A couple years ago, I subscribed to Newspapers.com, which is really entertaining and wonderful for a trivia and history buff such as myself. Maybe we aren't supposed to remember all the people who died in the past, but there were lots of characters who have gotten lost in all the information out there these days. I wrote about some of them back in March and there are many others I could write about.
So, starting today (this is post 1 of 2 today), my blog is getting a new life. It's slow time at work now, the time of year when I have to look for work to get enough to pay the bills. Off the clock, my life is changing slowly, but changing none the less, and it may result in my having more time to devote to my already-existing side jobs of CPR instruction and writing non-fiction with a few fictional stories here and there.
Our 26-year-old daughter is moving home at some point in the next few months, and as I'm cleaning out our son's old bedroom to let her bring in her stuff, I'm moving things around and getting rid of things that mean nothing to me. There's plenty of that. I'm a packrat, not really to hoarder status because I have paths through all the rooms (LOL) but... just getting rid of things that I'm not attached to is working pretty well for now. A new storage unit business has been opened just down the road from us, and after the "bug man" comes, I'm going to rent one for her extra stuff and my CPR business storage. Since it's right down the road, it'll be easy to grab things as I go, kind of like I do from my garage now. But when the garage gets cleaned out... that'll give us more room too.
When we moved in here, we never dreamed we'd still be here 25 years later. Heck, we only had one baby and she was a toddler! We didn't even know there'd be a boy joining us in about 18 months! Things have changed a lot, mostly in the amount of crap we've managed to cram into this place. It became too small the day I moved the crib into the "storage room" so that boy would have a room of his own. I was never a great housekeeper, but when we got a dog who destroyed carpet and furniture, I was overwhelmed. I got depressed. Then we got computers that opened us up to all kinds of information and entertainment, so I became an even worse housekeeper. The kids weren't much help. We got more animals, then gradually they died out. By this time I wasn't working 40 hours a week or driving and working, I was teaching and driving so I never had any free time whatsoever to work on the house. When I went back to nucs and the kids were in college or on their own, I was physically just barely able to work and function, and I was scared of mice coming out of cabinets and closets that needed cleaning. I got two more cats, but physically I'm still not doing that great. I'm gradually getting better by making some changes that I won't go into here, but I'm looking forward to having more energy and if I can get the house cleaned up a little more (and I am getting there), writing will be easier because I won't feel like I should be doing something else instead!
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Friday, August 17, 2018
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
One of these nights...
One of these nights I'm gonna write something absolutely amazing and powerful and I'm really looking forward to it.
So far, I haven't figured out what that is, exactly... but I'm okay with that. I'll keep on writing until I do.
I'd love to write more, and really, I DO write more than I post on this blog because I prefer not to just throw everything I think onto a blog like a diary for everyone in the universe to read. I work a lot, and I love what I do 99.44% of the time but I would love to have more time to write. I spend too much time trying to make money. Well, I might as well while I'm able and my kids aren't little anymore so that I can retire before I die. I tell people I write every chance I get but it's really not true. If it were true, I'd have a lot more material to read. I have many, many stories in my head that I really should put into writing, because I know I'm not going to live forever (at least not in this realm, and I'm not sure how much of my brain will make it through the life I'm living now) and I don't want the stories and characters to die with me. After I'm gone my kids can pass this stuff on to other people, or just give them away, but hopefully, I'll get some of them out into the world and let the universe decide whether they're worth keeping.
There were also people who once walked this earth and not just through my brain whose stories shouldn't be forgotten either. Those who passed after about 2005 will have more information about them on the Internet for future generations than those who passed before that, and there are stories in the old newspapers and databases for those who wish to look for those folks. Still there are people who lived quiet and simple lives, whose stories weren't compelling Nicholas Sparks novel fodder (or even Lifetime movie fodder), who've left serious marks on the manuscript of my own life. My grandmother was one... one of her father's seventeen children as well as one of her mother's eleven. Her oldest sister Lorene was evidently unable to bear children of her own, but I never, ever heard her complain about that, or talk about it at all. I never asked her why she didn't have children, maybe because I was afraid to bring it up. Her husband had lost two children in the Christmas Eve crash that claimed his first wife and left him with only his son. Maybe she figured it might've been better to have had no children at all. His son gave her four step-grandchildren that she dearly loved in her own quiet way. She wasn't the kind of grandmother who took the kids to Opryland (actually they didn't have that on either side, but all their grandparents cared for them very much) but she baked them goodies and visited them and kept an eye on them and probably went to graduations and things like that, I don't remember. She also kept a lot of other relatives, like me.
She, like Granny, had a portrait of a handsome young man I never had the privilege to know, my uncle Olie. His death at age 18 was one of those events you see in movies, where a local teenager gets really sick (or has an accident or gets shot or... you get the picture) and dies young and the whole town shuts down for the funeral. But before I knew all that about the town's reaction, I knew that my grandmother and all her family lost a dear brother, son, grandson, and uncle. I guess because he didn't live long enough to have children and grandchildren of his own, I felt sort of obligated to keep his memory alive. I think others in my family might've felt that way too. For example, my uncle Lanny put a new headstone on Olie's grave. Lanny was just a little fella when Olie died; I think he was about 3.
These are just a few of the stories I'd like to share, as well as some of the fictional characters I've created over the years. Some of my characters are loosely based on real people and real events, but in general most are purely made up. Here's an example of that: I used to wonder what it would've been like if Lorene and her first husband had adopted a child, or had a baby late in life. Everette was only in his early 40s when he died, so he would've died very early in this baby's life. I came up with a lot of good stories and characters from that "what if" story. Many of my stories are "what ifs" or at least they start out that way. I do a lot of research into the past to find details and ideas. Like looking at Olie's death certificate and obituary.
I need to be looking at the inside of my eyelids. Gotta go make that money while it's there.
So far, I haven't figured out what that is, exactly... but I'm okay with that. I'll keep on writing until I do.
I'd love to write more, and really, I DO write more than I post on this blog because I prefer not to just throw everything I think onto a blog like a diary for everyone in the universe to read. I work a lot, and I love what I do 99.44% of the time but I would love to have more time to write. I spend too much time trying to make money. Well, I might as well while I'm able and my kids aren't little anymore so that I can retire before I die. I tell people I write every chance I get but it's really not true. If it were true, I'd have a lot more material to read. I have many, many stories in my head that I really should put into writing, because I know I'm not going to live forever (at least not in this realm, and I'm not sure how much of my brain will make it through the life I'm living now) and I don't want the stories and characters to die with me. After I'm gone my kids can pass this stuff on to other people, or just give them away, but hopefully, I'll get some of them out into the world and let the universe decide whether they're worth keeping.
There were also people who once walked this earth and not just through my brain whose stories shouldn't be forgotten either. Those who passed after about 2005 will have more information about them on the Internet for future generations than those who passed before that, and there are stories in the old newspapers and databases for those who wish to look for those folks. Still there are people who lived quiet and simple lives, whose stories weren't compelling Nicholas Sparks novel fodder (or even Lifetime movie fodder), who've left serious marks on the manuscript of my own life. My grandmother was one... one of her father's seventeen children as well as one of her mother's eleven. Her oldest sister Lorene was evidently unable to bear children of her own, but I never, ever heard her complain about that, or talk about it at all. I never asked her why she didn't have children, maybe because I was afraid to bring it up. Her husband had lost two children in the Christmas Eve crash that claimed his first wife and left him with only his son. Maybe she figured it might've been better to have had no children at all. His son gave her four step-grandchildren that she dearly loved in her own quiet way. She wasn't the kind of grandmother who took the kids to Opryland (actually they didn't have that on either side, but all their grandparents cared for them very much) but she baked them goodies and visited them and kept an eye on them and probably went to graduations and things like that, I don't remember. She also kept a lot of other relatives, like me.
She, like Granny, had a portrait of a handsome young man I never had the privilege to know, my uncle Olie. His death at age 18 was one of those events you see in movies, where a local teenager gets really sick (or has an accident or gets shot or... you get the picture) and dies young and the whole town shuts down for the funeral. But before I knew all that about the town's reaction, I knew that my grandmother and all her family lost a dear brother, son, grandson, and uncle. I guess because he didn't live long enough to have children and grandchildren of his own, I felt sort of obligated to keep his memory alive. I think others in my family might've felt that way too. For example, my uncle Lanny put a new headstone on Olie's grave. Lanny was just a little fella when Olie died; I think he was about 3.
These are just a few of the stories I'd like to share, as well as some of the fictional characters I've created over the years. Some of my characters are loosely based on real people and real events, but in general most are purely made up. Here's an example of that: I used to wonder what it would've been like if Lorene and her first husband had adopted a child, or had a baby late in life. Everette was only in his early 40s when he died, so he would've died very early in this baby's life. I came up with a lot of good stories and characters from that "what if" story. Many of my stories are "what ifs" or at least they start out that way. I do a lot of research into the past to find details and ideas. Like looking at Olie's death certificate and obituary.
