I've written about my health and constant, chronic pain before. Today, it is reaching new heights. I slept about 3 hours, then I woke up to go to the bathroom and then I was hitting that period of the morning where different alarms go off every so often, my attempt at keeping my body waking up at around 5 AM when I go back to work tomorrow. So I was in serious pain when it was time to get ready for church, and I decided not to go. I didn't really want to miss church, but I sure didn't want to stand in the choir loft (or in the congregation) or sit in the pews while my feet were aching like sore teeth.
If you want to think I'm Miss Cheerful and never complain about anything... stop reading now, because it's gonna get hateful in here. I hate dealing with chronic pain. When I was in 3rd grade, I got to know a girl who was diabetic and I wanted to learn all about her. I was a little jealous because she had a mid-morning break when she went to the teachers' lounge and my suspicion was that she had a snack (I was usually hungry before lunch so this seemed positive) and had to test her sugar... which was all by urine at the time, no sticking. I thought it was a built-in diet trick to always drink diet sodas, I thought that would keep her from being a fat adult. (It didn't. She's not huge, but has never been thin.) That was very important to me at the time. She did have to get insulin shots, but they didn't seem to bother her like shots bothered me. I thought, the worst thing that can happen is that old people with diabetes sometimes lost toes, and I wasn't sure why that happened, but her 11-year-old toes seemed to be in decent shape. I also thought if shots were the worst thing... well, let me assure you, they are not.
The neuropathy started sometime around November, 2008. I'd been diabetic for at least 2 years before that, and it wasn't too long after my diagnosis. I was insulin resistant for many years, since at least 1985 and probably a few years before. I thought it was just a genetic thing, most of my mom's family dealt with it. I didn't realize what that was doing to my body, and I didn't realize that the way I ate was making it worse. I had gestational diabetes in my first pregnancy, and though I didn't the second time, I did have a nine pound baby that time - both risk factors for developing diabetes later in life. Even that didn't scare me. I thought because I had low blood sugar that I wouldn't become diabetic, just like I couldn't starve myself because my sugar would dip too low. Honestly, if my blood sugars hadn't been so wild, I probably would've been anorexic because food was always the enemy. But I'd let them drop too low and then stuff some carbs down to get me through. Carbs couldn't be too bad, right? After all, they were low in fat and fat was the problem, right? I ate more complex carbs, like pasta and potatoes, because they weren't simple sugars like candy that would run through me quickly. I began to realize that I could eat sugars IF i ate something with protein first, so I did.
When I was diagnosed, I thought if I took my meds, I could still eat what I wanted, within limits. I didn't really want as much sweet stuff, but I did still like it. I thought I would never be able to cut carbs out completely, and I was eating so much less sugar than I used to, but eventually, they had to stop one of my medicines because of the liver function tests going haywire, so I just gave up and threw all caution to the wind. For a year or so I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. Eventually I did attempt to cut out carbs, and I'm still pretty good at that, but I do eat some. Like I had a hot dog, and instead of carb-laden side dishes, I had - sit down - a BUN! Oops. Flag on the play. The touchdown will not count.
I've been thoroughly disappointed with the inability of modern medicine to cure my pain. Doctors say, "You've got to have better control of your sugar." I'm like, it's 3:00 pm and all I've had all day was a protein shake that says it contains 25 carbs. How could my sugars be high because of that? So why are they hurting? Well, lots of things can make them hurt... but only keeping my sugars low is the only relief I can get???
I would try medical marijuana, but I live in a non-legal state. I'm told my state representatives share the Attorney General's belief that marijuana leads to harder drugs. I went to college. I tried "weed" back in the day. I never did any stronger drugs, and I was offered cocaine more than once. For the record, I didn't try marijuana the first few times it was offered either. I guess I did do "harder" drugs at times... I had morphine after surgery. Once in awhile I'd have a prescription for an opiate, when I had broken bones and migraines and toothaches. The medicine would help with whatever pain I was in at the time, but that wasn't because I smoked pot in college. I could understand how people got hooked on opiates, because after surgery, it was a little scary to think about the pain without the drugs, but I was able to go longer and longer without them and substitute Tylenol for doses during the day until I could easily wean off the "hard stuff." Nowadays I can't even get the doctors to write me a prescription for pain medicine, because it's taboo to prescribe opioids. Oh, and by the way, I live in the number one opiate-prescribing state according to this study. Not surprising, considering we are a long way from a medically-legal marijuana state. I think in a few years our neighbor Arkansas will have it. That's only three hours from me... certainly not convenient for moving. Oh, if Kentucky would allow it, I'd probably move the 13 miles due north for that.
So i am left to my own devices to drown out the pain. I'm gonna try turmeric. Hell, what do I have to lose? I go to bed terrified of what the next day is going to bring. I have no guarantee that a night's sleep will allow me to wake up feeling energetic and pain-free. (Occasionally, it happens.) If I have to work, will I be miserable all day? Maybe I'll have a good day and it'll feel better. But after I stand a lot, what will my night be like? If I can't sleep, I'm guaranteed a day of intense pain. I have to check all the boxes: a good night of rest, all medications taken on time, all meals at the correct time (which doesn't happen often in my work), no carbs (even on Christmas! Diabetes doesn't take a holiday), a good balance of sitting and standing and walking (something else I can't always control in my job). Now, who among us can check all those boxes every.single.day? Maybe I am a loser because I screw up on that list on a pretty regular basis. Then there are the matters none of us can control, such as weather. Did we get a cold front? Count on extra pain. Rain? Probably. But it's the way I eat that's the problem. RIGHT. Too cold in the room? Better cover those feet, but socks are usually too tight, exacerbating the pain.
It's a vicious cycle. Sleep late and take meds late? Ouch. Work to make money and, let's face it, to keep me on my feet... and pay for it later with sleepless nights. It's driving me insane. I've tried B-6, B-12, biotin, evening primrose oil, alpha-lipoic acid, multi-vitamins, Metanx, and using a TENS unit... ice, heating pad, more water, liquor, prayer (begging), and acupuncture. While the latter can be helpful, it can also be useless. I've experienced more movement after a treatment, but also experienced more pain after one too.
If I get a lot of negative comments on today's post, I'll just shut down the comments on it. So, if you have a suggestion (like the many who say, just eat less, just exercise more... ha, let me put you into my day and see how YOU do), let your words be nice and sweet, for later they may be words you'll have to eat.
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Sunday, January 21, 2018
Monday, March 20, 2017
Loving a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be...
