One of these nights I'm gonna write something absolutely amazing and powerful and I'm really looking forward to it.
So far, I haven't figured out what that is, exactly... but I'm okay with that. I'll keep on writing until I do.
I'd love to write more, and really, I DO write more than I post on this blog because I prefer not to just throw everything I think onto a blog like a diary for everyone in the universe to read. I work a lot, and I love what I do 99.44% of the time but I would love to have more time to write. I spend too much time trying to make money. Well, I might as well while I'm able and my kids aren't little anymore so that I can retire before I die. I tell people I write every chance I get but it's really not true. If it were true, I'd have a lot more material to read. I have many, many stories in my head that I really should put into writing, because I know I'm not going to live forever (at least not in this realm, and I'm not sure how much of my brain will make it through the life I'm living now) and I don't want the stories and characters to die with me. After I'm gone my kids can pass this stuff on to other people, or just give them away, but hopefully, I'll get some of them out into the world and let the universe decide whether they're worth keeping.
There were also people who once walked this earth and not just through my brain whose stories shouldn't be forgotten either. Those who passed after about 2005 will have more information about them on the Internet for future generations than those who passed before that, and there are stories in the old newspapers and databases for those who wish to look for those folks. Still there are people who lived quiet and simple lives, whose stories weren't compelling Nicholas Sparks novel fodder (or even Lifetime movie fodder), who've left serious marks on the manuscript of my own life. My grandmother was one... one of her father's seventeen children as well as one of her mother's eleven. Her oldest sister Lorene was evidently unable to bear children of her own, but I never, ever heard her complain about that, or talk about it at all. I never asked her why she didn't have children, maybe because I was afraid to bring it up. Her husband had lost two children in the Christmas Eve crash that claimed his first wife and left him with only his son. Maybe she figured it might've been better to have had no children at all. His son gave her four step-grandchildren that she dearly loved in her own quiet way. She wasn't the kind of grandmother who took the kids to Opryland (actually they didn't have that on either side, but all their grandparents cared for them very much) but she baked them goodies and visited them and kept an eye on them and probably went to graduations and things like that, I don't remember. She also kept a lot of other relatives, like me.
She, like Granny, had a portrait of a handsome young man I never had the privilege to know, my uncle Olie. His death at age 18 was one of those events you see in movies, where a local teenager gets really sick (or has an accident or gets shot or... you get the picture) and dies young and the whole town shuts down for the funeral. But before I knew all that about the town's reaction, I knew that my grandmother and all her family lost a dear brother, son, grandson, and uncle. I guess because he didn't live long enough to have children and grandchildren of his own, I felt sort of obligated to keep his memory alive. I think others in my family might've felt that way too. For example, my uncle Lanny put a new headstone on Olie's grave. Lanny was just a little fella when Olie died; I think he was about 3.
These are just a few of the stories I'd like to share, as well as some of the fictional characters I've created over the years. Some of my characters are loosely based on real people and real events, but in general most are purely made up. Here's an example of that: I used to wonder what it would've been like if Lorene and her first husband had adopted a child, or had a baby late in life. Everette was only in his early 40s when he died, so he would've died very early in this baby's life. I came up with a lot of good stories and characters from that "what if" story. Many of my stories are "what ifs" or at least they start out that way. I do a lot of research into the past to find details and ideas. Like looking at Olie's death certificate and obituary.
I need to be looking at the inside of my eyelids. Gotta go make that money while it's there.
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
Sunday, December 03, 2017
Just remember I love you, more than I can say... maybe then your blues will fade away
And I almost titled this one "Your Love Has Lifted Me Higher," because it was out that year. I was just tired of looking for a more appropriate title from the year in my mind.
In 1977, I turned ten. My world was pretty small. I was born in Nashville but I lived just north of the county line in Ridgetop. I thought Nashville was a pretty important place, like Chicago or New York. I had no idea that there were bigger places in the world, though I had heard of far-away cities like New York and Atlanta. I had been to the ocean in North Carolina, which made me a little different from my classmates who went to PCB every couple of years.
Two girls moved in up the road from my grandparents' house in the mid '70s. They were from Seattle, which was way, way up in the return address corner of the United States. Looking at it on the globe, it looked like it would be much colder, and I learned that sometimes it was, but they had a lot of weather similar to ours in Tennessee with sunshine and rain. Humidity was something else. It's still something else, let me tell you.
Looking back, I never began to comprehend what it must have been like to be a newcomer in a town like Ridgetop. Having moved out of town a few times since then, I feel a little sorry about that. Everybody in Ridgetop must have seemed to be related. They moved to a house on a hill, a house built by my grandmother's family when she was a little girl and their old house on that same location burned. From the front yard one could see eight houses. I had relatives in two of those houses, my grandmother and her cousin Jerry. Another neighbor was my aunt's sister-in-law. She grew up there too.
That summer the neighbor girls' dad was transferred and they returned to Seattle. Elvis died, Star Wars premiered, and other things happened that stamped the year in my memory. One happened to my brother. Mom took him to day care, where he refused to drink the milk. They thought he was just "faking" when he said he was allergic. He obeyed. He vomited. Mom found another babysitter quick, cousin Jerry's wife Wanda. Mom hadn't considered really thought of her earlier because she seemed to keep a lot of kids and had her hands full. To my knowledge though, she never lost any! At first I stayed by myself at my grandmother's house that summer, but there was some family trouble going on (other unforgettable events I don't want to write about tonight, and a few I didn't really understand) so I started going to Wanda's too. I think she saw me as another big kid who could help with the little ones, like her younger brother and nephews who dropped in frequently.