I need to be looking at the inside of my eyelids. Gotta go make that money while it's there.
Sunday, January 21, 2018
Let me tell ya that it... HURTS SO BAD
I've written about my health and constant, chronic pain before. Today, it is reaching new heights. I slept about 3 hours, then I woke up to go to the bathroom and then I was hitting that period of the morning where different alarms go off every so often, my attempt at keeping my body waking up at around 5 AM when I go back to work tomorrow. So I was in serious pain when it was time to get ready for church, and I decided not to go. I didn't really want to miss church, but I sure didn't want to stand in the choir loft (or in the congregation) or sit in the pews while my feet were aching like sore teeth.
If you want to think I'm Miss Cheerful and never complain about anything... stop reading now, because it's gonna get hateful in here. I hate dealing with chronic pain. When I was in 3rd grade, I got to know a girl who was diabetic and I wanted to learn all about her. I was a little jealous because she had a mid-morning break when she went to the teachers' lounge and my suspicion was that she had a snack (I was usually hungry before lunch so this seemed positive) and had to test her sugar... which was all by urine at the time, no sticking. I thought it was a built-in diet trick to always drink diet sodas, I thought that would keep her from being a fat adult. (It didn't. She's not huge, but has never been thin.) That was very important to me at the time. She did have to get insulin shots, but they didn't seem to bother her like shots bothered me. I thought, the worst thing that can happen is that old people with diabetes sometimes lost toes, and I wasn't sure why that happened, but her 11-year-old toes seemed to be in decent shape. I also thought if shots were the worst thing... well, let me assure you, they are not.
The neuropathy started sometime around November, 2008. I'd been diabetic for at least 2 years before that, and it wasn't too long after my diagnosis. I was insulin resistant for many years, since at least 1985 and probably a few years before. I thought it was just a genetic thing, most of my mom's family dealt with it. I didn't realize what that was doing to my body, and I didn't realize that the way I ate was making it worse. I had gestational diabetes in my first pregnancy, and though I didn't the second time, I did have a nine pound baby that time - both risk factors for developing diabetes later in life. Even that didn't scare me. I thought because I had low blood sugar that I wouldn't become diabetic, just like I couldn't starve myself because my sugar would dip too low. Honestly, if my blood sugars hadn't been so wild, I probably would've been anorexic because food was always the enemy. But I'd let them drop too low and then stuff some carbs down to get me through. Carbs couldn't be too bad, right? After all, they were low in fat and fat was the problem, right? I ate more complex carbs, like pasta and potatoes, because they weren't simple sugars like candy that would run through me quickly. I began to realize that I could eat sugars IF i ate something with protein first, so I did.
When I was diagnosed, I thought if I took my meds, I could still eat what I wanted, within limits. I didn't really want as much sweet stuff, but I did still like it. I thought I would never be able to cut carbs out completely, and I was eating so much less sugar than I used to, but eventually, they had to stop one of my medicines because of the liver function tests going haywire, so I just gave up and threw all caution to the wind. For a year or so I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. Eventually I did attempt to cut out carbs, and I'm still pretty good at that, but I do eat some. Like I had a hot dog, and instead of carb-laden side dishes, I had - sit down - a BUN! Oops. Flag on the play. The touchdown will not count.
I've been thoroughly disappointed with the inability of modern medicine to cure my pain. Doctors say, "You've got to have better control of your sugar." I'm like, it's 3:00 pm and all I've had all day was a protein shake that says it contains 25 carbs. How could my sugars be high because of that? So why are they hurting? Well, lots of things can make them hurt... but only keeping my sugars low is the only relief I can get???
I would try medical marijuana, but I live in a non-legal state. I'm told my state representatives share the Attorney General's belief that marijuana leads to harder drugs. I went to college. I tried "weed" back in the day. I never did any stronger drugs, and I was offered cocaine more than once. For the record, I didn't try marijuana the first few times it was offered either. I guess I did do "harder" drugs at times... I had morphine after surgery. Once in awhile I'd have a prescription for an opiate, when I had broken bones and migraines and toothaches. The medicine would help with whatever pain I was in at the time, but that wasn't because I smoked pot in college. I could understand how people got hooked on opiates, because after surgery, it was a little scary to think about the pain without the drugs, but I was able to go longer and longer without them and substitute Tylenol for doses during the day until I could easily wean off the "hard stuff." Nowadays I can't even get the doctors to write me a prescription for pain medicine, because it's taboo to prescribe opioids. Oh, and by the way, I live in the number one opiate-prescribing state according to this study. Not surprising, considering we are a long way from a medically-legal marijuana state. I think in a few years our neighbor Arkansas will have it. That's only three hours from me... certainly not convenient for moving. Oh, if Kentucky would allow it, I'd probably move the 13 miles due north for that.
So i am left to my own devices to drown out the pain. I'm gonna try turmeric. Hell, what do I have to lose? I go to bed terrified of what the next day is going to bring. I have no guarantee that a night's sleep will allow me to wake up feeling energetic and pain-free. (Occasionally, it happens.) If I have to work, will I be miserable all day? Maybe I'll have a good day and it'll feel better. But after I stand a lot, what will my night be like? If I can't sleep, I'm guaranteed a day of intense pain. I have to check all the boxes: a good night of rest, all medications taken on time, all meals at the correct time (which doesn't happen often in my work), no carbs (even on Christmas! Diabetes doesn't take a holiday), a good balance of sitting and standing and walking (something else I can't always control in my job). Now, who among us can check all those boxes every.single.day? Maybe I am a loser because I screw up on that list on a pretty regular basis. Then there are the matters none of us can control, such as weather. Did we get a cold front? Count on extra pain. Rain? Probably. But it's the way I eat that's the problem. RIGHT. Too cold in the room? Better cover those feet, but socks are usually too tight, exacerbating the pain.
It's a vicious cycle. Sleep late and take meds late? Ouch. Work to make money and, let's face it, to keep me on my feet... and pay for it later with sleepless nights. It's driving me insane. I've tried B-6, B-12, biotin, evening primrose oil, alpha-lipoic acid, multi-vitamins, Metanx, and using a TENS unit... ice, heating pad, more water, liquor, prayer (begging), and acupuncture. While the latter can be helpful, it can also be useless. I've experienced more movement after a treatment, but also experienced more pain after one too.
If I get a lot of negative comments on today's post, I'll just shut down the comments on it. So, if you have a suggestion (like the many who say, just eat less, just exercise more... ha, let me put you into my day and see how YOU do), let your words be nice and sweet, for later they may be words you'll have to eat.
If you want to think I'm Miss Cheerful and never complain about anything... stop reading now, because it's gonna get hateful in here. I hate dealing with chronic pain. When I was in 3rd grade, I got to know a girl who was diabetic and I wanted to learn all about her. I was a little jealous because she had a mid-morning break when she went to the teachers' lounge and my suspicion was that she had a snack (I was usually hungry before lunch so this seemed positive) and had to test her sugar... which was all by urine at the time, no sticking. I thought it was a built-in diet trick to always drink diet sodas, I thought that would keep her from being a fat adult. (It didn't. She's not huge, but has never been thin.) That was very important to me at the time. She did have to get insulin shots, but they didn't seem to bother her like shots bothered me. I thought, the worst thing that can happen is that old people with diabetes sometimes lost toes, and I wasn't sure why that happened, but her 11-year-old toes seemed to be in decent shape. I also thought if shots were the worst thing... well, let me assure you, they are not.
The neuropathy started sometime around November, 2008. I'd been diabetic for at least 2 years before that, and it wasn't too long after my diagnosis. I was insulin resistant for many years, since at least 1985 and probably a few years before. I thought it was just a genetic thing, most of my mom's family dealt with it. I didn't realize what that was doing to my body, and I didn't realize that the way I ate was making it worse. I had gestational diabetes in my first pregnancy, and though I didn't the second time, I did have a nine pound baby that time - both risk factors for developing diabetes later in life. Even that didn't scare me. I thought because I had low blood sugar that I wouldn't become diabetic, just like I couldn't starve myself because my sugar would dip too low. Honestly, if my blood sugars hadn't been so wild, I probably would've been anorexic because food was always the enemy. But I'd let them drop too low and then stuff some carbs down to get me through. Carbs couldn't be too bad, right? After all, they were low in fat and fat was the problem, right? I ate more complex carbs, like pasta and potatoes, because they weren't simple sugars like candy that would run through me quickly. I began to realize that I could eat sugars IF i ate something with protein first, so I did.