Well, you can say that again. I'm still waiting for my tour bus and swimming pool. Hahaha! I can't really complain, though. He's a good husband and he's bringing home dinner!!! Also, our band is playing this weekend... but more about that later.
So I have a lot of big plans for my writing and webpages. I know, I say that about once a year, but maybe God is trying to tell me something.
For one thing, I'm not getting a lot of work hours right now, and this was supposed to be one of my busy times. In February, I had 21.5 weekdays scheduled to work in March. By March 1, two days had already been canceled. On March 3, a tech called about her upcoming some surgery, which will put her out 8 weeks. She works 4 days a week. Of course, I have some days I'm scheduled to go other places. I can only be one place at a time, but the lead tech knows this, and I'm sure they'll work out the details when it gets a little closer.
On March 6, I learned that I wouldn't be needed on the 7th as well as the 12th through the 15th. They also cancelled 4 more weeks scattered through the rest of the year at that location. On the 7th, I learned they could not use me on the 8th. I called the CPR office and was able to pick up a few days there. That day, the surgery date was set for the above-mentioned tech, so I was able to make some plans, which included two days of teaching CPR, including the 13th and 14th. Naturally, as soon as I did that, a coworker asked if I could work on the 14th, so I canceled that day too. A few hours later, the lead tech asked if I could work on the 13th. I told her that I had just canceled 3 CPR days and I need CPR to keep the wolf from the door during the slow times, but I'd work in the morning if she needed me to, and she took me up on that. So, I ended up working a half a day on the 13th, then rushing over to teach CPR. On my way home, I got a text message saying that they did not need me on the 14th after all. Unfortunately, they didn't need me to teach CPR by then either. Last night they called me in to work today, where I learned that I am no longer needed Wednesday through Friday. So I was planning to work 21.5 days and I'll end up with 13.5, unless something changes.
And so it goes.
Besides that, I've been inspired to do a lot more writing. A few months ago, I started subscribing to a website called newspapers.com. I'd heard of it before, when I was teaching, but I didn't subscribe because I didn't think I could get my money's worth out of it. In one of my "fact-finding missions" I do researching sometimes, I discovered an article on the site and it suddenly dawned on me... I could use it to help me with Hee Haw, country music history, Frank Sutton history, Ridgetop history, and the list goes on. We're playing this coming Saturday night, the 25th, in Dickson, TN, at the VFW. I don't know the time, I would guess 8:00 pm, but I will try to get that updated ASAP. I also want to get the Brewer's Chapel page updated. In the next few months we will be getting a new pastor. This is pretty standard procedure, Methodists switch out pastors every few years and our pastor's getting ready to retire. He has had some health issues in the past, but this past year has been particularly hard on him. I am not sure what to expect from our new pastor, but we have had this website for a long time that I haven't been updating, and I think if we want more younger people involved in the church, a strong web presence would be a good thing... and that includes getting control of the Brewer's Chapel Facebook page. A former pastor started it, which is cool, but since he's somewhere else, we need to get that. I don't mind updating it, either, as long as I don't have to tweet!
Those two things alone would be plenty of writing, but the Hee Haw page needs some serious updating too. One of those days off this week I will go to Springfield, to the library to do some research, and to take some pictures of the Royal Inn before it gets torn down. Now, it may be years before they tear the place down, but it could be tomorrow! There is a man named James Lileks, a writer and reporter in Minneapolis who has a website with motel postcards, etc. Really, he has a veritable treasure trove of modern American history. I need to send him a picture of the Royal Inn if I can get one before they tear it down, since he has one from there. Maybe I can send him a link to that pic on the FB "You Know You're From Springfield, TN if..." page, too. I'm sure Bill Jones would enjoy Lileks' webpage. It'd also be good if I can get it on my Royalty page too.
So I have a lot of exciting ideas for my webpages. Another idea I'm considering is oral history type stuff, or interviews with older folks. I think there are organizations like libraries that have organized programs for this, so I'll have to check into it. Another oral history idea I have is doing people's memories it Brewers Chapel in a online type thing, maybe on the web page.
But if you will, bear with me a couple of weeks because I'm scheduled to take the MRI registry exam on Friday, March 31. I will be doing a lot of studying for that in the next couple weeks. After that, I plan to be writing a lot. Of course, if I'm working in MRI a lot at that time, then I won't really have a lot of time to work on writing then either, but I'm pretty motivated right now. I've discovered that I can dictate while I'm driving. I can set up the phone and the iPad both to record my dictation, and I can also use the voice recognition to record on the other one so I can put them together when I get home. That's what I've done today. It's taken me some time, but I still have several hours before I have to go to bed, so I can study after dinner.
So I have a lot of big plans for my writing and webpages. I know, I say that about once a year, but maybe God is trying to tell me something.
For one thing, I'm not getting a lot of work hours right now, and this was supposed to be one of my busy times. In February, I had 21.5 weekdays scheduled to work in March. By March 1, two days had already been canceled. On March 3, a tech called about her upcoming some surgery, which will put her out 8 weeks. She works 4 days a week. Of course, I have some days I'm scheduled to go other places. I can only be one place at a time, but the lead tech knows this, and I'm sure they'll work out the details when it gets a little closer.
On March 6, I learned that I wouldn't be needed on the 7th as well as the 12th through the 15th. They also cancelled 4 more weeks scattered through the rest of the year at that location. On the 7th, I learned they could not use me on the 8th. I called the CPR office and was able to pick up a few days there. That day, the surgery date was set for the above-mentioned tech, so I was able to make some plans, which included two days of teaching CPR, including the 13th and 14th. Naturally, as soon as I did that, a coworker asked if I could work on the 14th, so I canceled that day too. A few hours later, the lead tech asked if I could work on the 13th. I told her that I had just canceled 3 CPR days and I need CPR to keep the wolf from the door during the slow times, but I'd work in the morning if she needed me to, and she took me up on that. So, I ended up working a half a day on the 13th, then rushing over to teach CPR. On my way home, I got a text message saying that they did not need me on the 14th after all. Unfortunately, they didn't need me to teach CPR by then either. Last night they called me in to work today, where I learned that I am no longer needed Wednesday through Friday. So I was planning to work 21.5 days and I'll end up with 13.5, unless something changes.
And so it goes.