Jerry was one of my favorite relatives. He was one of those people who always had a smile. Even in sad moments, he could muster up a grin. He was funny and kind. When I was a very little girl, long before 1977, I remember thinking he was cute. Back then we called him "Jerry Lee." I noticed a lot of my relatives calling him that today; I even found myself saying it. When he was born he had a hole in his heart, and some of my earliest memories of him involved him being in the hospital in serious condition, having had a heart attack or something at a very early age (like 24 maybe?). I remember being told his heart had stopped but he was brought back to life. I knew what that meant. It was very scary and I remember being very afraid that he would die.
I wish I could've seen him recently. Most of the times I've seen him over the past 20 years were when he was working on cars out in the yard and the garage, and I was driving by on my way to Mom's and Granddaddy's. I think I saw him at Mom's funeral; I know I saw him at Granddaddy's and talked to him for quite a while.
Today I went to his funeral. I sure hated to see him go. I pray for Wanda and his kids and grandkids. Ridgetop is a sadder place without him for sure.
In 1977, I turned ten. My world was pretty small. I was born in Nashville but I lived just north of the county line in Ridgetop. I thought Nashville was a pretty important place, like Chicago or New York. I had no idea that there were bigger places in the world, though I had heard of far-away cities like New York and Atlanta. I had been to the ocean in North Carolina, which made me a little different from my classmates who went to PCB every couple of years.
Two girls moved in up the road from my grandparents' house in the mid '70s. They were from Seattle, which was way, way up in the return address corner of the United States. Looking at it on the globe, it looked like it would be much colder, and I learned that sometimes it was, but they had a lot of weather similar to ours in Tennessee with sunshine and rain. Humidity was something else. It's still something else, let me tell you.
Looking back, I never began to comprehend what it must have been like to be a newcomer in a town like Ridgetop. Having moved out of town a few times since then, I feel a little sorry about that. Everybody in Ridgetop must have seemed to be related. They moved to a house on a hill, a house built by my grandmother's family when she was a little girl and their old house on that same location burned. From the front yard one could see eight houses. I had relatives in two of those houses, my grandmother and her cousin Jerry. Another neighbor was my aunt's sister-in-law. She grew up there too.
That summer the neighbor girls' dad was transferred and they returned to Seattle. Elvis died, Star Wars premiered, and other things happened that stamped the year in my memory. One happened to my brother. Mom took him to day care, where he refused to drink the milk. They thought he was just "faking" when he said he was allergic. He obeyed. He vomited. Mom found another babysitter quick, cousin Jerry's wife Wanda. Mom hadn't considered really thought of her earlier because she seemed to keep a lot of kids and had her hands full. To my knowledge though, she never lost any! At first I stayed by myself at my grandmother's house that summer, but there was some family trouble going on (other unforgettable events I don't want to write about tonight, and a few I didn't really understand) so I started going to Wanda's too. I think she saw me as another big kid who could help with the little ones, like her younger brother and nephews who dropped in frequently.
Jerry was one of my favorite relatives. He was one of those people who always had a smile. Even in sad moments, he could muster up a grin. He was funny and kind. When I was a very little girl, long before 1977, I remember thinking he was cute. Back then we called him "Jerry Lee." I noticed a lot of my relatives calling him that today; I even found myself saying it. When he was born he had a hole in his heart, and some of my earliest memories of him involved him being in the hospital in serious condition, having had a heart attack or something at a very early age (like 24 maybe?). I remember being told his heart had stopped but he was brought back to life. I knew what that meant. It was very scary and I remember being very afraid that he would die.
I wish I could've seen him recently. Most of the times I've seen him over the past 20 years were when he was working on cars out in the yard and the garage, and I was driving by on my way to Mom's and Granddaddy's. I think I saw him at Mom's funeral; I know I saw him at Granddaddy's and talked to him for quite a while.
Today I went to his funeral. I sure hated to see him go. I pray for Wanda and his kids and grandkids. Ridgetop is a sadder place without him for sure.
Sunday, March 02, 2014
One more time for all of the old times!
Yesterday I worked in home health and in my free time (and afterward) I did some karaoke "hopping." My first stop was Knight's Pizza in Greenbrier. They need a web page! Hey, if y'all are reading this and you need a web page, let me know by posting a reply to this post and I will get you started cheap!
The next place I went, after work, was CJ's Grille in White House. These folks need a web page too, but they DO have a Facebook page. I put the other link in just because I know not everybody does Facebook. For that matter there are still a few people who don't use the Internet all the time like I do.
All that singing had me in a great mood going from my first patient's house to my second and going home too, although by then the singing was over because the voice was tired. Of course I really enjoy doing home health, but some days the driving gets tedious and occasionally I am in a lot of pain from beginning to end and sometimes the next day as well.