When I was diagnosed, I thought if I took my meds, I could still eat what I wanted, within limits. I didn't really want as much sweet stuff, but I did still like it. I thought I would never be able to cut carbs out completely, and I was eating so much less sugar than I used to, but eventually, they had to stop one of my medicines because of the liver function tests going haywire, so I just gave up and threw all caution to the wind. For a year or so I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. Eventually I did attempt to cut out carbs, and I'm still pretty good at that, but I do eat some. Like I had a hot dog, and instead of carb-laden side dishes, I had - sit down - a BUN! Oops. Flag on the play. The touchdown will not count.
I've been thoroughly disappointed with the inability of modern medicine to cure my pain. Doctors say, "You've got to have better control of your sugar." I'm like, it's 3:00 pm and all I've had all day was a protein shake that says it contains 25 carbs. How could my sugars be high because of that? So why are they hurting? Well, lots of things can make them hurt... but only keeping my sugars low is the only relief I can get???
I would try medical marijuana, but I live in a non-legal state. I'm told my state representatives share the Attorney General's belief that marijuana leads to harder drugs. I went to college. I tried "weed" back in the day. I never did any stronger drugs, and I was offered cocaine more than once. For the record, I didn't try marijuana the first few times it was offered either. I guess I did do "harder" drugs at times... I had morphine after surgery. Once in awhile I'd have a prescription for an opiate, when I had broken bones and migraines and toothaches. The medicine would help with whatever pain I was in at the time, but that wasn't because I smoked pot in college. I could understand how people got hooked on opiates, because after surgery, it was a little scary to think about the pain without the drugs, but I was able to go longer and longer without them and substitute Tylenol for doses during the day until I could easily wean off the "hard stuff." Nowadays I can't even get the doctors to write me a prescription for pain medicine, because it's taboo to prescribe opioids. Oh, and by the way, I live in the number one opiate-prescribing state according to this study. Not surprising, considering we are a long way from a medically-legal marijuana state. I think in a few years our neighbor Arkansas will have it. That's only three hours from me... certainly not convenient for moving. Oh, if Kentucky would allow it, I'd probably move the 13 miles due north for that.
So i am left to my own devices to drown out the pain. I'm gonna try turmeric. Hell, what do I have to lose? I go to bed terrified of what the next day is going to bring. I have no guarantee that a night's sleep will allow me to wake up feeling energetic and pain-free. (Occasionally, it happens.) If I have to work, will I be miserable all day? Maybe I'll have a good day and it'll feel better. But after I stand a lot, what will my night be like? If I can't sleep, I'm guaranteed a day of intense pain. I have to check all the boxes: a good night of rest, all medications taken on time, all meals at the correct time (which doesn't happen often in my work), no carbs (even on Christmas! Diabetes doesn't take a holiday), a good balance of sitting and standing and walking (something else I can't always control in my job). Now, who among us can check all those boxes every.single.day? Maybe I am a loser because I screw up on that list on a pretty regular basis. Then there are the matters none of us can control, such as weather. Did we get a cold front? Count on extra pain. Rain? Probably. But it's the way I eat that's the problem. RIGHT. Too cold in the room? Better cover those feet, but socks are usually too tight, exacerbating the pain.
It's a vicious cycle. Sleep late and take meds late? Ouch. Work to make money and, let's face it, to keep me on my feet... and pay for it later with sleepless nights. It's driving me insane. I've tried B-6, B-12, biotin, evening primrose oil, alpha-lipoic acid, multi-vitamins, Metanx, and using a TENS unit... ice, heating pad, more water, liquor, prayer (begging), and acupuncture. While the latter can be helpful, it can also be useless. I've experienced more movement after a treatment, but also experienced more pain after one too.
If I get a lot of negative comments on today's post, I'll just shut down the comments on it. So, if you have a suggestion (like the many who say, just eat less, just exercise more... ha, let me put you into my day and see how YOU do), let your words be nice and sweet, for later they may be words you'll have to eat.
Thursday, June 01, 2017
It's Only Make-Believe
So I'm watching CNN and I think, what if there was a parody character called "Kellyanne Conway Twitty"??? And of course, I am not the first to think of this... I'm not sure who was, but Seth MacFarlane, for one, beat me to the punch.
Ah, Seth MacFarlane... I have mixed feelings about him... he is drop-dead gorgeous and insanely talented, but his sense of humor is no smarter than a fifth-grader. A precocious fifth-grader, but... anyway, great minds think alike, eh??? ;D
Seth either loves or loves to rag on ol' Conway. Like all Southern white kids in the 70s, I was exposed to regular doses of Conway Twitty. We watched all those GREAT country music TV shows every Saturday afternoon (as my Granny used to say about watching Andy Griffith) BECAUSE WE HAD TO. Now, I really love to wax nostalgic about the old country shows and seriously, they played a YUGE part in making me the music lover I am today. The TV alternatives were limited. Today's youngsters can not begin to imagine three or four channels. Even the "big three" have local networks!
I don't remember just three channels. I don't remember a time before PBS. I'm not sure when public TV came to Nashville, but I do remember seeing "Sesame Street" mentioned on another show, before I had discovered the Muppets. That was the first time I ever saw that my mom tried to hide things from me. She did not want me to start watching "Sesame Street" because she foresaw exactly what happened. She knew I'd get hooked. She didn't want to have to watch silly puppets!
If she were here, I would ask her if she really thought Gilligan was any better.
But back to Conway Twitty. I DID discover him when I was young, like age four, but that's when he looked like this (from "Hee Haw," by the way, and also used by Seth MacFarlane on "Family Guy"):
If I'd discovered him when he looked like he did in this next clip, I probably would have thought he was hot, like my aunt Peggy and a lot of other women who were young in the 1960s and 70s did. OMG. When Conway died on June 5, 1993, Peggy and one of her friends stayed up late, drinking adult beverages, crying and listening to his music, probably on vinyl... possibly on cassette... maybe, but probably not, on 8-track... and maybe on a CD... not everyone had a player then but they were gaining popularity. I understood that SHE liked him and I could understand, kind of, because I figured she was about 50 and he was probably about 50 and he sang all those sexy songs and had kind of a cool voice, but I didn't think he was HOT. But in this clip below, he was kind of cute, and that song is freakin' amazing:
Here is another phenomenal clip of the same song... I did not know this show existed. As performances go, it's not the best Conway ever did (although it might explain why he didn't dance much once color TV footage began), but it's a piece of broadcasting history for Dick Clark's intro alone. Conway looked very uncomfortable and staged, and had to be lip-synching (I just don't think there was any other way back then) but wow! What a lucky break for an Arkansas boy to share a TV audience with Fabian!
It's only make-believe... just like he's making believe he is singing... I have a real-life, not make-believe, Conway Twitty story. When I was 12, I ran into him - I mean, I literally ran.into.him - in a bowling alley in Hendersonville, TN. He was polite, maybe a little annoyed, but polite. Later I saw him playing in the 11th Frame Lounge, adjoining the bowling alley, just through the door. I didn't go in. That would've been a riot. I was there with my church youth group. He didn't look it in black-and-white, but he was in his mid-20s by the time he made it to Dick Clark's Beech-Nut Show. That makes me feel better. I think it's kind of creepy for an old woman to think such a young man would be attractive! But my daughter will be 25 this summer - NEXT MONTH! - so I guess that's why Conway looks like a kid in those video clips.
I have always had a great sense of imagination. I'm glad that it has grown up along with me, but I am really sorry that I haven't written everything I've dreamt up over the years. I created characters based on people I knew but mostly based on "what if" scenarios I dreamed up about them. I have a lot of these stories but now, I don't have nearly enough time to write about them. I'm trying, though. I'm busy in my "real job" but I have a lot more time than I let myself believe. I like writing non-fiction as well as fiction.. or maybe I should say, real life as much as make-believe. I'm blessed to have great memories and imagination for both.
Ah, Seth MacFarlane... I have mixed feelings about him... he is drop-dead gorgeous and insanely talented, but his sense of humor is no smarter than a fifth-grader. A precocious fifth-grader, but... anyway, great minds think alike, eh??? ;D
Seth either loves or loves to rag on ol' Conway. Like all Southern white kids in the 70s, I was exposed to regular doses of Conway Twitty. We watched all those GREAT country music TV shows every Saturday afternoon (as my Granny used to say about watching Andy Griffith) BECAUSE WE HAD TO. Now, I really love to wax nostalgic about the old country shows and seriously, they played a YUGE part in making me the music lover I am today. The TV alternatives were limited. Today's youngsters can not begin to imagine three or four channels. Even the "big three" have local networks!
I don't remember just three channels. I don't remember a time before PBS. I'm not sure when public TV came to Nashville, but I do remember seeing "Sesame Street" mentioned on another show, before I had discovered the Muppets. That was the first time I ever saw that my mom tried to hide things from me. She did not want me to start watching "Sesame Street" because she foresaw exactly what happened. She knew I'd get hooked. She didn't want to have to watch silly puppets!
If she were here, I would ask her if she really thought Gilligan was any better.