Besides that, I've been inspired to do a lot more writing. A few months ago, I started subscribing to a website called newspapers.com. I'd heard of it before, when I was teaching, but I didn't subscribe because I didn't think I could get my money's worth out of it. In one of my "fact-finding missions" I do researching sometimes, I discovered an article on the site and it suddenly dawned on me... I could use it to help me with Hee Haw, country music history, Frank Sutton history, Ridgetop history, and the list goes on. We're playing this coming Saturday night, the 25th, in Dickson, TN, at the VFW. I don't know the time, I would guess 8:00 pm, but I will try to get that updated ASAP. I also want to get the Brewer's Chapel page updated. In the next few months we will be getting a new pastor. This is pretty standard procedure, Methodists switch out pastors every few years and our pastor's getting ready to retire. He has had some health issues in the past, but this past year has been particularly hard on him. I am not sure what to expect from our new pastor, but we have had this website for a long time that I haven't been updating, and I think if we want more younger people involved in the church, a strong web presence would be a good thing... and that includes getting control of the Brewer's Chapel Facebook page. A former pastor started it, which is cool, but since he's somewhere else, we need to get that. I don't mind updating it, either, as long as I don't have to tweet!
Those two things alone would be plenty of writing, but the Hee Haw page needs some serious updating too. One of those days off this week I will go to Springfield, to the library to do some research, and to take some pictures of the Royal Inn before it gets torn down. Now, it may be years before they tear the place down, but it could be tomorrow! There is a man named James Lileks, a writer and reporter in Minneapolis who has a website with motel postcards, etc. Really, he has a veritable treasure trove of modern American history. I need to send him a picture of the Royal Inn if I can get one before they tear it down, since he has one from there. Maybe I can send him a link to that pic on the FB "You Know You're From Springfield, TN if..." page, too. I'm sure Bill Jones would enjoy Lileks' webpage. It'd also be good if I can get it on my Royalty page too.
So I have a lot of exciting ideas for my webpages. Another idea I'm considering is oral history type stuff, or interviews with older folks. I think there are organizations like libraries that have organized programs for this, so I'll have to check into it. Another oral history idea I have is doing people's memories it Brewers Chapel in a online type thing, maybe on the web page.
But if you will, bear with me a couple of weeks because I'm scheduled to take the MRI registry exam on Friday, March 31. I will be doing a lot of studying for that in the next couple weeks. After that, I plan to be writing a lot. Of course, if I'm working in MRI a lot at that time, then I won't really have a lot of time to work on writing then either, but I'm pretty motivated right now. I've discovered that I can dictate while I'm driving. I can set up the phone and the iPad both to record my dictation, and I can also use the voice recognition to record on the other one so I can put them together when I get home. That's what I've done today. It's taken me some time, but I still have several hours before I have to go to bed, so I can study after dinner.
Friday, December 09, 2016
me and my drum
Have I written about this song? It's on TV right now. It was playing in the room when my grandfather passed away... in a few days that will have been seven years. Or as he would say it, seb'm years. I miss him all the time.
My blog hasn't been very active lately. My focus of late has been set on preparing for the ARRT MRI registry. I still have about 90 procedures to log before I can take the test, and it isn't something you just walk in and do before you've seen 10 of them. It's not like what I do in nucs, which is so repetitive and so ingrained into my brain that I can actually focus more on taking care of my patients and doing the many other things that are part of the job. I do hope I can work at least part-time hours in MRI for my current employer, because I've been a part of that environment and I really, really like the pace and the interaction with the emergency room there.
I want to write about so much more. I want to write about medicine, and education, and places and people and fiction and non-fiction. I want to keep teaching CPR and doing nucs and MRI and hopefully some TEE too, although I think they're more likely to get one of the heart station techs for that. I like being there. I like what I do for a living. I like doing it there and in the capacity I do because it is a good pace for me. I'm getting old and I need all the help I can get.
So tonight I'm writing about writing. I have been journaling as I usually do, documenting everything from my desire to drink a whole quart of boiled custard (not something I would recommend for a diabetic) to details of Randy's eye disease. For me writing is not just something I do to document history or to tell stories, it's something that helps me sort through the insanity that runs through my brain.
My brain has caused me a lot of trouble, which I'm trying to turn into something a little more constructive. Depression, or bipolar disorder if you believe the most current diagnosis (and I do), has taken its toll on me and this house. Chronic pain hasn't helped either. Diabetic neuropathy has been horrible to me. I'm not quite as heavy as I was, but I'm more crippled by it along with the degenerative changes I've had, like plantar fasciitis, arthritis, avascular necrosis, and other issues. And somehow during the years of constant lesson planning and grading and exhaustion, I totally lost control of this house and my finances. I've been working on the house, not just to create a more writing-conducive environment but because I need to organize the budget and paperwork. It's really not that we can't pay the bills anymore, because we do a pretty good job of it. I just need to get ready for the day when I can't drive to Nashville anymore, when it's time to move to assisted living or what have you. Hopefully, that day is a long ways off.
Today I cleaned under my son's old bed and then moved the queen mattress and box springs into his old room. I have a place for the twin mattress and frame and the old box spring is ready for the dump. I have a box spring for the twin where it's going. I moved my old recliner and took a TV into the kitchen/office and I am set up to get this room and all its paperwork under control so I can get out of debt. I do see that as a possibility someday and it excites me. Getting in there and working was exciting for me too. So hopefully, in a few days, I'll be ready to start on some of the projects I think about all the time... like updating all my websites. The Hee Haw almanac and website need a lot of work and I have some real goals to work on. I need to get my ads up to date on all my sites and try to make them pay off a little. I want to sell some of the collectible stuff I have and thin out my collections. I want to write a lot more about country music history because there is a whole lot of it to share. I want to write about not just the health issues I have but also those that are in the news and on the medical TV shows... about health education for health science teachers and college students who are interested in medicine. And music... I want to market myself as well as our band. I want to have information about my health and wellness business. And lest I forget, this is where I sometimes do a little preaching. So watch this space for more...
My blog hasn't been very active lately. My focus of late has been set on preparing for the ARRT MRI registry. I still have about 90 procedures to log before I can take the test, and it isn't something you just walk in and do before you've seen 10 of them. It's not like what I do in nucs, which is so repetitive and so ingrained into my brain that I can actually focus more on taking care of my patients and doing the many other things that are part of the job. I do hope I can work at least part-time hours in MRI for my current employer, because I've been a part of that environment and I really, really like the pace and the interaction with the emergency room there.
I want to write about so much more. I want to write about medicine, and education, and places and people and fiction and non-fiction. I want to keep teaching CPR and doing nucs and MRI and hopefully some TEE too, although I think they're more likely to get one of the heart station techs for that. I like being there. I like what I do for a living. I like doing it there and in the capacity I do because it is a good pace for me. I'm getting old and I need all the help I can get.