Today there was church and then dinner at Logan's in Clarksville. Since then it's been a day for curling up on the couch and halfway watching a movie with Randy (Machete Kills - wouldn't have been my choice, but it's got a huge cast and it's somewhat entertaining. I would rate it NC17 for violence and language, but it's certainly not boring.). It's cold and rainy here, and we've just begun to get thunder. Thunder snows are rare. I haven't heard any sleet, but hopefully it will just go straight to 3 or 4 inches of snow and we won't have any of this "wintry mix" we keep hearing about.
The first time I remember hearing thunder when it was snowing was when I was almost 11. Mom was very, very pregnant with Garner and that winter had been particularly bad. It was 1978,one of those years we ran out of snow days and some of those snows were over six inches. It was a sort of scary afternoon, and we needed our clothes washed, and we didn't have a washer and dryer in our apartment so we got in the VW and went to the laundromat in Greenbrier. (Now, there is a laundromat within walking distance!) Dad came up there looking for us because we weren't home and the weather was horrible. Everything was all right. We were just hurrying to get everything done so we could get home out of the elements. By the way, the website I used for that 1978 link is pretty cool. One can easily compare the data from the past to the future to see if they still believe in global warming, or just to prove that yes, dear, we did get deeper snows and more of them in the '70s. Don't ask me why.
Here's a healthcare funny I might share with my students. What if the doctor wore the johnny?
The next place I went, after work, was CJ's Grille in White House. These folks need a web page too, but they DO have a Facebook page. I put the other link in just because I know not everybody does Facebook. For that matter there are still a few people who don't use the Internet all the time like I do.
All that singing had me in a great mood going from my first patient's house to my second and going home too, although by then the singing was over because the voice was tired. Of course I really enjoy doing home health, but some days the driving gets tedious and occasionally I am in a lot of pain from beginning to end and sometimes the next day as well.
Today there was church and then dinner at Logan's in Clarksville. Since then it's been a day for curling up on the couch and halfway watching a movie with Randy (Machete Kills - wouldn't have been my choice, but it's got a huge cast and it's somewhat entertaining. I would rate it NC17 for violence and language, but it's certainly not boring.). It's cold and rainy here, and we've just begun to get thunder. Thunder snows are rare. I haven't heard any sleet, but hopefully it will just go straight to 3 or 4 inches of snow and we won't have any of this "wintry mix" we keep hearing about.
The first time I remember hearing thunder when it was snowing was when I was almost 11. Mom was very, very pregnant with Garner and that winter had been particularly bad. It was 1978,one of those years we ran out of snow days and some of those snows were over six inches. It was a sort of scary afternoon, and we needed our clothes washed, and we didn't have a washer and dryer in our apartment so we got in the VW and went to the laundromat in Greenbrier. (Now, there is a laundromat within walking distance!) Dad came up there looking for us because we weren't home and the weather was horrible. Everything was all right. We were just hurrying to get everything done so we could get home out of the elements. By the way, the website I used for that 1978 link is pretty cool. One can easily compare the data from the past to the future to see if they still believe in global warming, or just to prove that yes, dear, we did get deeper snows and more of them in the '70s. Don't ask me why.
Here's a healthcare funny I might share with my students. What if the doctor wore the johnny?
Monday, April 01, 2013
Time, don't run out on me.
Time is flying. It's already April. What a year it has been... not all bad, certainly not all good.
I'm watching "Mask" which is bad because it means I won't ever do anything else the rest of the night... not that I was planning to do anything anyway. I was planning to go to bed at a halfway decent hour. I napped from 4:30 to about 5:30. I looked at Facebook and I did Derek's taxes. I worked on my APSU registration. That's about it. Sad, huh? The night just flew. I just wanted to document that I did something - albeit very small - with it.
I'm watching "Mask" which is bad because it means I won't ever do anything else the rest of the night... not that I was planning to do anything anyway. I was planning to go to bed at a halfway decent hour. I napped from 4:30 to about 5:30. I looked at Facebook and I did Derek's taxes. I worked on my APSU registration. That's about it. Sad, huh? The night just flew. I just wanted to document that I did something - albeit very small - with it.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
The greatest love of all
When I was a freshman in college, this song took the world by storm. This morning I heard it on "Coming to America," performed by Eddie Murphy as Randy Watson, "who played Joe the Policeman on the 'What's Goin' Down' episode of 'That's My Mama!'" Tonight, I played the real version, in memory of the late great Whitney Houston. God rest her soul. So sad.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
We shall overcome, some day.
Is today an anniversary of some event in the Civil Rights Movement? I'm asking because I just got through watching "Mississippi Burning," and now "Ghosts of Mississippi" is on. I'd never seen the first movie before today, but I'd heard of it. The latter's one of my favorites. (I just love Alec Baldwin with a Southern accent. It drips like honey from his mouth.) I know it's not MLK's birthday, or anniversary of his assassination. Emmett Till's birthday is next week, and Medgar Evers' was week before last. Actually, if you Google "July in Civil Rights History," you'll see that several events took place in July.
I'm home alone tonight. Randy's got a "gig," Rachel's working at school, & Derek's spending the night with a friend. If I think about it, I get kind of sad thinking that my babies are grown up, but I'm really too busy to be lonely. I've been to see friends today anyway so I don't feel lonely. I got my hair cut really short today. I wanted to go back to the natural color, and besides, it was hot. There's plenty to do: laundry, coursework for my Desktop Publishing class, dishes, balancing the checkbook, recording stuff on the DVR for my collection, lesson planning, studying the CNA book, and reading the Bible!!! I'm starting CNA classes on Monday.
