended, things got weird.  This guy who’d proposed in my driveway and wanted me home every weekend suddenly stopped inviting me to family dinners. Donnie’s perfect date was semi-pro wrestling. That was fun at first, but got old quick. I wanted him to visit me, like other girls’ boyfriends.  My roommate left every weekend, so we would've had the dorm all to ourselves, but he didn't want to “make that drive.” He preferred my grandparents' house while they wintered in Florida, or his neighbor's shack, where we could hang out on their waterbed.

I was miserable, but I felt committed to Donnie.  In high school, I embarrassed myself by throwing myself at boys I liked. At least with Donnie, I didn’t have to be rejected by anyone else. I thought I should be satisfied. In general, he wasn’t a bad person. He went to church (but never mine, only his mama's), and didn’t drink or do drugs, but, as he even admitted to me years later, he was immature. Honestly, I wasn't much better.  I said all that to say that if I ever thought about taking a chance with Robert (and I did, quite often), I didn't act on it because I felt obligated to Donnie. 

Eventually, he got tired of pretending he wanted to be married, and decided we should take a break. I don’t think I ever cried. I was tired of playing the game too. It was a little too late for me to get to know Robert, as he was about to graduate.  My life got exponentially better though, and fast.  Within a year, I was dating "the rock star." Donnie wanted me back later, but I was done.

But enough about my history.

That day I subbed and saw the composite pic, I wondered what had happened to Robert, and to a lesser extent, Michael. Did they live close by? Did they have children at the school? So when I got home, I did what everybody does in 2017, or at the time, 2015, I Googled them. I saw Robert still had the job I almost kept him from getting.  But more on that later. Neither one married.

I found their names in the obit for their father, who left several siblings, his wife, Edith, 10 sons, and four daughters. That’s right, 14 kids.  I looked for an obituary for Edith. There wasn’t one, but I found the 1975 Tennessean article spotlighting this amazing family who built a beautiful home on a farm and made it work. My imagination whirled: what a life story! I wanted to interview this woman who grew up in Indiana during the Depression, became a “WAC” when it wasn’t all that common for a woman to do so, married someone she met at the end of the war, moved to his home state and contributed to the baby boom - in a big way. But these days, if someone walked up to my door and wanted to talk about my life story and maybe publish an article about me, I'd probably leave them on the porch, so I never approached any of them. 

The 1975 article grazed over the deaths of two additional children; being a morbidly curious nut, I learned that the first, a girl, died shortly after birth, and the third, a boy, at around age 6. Another died in his 40s, leaving nine sons and four daughters to survive Edith, who died this past Sunday of pneumonia.  I have a morbid habit of looking at funeral home websites and newspaper obituaries. I don’t do it every day, but several times a week.  I’ve said before that good Southerners look at the obituaries to find out who they need to visit and bring a casserole.

Today I got to meet several of them.  I sat in the back of the chapel for a long time, observing. Nervous, like I was still 18.  Finally, I got up and walked to the front, where I told Robert my story about wanting to meet his mother. I conveniently left out the part about often wishing I had taken a chance and flirted with him back in the day.  That, too, is a story for another time. I believe I've shared enough of it today.

I also shared my story with Michael, two sisters, and another brother. I told them all my regrets at not getting to meet her. I don’t think I sounded too creepy. If you’re honest, and sincerely show interest in people, they realize you aren't out to hurt them.  I try to be charming too. Hahaha… I realize not everyone has honest motives, and some people use their charm with very impure motives, but that’s not me.  I met two more brothers before I left.  Sweet folks. I may tell more of this woman's story in another blog entry. She lived a long, full life. She was a veteran. She was a super mom – didn’t have a job outside the home but successfully raising all those children and running a farm with her husband - she was an inspiration to me, and I didn't even know her.

I don’t know if this is a nationwide thing, but in the South, funeral homes hand out little folded papers with a picture of the deceased, dates and places of birth and death, surviving family members, etc.  Inside Edith’s, Proverbs 31:10-31 was printed.  I believe it described her well.  You should look it up, but here are a few verses:

^10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Just sing, sing a song

This month is just about over. It has been quite surreal.

Today's title came from FlyLady. The song got stuck in my head.

This month, I have received two of those phone calls everyone dreads, both with happy outcomes. The one where you see your child's number on the caller ID, and a deputy talks when you say, "Hello." This same deputy escorted this child home from a sleepover gone awry, one where kids I didn't know were part of the party went out vandalizing and took my son, who sat on the side of the road and watched. Then there's the one where your little girl is crying and saying, "Mom, I didn't mean to..." five minutes after the car left the house with her and her little brother in it. All the questions follow: "Did you wreck? Are you hurt? Did you hit another car?" It was a minor fender-bender. Well, heck, it didn't even bend any fenders, just got a lot of dirt stuck to the wheel wells. Happy endings.

This month, I have sung in two nursing homes, both with happy outcomes. I am scheduled to sing in two more, and one of the first ones again. I'm also scheduled to sing in two churches other than my own this month. I am nervous, and scared, yet excited beyond my ability to communicate. I suppose I am living the dream. In that respect, my life is going great. I'm not overwhelmed with bookings and opportunities, but they're out there, & I'm getting there.

I created a website for my budding gospel music career. I think I've had 100 visitors. One was a man in Washington who wants me to send him a video for his TV show. I need to work on that soon.

I got a Facebook account. I have over 100 friends so far. I know a lot of people.

We got a settlement from the accident in October, which we were not expecting (well, we weren't until about two weeks ago). This was a good thing.

Mom's doctor decided to investigate the headaches she started having between Christmas and New Year's, and found that the abnormality seen on the PET scan in the fall that he originally thought benign because of her blood work wasn't really benign after all, and had spread to multiple areas.