So tonight I'm writing about writing. I have been journaling as I usually do, documenting everything from my desire to drink a whole quart of boiled custard (not something I would recommend for a diabetic) to details of Randy's eye disease. For me writing is not just something I do to document history or to tell stories, it's something that helps me sort through the insanity that runs through my brain.
My brain has caused me a lot of trouble, which I'm trying to turn into something a little more constructive. Depression, or bipolar disorder if you believe the most current diagnosis (and I do), has taken its toll on me and this house. Chronic pain hasn't helped either. Diabetic neuropathy has been horrible to me. I'm not quite as heavy as I was, but I'm more crippled by it along with the degenerative changes I've had, like plantar fasciitis, arthritis, avascular necrosis, and other issues. And somehow during the years of constant lesson planning and grading and exhaustion, I totally lost control of this house and my finances. I've been working on the house, not just to create a more writing-conducive environment but because I need to organize the budget and paperwork. It's really not that we can't pay the bills anymore, because we do a pretty good job of it. I just need to get ready for the day when I can't drive to Nashville anymore, when it's time to move to assisted living or what have you. Hopefully, that day is a long ways off.
Today I cleaned under my son's old bed and then moved the queen mattress and box springs into his old room. I have a place for the twin mattress and frame and the old box spring is ready for the dump. I have a box spring for the twin where it's going. I moved my old recliner and took a TV into the kitchen/office and I am set up to get this room and all its paperwork under control so I can get out of debt. I do see that as a possibility someday and it excites me. Getting in there and working was exciting for me too. So hopefully, in a few days, I'll be ready to start on some of the projects I think about all the time... like updating all my websites. The Hee Haw almanac and website need a lot of work and I have some real goals to work on. I need to get my ads up to date on all my sites and try to make them pay off a little. I want to sell some of the collectible stuff I have and thin out my collections. I want to write a lot more about country music history because there is a whole lot of it to share. I want to write about not just the health issues I have but also those that are in the news and on the medical TV shows... about health education for health science teachers and college students who are interested in medicine. And music... I want to market myself as well as our band. I want to have information about my health and wellness business. And lest I forget, this is where I sometimes do a little preaching. So watch this space for more...
Sunday, May 08, 2016
I get a peaceful, easy feeling... and I know you won't let me down.
Hey, y'all... been a long, long time since my last post and probably for good reason. Life has changed forever, and whether that's a good or bad thing is still kind of too soon to know, but it's been great so far. The Rock Star had a gastric bypass in January and since then it's been... well, even before that it got pretty crazy. I could write a book about it, and someday maybe I will. The great part is that, so far, any changes it's made in him have been very positive.
We haven't had a real smooth road. Well, the Rock Star has but I have taken the whole process very hard as it has opened some really bad emotional baggage from years ago. And just like opening luggage that's been closed for a long time, it has been pretty nasty at times. But like washing out old, well-built suitcases and well-made clothes, the end results can be profitable (like selling them in vintage clothing stores). I'm not selling my marriage at the flea market or giving it to the Goodwill. I'm keeping it because by golly, this old suitcase is the bomb.com. But I did get rid of the 50-year-old straws and napkins. The bell bottom jeans are staying too.
I have been through a lot of issues about my body size, and tomorrow I may feel totally different, but I'm in a little better place since I decided to stay away from the scale and focus on looking the best I can for the adventure that day will bring. My diet... well, that's whatever I need to do to keep my blood sugar in a good place. If my blood sugars tend to run over 140, my feet hurt a lot. Now, other things can aggravate the feet too, but if there's no other logical reason (such as a heavy workload or strenuous exercise the previous day, or lack of sleep or an incoming storm or weather change), I look at my blood sugars. I don't check it every day but I do look at it several times a week at different times of the day and if I see it trending upward I keep a close eye on it until I get it under control. I need to exercise more but we've been doing a lot of hiking and in general I try to move more than I did in the past.
And then I didn't end up with one ounce of weight loss, and I thought maybe I needed to have a gastric bypass, but the doctor suggested a change of lifestyle, and I changed it a little more by watching my diet a little closer and moving a tad more, and changing my diet drastically, and then thinking, this is not sustainable... and going through another low point where I felt completely devastated. So several people I talked to said, "Go to another doctor, surely you will find someone who will help you with this," and I realized that I really do not WANT to have a gastric bypass at this point in my life. I may later, if I continue to gain weight even after the lifestyle changes, or if I don't lose any weight at all... but at this point I am not ready for that. I am enjoying the "new" Randy a lot. He seems to be enjoying me too. I have a lot to be thankful for... and one of those things is that Randy likes to do a lot more stuff outside the house and it's really great to get to do that with him.
I'm actually sort of a Cheatham County Rock Star myself these days. Randy's band "Traveler" invited me to be a part of their lineup and I'm happily doing so. Always on the lookout for more gigs and singing opportunities... so keep looking here and on Facebook for updates (www.facebook.com/travelerclarksville).
This week on RFD-TV they're featuring from 2/26/1977, Season 8 episode 22, with guest stars Ernest Tubb and Jody Miller. I'm not sure how I feel about this "Hee Haw" episode... it features Ernest Tubb, which is great, but Buck Owens is singing "Peaceful, Easy Feeling" and I'm not sure how I like that. Funny, though, I may go back and listen to it again sometime so I can feel for some higher harmony. Too bad Don Rich was already gone by the time this came out...
And this song "Roll Me On the Water" by Jody Miller... wow. Those are some risqué lyrics for the 70s. She was cute though. Wonder what ever happened to her??? Well, I wondered and here is what Google told me. http://www.jodymillermusic.com/
Hee Haw salutes Ernest Tubb's hometown of Crisp, Texas! I heard that the Ernest Tubb Record Shop in Music Valley Village has closed. I sure hate that. I wonder what happened to the old tour bus there?
Well... that's not all by any means, but it's a return to the blogging world and I hope someone is glad I shared.
We haven't had a real smooth road. Well, the Rock Star has but I have taken the whole process very hard as it has opened some really bad emotional baggage from years ago. And just like opening luggage that's been closed for a long time, it has been pretty nasty at times. But like washing out old, well-built suitcases and well-made clothes, the end results can be profitable (like selling them in vintage clothing stores). I'm not selling my marriage at the flea market or giving it to the Goodwill. I'm keeping it because by golly, this old suitcase is the bomb.com. But I did get rid of the 50-year-old straws and napkins. The bell bottom jeans are staying too.