All summer, I looked for a part-time job I could do in the summers and perhaps on weekends during the school year too. Well, nobody wanted a Certified Nuclear Medicine Technologist who could only work PRN in the summer. So, I applied for care partner positions, and other medical jobs that I'm probably over-qualified to do. Nobody thought a CNMT could do anything except punch buttons and I can imagine them asking, don't they handle radiation? Why doesn't she find a job in oncology or something? Uh, because first, I'm not qualified to do radiation oncology and second, there are 35 jobs - nationwide - if you type in "nuclear medicine technologist" on CareerBuilder, and 20 of them are for medical technologists or nuclear pharmacists or other jobs I am not qualified to do. The other 15 are all over the country, the closest being in Atlanta, 4 hours away. If I wanted to go full time, the closest position is in Florida, 8 or more hours away.
Most of the care partner jobs, as well as home health aide jobs, require a Nursing Assistant certification (CNA). You can't challenge the board on that. You have to go to 100 hours of schooling. Some long-term care facilities (nursing homes, assisted living facilities, etc.) will pay for you to do it, but most want applicants who already have their CNA. So, I decided to go on and do it. The first six weeks of school will be crazy...I'll finish one graduate-level class, start two more, finish the CNA class all while teaching! I'm sort of excited but also sort of scared! I believe I can do it, though.
Well, on that note, I guess I'd better get to work.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
You can't always get what you want.
Wow. Two posts in one day. I haven't played the game yet. I've been tempted but I stayed away. I'll go to bed shortly. It's just now getting dark here, but O-dark-thirty comes mighty fast. Randy & Rachel are watching "No Country For Old Men." I've sort of watched it too...been checking email, planning my tomorrow, washing dishes, & that kind of stuff while the movie's been running.
I can't say I've been a lot more cheerful since I got home, but I've cleaned out the bag of medical bills (& got the checks ready to mail in the morning!), cleaned out the fridge & washed the dishes. I've washed some clothes too. So I feel like I've accomplished something.
I have been on a hippie wannabe kick lately. I have to wonder about something. Maybe there are some old hippies out there who can answer this for me. It seems to me that becoming a hippie in 2008 is more expensive than living in the mainstream. Now, you can look at this in the long term & think, well, non-sustainable living isn't really cheaper...but that isn't my point. My point is, in the short-term, it seems to be more expensive to eat locally grown food & buy earth-friendly clothing. You can save money on makeup & hair care (of course, if you have a real job you might have to invest in a few grooming products - & again, if you use the "green" stuff it's going to cost you more than the Dollar General store stuff). So, my question is this. Was it more expensive to be a hippie instead of a conformist in the 60's? I don't see evidence that it was...but I was born in 1967 so I don't know this for certain.
I know we didn't have much, & we didn't live like hippies. We lived in a trailer. My parents were young, but they weren't hippies. My mom wasn't anti-hippie. She shared a lot of their values like being for peace & accepting people for what they are. She liked some of the music but she will tell you she didn't "get" the messages, except maybe the ones about stopping the war. Most young mothers in our hometown were like Mom was back then. She liked fashion too much to be a hippie. I can't imagine my mom letting her hair grow wild. Not back then anyway. She probably also cared about the fact that being a hippie wasn't so widely accepted in our hometown back then. At that time she wasn't really ready to take that step.
My dad could've been anti-hippie. He was a clean-cut Merle Haggard fan. You know, "We don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee." A few years down the road, Dad let his hair grow out a little & had Elvis-style sideburns, & would've lived in a cabin in the wilderness if he hadn't already owed money on a house in a subdivision. But a hippie he was not, even though his dad owned a VW bus.
I thought hippies were cool back then, but I didn't know about all the protests & drugs. I just knew about the psychedelic vans & clothes & the cool music, the people with long hair who said "groovy" & hung beads in the doorway. Lava lamps were cool, but like VW buses, I didn't associate them with hippies because my non-hippie aunt had one. She also had a gold Nova & watched PBS a lot.
Now I want to be a hippie but I can't seem to get what I want! But for now, I need to go to bed. Later!
I can't say I've been a lot more cheerful since I got home, but I've cleaned out the bag of medical bills (& got the checks ready to mail in the morning!), cleaned out the fridge & washed the dishes. I've washed some clothes too. So I feel like I've accomplished something.
I have been on a hippie wannabe kick lately. I have to wonder about something. Maybe there are some old hippies out there who can answer this for me. It seems to me that becoming a hippie in 2008 is more expensive than living in the mainstream. Now, you can look at this in the long term & think, well, non-sustainable living isn't really cheaper...but that isn't my point. My point is, in the short-term, it seems to be more expensive to eat locally grown food & buy earth-friendly clothing. You can save money on makeup & hair care (of course, if you have a real job you might have to invest in a few grooming products - & again, if you use the "green" stuff it's going to cost you more than the Dollar General store stuff). So, my question is this. Was it more expensive to be a hippie instead of a conformist in the 60's? I don't see evidence that it was...but I was born in 1967 so I don't know this for certain.