But back to Conway Twitty. I DID discover him when I was young, like age four, but that's when he looked like this (from "Hee Haw," by the way, and also used by Seth MacFarlane on "Family Guy"):
If I'd discovered him when he looked like he did in this next clip, I probably would have thought he was hot, like my aunt Peggy and a lot of other women who were young in the 1960s and 70s did. OMG. When Conway died on June 5, 1993, Peggy and one of her friends stayed up late, drinking adult beverages, crying and listening to his music, probably on vinyl... possibly on cassette... maybe, but probably not, on 8-track... and maybe on a CD... not everyone had a player then but they were gaining popularity. I understood that SHE liked him and I could understand, kind of, because I figured she was about 50 and he was probably about 50 and he sang all those sexy songs and had kind of a cool voice, but I didn't think he was HOT. But in this clip below, he was kind of cute, and that song is freakin' amazing:
Here is another phenomenal clip of the same song... I did not know this show existed. As performances go, it's not the best Conway ever did (although it might explain why he didn't dance much once color TV footage began), but it's a piece of broadcasting history for Dick Clark's intro alone. Conway looked very uncomfortable and staged, and had to be lip-synching (I just don't think there was any other way back then) but wow! What a lucky break for an Arkansas boy to share a TV audience with Fabian!
It's only make-believe... just like he's making believe he is singing... I have a real-life, not make-believe, Conway Twitty story. When I was 12, I ran into him - I mean, I literally ran.into.him - in a bowling alley in Hendersonville, TN. He was polite, maybe a little annoyed, but polite. Later I saw him playing in the 11th Frame Lounge, adjoining the bowling alley, just through the door. I didn't go in. That would've been a riot. I was there with my church youth group. He didn't look it in black-and-white, but he was in his mid-20s by the time he made it to Dick Clark's Beech-Nut Show. That makes me feel better. I think it's kind of creepy for an old woman to think such a young man would be attractive! But my daughter will be 25 this summer - NEXT MONTH! - so I guess that's why Conway looks like a kid in those video clips.
I have always had a great sense of imagination. I'm glad that it has grown up along with me, but I am really sorry that I haven't written everything I've dreamt up over the years. I created characters based on people I knew but mostly based on "what if" scenarios I dreamed up about them. I have a lot of these stories but now, I don't have nearly enough time to write about them. I'm trying, though. I'm busy in my "real job" but I have a lot more time than I let myself believe. I like writing non-fiction as well as fiction.. or maybe I should say, real life as much as make-believe. I'm blessed to have great memories and imagination for both.
Friday, March 31, 2017
When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it's a wonder I can think at all.
Watching Soundbreaking, one of my favorite PBS shows... tonight it's about the early days of music video... when I was in high school. It was a great time to be alive!!! :D I was into videos for sure. My dad hated MTV and called it "Hell Music." Did that stop me from watching it, oh, hell, no! I loved it. It was a great turning point in music history. Video may have killed the radio star, but it sure opened up a lot of doors for a lot of people.
Today I took the MRI ARRT registry exam and... well, I think it went all right, but I'll know for sure in a week or two. After all the studying, it's a wonder I can think at all. But now, at least until I know how I did, I can start focusing on the next challenge... which will be writing and web development. I do have to do my taxes (yuck) and work on bill-paying (double yuck). I have plenty of work to keep me busy this upcoming week, and lots coming up in the next few months, which is a good problem to have.
Today I took the MRI ARRT registry exam and... well, I think it went all right, but I'll know for sure in a week or two. After all the studying, it's a wonder I can think at all. But now, at least until I know how I did, I can start focusing on the next challenge... which will be writing and web development. I do have to do my taxes (yuck) and work on bill-paying (double yuck). I have plenty of work to keep me busy this upcoming week, and lots coming up in the next few months, which is a good problem to have.
Sunday, August 02, 2015
Working for a living...
So tonight I'm sitting here halfway watching TV and halfway working. I need to figure out how much work I need to do outside of my part-time jobs this week. But Hee Haw is on! That's actually pretty good inspiration for working on webpages. I'm doing nukes tomorrow. I've got a doctor appointment Tuesday and then working afterward, then all day Wednesday, and teaching CPR the end of the week in Springfield and at Vandy. This is my "audition" with Vandy so I hope I "pass."
I figure blogging is a good start to my workweek.
Tonight's the weekly Arbonne sales call for our team. I have asked two people to host for me in the last 2 days, 3 really, but 2 are hosting together. They scheduled a date for me, next month, but that's all right... better than no date at all. The third didn't, yet, but maybe soon. I'm going to make some ads to put on my pages. I don't like to work too much on Sundays... I think we all need to rest one day a week if we can.
I'm pushing the 80/20 rule on eating. I'm only following about 50/50 right now! No, maybe 60/40. I'm working at it. I went to the Y in Clarksville today and that was a good thing.
I figure blogging is a good start to my workweek.
Tonight's the weekly Arbonne sales call for our team. I have asked two people to host for me in the last 2 days, 3 really, but 2 are hosting together. They scheduled a date for me, next month, but that's all right... better than no date at all. The third didn't, yet, but maybe soon. I'm going to make some ads to put on my pages. I don't like to work too much on Sundays... I think we all need to rest one day a week if we can.
I'm pushing the 80/20 rule on eating. I'm only following about 50/50 right now! No, maybe 60/40. I'm working at it. I went to the Y in Clarksville today and that was a good thing.
Friday, July 31, 2015
Money can't buy everything, it's true, what it don't get, I can't use.
That's not completely true... but I'm still thinking about it. Money is on my mind. I'm hiring. What? Seriously, I'm an Arbonne International Independent Consultant, and I'm looking for copycats who want to make money. LOL Is it fast money? It hasn't been in my case. But I'm in this for the long haul, and August is going to be a great month. I'm really looking forward to recruiting some new consultants. Arbonne is a great company. Yes, I drink the koolaid every day! LOL They don't sell Kool-Aid. What they do have is a product called Energy Fizz Sticks that come in pomegranate and citrus flavors. I'm a big fan of them! My website is marisabush.arbonne.com... more later...
Sunday, March 09, 2014
Two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one...
I'd planned to use this post to document my progress on the "40 bags in 40 days" project for Lent. You know, 40 bags of decluttering... however, I've been working a lot! I didn't do any decluttering on Ash Wednesday because I went to Randy's mom's house for dinner, but I DID clean up Sonny's bathroom and that WAS one bag of trash.
On Day 2 of Lent I cleaned off the bathroom counter. Photos to come later. Three bags resulted from that - one trash bag and two smaller gift bags, one for each child.
I went back to work after all the snow on Friday, and then worked in home health Friday night. I worked Saturday morning and evening, and in between I went to Nashville and took back the rental car and finally got my car back, went to eat with Randy, his mom, his sister and her friend, and went to the karaoke pizza place. Today I worked in the morning, napped awhile in the afternoon, and have been lazy, watching TV and playing online since. So I guess I'm three days behind, because I really shouldn't count all three bags from Thursday.
Well... that's all I've got to say about that, so far. More later...
On Day 2 of Lent I cleaned off the bathroom counter. Photos to come later. Three bags resulted from that - one trash bag and two smaller gift bags, one for each child.
I went back to work after all the snow on Friday, and then worked in home health Friday night. I worked Saturday morning and evening, and in between I went to Nashville and took back the rental car and finally got my car back, went to eat with Randy, his mom, his sister and her friend, and went to the karaoke pizza place. Today I worked in the morning, napped awhile in the afternoon, and have been lazy, watching TV and playing online since. So I guess I'm three days behind, because I really shouldn't count all three bags from Thursday.
Well... that's all I've got to say about that, so far. More later...
Sunday, March 24, 2013
I'm not Lisa. My name is Julie.
My name is not Julie. Nor was the woman's singing this song - that would've been Jessi Colter, the undeniably hot wife (now widow) of Waylon Jennings. My really pretty stepsister looks a lot like a young Jessi, to me. Yes, I am a little jealous - Jessi was hot, but also extremely cool. Still is, really.
That link will take you to a YouTube video of her singing on "Hee Haw" and, of course, if you know me, you'll know I've written a bunch of stuff about that show.
I didn't start this post with the intention of writing about Jessi Colter. I wanted to write about someone named Julie, Julie London. She was another hot but extremely cool lady. Yes, I really AM heterosexual. I promise. But when you're a kid, you often admire the beautiful women in your life and in front of you on the TV. I haven't forgotten this!
With this sort of mindset, the other morning I was fighting the urge to go back to sleep. The night before, I'd been up late and I read the IMDb profile I linked above, and I thought, I really need to watch some "Emergency." So that morning when I was dragging, I thought, "What would Dixie McCall do?" Dixie, of course, was the name of Julie's character, the unflappable, consummate ER nurse who was, in my humble opinion, perfect for the job. She stood up for others, whether they be the patient or a co-worker, whenever necessary. She offered a listening ear or a hand to hold. She was efficient and professional, caring and yet direct. She was smart and always knew what to do. I still want to be Dixie when I grow up.