I have been through a lot of issues about my body size, and tomorrow I may feel totally different, but I'm in a little better place since I decided to stay away from the scale and focus on looking the best I can for the adventure that day will bring. My diet... well, that's whatever I need to do to keep my blood sugar in a good place. If my blood sugars tend to run over 140, my feet hurt a lot. Now, other things can aggravate the feet too, but if there's no other logical reason (such as a heavy workload or strenuous exercise the previous day, or lack of sleep or an incoming storm or weather change), I look at my blood sugars. I don't check it every day but I do look at it several times a week at different times of the day and if I see it trending upward I keep a close eye on it until I get it under control. I need to exercise more but we've been doing a lot of hiking and in general I try to move more than I did in the past.
And then I didn't end up with one ounce of weight loss, and I thought maybe I needed to have a gastric bypass, but the doctor suggested a change of lifestyle, and I changed it a little more by watching my diet a little closer and moving a tad more, and changing my diet drastically, and then thinking, this is not sustainable... and going through another low point where I felt completely devastated. So several people I talked to said, "Go to another doctor, surely you will find someone who will help you with this," and I realized that I really do not WANT to have a gastric bypass at this point in my life. I may later, if I continue to gain weight even after the lifestyle changes, or if I don't lose any weight at all... but at this point I am not ready for that. I am enjoying the "new" Randy a lot. He seems to be enjoying me too. I have a lot to be thankful for... and one of those things is that Randy likes to do a lot more stuff outside the house and it's really great to get to do that with him.
I'm actually sort of a Cheatham County Rock Star myself these days. Randy's band "Traveler" invited me to be a part of their lineup and I'm happily doing so. Always on the lookout for more gigs and singing opportunities... so keep looking here and on Facebook for updates (www.facebook.com/travelerclarksville).
This week on RFD-TV they're featuring from 2/26/1977, Season 8 episode 22, with guest stars Ernest Tubb and Jody Miller. I'm not sure how I feel about this "Hee Haw" episode... it features Ernest Tubb, which is great, but Buck Owens is singing "Peaceful, Easy Feeling" and I'm not sure how I like that. Funny, though, I may go back and listen to it again sometime so I can feel for some higher harmony. Too bad Don Rich was already gone by the time this came out...
And this song "Roll Me On the Water" by Jody Miller... wow. Those are some risqué lyrics for the 70s. She was cute though. Wonder what ever happened to her??? Well, I wondered and here is what Google told me. http://www.jodymillermusic.com/
Hee Haw salutes Ernest Tubb's hometown of Crisp, Texas! I heard that the Ernest Tubb Record Shop in Music Valley Village has closed. I sure hate that. I wonder what happened to the old tour bus there?
Well... that's not all by any means, but it's a return to the blogging world and I hope someone is glad I shared.
Sunday, August 02, 2015
Working for a living...
So tonight I'm sitting here halfway watching TV and halfway working. I need to figure out how much work I need to do outside of my part-time jobs this week. But Hee Haw is on! That's actually pretty good inspiration for working on webpages. I'm doing nukes tomorrow. I've got a doctor appointment Tuesday and then working afterward, then all day Wednesday, and teaching CPR the end of the week in Springfield and at Vandy. This is my "audition" with Vandy so I hope I "pass."
I figure blogging is a good start to my workweek.
Tonight's the weekly Arbonne sales call for our team. I have asked two people to host for me in the last 2 days, 3 really, but 2 are hosting together. They scheduled a date for me, next month, but that's all right... better than no date at all. The third didn't, yet, but maybe soon. I'm going to make some ads to put on my pages. I don't like to work too much on Sundays... I think we all need to rest one day a week if we can.
I'm pushing the 80/20 rule on eating. I'm only following about 50/50 right now! No, maybe 60/40. I'm working at it. I went to the Y in Clarksville today and that was a good thing.
I figure blogging is a good start to my workweek.
Tonight's the weekly Arbonne sales call for our team. I have asked two people to host for me in the last 2 days, 3 really, but 2 are hosting together. They scheduled a date for me, next month, but that's all right... better than no date at all. The third didn't, yet, but maybe soon. I'm going to make some ads to put on my pages. I don't like to work too much on Sundays... I think we all need to rest one day a week if we can.
I'm pushing the 80/20 rule on eating. I'm only following about 50/50 right now! No, maybe 60/40. I'm working at it. I went to the Y in Clarksville today and that was a good thing.
Friday, July 31, 2015
Money can't buy everything, it's true, what it don't get, I can't use.
That's not completely true... but I'm still thinking about it. Money is on my mind. I'm hiring. What? Seriously, I'm an Arbonne International Independent Consultant, and I'm looking for copycats who want to make money. LOL Is it fast money? It hasn't been in my case. But I'm in this for the long haul, and August is going to be a great month. I'm really looking forward to recruiting some new consultants. Arbonne is a great company. Yes, I drink the koolaid every day! LOL They don't sell Kool-Aid. What they do have is a product called Energy Fizz Sticks that come in pomegranate and citrus flavors. I'm a big fan of them! My website is marisabush.arbonne.com... more later...
Sunday, March 09, 2014
Two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one...
I'd planned to use this post to document my progress on the "40 bags in 40 days" project for Lent. You know, 40 bags of decluttering... however, I've been working a lot! I didn't do any decluttering on Ash Wednesday because I went to Randy's mom's house for dinner, but I DID clean up Sonny's bathroom and that WAS one bag of trash.
On Day 2 of Lent I cleaned off the bathroom counter. Photos to come later. Three bags resulted from that - one trash bag and two smaller gift bags, one for each child.
I went back to work after all the snow on Friday, and then worked in home health Friday night. I worked Saturday morning and evening, and in between I went to Nashville and took back the rental car and finally got my car back, went to eat with Randy, his mom, his sister and her friend, and went to the karaoke pizza place. Today I worked in the morning, napped awhile in the afternoon, and have been lazy, watching TV and playing online since. So I guess I'm three days behind, because I really shouldn't count all three bags from Thursday.
Well... that's all I've got to say about that, so far. More later...
On Day 2 of Lent I cleaned off the bathroom counter. Photos to come later. Three bags resulted from that - one trash bag and two smaller gift bags, one for each child.
I went back to work after all the snow on Friday, and then worked in home health Friday night. I worked Saturday morning and evening, and in between I went to Nashville and took back the rental car and finally got my car back, went to eat with Randy, his mom, his sister and her friend, and went to the karaoke pizza place. Today I worked in the morning, napped awhile in the afternoon, and have been lazy, watching TV and playing online since. So I guess I'm three days behind, because I really shouldn't count all three bags from Thursday.
Well... that's all I've got to say about that, so far. More later...