I know we didn't have much, & we didn't live like hippies. We lived in a trailer. My parents were young, but they weren't hippies. My mom wasn't anti-hippie. She shared a lot of their values like being for peace & accepting people for what they are. She liked some of the music but she will tell you she didn't "get" the messages, except maybe the ones about stopping the war. Most young mothers in our hometown were like Mom was back then. She liked fashion too much to be a hippie. I can't imagine my mom letting her hair grow wild. Not back then anyway. She probably also cared about the fact that being a hippie wasn't so widely accepted in our hometown back then. At that time she wasn't really ready to take that step.
My dad could've been anti-hippie. He was a clean-cut Merle Haggard fan. You know, "We don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee." A few years down the road, Dad let his hair grow out a little & had Elvis-style sideburns, & would've lived in a cabin in the wilderness if he hadn't already owed money on a house in a subdivision. But a hippie he was not, even though his dad owned a VW bus.
I thought hippies were cool back then, but I didn't know about all the protests & drugs. I just knew about the psychedelic vans & clothes & the cool music, the people with long hair who said "groovy" & hung beads in the doorway. Lava lamps were cool, but like VW buses, I didn't associate them with hippies because my non-hippie aunt had one. She also had a gold Nova & watched PBS a lot.
Now I want to be a hippie but I can't seem to get what I want! But for now, I need to go to bed. Later!
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Make room for the new!
It has been a happy new year, so far!
Yesterday Mom got a good report! Hallelujah! God is good! She's still a long way from well, but I feel so much more hopeful now. It may take awhile but I feel good about how it's going.
Last night Randy played at a bar in Clarksville. They probably wouldn't appreciate me calling it a beer joint, but that's what it is. I went for one set & enjoyed listening to them. I always enjoy watching my baby out there playing his bass guitar. (all you who know me, you know how I am about those tall dark haired guys with guitars!) I know I was the only non-smoker in the place. I guess I am getting old but I can't take it like I used to. You wouldn't think I grew up in a family full of smokers. Mom never smoked, but my dad & all my grandparents used to. Granny Ione (the one who died in Sept.) quit many years ago. I didn't even know she ever smoked until years later. Dad's father smoked his entire adult life. Mom's mother quit a year before she died, from a totally non-smoking-related cause. Mom's dad quit over 20 years ago & is still around to tell you about it. We now have smoke-free holidays but when I was a kid, one had to go outside to get any fresh air. Now the smokers have to go outside!
So last night before I went to see Randy & then again after, I went to hang out with the youth who were having a lock-in at our church. Since I am old & had worked all day (& we had someone call in sick too, so I had a full day), I went home & slept in my bed last night. After I picked D up at 7 am, I came back to bed & slept until 11. I don't remember the last time I slept until 11! Around 1, I picked up Rachel from her friend's sleepover. Around 5, I took her to work on the movie the drama teacher is producing, then I picked up dinner for the guys & myself before coming home.
I was glad to get here too. It is cold & windy out. I am going back to the Bridge soon - hopefully next week. I wasn't in Nashville today or I'd have gone tonight. That wind makes me feel really bad for those folks. I wish I could give them all campers or something. Anyway, I am going back. I am kind of working on another music project too - more on that later.
Be sure you look at the YouTube videos listed to the right of the blog entries. I have added a few of my favorites. I watch some of them every day! I am also working on some changes on my main webpage. I even got on MySpace! Welcome to the 21st century!
It promises to be a good year! I'm still believing for that vacation & a slimmer body!
Yesterday Mom got a good report! Hallelujah! God is good! She's still a long way from well, but I feel so much more hopeful now. It may take awhile but I feel good about how it's going.
Last night Randy played at a bar in Clarksville. They probably wouldn't appreciate me calling it a beer joint, but that's what it is. I went for one set & enjoyed listening to them. I always enjoy watching my baby out there playing his bass guitar. (all you who know me, you know how I am about those tall dark haired guys with guitars!) I know I was the only non-smoker in the place. I guess I am getting old but I can't take it like I used to. You wouldn't think I grew up in a family full of smokers. Mom never smoked, but my dad & all my grandparents used to. Granny Ione (the one who died in Sept.) quit many years ago. I didn't even know she ever smoked until years later. Dad's father smoked his entire adult life. Mom's mother quit a year before she died, from a totally non-smoking-related cause. Mom's dad quit over 20 years ago & is still around to tell you about it. We now have smoke-free holidays but when I was a kid, one had to go outside to get any fresh air. Now the smokers have to go outside!
So last night before I went to see Randy & then again after, I went to hang out with the youth who were having a lock-in at our church. Since I am old & had worked all day (& we had someone call in sick too, so I had a full day), I went home & slept in my bed last night. After I picked D up at 7 am, I came back to bed & slept until 11. I don't remember the last time I slept until 11! Around 1, I picked up Rachel from her friend's sleepover. Around 5, I took her to work on the movie the drama teacher is producing, then I picked up dinner for the guys & myself before coming home.
I was glad to get here too. It is cold & windy out. I am going back to the Bridge soon - hopefully next week. I wasn't in Nashville today or I'd have gone tonight. That wind makes me feel really bad for those folks. I wish I could give them all campers or something. Anyway, I am going back. I am kind of working on another music project too - more on that later.
Be sure you look at the YouTube videos listed to the right of the blog entries. I have added a few of my favorites. I watch some of them every day! I am also working on some changes on my main webpage. I even got on MySpace! Welcome to the 21st century!