What would Dixie have done that early morning? Why, she'd have gotten up and made a pot of coffee and gotten down to business! I could've made a pot of coffee, but I've been drinking tea more lately. I had a jug in the kitchen, so I poured myself a big glass and got on with my day. I had an observation that day. I don't know yet how it went (my meeting is tomorrow) but I felt cool, calm, unflappable, and interesting. I created a meme and put it on my desktop both at home and work, and even printed a copy for my desk at work:
You may copy it... I don't remember where the picture came from either so I deserve no credit. It's good to have it. I sat down here awhile ago and I saw that picture and I thought... Dixie would sit here and do her lesson plans!
Of course I sat here and wrote this post instead... but I'll get to work on those lesson plans right away. I just had to share this with my "fans." (tee, hee... these probably never get read!)
That link will take you to a YouTube video of her singing on "Hee Haw" and, of course, if you know me, you'll know I've written a bunch of stuff about that show.
I didn't start this post with the intention of writing about Jessi Colter. I wanted to write about someone named Julie, Julie London. She was another hot but extremely cool lady. Yes, I really AM heterosexual. I promise. But when you're a kid, you often admire the beautiful women in your life and in front of you on the TV. I haven't forgotten this!
With this sort of mindset, the other morning I was fighting the urge to go back to sleep. The night before, I'd been up late and I read the IMDb profile I linked above, and I thought, I really need to watch some "Emergency." So that morning when I was dragging, I thought, "What would Dixie McCall do?" Dixie, of course, was the name of Julie's character, the unflappable, consummate ER nurse who was, in my humble opinion, perfect for the job. She stood up for others, whether they be the patient or a co-worker, whenever necessary. She offered a listening ear or a hand to hold. She was efficient and professional, caring and yet direct. She was smart and always knew what to do. I still want to be Dixie when I grow up.
What would Dixie have done that early morning? Why, she'd have gotten up and made a pot of coffee and gotten down to business! I could've made a pot of coffee, but I've been drinking tea more lately. I had a jug in the kitchen, so I poured myself a big glass and got on with my day. I had an observation that day. I don't know yet how it went (my meeting is tomorrow) but I felt cool, calm, unflappable, and interesting. I created a meme and put it on my desktop both at home and work, and even printed a copy for my desk at work:
Of course I sat here and wrote this post instead... but I'll get to work on those lesson plans right away. I just had to share this with my "fans." (tee, hee... these probably never get read!)
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Someday, lady, you'll accomp'ny me
I could've sworn I used this post title before... but I couldn't find it. Doesn't matter. I have had this song in my mind the last few days, and then I got "Roll Me Away," because it, too, was in my head. I didn't really understand the feeling of wanting to just go back then, when those songs came out. Now I do. I wish I could've driven off and kept driving during my spring break. It's OK though. I did some different things last week after I got my medical stuff out of the way. I had a fairly normal ultrasound, a cavity filled, blood work that I still haven't heard about... and then I moved a bunch of furniture from Mom's house and moved some out of here. I rented a booth at an antique mall and a storage bin in Pleasant View. Life is pretty good, I think. I hope I feel the same way tomorrow after school.
Monday, March 11, 2013
'Cause we live in a time when meaning falls in splinters from our lives
Today has been a hard day.
It has been a month now, and I can't say it makes sense yet. I feel terrible, like somehow I let her down by not being able to keep her alive. She wanted to live, so badly. And yet I know that she wouldn't want to come back now. She suffered so much. I think she just got so tired.
I miss her. I wish I could have kept her with me for the rest of my life, but only if she was healthy and enjoying life, and not having to go through all that chemo and radiation. I thought about that occasionally, like what if we were out on a Sunday afternoon and had an accident and went together? But that's not the way it happened and for the family's sake, I know that's a good thing.
This experience has changed me and I'm not sure I like the way I have turned out, but I have learned a lot about myself in the past month.
I know that life is short. I have spent too much time playing cards and looking at silly blogs and tumblrs. I am going to use my spring break a little more wisely than I have in the past. I am going to declutter my house 15 minutes at a time. Yes, that's a FlyLady concept but please don't put me on the email list! I have to declutter my emails!!! :D
I know that life is short and we should do things we want to do and things we think will make a difference in the world, even if the difference seems small. I have searched my heart and my soul to figure out if I am headed in the right direction.
I have had to face some of my past, not that I have a lot of regrets, but I think we should learn from our past, and one mistake I have made over and over and over again is that I seem to never be happy. Is that why I can't get a nuclear medicine job in Nashville, because I have the reputation for never being content where I am? I know that's why I have such a dirty house, because I was never happy living here. I wanted to live in Ridgetop. Now, I don't have much reason to. Mom's gone, Grandaddy's gone, and Randy works 40 miles from there. This house is 17.5 miles from his work and 18.5 miles from mine... and I only work 10 months out of the year.
I like my car, though.
I may not always like teaching but I like my classroom. I could improve it, but I like it.
It's late and I have an appointment early. It may not ever make sense, but maybe I can be at peace with that.
It has been a month now, and I can't say it makes sense yet. I feel terrible, like somehow I let her down by not being able to keep her alive. She wanted to live, so badly. And yet I know that she wouldn't want to come back now. She suffered so much. I think she just got so tired.
I miss her. I wish I could have kept her with me for the rest of my life, but only if she was healthy and enjoying life, and not having to go through all that chemo and radiation. I thought about that occasionally, like what if we were out on a Sunday afternoon and had an accident and went together? But that's not the way it happened and for the family's sake, I know that's a good thing.
This experience has changed me and I'm not sure I like the way I have turned out, but I have learned a lot about myself in the past month.
I know that life is short. I have spent too much time playing cards and looking at silly blogs and tumblrs. I am going to use my spring break a little more wisely than I have in the past. I am going to declutter my house 15 minutes at a time. Yes, that's a FlyLady concept but please don't put me on the email list! I have to declutter my emails!!! :D
I know that life is short and we should do things we want to do and things we think will make a difference in the world, even if the difference seems small. I have searched my heart and my soul to figure out if I am headed in the right direction.
I have had to face some of my past, not that I have a lot of regrets, but I think we should learn from our past, and one mistake I have made over and over and over again is that I seem to never be happy. Is that why I can't get a nuclear medicine job in Nashville, because I have the reputation for never being content where I am? I know that's why I have such a dirty house, because I was never happy living here. I wanted to live in Ridgetop. Now, I don't have much reason to. Mom's gone, Grandaddy's gone, and Randy works 40 miles from there. This house is 17.5 miles from his work and 18.5 miles from mine... and I only work 10 months out of the year.
I like my car, though.
I may not always like teaching but I like my classroom. I could improve it, but I like it.
It's late and I have an appointment early. It may not ever make sense, but maybe I can be at peace with that.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Some people call me the Space Cowboy...
I couldn't decide on a song title for today's post. Yesterday was Christmas, and Mom is doing better so I didn't need anything else for Christmas. Randy was really disappointed that we had to spend our Christmas money on Rachel's car. He never would tell me what he wanted to get me... or what he secretly wanted to spend that money on... but I wasn't disappointed at all.
Well, I don't like to post about job stuff, not anymore, but I am going to admit that I'd been interested in a nuc med job. I miss working in nuc med and not just because teaching is a stressful job. (Nucs could be stressful too.) Today I talked to a former co-worker who is the imaging director at her current workplace. She was not very encouraging (it's a long story but she was very nice), though she did say she'd consider me for summer PRN work. I have 2 possibilities for that, which is better than where I've been in the past.
So, I guess I'm staying in the classroom. Last semester ended on a sad note. I can't go into all the details but all of you know about what happened in Connecticut at the end of the semester. That happened right after I had a not-so-hot observation and right before I got a threatening email. I felt like there was a huge shadow hanging over the idea of having two weeks off. On the other hand, I was looking forward to having two weeks - or at least one - to plan ahead. I've done a little of that today and I'm glad. I'm not ready, but I'm feeling a lot better about it.
Well, I don't like to post about job stuff, not anymore, but I am going to admit that I'd been interested in a nuc med job. I miss working in nuc med and not just because teaching is a stressful job. (Nucs could be stressful too.) Today I talked to a former co-worker who is the imaging director at her current workplace. She was not very encouraging (it's a long story but she was very nice), though she did say she'd consider me for summer PRN work. I have 2 possibilities for that, which is better than where I've been in the past.
So, I guess I'm staying in the classroom. Last semester ended on a sad note. I can't go into all the details but all of you know about what happened in Connecticut at the end of the semester. That happened right after I had a not-so-hot observation and right before I got a threatening email. I felt like there was a huge shadow hanging over the idea of having two weeks off. On the other hand, I was looking forward to having two weeks - or at least one - to plan ahead. I've done a little of that today and I'm glad. I'm not ready, but I'm feeling a lot better about it.