Sunday, March 02, 2014
One more time for all of the old times!
Yesterday I worked in home health and in my free time (and afterward) I did some karaoke "hopping." My first stop was Knight's Pizza in Greenbrier. They need a web page! Hey, if y'all are reading this and you need a web page, let me know by posting a reply to this post and I will get you started cheap!
The next place I went, after work, was CJ's Grille in White House. These folks need a web page too, but they DO have a Facebook page. I put the other link in just because I know not everybody does Facebook. For that matter there are still a few people who don't use the Internet all the time like I do.
All that singing had me in a great mood going from my first patient's house to my second and going home too, although by then the singing was over because the voice was tired. Of course I really enjoy doing home health, but some days the driving gets tedious and occasionally I am in a lot of pain from beginning to end and sometimes the next day as well.
Today there was church and then dinner at Logan's in Clarksville. Since then it's been a day for curling up on the couch and halfway watching a movie with Randy (Machete Kills - wouldn't have been my choice, but it's got a huge cast and it's somewhat entertaining. I would rate it NC17 for violence and language, but it's certainly not boring.). It's cold and rainy here, and we've just begun to get thunder. Thunder snows are rare. I haven't heard any sleet, but hopefully it will just go straight to 3 or 4 inches of snow and we won't have any of this "wintry mix" we keep hearing about.
The first time I remember hearing thunder when it was snowing was when I was almost 11. Mom was very, very pregnant with Garner and that winter had been particularly bad. It was 1978,one of those years we ran out of snow days and some of those snows were over six inches. It was a sort of scary afternoon, and we needed our clothes washed, and we didn't have a washer and dryer in our apartment so we got in the VW and went to the laundromat in Greenbrier. (Now, there is a laundromat within walking distance!) Dad came up there looking for us because we weren't home and the weather was horrible. Everything was all right. We were just hurrying to get everything done so we could get home out of the elements. By the way, the website I used for that 1978 link is pretty cool. One can easily compare the data from the past to the future to see if they still believe in global warming, or just to prove that yes, dear, we did get deeper snows and more of them in the '70s. Don't ask me why.
Here's a healthcare funny I might share with my students. What if the doctor wore the johnny?
The next place I went, after work, was CJ's Grille in White House. These folks need a web page too, but they DO have a Facebook page. I put the other link in just because I know not everybody does Facebook. For that matter there are still a few people who don't use the Internet all the time like I do.
All that singing had me in a great mood going from my first patient's house to my second and going home too, although by then the singing was over because the voice was tired. Of course I really enjoy doing home health, but some days the driving gets tedious and occasionally I am in a lot of pain from beginning to end and sometimes the next day as well.
Today there was church and then dinner at Logan's in Clarksville. Since then it's been a day for curling up on the couch and halfway watching a movie with Randy (Machete Kills - wouldn't have been my choice, but it's got a huge cast and it's somewhat entertaining. I would rate it NC17 for violence and language, but it's certainly not boring.). It's cold and rainy here, and we've just begun to get thunder. Thunder snows are rare. I haven't heard any sleet, but hopefully it will just go straight to 3 or 4 inches of snow and we won't have any of this "wintry mix" we keep hearing about.
The first time I remember hearing thunder when it was snowing was when I was almost 11. Mom was very, very pregnant with Garner and that winter had been particularly bad. It was 1978,one of those years we ran out of snow days and some of those snows were over six inches. It was a sort of scary afternoon, and we needed our clothes washed, and we didn't have a washer and dryer in our apartment so we got in the VW and went to the laundromat in Greenbrier. (Now, there is a laundromat within walking distance!) Dad came up there looking for us because we weren't home and the weather was horrible. Everything was all right. We were just hurrying to get everything done so we could get home out of the elements. By the way, the website I used for that 1978 link is pretty cool. One can easily compare the data from the past to the future to see if they still believe in global warming, or just to prove that yes, dear, we did get deeper snows and more of them in the '70s. Don't ask me why.
Here's a healthcare funny I might share with my students. What if the doctor wore the johnny?
Sunday, March 31, 2013
He's Alive!
Happy Easter everybody! I had a great Easter, though I didn't feel too great. I ate a good breakfast and didn't feel much like eating lunch (but I did). Since then I have just snacked a bit. We went to Sunrise Service and then to regular worship where we sang in the cantata. Then we went to Randy's mom's for lunch, with Rachel. D had to work.
I really just wanted to post that I decided last week to put off working on the PhD until next year, if at all. I was 22 when I got my BS, and I'll be 46 when I get my MAEd. At that rate I'll be 70 when I get my PhD, and that's OK. I don't know that I'll wait that long, but I don't know that I'll get it at all. Maybe when I am not in school I will enjoy teaching more. We shall see. Part of me would like to get a degree in counseling also... my interest is in psychology and neuroscience... but we shall see. I don't know that I have to get more formal education to learn more.
I really just wanted to post that I decided last week to put off working on the PhD until next year, if at all. I was 22 when I got my BS, and I'll be 46 when I get my MAEd. At that rate I'll be 70 when I get my PhD, and that's OK. I don't know that I'll wait that long, but I don't know that I'll get it at all. Maybe when I am not in school I will enjoy teaching more. We shall see. Part of me would like to get a degree in counseling also... my interest is in psychology and neuroscience... but we shall see. I don't know that I have to get more formal education to learn more.
Saturday, December 01, 2012
Come fly away, let's fly, let's fly away...
Are you familiar with the FlyLady? I have been a fledgling off-and-on for awhile. I don't usually like adhering to a "system" unless it's something I've designed myself (for example, I go through my list every morning - I made it up one summer when I was having a hard time getting up at a "decent" hour and getting ready to go anywhere - for some reason I have no problem remembering "Tea, hair, meds, dress, teeth, eat, phone."). So, I've struggled with sticking to the FlyLady system too.
A lot of people who know me probably think I am fairly organized. Most of them might be surprised if they came to my house and saw it in the pigsty condition in which it usually stays. Many things have contributed to this. It started when I was working part-time at NorthCrest and I felt guilty because I didn't have my house clean all the time. Well, I guess really it started before that. I was "born organized" as FlyBabies say, but when I started dating Randy I discovered that one could survive while flying by the seat of the pants (Not to be confused with "FLYing.") not just where cleaning is concerned but in many other ways as well. A few years later I wanted to fill my house with more little ones - so I ended up with 3 cats and a dog - and my house got messier and messier. Then my health started interfering, where I couldn't stand up for long periods of time. And somewhere in there my work schedule started interfering too. Not only was I working at home just to keep up, I was taking online classes... and of course I had to rebel and do nothing to "relax."