It promises to be a good year! I'm still believing for that vacation & a slimmer body!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Was it just a dream?
Today's blog actually started out as part of last night's blog, but because it was so long, I decided to edit things a little.
Here lately I have hinted a lot about making a change. Well, I am going to be bold here, no matter who's reading.
Here lately I have hinted a lot about making a change. Well, I am going to be bold here, no matter who's reading.
When I first mentioned upcoming life changes, I was about to go on vacation, & I wasn't sure what would happen when I returned. My mom was really sick. I wasn't afraid she would die while we were gone, but I was afraid we'd learn that her condition was terminal. Well, we learned she didn't have cancer, but she has some other health issues. She had her gallbladder removed, but she's still having problems. It is really too complicated to get into here. It's been hard on all of us, but of course, hardest for her, since she has been a pretty healthy person overall. It has taken a LOT out of her. So, please pray for my mom. Hopefully, she is on the track to recovery.
I also had a dream of becoming a Southern Gospel artist, & early in the summer I thought maybe this would be my last chance to make that dream come true. Through prayer, I have come to the realization that God wants me to sing for Him, but He doesn't want me to go on the road doing it. I will continue to sing at my church, possibly at others, but I won't be quitting my job & buying a tour bus.
Other things changed though, since all that. Our vacation was not very relaxing, coming home was even more stressful, and a week later, on the day Mom had her surgery, I had the horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad day at work. Since then, things have calmed down there, but having seen the imperfection (or perhaps more accurately, the truth!) there, two weeks ago I applied for another job, which I will refer to as "Job X," with some unbelievable benefits (read on).
I interviewed for it last week. Since then, I haven't heard a word. I don't know if that's good or bad. I have mixed emotions about it. I hate to leave another job. In 18 years as a nuclear medicine tech, I have never worked anywhere longer than six years. I do have retirement funds (from three different employers), so I am not completely without any kind of plan for the future, but I haven't got the years of security some people do. But in this day & age, do any of us REALLY have any job security? (See the story of Sterling Marlin, on yesterday's blog.)
"Job X" has a lot of possibilities that I don't have currently. It would be 4 10-hour days, where I seldom get more than 32 hours in 4 days now. That alone would be a HUGE difference for us. That kind of extra money would help us get a lot of debts paid off a lot sooner. I would have to drive about 30 more miles a day, but the difference in gas money would be more than covered by the extra work hours. But the biggest difference is that "Job X" would give us significant tuition assistance for our children. I know of NO other employers in this area that offer that benefit. Right now, I am just hoping I can get hold of enough cash to buy all the kids' school supplies during tax-free weekend next week, much less pay college tuition in three years. There are other pros & cons, which kind of balance out.
Yes, we have made some terrible financial decisions, & that is not the fault of my current, former, or possible future employers. Still, when I look at "Job X," I see a chance to regain some of the footing I have lost over the years. That makes it hard to deal with the ever-increasing possibility that I WON'T get offered "Job X." I mean, if I haven't got it yet, are my chances of getting it improving? Possibly, I guess. But at this point, I can't keep sitting around thinking about how much better life will be when it happens. I need to be content where I am. Can I do that? Can I make those changes in my life without "Job X"?
I was excited about several possibilities other than the tuition deal.
One: I wanted to buy a hybrid or other earth-friendly new vehicle in a year or so, when we'll need a third vehicle. Without "Job X," I'll most likely be buying a used car. That's OK. Used gas-misers get sold too. I can live with a used vehicle.
Two: I'd like to be able to "eat green." Right now, I have to be really careful with the grocery money. I usually end up going over budget in this area. I am not that good with couponing & scouring the sale papers. Those actions usually just make me want items I don't really need. My biggest problem there is that I should've taught the kids to appreciate pinto beans & cornbread when they were toddlers. Instead, I fed them pizza & hot dogs. Sigh.
Even if I had cash to spare, there are no organic food stores in Clarksville. "Job X," in Nashville, is close to several. But yesterday, I went to the Organic Farmers' Market in White's Creek, which is only open from 8 a.m. to noon on Saturday. While I enjoyed those $3/lb Cherokee Purple heirloom tomatoes, I probably won't make the 20-mile trek down there next week. Instead, I'll drive 5 miles to the nearby garden center that sells regular tomatoes for $0.50/lb. Not organic, but a lot less driving. As much as I want to help support organic farmers, it is currently a major sacrifice for me to drive that far to pay 6 times the price.
Three: I'd like to do more cool things with the family while they're the right age. Right now our entertainment budget includes HBO & TiVo. Actually GOING to a movie blows the budget, & we've done that twice this month. And I only went to one of those, a matinee! I'd like for us to attend concerts occasionally & see more independent films together, & of course, nights like that also include dinners out.
Four: I'd hoped to have the extra money to give nice Christmas presents not only to my kids & my husband (who evidently think they're supposed to break the bank every year) but to my parents, grandparents, & other family members. One reason I'm in so much debt is because I've overspent my Christmas budget almost every year. If "Job X" doesn't come through, I guess the credit cards will. That's not how I want to live, though.
Five: I was actually stoked about the 3/4 mile walk from the parking lot to "Job X" & back daily. I suppose I could figure out another way to squeeze in 1.5 miles of walking a day.