Saturday, December 01, 2012
Come fly away, let's fly, let's fly away...
Are you familiar with the FlyLady? I have been a fledgling off-and-on for awhile. I don't usually like adhering to a "system" unless it's something I've designed myself (for example, I go through my list every morning - I made it up one summer when I was having a hard time getting up at a "decent" hour and getting ready to go anywhere - for some reason I have no problem remembering "Tea, hair, meds, dress, teeth, eat, phone."). So, I've struggled with sticking to the FlyLady system too.
A lot of people who know me probably think I am fairly organized. Most of them might be surprised if they came to my house and saw it in the pigsty condition in which it usually stays. Many things have contributed to this. It started when I was working part-time at NorthCrest and I felt guilty because I didn't have my house clean all the time. Well, I guess really it started before that. I was "born organized" as FlyBabies say, but when I started dating Randy I discovered that one could survive while flying by the seat of the pants (Not to be confused with "FLYing.") not just where cleaning is concerned but in many other ways as well. A few years later I wanted to fill my house with more little ones - so I ended up with 3 cats and a dog - and my house got messier and messier. Then my health started interfering, where I couldn't stand up for long periods of time. And somewhere in there my work schedule started interfering too. Not only was I working at home just to keep up, I was taking online classes... and of course I had to rebel and do nothing to "relax."
So the house is a wreck.
I REALLY want to clean it up and post pictures of before and after. I am not sure I want people to know how bad it is, but maybe once I get it under control I'll be okay with it. One challenge I have is that it's kind of like catching up on your laundry or your dishes or for us teachers, catching up all the grading... just because you get it completely clean (or caught up) doesn't mean you never have to clean it again. It's a constant job; it never really ends. The FlyLady system has a lot of built-in routines to address this issue. I am going to try it again. Now if this works I will have to write another blog entry about self-discipline and the Word of God... but more on that later.
A lot of people who know me probably think I am fairly organized. Most of them might be surprised if they came to my house and saw it in the pigsty condition in which it usually stays. Many things have contributed to this. It started when I was working part-time at NorthCrest and I felt guilty because I didn't have my house clean all the time. Well, I guess really it started before that. I was "born organized" as FlyBabies say, but when I started dating Randy I discovered that one could survive while flying by the seat of the pants (Not to be confused with "FLYing.") not just where cleaning is concerned but in many other ways as well. A few years later I wanted to fill my house with more little ones - so I ended up with 3 cats and a dog - and my house got messier and messier. Then my health started interfering, where I couldn't stand up for long periods of time. And somewhere in there my work schedule started interfering too. Not only was I working at home just to keep up, I was taking online classes... and of course I had to rebel and do nothing to "relax."
So the house is a wreck.
I REALLY want to clean it up and post pictures of before and after. I am not sure I want people to know how bad it is, but maybe once I get it under control I'll be okay with it. One challenge I have is that it's kind of like catching up on your laundry or your dishes or for us teachers, catching up all the grading... just because you get it completely clean (or caught up) doesn't mean you never have to clean it again. It's a constant job; it never really ends. The FlyLady system has a lot of built-in routines to address this issue. I am going to try it again. Now if this works I will have to write another blog entry about self-discipline and the Word of God... but more on that later.
Friday, November 16, 2012
I tell it like it used to be.
Yesterday I had this song on my mind. I guess you could take it different ways. I am not living in the past like the writer of the song. It was more like telling it like it will be.
Sometimes I have to fight the negative thoughts in my head. Don't we all, sometimes? Like, I sometimes find myself thinking, "I'm depressed" for no apparent reason. Oh, I have as many reasons as most people to be depressed: a stressful job, more month than money, car troubles once or twice a month, a sick relative (or two or three) at least that often... I could go on, but I won't because I don't want to get depressed. I have just as many, if not more, reasons NOT to be depressed: a wonderful husband, amazing children, a good family, a warm house and a steady job, a great church family and good friends, and I could go on and on.
So yesterday when "I'm depressed" entered my head, I thought, "No, I used to be."
And I thought, I could apply that to so many other negatives in life, not just mine but others' lives as well.
I'm lazy. No, I used to be. Now I'm not.
I'm selfish. No, I used to be. Now I'm giving and caring.
Maybe it's crazy to carry on both sides of a conversation in your mind, but then again, maybe it used to be. Maybe now I'm rational.
Sometimes I have to fight the negative thoughts in my head. Don't we all, sometimes? Like, I sometimes find myself thinking, "I'm depressed" for no apparent reason. Oh, I have as many reasons as most people to be depressed: a stressful job, more month than money, car troubles once or twice a month, a sick relative (or two or three) at least that often... I could go on, but I won't because I don't want to get depressed. I have just as many, if not more, reasons NOT to be depressed: a wonderful husband, amazing children, a good family, a warm house and a steady job, a great church family and good friends, and I could go on and on.
So yesterday when "I'm depressed" entered my head, I thought, "No, I used to be."
And I thought, I could apply that to so many other negatives in life, not just mine but others' lives as well.
I'm lazy. No, I used to be. Now I'm not.
I'm selfish. No, I used to be. Now I'm giving and caring.
Maybe it's crazy to carry on both sides of a conversation in your mind, but then again, maybe it used to be. Maybe now I'm rational.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Accentuate the positive!
I believe I've had an entry by that name before, but today it seems good. I am on fall break. Yay!!! Poor D, he has had to go to school. The rock star will be off the next two days. On Friday he's got a gig. I guess our traveling won't be happening this time. Oh, well. Christmas will be here soon and maybe we can do some driving then.
We're going to choir practice in a few minutes so I can't write long. I just had the urge to share my feelings. I want to be happier being a teacher. A few days ago Randy and I discussed this and he gave me his opinion that I lack self-confidence... which I totally agree with. He followed that up by saying that I hate myself, with which I totally disagree.
So today I typed in "Positive thinking Bible verses" and I saw a site with several verses. I really liked it and I surfed around it a lot. Here's the one I really honed in on.
I love it! It reminded me why I've been searching for a nuclear medicine part-time job, or possibly full-time job - because I'd like to make more money. I almost forgot I'll be needing a little less after this school year, Lord willing; I'll have both vehicles paid for and I sure hope I don't need another one that requires a payment any time soon.
I'm happy with my husband 90% of the time (which is probably better than average), and with my body 75% of the time (which is probably WAY better than average, and most people would not be happy with mine! Oh, well). So can I be happy with my job? My house? I'm working on it. I'm getting there.
We're going to choir practice in a few minutes so I can't write long. I just had the urge to share my feelings. I want to be happier being a teacher. A few days ago Randy and I discussed this and he gave me his opinion that I lack self-confidence... which I totally agree with. He followed that up by saying that I hate myself, with which I totally disagree.
So today I typed in "Positive thinking Bible verses" and I saw a site with several verses. I really liked it and I surfed around it a lot. Here's the one I really honed in on.
Hebrews 13:5 ESV
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”I love it! It reminded me why I've been searching for a nuclear medicine part-time job, or possibly full-time job - because I'd like to make more money. I almost forgot I'll be needing a little less after this school year, Lord willing; I'll have both vehicles paid for and I sure hope I don't need another one that requires a payment any time soon.
I'm happy with my husband 90% of the time (which is probably better than average), and with my body 75% of the time (which is probably WAY better than average, and most people would not be happy with mine! Oh, well). So can I be happy with my job? My house? I'm working on it. I'm getting there.
Monday, May 28, 2012
SI... oh, who cares. When you close your eyes, do you dream about me?
Do you remember this song? I do. Does it have any significant meaning for today's post? Well, it has a significant meaning for today. I woke up early this morning, dreaming about someone from my past. And in my dream I must have been watching something that would have happened 25 plus years ago and I said, "It's all right. One day he is going to realize what he's missed out on and it's going to be too late."
And he did.
And it was.
And now I have these dreams from time to time and sometimes they worry me because back in the day I would dream about him two nights in a row and find out that something had happened, like his grandmother died, and there was something else, but I don't remember what. Maybe when his aunt died, I don't know. I didn't have a premonition about his mother, I can tell you that. Well, I did in a way... a few months before she died I dreamed about him and wondered. Nothing specific though.