So the house is a wreck.
I REALLY want to clean it up and post pictures of before and after. I am not sure I want people to know how bad it is, but maybe once I get it under control I'll be okay with it. One challenge I have is that it's kind of like catching up on your laundry or your dishes or for us teachers, catching up all the grading... just because you get it completely clean (or caught up) doesn't mean you never have to clean it again. It's a constant job; it never really ends. The FlyLady system has a lot of built-in routines to address this issue. I am going to try it again. Now if this works I will have to write another blog entry about self-discipline and the Word of God... but more on that later.
A lot of people who know me probably think I am fairly organized. Most of them might be surprised if they came to my house and saw it in the pigsty condition in which it usually stays. Many things have contributed to this. It started when I was working part-time at NorthCrest and I felt guilty because I didn't have my house clean all the time. Well, I guess really it started before that. I was "born organized" as FlyBabies say, but when I started dating Randy I discovered that one could survive while flying by the seat of the pants (Not to be confused with "FLYing.") not just where cleaning is concerned but in many other ways as well. A few years later I wanted to fill my house with more little ones - so I ended up with 3 cats and a dog - and my house got messier and messier. Then my health started interfering, where I couldn't stand up for long periods of time. And somewhere in there my work schedule started interfering too. Not only was I working at home just to keep up, I was taking online classes... and of course I had to rebel and do nothing to "relax."
So the house is a wreck.
I REALLY want to clean it up and post pictures of before and after. I am not sure I want people to know how bad it is, but maybe once I get it under control I'll be okay with it. One challenge I have is that it's kind of like catching up on your laundry or your dishes or for us teachers, catching up all the grading... just because you get it completely clean (or caught up) doesn't mean you never have to clean it again. It's a constant job; it never really ends. The FlyLady system has a lot of built-in routines to address this issue. I am going to try it again. Now if this works I will have to write another blog entry about self-discipline and the Word of God... but more on that later.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Come on sugar, let me know!
Not really... the other day I thought, "Do ya think I'm sexy" would be a cool title for a blog entry... but next thing you know I'd be getting responses of naked people. So I just put those words in the blog itself, and I'll take my chances.
Actually I have nothing sexy at all to tell in this post.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am thankful for many things in my life. The $54 it cost to get Derek's car fixed - really thankful for that! Praise God and thanks to Auto Service of Pleasant View.
Going to my brother's house for the big day tomorrow and may go to Dad's for awhile too.
A few weeks ago I got the urge - the quite sudden urge - to start working with pottery. It was like I suddenly wanted to work with a pottery wheel. I did some molding with clay, and I enjoyed that to some extent, but there aren't many real pottery classes around here. So one day I thought I'd go to Hobby Lobby and see what kind of craft supplies they had and suddenly, I didn't want to do that anymore. I decided to get back into crocheting. I'm glad I did. I am enjoying it even though all I've done so far is make a "bootie" for myself. My feet get cold easily and then they hurt, but they hurt really bad if I wear socks! So I'm making "booties" to wear around the house. I may even line them with memory foam because they would then be a little more supportive for my arches and then the yarn wouldn't hurt my feet either. (I have plenty of room in this first one I made.)
Actually I have nothing sexy at all to tell in this post.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am thankful for many things in my life. The $54 it cost to get Derek's car fixed - really thankful for that! Praise God and thanks to Auto Service of Pleasant View.
Going to my brother's house for the big day tomorrow and may go to Dad's for awhile too.
A few weeks ago I got the urge - the quite sudden urge - to start working with pottery. It was like I suddenly wanted to work with a pottery wheel. I did some molding with clay, and I enjoyed that to some extent, but there aren't many real pottery classes around here. So one day I thought I'd go to Hobby Lobby and see what kind of craft supplies they had and suddenly, I didn't want to do that anymore. I decided to get back into crocheting. I'm glad I did. I am enjoying it even though all I've done so far is make a "bootie" for myself. My feet get cold easily and then they hurt, but they hurt really bad if I wear socks! So I'm making "booties" to wear around the house. I may even line them with memory foam because they would then be a little more supportive for my arches and then the yarn wouldn't hurt my feet either. (I have plenty of room in this first one I made.)
Thursday, May 24, 2012
SI wk 0 day 6: School's out for summer
Not quite forever just yet...
I really enjoyed my day today. I wasn't at school all that long and I came home and piddled around here after that. I decided that every day I'm going to try to do several things.
One, I'm going to do something each day to improve my health. Today... well, I ate broccoli and cheese for supper, along with baked beans. Not the healthiest meal but not the worst either. I didn't exercise today because my feet have hurt just about all day. I relaxed. Isn't that good?
Two, I'm going to do something fun every day, or some kind of treat to myself. Now you have to realize that I can have fun with a lot of different things! I did several fun things today. I watched "The Women of SNL" which was pretty funny. I've relaxed on the hammock several times (isn't that healthy too?). I worked on my Jux account, because I'm thinking about trying to sell some medical photography. Maybe...
Three, I'm doing something school-related each day because I have lots of good ideas and I'd like to get ahead of the game. I had to set a limit on that - no more than four hours a day. There will be days when I have to do more than four hours a day, because of professional development and such. I'm excited though. Today was a half-day so there was my four hours.
Four, I'm going to do something spiritual every day. That's sort of broad... a lot of things fit in here. Doing something for somebody would fit, as would singing in a nursing home. Could I count meditating in the hammock here?
Finally, I'm going to do something for the home each day. I washed dishes and a load of clothes. I folded a load of clothes, and I dusted the dresser in the master bedroom. I had to deal with Sonny's urine... don't want to talk about that. I haven't done a lot of housework but I've done something today and will improve tomorrow.
I really enjoyed my day today. I wasn't at school all that long and I came home and piddled around here after that. I decided that every day I'm going to try to do several things.
One, I'm going to do something each day to improve my health. Today... well, I ate broccoli and cheese for supper, along with baked beans. Not the healthiest meal but not the worst either. I didn't exercise today because my feet have hurt just about all day. I relaxed. Isn't that good?
Two, I'm going to do something fun every day, or some kind of treat to myself. Now you have to realize that I can have fun with a lot of different things! I did several fun things today. I watched "The Women of SNL" which was pretty funny. I've relaxed on the hammock several times (isn't that healthy too?). I worked on my Jux account, because I'm thinking about trying to sell some medical photography. Maybe...