There are other things. I had dreams of maybe getting into education or research at "X," which are opportunities I'll never have at the office. Can I do them independently? Maybe, I don't know. But, there are people who would love to have my job, too. It's not that bad. It's just harder to scrape by.
Sorry about the novel, but I had a lot to get off my chest. I feel better now.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Back to the drive-in
As a family, these are the movies I remember seeing at either a theater or drive-in:
Grease (at the drive-in, on its second release)
Saturday Night Fever (second drive in feature, same night; the "cleaned up" PG version)
Gator (same drive-in, different year)
The Wilderness Family (see the previous post)
Sasquatch!!!
The Sword in the Stone, for my birthday when I was about 4 or 5.
Star Wars - about a year after it first came out. I think I was the last kid in my entire elementary school to see it. And I was in the 5th grade.
The Empire Strikes Back. The weekend it came out. Even though we were on vacation. After Daddy saw the first one, he saw them all.
And, some movie about the shroud of Turin.
Oh, yes. I just barely remember going to see Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid at a drive-in. This movie came out when I was two. It's possible we saw it on a later release, but I know I was very small. Most likely, my parents didn't think I would remember any of it, or they'd have left me with my grandparents.
We had cable TV for a few years when I was a teen. My dad wanted ESPN (so he could watch the same games over & over, which is what ESPN showed back then). In order to get that he had to have the premium tier with MTV. He hated MTV. He called it "hell music." Back then, it was pretty tame. Now, however, his words seem kind of prophetic to me. Daddy quit paying for the cable because they wouldn't give him ESPN without MTV. Then my grandmother moved in with us, & she started paying the cable bill, & we got everything including HBO & Cinemax. By this time, I was a senior in high school. My brother, in 1st grade, got up in the night & went to Granny's living room to watch everything imaginable.
We used to joke about him looking at the TV Guide & saying, "All right, here's a movie with nudity, violence, & language - great! Looks like my kind of movie."
My parents turned a blind eye to this. Baby of the family syndrome? Probably.
Randy's parents took their kids to see every movie they saw, including (but not limited to): Heavy Metal, The Wall, all the Friday the 13th movies, The Towering Inferno, all the Airport movies, & Apocalypse Now.
Did Randy & his sister turn out all right? I guess that depends on who you ask. I think so, but like most people, they've made their share of mistakes. But, like my brother, they could've turned out a lot worse.
Grease (at the drive-in, on its second release)
Saturday Night Fever (second drive in feature, same night; the "cleaned up" PG version)
Gator (same drive-in, different year)
The Wilderness Family (see the previous post)
Sasquatch!!!
The Sword in the Stone, for my birthday when I was about 4 or 5.
Star Wars - about a year after it first came out. I think I was the last kid in my entire elementary school to see it. And I was in the 5th grade.
The Empire Strikes Back. The weekend it came out. Even though we were on vacation. After Daddy saw the first one, he saw them all.
And, some movie about the shroud of Turin.
Oh, yes. I just barely remember going to see Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid at a drive-in. This movie came out when I was two. It's possible we saw it on a later release, but I know I was very small. Most likely, my parents didn't think I would remember any of it, or they'd have left me with my grandparents.
We had cable TV for a few years when I was a teen. My dad wanted ESPN (so he could watch the same games over & over, which is what ESPN showed back then). In order to get that he had to have the premium tier with MTV. He hated MTV. He called it "hell music." Back then, it was pretty tame. Now, however, his words seem kind of prophetic to me. Daddy quit paying for the cable because they wouldn't give him ESPN without MTV. Then my grandmother moved in with us, & she started paying the cable bill, & we got everything including HBO & Cinemax. By this time, I was a senior in high school. My brother, in 1st grade, got up in the night & went to Granny's living room to watch everything imaginable.
We used to joke about him looking at the TV Guide & saying, "All right, here's a movie with nudity, violence, & language - great! Looks like my kind of movie."
My parents turned a blind eye to this. Baby of the family syndrome? Probably.
Randy's parents took their kids to see every movie they saw, including (but not limited to): Heavy Metal, The Wall, all the Friday the 13th movies, The Towering Inferno, all the Airport movies, & Apocalypse Now.
Did Randy & his sister turn out all right? I guess that depends on who you ask. I think so, but like most people, they've made their share of mistakes. But, like my brother, they could've turned out a lot worse.
At the drive-in
I figured out that the title problem was a Blogger problem. So, it wasn't just happening to me. And here I thought it was my limping old computer.
If I had it my way, me & my family would be living without satellite or cable TV. We'd watch the news, & maybe some old movies. It would save us money, & I'd never have to worry about the kids watching filthy TV shows. The simple answer is, cut off the cable. In reality, not so simple. Simply put, Randy & I do not see eye-to-eye on this issue.
Our upbringings were not so different in most ways. His parents were a little older than mine (his mom is a year older than my dad, but his dad was six years older than my mom), but they all grew up in the 50's & came of age in the 60's & lived in rural areas in Tennessee. They had a lot of the same values. None were rich; some were very poor. There were a few differences. His parents had many siblings. My mom has one brother; my dad had two. Both Randy's parents had parents who divorced - unusual for the time. My dad's parents separated after 30 years of marriage, but never divorced; my mom's parents lived together until my grandmother's death, after 46 years of marriage.