That was a bad, bad day. That was two weeks ago. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach, like my legs were going out from under me. I had to lie down on one of the stretchers in one of the stress rooms to get the rest of the information from my brother.

I was doing a pretty good job of updating the Hee Haw page until that happened. Now I just don't really care again, for which I am genuinely sorry, but not sorry enough to get back to the pages yet. Maybe soon.

Rachel learned today that she didn't get into Governor's School. Now she wants to go to Costa Rica again. She is already going in March. I don't know about her going in June. I do know that her brother can't go with her. I can't afford for him to go too AND go to Philadelphia for the 8th grade trip. Maybe next year.

We have had snow and ice, not as much ice as our neighbors just north of us who had ice and no power for days. The snow hung around until this morning. There might even be a little here & there waiting for the next one to show up Monday.

I saw my son get awards for scoring high on a pre-ACT type test & for participating on the wrestling team, I sang at church three times, one solo, once with Randy, & once with Rachel. I saw Gold City in Erin, I worked out a few times, we celebrated Mom's 60th birthday & I decided to go back to chorus this semester.

I worked a lot of hours, probably mostly because we've had someone out almost all month. She worked 4 days all month, I think. Maybe 3. Work is still going, thank God. It's tight there like everywhere else, but I feel OK about it. Just tired.

No wonder I am tired. I have had several months' worth of excitement.

I hope this whirlwind isn't indicative of what's to come the rest of the year. I have a feeling it is just the beginning of the storm.

Singing as I go

Life has been busy, as usual. Maybe more than usual.

Wrestling season is in full force & that's kept us occupied. Here's a link to our local paper, which mentions Derek in the Nov. 24 edition on page 12. (It's actually page 17 but each 2 pages are in one PDF.) That's not Derek in the picture! He is still learning the moves. When he has lost matches, it's been because he really didn't know how to get out of them! He has come a long way, though. I'm proud of him.

One night he had four matches within an hour. He lost them all. That was hard on him. It was hard on his mama too.

Though Rachel's activities haven't taken as much of my time, I've enjoyed watching her perform at the choir's Veterans' Day concert & the school's talent show. She is working a lot & always on the go.

Thanksgiving is upon us & we are thankful for a lot of things. Mom & Granddaddy are doing fairly well. Randy's still with us & still walking on both feet after this year of leg problems & car accidents. The kids are doing great. My job is going all right & my health is better than usual. (And, usually, it's pretty good!) There's a lot of trouble & trials in the world, but there's a bright & a sunny side of life too.

I feel like all the parts of my life are full & rich right now, even though I do seem to have a difficult time working in enough physical activity. That's a project for another day. I try to fit in plenty of time to be artistic, whether it's writing or singing or another form.

As for writing, I am trying to figure out how to use speech recognition so I can dictate stories while I drive to work. I really haven't done as much writing as I should lately.

I definitely work in time for music. I've been fooling with the guitar and the autoharp, preparing for the cantata with the choir, & hoping to do some recording very soon. I would really like to have some kind of "sampler" to give to people. I would like to sing Southern Gospel in some other churches or maybe at nursing homes. I've had two sermons & a sign I pass every day all telling me I need to go forward with this. But I also have the desire to sing more classical music. I miss having some kind of "class" experience where I learn skills to get better. I got a little tired of that, but I miss it now that it's not there. Because of that, I'm also planning to audition for the Vanderbilt Community Chorus again. I auditioned last year & didn't make it, probably because they had too many women singers & not enough men. This year they have a new director.

I liked singing in the Music City Community Chorus & Renee, the director, is great, but it did not work so well with my schedule. The Vanderbilt chorus rehearses on the night prior to my regularly scheduled day off. I don't have to drive so far to get there (I really don't have to drive any extra at all) & I don't have to work the next day! They also don't have weekend sectionals, which were hard for me to make because I live so far out. I'm glad I got out when I did this semester, because I don't think I'd be doing so well fitting 1-2 chorus rehearsals in with two wrestling matches & two church choir practices every week.

As for other art, I'm doing a lot of cross-stitching at these wrestling matches. They are rather long events. The regular matches take about 4 to 5 hours from start to finish. Tournaments are all day events. Saturday we got to Harpeth at 7 a.m. & got home about 4:30. And we were some of the early ones to leave! I like to watch, but it's also nice to have time to cross-stitch. I was glad to have a whole day to do it, but my butt was about sick of those bleachers.

Well, I am late getting to bed. I have a big week ahead.

As promised, here is what I've been up to.

In my last post I promised to do less editorializing & more reporting of my life's events. So here I am!

On Wednesday we bought the replacement truck for Randy. It's new to us, but not brand new. It's a fire-engine red Ford Explorer Sport Track. It's sharp, & he really likes it, which is the most important thing, I guess.

Last night I went to Derek's first wrestling match. They actually wrestled against two teams so it was a long night. Derek did not win either of his matches but you have to start somewhere. His first match went quickly but he fought a little harder on the second & showed a little more skill.

Physical activity is something our family hasn't been really into until the last year. I can't say we're all more active than we used to be. Derek has really taken the bull by the horns, though, as he chose to play football this past spring & fall & now has gone into wrestling to keep himself conditioned. He has lost a little weight, but mostly went from stocky to slim & trim by growing up seven inches in two years. He is much more active than he used to be, too. He still eats us out of house & home, but that is an expense I am glad to bear right now.

After being sick a couple weeks ago, I am ready to get back on track with my fitness program. I was working out 6-10 hours a week a couple of months ago, but things happen to get you off track. So, I'm ready to start again. I think this evening I'll try to do something, either go to the Y or pop in a dance tape or something. Then tomorrow before I go to Bowling Green for the educational meeting, I'll do Tae Bo with my tape. I'm excited!