I am still working on improvements (cleaning, specifically) and starting tomorrow (it's a holiday weekend) I'll go back to working on something for school every day, or every weekday at least. I'm trying to do healthy things for myself too and I'm learning about herbs again. I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I have toyed with the idea for a long time, but yesterday I was talking with my mom about... of all things, medical marijuana. Now, we didn't get into the whole, "This could be good for you," thing. Nothing that deep, of course; it was more speculation on whether someone we know from a state where medicinal use is legal has a prescription. She says no but this person is using it illegally. I said maybe he or she is, maybe he or she is not, but if this person is using it, he/she very likely has an rx. Mom didn't think this person had the financial resources to get a prescription. It was at that point I stopped arguing with her because... well, there comes a point in family arguments/discussions where tensions and voices are raised and motives are questioned (and you really do not want to know what motives have been questioned in the past). We had not come to that point yet and I didn't think it was worth going there. And somehow my thought process came around to what would I do if I couldn't teach anymore... I guess because the subject of our discussion is unemployed. I thought, nuc med jobs are scarce everywhere, and if for some reason I couldn't teach, I'd want to move somewhere like Arizona and become a midwife or an herbalist or something like that. I think another thought on my mind was what someone like Mom would do. I don't know what she is going to do now. I don't know how long she can keep her disability, her insurance, and all of that. And how many people are out there who don't have insurance? Who don't have treatments for diseases like cancer? There's a lot to think about.
So is that what I need to do? I don't think so. I think teaching is the thing for me right now. Someday it may not be, and when that happens, at least I know there are options out there.
And he did.
And it was.
And now I have these dreams from time to time and sometimes they worry me because back in the day I would dream about him two nights in a row and find out that something had happened, like his grandmother died, and there was something else, but I don't remember what. Maybe when his aunt died, I don't know. I didn't have a premonition about his mother, I can tell you that. Well, I did in a way... a few months before she died I dreamed about him and wondered. Nothing specific though.
I am still working on improvements (cleaning, specifically) and starting tomorrow (it's a holiday weekend) I'll go back to working on something for school every day, or every weekday at least. I'm trying to do healthy things for myself too and I'm learning about herbs again. I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I have toyed with the idea for a long time, but yesterday I was talking with my mom about... of all things, medical marijuana. Now, we didn't get into the whole, "This could be good for you," thing. Nothing that deep, of course; it was more speculation on whether someone we know from a state where medicinal use is legal has a prescription. She says no but this person is using it illegally. I said maybe he or she is, maybe he or she is not, but if this person is using it, he/she very likely has an rx. Mom didn't think this person had the financial resources to get a prescription. It was at that point I stopped arguing with her because... well, there comes a point in family arguments/discussions where tensions and voices are raised and motives are questioned (and you really do not want to know what motives have been questioned in the past). We had not come to that point yet and I didn't think it was worth going there. And somehow my thought process came around to what would I do if I couldn't teach anymore... I guess because the subject of our discussion is unemployed. I thought, nuc med jobs are scarce everywhere, and if for some reason I couldn't teach, I'd want to move somewhere like Arizona and become a midwife or an herbalist or something like that. I think another thought on my mind was what someone like Mom would do. I don't know what she is going to do now. I don't know how long she can keep her disability, her insurance, and all of that. And how many people are out there who don't have insurance? Who don't have treatments for diseases like cancer? There's a lot to think about.
So is that what I need to do? I don't think so. I think teaching is the thing for me right now. Someday it may not be, and when that happens, at least I know there are options out there.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
SI wk 0 day 6: School's out for summer
Not quite forever just yet...
I really enjoyed my day today. I wasn't at school all that long and I came home and piddled around here after that. I decided that every day I'm going to try to do several things.
One, I'm going to do something each day to improve my health. Today... well, I ate broccoli and cheese for supper, along with baked beans. Not the healthiest meal but not the worst either. I didn't exercise today because my feet have hurt just about all day. I relaxed. Isn't that good?
Two, I'm going to do something fun every day, or some kind of treat to myself. Now you have to realize that I can have fun with a lot of different things! I did several fun things today. I watched "The Women of SNL" which was pretty funny. I've relaxed on the hammock several times (isn't that healthy too?). I worked on my Jux account, because I'm thinking about trying to sell some medical photography. Maybe...
Three, I'm doing something school-related each day because I have lots of good ideas and I'd like to get ahead of the game. I had to set a limit on that - no more than four hours a day. There will be days when I have to do more than four hours a day, because of professional development and such. I'm excited though. Today was a half-day so there was my four hours.
Four, I'm going to do something spiritual every day. That's sort of broad... a lot of things fit in here. Doing something for somebody would fit, as would singing in a nursing home. Could I count meditating in the hammock here?
Finally, I'm going to do something for the home each day. I washed dishes and a load of clothes. I folded a load of clothes, and I dusted the dresser in the master bedroom. I had to deal with Sonny's urine... don't want to talk about that. I haven't done a lot of housework but I've done something today and will improve tomorrow.
I really enjoyed my day today. I wasn't at school all that long and I came home and piddled around here after that. I decided that every day I'm going to try to do several things.
One, I'm going to do something each day to improve my health. Today... well, I ate broccoli and cheese for supper, along with baked beans. Not the healthiest meal but not the worst either. I didn't exercise today because my feet have hurt just about all day. I relaxed. Isn't that good?
Two, I'm going to do something fun every day, or some kind of treat to myself. Now you have to realize that I can have fun with a lot of different things! I did several fun things today. I watched "The Women of SNL" which was pretty funny. I've relaxed on the hammock several times (isn't that healthy too?). I worked on my Jux account, because I'm thinking about trying to sell some medical photography. Maybe...
Three, I'm doing something school-related each day because I have lots of good ideas and I'd like to get ahead of the game. I had to set a limit on that - no more than four hours a day. There will be days when I have to do more than four hours a day, because of professional development and such. I'm excited though. Today was a half-day so there was my four hours.
Four, I'm going to do something spiritual every day. That's sort of broad... a lot of things fit in here. Doing something for somebody would fit, as would singing in a nursing home. Could I count meditating in the hammock here?
Finally, I'm going to do something for the home each day. I washed dishes and a load of clothes. I folded a load of clothes, and I dusted the dresser in the master bedroom. I had to deal with Sonny's urine... don't want to talk about that. I haven't done a lot of housework but I've done something today and will improve tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
SI week 0 day 5: one more day...
Tomorrow's the last official day. The good thing is that the tough part is done. The grades are in and I just have a few more loose ends to tie up. Yesterday was the last day for the kids and tomorrow all they're going to do is hand out report cards. That may mean I have students coming in and out, but I don't know. I woke up at 2:35 this morning. I checked my e-mail and read the FlyLady digest. I don't remember much of what it said, but in the shower I thought to myself, "I deserve peace." FlyLady is big about encouraging her followers to say "I love myself," and I'm not arguing with that. As a Christian though, I tend to think that I don't deserve a whole lot. By that I mean that I believe I have good things by the grace of God and not anything I have done. What I thought in the shower, though, is what's in my control. I should treat myself better than to run myself ragged trying to do the impossible, or to beat myself up for things I cannot control. I don't need to beat myself up for things over which I once had control but don't anymore. (in other words, things I screwed up).
In turn, I deserve respect from others whether they are my students or my supervisors. I deserve proper treatment and I am going to start expecting it.
So I got a lot done at school today. I didn't feel really good and I had to do a lot of running around. I will be doing even more putting stuff up tomorrow and hopefully no one will want to use my computer expertise.
I got more done here than usual too. Folded clothes, washed dishes, and now I'm watching "Trauma: Life in the ER" and getting ideas for how to use these in class. I can't keep showing episodes of "House" UNLESS I find better ways to tie it into my standards. However, I have NO problem at all using TV shows, movies, etc. to teach the kids while they think they're doing something else.
In turn, I deserve respect from others whether they are my students or my supervisors. I deserve proper treatment and I am going to start expecting it.
So I got a lot done at school today. I didn't feel really good and I had to do a lot of running around. I will be doing even more putting stuff up tomorrow and hopefully no one will want to use my computer expertise.
I got more done here than usual too. Folded clothes, washed dishes, and now I'm watching "Trauma: Life in the ER" and getting ideas for how to use these in class. I can't keep showing episodes of "House" UNLESS I find better ways to tie it into my standards. However, I have NO problem at all using TV shows, movies, etc. to teach the kids while they think they're doing something else.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
SI wk 0, day 4: And when I'm itchy, I scratch.
Anybody remember this one? It was from Sesame Street back in the 70's.
Today did not start well. Randy played yesterday's messages and we learned that Derek's surgery has been postponed for two weeks. This means his jaw will be wired shut when we planned to go on vacation. That means we've got to reschedule not just us but six or seven more people. But he is a good kid; he said not to worry about him. Bless his heart.
After that we discovered that the cat crapped in the bath tub and vomited in the hall. Not only that but he crapped on a towel in the bathroom too. Not a good morning.
Work was easy, relatively... my first block took their exam and I graded it, and spent most of the rest of the day doing the end-of-year packing and paperwork. We have 1.5 more days, and I'll spend them doing more of the same. It's all right. I'm going to spend a little time each week preparing for next year.