My parents were not big movie-goers. I do recall seeing a handful of movies with my dad, a few more with my mom or my grandmother, & as I got older, quite a lot with my brothers (while Mom was at the mall or something) & with friends. Randy's parents, on the other hand, were BIG movie-goers. His mom still is. They saw EVERYTHING. I'm going to make another post on that subject. His parents demonstrated a long-lasting, committed marriage, while mine divorced after something like 28 years together. Their marriage demonstrated a lot of tenderness & passion, combined with a lot of bitterness & hurt. Well, some things are better left in the past & some relationships just never heal.
One movie we saw as a family was "The Wilderness Family." After seeing this my dad wanted to uproot all of us & move to the wilderness. I was afraid I'd never graduate from third grade. I didn't particularly like school, so I don't know why I wanted to stay where I was.
As an adult, I probably lean more toward that wilderness approach. (I do, however, like air conditioning a LOT. Indoor plumbing is awesome, too.) I would probably homeschool & totally have the kids living in a bubble. But when I was a teenager & a young adult, I didn't want to live in the wild, & neither does Randy. He might like the privacy a zillion acres of woods would bring, & he'd certainly appreciate the beauty, but I think he likes the comfortable world of the recliner & the air conditioner. And let's not forget HBO. He sees nothing wrong with them watching HBO & MTV. He used to be stricter about it. I, too, used to police the kids' TV a lot more, but as they've gotten older, Randy has relaxed the rules a lot. So, policing would not work now. They'd just get up after I go to bed & watch what they want. Randy might watch with them.
I feel like I screwed up - again - by letting down my guard. But, I try to make the best of this. Here's what I do. First, I do TiVo a lot of shows that aren't risque, such as classic country music TV shows & gospel singing shows. I record a lot of them on DVD & share them with my grandmother, who enjoys them, & then I have them for my collection. Another thing I do is TALK TO MY KIDS. When we see something I don't like, I say so. Like, "I hate how in some of these movies people just end up in bed. That is so tacky. And dumb." (And we DON'T watch the sex scenes together! Eww!) Or, "Drugs'll do that to you." Or, "See how people con you into wanting to wear their style of clothes?" I try to turn those moments into teaching opportunities.
So, before you judge someone's lifestyle, remember that they might be practicing submission to their spouse!!!
If I had it my way, me & my family would be living without satellite or cable TV. We'd watch the news, & maybe some old movies. It would save us money, & I'd never have to worry about the kids watching filthy TV shows. The simple answer is, cut off the cable. In reality, not so simple. Simply put, Randy & I do not see eye-to-eye on this issue.
Our upbringings were not so different in most ways. His parents were a little older than mine (his mom is a year older than my dad, but his dad was six years older than my mom), but they all grew up in the 50's & came of age in the 60's & lived in rural areas in Tennessee. They had a lot of the same values. None were rich; some were very poor. There were a few differences. His parents had many siblings. My mom has one brother; my dad had two. Both Randy's parents had parents who divorced - unusual for the time. My dad's parents separated after 30 years of marriage, but never divorced; my mom's parents lived together until my grandmother's death, after 46 years of marriage.
My parents were not big movie-goers. I do recall seeing a handful of movies with my dad, a few more with my mom or my grandmother, & as I got older, quite a lot with my brothers (while Mom was at the mall or something) & with friends. Randy's parents, on the other hand, were BIG movie-goers. His mom still is. They saw EVERYTHING. I'm going to make another post on that subject. His parents demonstrated a long-lasting, committed marriage, while mine divorced after something like 28 years together. Their marriage demonstrated a lot of tenderness & passion, combined with a lot of bitterness & hurt. Well, some things are better left in the past & some relationships just never heal.
One movie we saw as a family was "The Wilderness Family." After seeing this my dad wanted to uproot all of us & move to the wilderness. I was afraid I'd never graduate from third grade. I didn't particularly like school, so I don't know why I wanted to stay where I was.
As an adult, I probably lean more toward that wilderness approach. (I do, however, like air conditioning a LOT. Indoor plumbing is awesome, too.) I would probably homeschool & totally have the kids living in a bubble. But when I was a teenager & a young adult, I didn't want to live in the wild, & neither does Randy. He might like the privacy a zillion acres of woods would bring, & he'd certainly appreciate the beauty, but I think he likes the comfortable world of the recliner & the air conditioner. And let's not forget HBO. He sees nothing wrong with them watching HBO & MTV. He used to be stricter about it. I, too, used to police the kids' TV a lot more, but as they've gotten older, Randy has relaxed the rules a lot. So, policing would not work now. They'd just get up after I go to bed & watch what they want. Randy might watch with them.
I feel like I screwed up - again - by letting down my guard. But, I try to make the best of this. Here's what I do. First, I do TiVo a lot of shows that aren't risque, such as classic country music TV shows & gospel singing shows. I record a lot of them on DVD & share them with my grandmother, who enjoys them, & then I have them for my collection. Another thing I do is TALK TO MY KIDS. When we see something I don't like, I say so. Like, "I hate how in some of these movies people just end up in bed. That is so tacky. And dumb." (And we DON'T watch the sex scenes together! Eww!) Or, "Drugs'll do that to you." Or, "See how people con you into wanting to wear their style of clothes?" I try to turn those moments into teaching opportunities.
So, before you judge someone's lifestyle, remember that they might be practicing submission to their spouse!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)