Randy is practicing and Derek went to spend the night with a buddy. Rach moved out today, to start her new summer job as a youth worker intern at a church in Nashville. I've been sitting here itching all evening. I don't know if the loveseat's got fleas or what. (That would figure, wouldn't it?) I need to stop being so lazy but I figure I'll work hard tomorrow. Just doing some laundry tonight.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Summer improvements week 0 day 2: I don't wanna work... or maybe I do
Today I have mostly been lazy. We had our church homecoming today, which was nice. I messed up my song, and I was already a bit emotional when another soloist got choked up singing his, which obviously reminded him of his grandmother who died in February. His dad, too, was emotional when the time came for him to dedicate the gift from the memorial fund in her memory so the tears flowed freely today.
After that, a huge unhealthy meal and since then a long nap and then the runs and during that time a good read of a book about neuropathy. I have had a tough time with neuropathy lately. I have always tended to be a wuss about pain or so I was told. I believed this too until I walked around for 6 hours with a broken ankle and then worked for 3 hours with a broken hand. I don't like pain but I can put up with a lot. This chronic pain of neuropathy has really put a cramp in my life. I can't stand up for long periods of time and I am just getting worse. I have decided that starting now I am going to eat less carbohydrate and sugar. I feel like I need to be on one of those commercials like the people who are young and suffering the effects of smoking. Yes, sugar can do this to you! Give up the candy bars now! And, sigh, the sweet tea. I always liked that more than candy anyhow. I can do candy in moderation. I don't do cheesecake in moderation. Ice cream is a big temptation too. I hope it helps. If nothing else then at least I should lose some weight and maybe then people won't blame my pain on my weight. Sigh. I think I can live with a less wheat based diet. I hope so.
Randy is home after a long shopping trip. I don't know where he has been so I hope this is good. He had been to his mom's. Oh, well, that explains it. THANKS FOR MAKING ME WORRY FOR THREE HOURS. I don't mind him going to his mom's and Lord knows he doesn't have to answer to me for every minute of every day, but he not only was gone for 4.5 hours doing a one hour job, he didn't respond to a text an hour ago. We only live about 20 minutes from his mom. I am not one of those control freaks who keeps her man on a tight leash. If I had been, I probably wouldn't still be married to Randy. Sometimes, though, I feel the need to remind him that he is married and because he lives with someone, occasionally he needs to let us know what he's doing.
I have been so lazy this weekend. I didn't clean house, pay bills, or shop or anything. Well, I DID go to the store yesterday. I hope I have a better attitude. I should. School is out after Tuesday (even though I have to go until Thursday). I never thought I'd be one of those teachers who counted the days until summer vacation. But you really can't help it. It is so stressful when the kids are ready to get out... which is every day, but worst in May. I spent this, my third year, trying to find another job. There, I admit it. I don't think that helped my attitude a bit, but my finances were the harsh reality that teachers just don't make the money nuclear medicine techs do. And, oh, yes, let's not forget I didn't WANT to get out of the field, it just seemed like a better option than where I was when I did... working in an office with uncertainty and no benefits and a toxic environment after being laid off from my dream job. If I hadn't gone into teaching, if I had stayed, I wouldn't have had any hours in December. That would've been a lovely Christmas. Granted, that Christmas sucked anyway (my grandfather died on Dec. 23) but it would've been rough if I hadn't been paid.
It sounds like it'd be easy to find PRN work, but nobody wants to hire a PRN tech who can only work in the summer. They want people who can come in at the drop of a hat anytime (and from my previous experience, who can work all those school holidays so they can be off with their kids). If I had been working somewhere PRN when I started teaching, I could've done it. I really should be glad I'm not doing nucs anymore. My old feet couldn't take it, for starters, and I don't miss working with people in that environment. I mean, I work with complainers (the students) and other adults (the teachers) but it's different. There is less of the "keeping up with the Joneses" because nobody's got any money. There's less drama because we're the grownups (most of the time). I miss patient care, and I wonder if that's not part of my issue, that I'm having to treat myself as a patient. I could work as a CNA but I don't know if I could handle an 8 hour shift on my feet.
There IS a nuc tech opening in Gallatin, 47 miles away. And no, don't suggest that I could move because it is not that simple. Randy has a job about 15 miles from here (and approximately 62 miles from Gallatin) and halfway between the two is... well, it IS in Derek's school district but that would mean selling this place and that is not something that can be done overnight in this neighborhood. Besides we're assuming I'd get the job. A nuc tech can't assume that anymore especially one who is 45 and fat and has a reputation of working here there and everywhere. And has a pretty well known health history. Again losing weight would help, but I couldn't lose it fast enough to help get that job. And then there is Derek's upcoming surgery (hello, patient care skills) and all that entails. I am better off staying put for now and doing transcription when I can, writing, and just hoping being a tech coach and data coach will keep us afloat until I can get my car paid off.
After that, a huge unhealthy meal and since then a long nap and then the runs and during that time a good read of a book about neuropathy. I have had a tough time with neuropathy lately. I have always tended to be a wuss about pain or so I was told. I believed this too until I walked around for 6 hours with a broken ankle and then worked for 3 hours with a broken hand. I don't like pain but I can put up with a lot. This chronic pain of neuropathy has really put a cramp in my life. I can't stand up for long periods of time and I am just getting worse. I have decided that starting now I am going to eat less carbohydrate and sugar. I feel like I need to be on one of those commercials like the people who are young and suffering the effects of smoking. Yes, sugar can do this to you! Give up the candy bars now! And, sigh, the sweet tea. I always liked that more than candy anyhow. I can do candy in moderation. I don't do cheesecake in moderation. Ice cream is a big temptation too. I hope it helps. If nothing else then at least I should lose some weight and maybe then people won't blame my pain on my weight. Sigh. I think I can live with a less wheat based diet. I hope so.
Randy is home after a long shopping trip. I don't know where he has been so I hope this is good. He had been to his mom's. Oh, well, that explains it. THANKS FOR MAKING ME WORRY FOR THREE HOURS. I don't mind him going to his mom's and Lord knows he doesn't have to answer to me for every minute of every day, but he not only was gone for 4.5 hours doing a one hour job, he didn't respond to a text an hour ago. We only live about 20 minutes from his mom. I am not one of those control freaks who keeps her man on a tight leash. If I had been, I probably wouldn't still be married to Randy. Sometimes, though, I feel the need to remind him that he is married and because he lives with someone, occasionally he needs to let us know what he's doing.
I have been so lazy this weekend. I didn't clean house, pay bills, or shop or anything. Well, I DID go to the store yesterday. I hope I have a better attitude. I should. School is out after Tuesday (even though I have to go until Thursday). I never thought I'd be one of those teachers who counted the days until summer vacation. But you really can't help it. It is so stressful when the kids are ready to get out... which is every day, but worst in May. I spent this, my third year, trying to find another job. There, I admit it. I don't think that helped my attitude a bit, but my finances were the harsh reality that teachers just don't make the money nuclear medicine techs do. And, oh, yes, let's not forget I didn't WANT to get out of the field, it just seemed like a better option than where I was when I did... working in an office with uncertainty and no benefits and a toxic environment after being laid off from my dream job. If I hadn't gone into teaching, if I had stayed, I wouldn't have had any hours in December. That would've been a lovely Christmas. Granted, that Christmas sucked anyway (my grandfather died on Dec. 23) but it would've been rough if I hadn't been paid.
It sounds like it'd be easy to find PRN work, but nobody wants to hire a PRN tech who can only work in the summer. They want people who can come in at the drop of a hat anytime (and from my previous experience, who can work all those school holidays so they can be off with their kids). If I had been working somewhere PRN when I started teaching, I could've done it. I really should be glad I'm not doing nucs anymore. My old feet couldn't take it, for starters, and I don't miss working with people in that environment. I mean, I work with complainers (the students) and other adults (the teachers) but it's different. There is less of the "keeping up with the Joneses" because nobody's got any money. There's less drama because we're the grownups (most of the time). I miss patient care, and I wonder if that's not part of my issue, that I'm having to treat myself as a patient. I could work as a CNA but I don't know if I could handle an 8 hour shift on my feet.
There IS a nuc tech opening in Gallatin, 47 miles away. And no, don't suggest that I could move because it is not that simple. Randy has a job about 15 miles from here (and approximately 62 miles from Gallatin) and halfway between the two is... well, it IS in Derek's school district but that would mean selling this place and that is not something that can be done overnight in this neighborhood. Besides we're assuming I'd get the job. A nuc tech can't assume that anymore especially one who is 45 and fat and has a reputation of working here there and everywhere. And has a pretty well known health history. Again losing weight would help, but I couldn't lose it fast enough to help get that job. And then there is Derek's upcoming surgery (hello, patient care skills) and all that entails. I am better off staying put for now and doing transcription when I can, writing, and just hoping being a tech coach and data coach will keep us afloat until I can get my car paid off.
All I did to improve the house today was wash dishes - fair enough, since I dirtied quite a few preparing potato casserole and cookies for church - and sweep the kitchen. I spot-mopped a little of the kitchen floor too.
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