Three, I'm doing something school-related each day because I have lots of good ideas and I'd like to get ahead of the game. I had to set a limit on that - no more than four hours a day. There will be days when I have to do more than four hours a day, because of professional development and such. I'm excited though. Today was a half-day so there was my four hours.
Four, I'm going to do something spiritual every day. That's sort of broad... a lot of things fit in here. Doing something for somebody would fit, as would singing in a nursing home. Could I count meditating in the hammock here?
Finally, I'm going to do something for the home each day. I washed dishes and a load of clothes. I folded a load of clothes, and I dusted the dresser in the master bedroom. I had to deal with Sonny's urine... don't want to talk about that. I haven't done a lot of housework but I've done something today and will improve tomorrow.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Summer improvements week 0 day 2: I don't wanna work... or maybe I do
Today I have mostly been lazy. We had our church homecoming today, which was nice. I messed up my song, and I was already a bit emotional when another soloist got choked up singing his, which obviously reminded him of his grandmother who died in February. His dad, too, was emotional when the time came for him to dedicate the gift from the memorial fund in her memory so the tears flowed freely today.
After that, a huge unhealthy meal and since then a long nap and then the runs and during that time a good read of a book about neuropathy. I have had a tough time with neuropathy lately. I have always tended to be a wuss about pain or so I was told. I believed this too until I walked around for 6 hours with a broken ankle and then worked for 3 hours with a broken hand. I don't like pain but I can put up with a lot. This chronic pain of neuropathy has really put a cramp in my life. I can't stand up for long periods of time and I am just getting worse. I have decided that starting now I am going to eat less carbohydrate and sugar. I feel like I need to be on one of those commercials like the people who are young and suffering the effects of smoking. Yes, sugar can do this to you! Give up the candy bars now! And, sigh, the sweet tea. I always liked that more than candy anyhow. I can do candy in moderation. I don't do cheesecake in moderation. Ice cream is a big temptation too. I hope it helps. If nothing else then at least I should lose some weight and maybe then people won't blame my pain on my weight. Sigh. I think I can live with a less wheat based diet. I hope so.
Randy is home after a long shopping trip. I don't know where he has been so I hope this is good. He had been to his mom's. Oh, well, that explains it. THANKS FOR MAKING ME WORRY FOR THREE HOURS. I don't mind him going to his mom's and Lord knows he doesn't have to answer to me for every minute of every day, but he not only was gone for 4.5 hours doing a one hour job, he didn't respond to a text an hour ago. We only live about 20 minutes from his mom. I am not one of those control freaks who keeps her man on a tight leash. If I had been, I probably wouldn't still be married to Randy. Sometimes, though, I feel the need to remind him that he is married and because he lives with someone, occasionally he needs to let us know what he's doing.
I have been so lazy this weekend. I didn't clean house, pay bills, or shop or anything. Well, I DID go to the store yesterday. I hope I have a better attitude. I should. School is out after Tuesday (even though I have to go until Thursday). I never thought I'd be one of those teachers who counted the days until summer vacation. But you really can't help it. It is so stressful when the kids are ready to get out... which is every day, but worst in May. I spent this, my third year, trying to find another job. There, I admit it. I don't think that helped my attitude a bit, but my finances were the harsh reality that teachers just don't make the money nuclear medicine techs do. And, oh, yes, let's not forget I didn't WANT to get out of the field, it just seemed like a better option than where I was when I did... working in an office with uncertainty and no benefits and a toxic environment after being laid off from my dream job. If I hadn't gone into teaching, if I had stayed, I wouldn't have had any hours in December. That would've been a lovely Christmas. Granted, that Christmas sucked anyway (my grandfather died on Dec. 23) but it would've been rough if I hadn't been paid.
It sounds like it'd be easy to find PRN work, but nobody wants to hire a PRN tech who can only work in the summer. They want people who can come in at the drop of a hat anytime (and from my previous experience, who can work all those school holidays so they can be off with their kids). If I had been working somewhere PRN when I started teaching, I could've done it. I really should be glad I'm not doing nucs anymore. My old feet couldn't take it, for starters, and I don't miss working with people in that environment. I mean, I work with complainers (the students) and other adults (the teachers) but it's different. There is less of the "keeping up with the Joneses" because nobody's got any money. There's less drama because we're the grownups (most of the time). I miss patient care, and I wonder if that's not part of my issue, that I'm having to treat myself as a patient. I could work as a CNA but I don't know if I could handle an 8 hour shift on my feet.
There IS a nuc tech opening in Gallatin, 47 miles away. And no, don't suggest that I could move because it is not that simple. Randy has a job about 15 miles from here (and approximately 62 miles from Gallatin) and halfway between the two is... well, it IS in Derek's school district but that would mean selling this place and that is not something that can be done overnight in this neighborhood. Besides we're assuming I'd get the job. A nuc tech can't assume that anymore especially one who is 45 and fat and has a reputation of working here there and everywhere. And has a pretty well known health history. Again losing weight would help, but I couldn't lose it fast enough to help get that job. And then there is Derek's upcoming surgery (hello, patient care skills) and all that entails. I am better off staying put for now and doing transcription when I can, writing, and just hoping being a tech coach and data coach will keep us afloat until I can get my car paid off.
After that, a huge unhealthy meal and since then a long nap and then the runs and during that time a good read of a book about neuropathy. I have had a tough time with neuropathy lately. I have always tended to be a wuss about pain or so I was told. I believed this too until I walked around for 6 hours with a broken ankle and then worked for 3 hours with a broken hand. I don't like pain but I can put up with a lot. This chronic pain of neuropathy has really put a cramp in my life. I can't stand up for long periods of time and I am just getting worse. I have decided that starting now I am going to eat less carbohydrate and sugar. I feel like I need to be on one of those commercials like the people who are young and suffering the effects of smoking. Yes, sugar can do this to you! Give up the candy bars now! And, sigh, the sweet tea. I always liked that more than candy anyhow. I can do candy in moderation. I don't do cheesecake in moderation. Ice cream is a big temptation too. I hope it helps. If nothing else then at least I should lose some weight and maybe then people won't blame my pain on my weight. Sigh. I think I can live with a less wheat based diet. I hope so.
Randy is home after a long shopping trip. I don't know where he has been so I hope this is good. He had been to his mom's. Oh, well, that explains it. THANKS FOR MAKING ME WORRY FOR THREE HOURS. I don't mind him going to his mom's and Lord knows he doesn't have to answer to me for every minute of every day, but he not only was gone for 4.5 hours doing a one hour job, he didn't respond to a text an hour ago. We only live about 20 minutes from his mom. I am not one of those control freaks who keeps her man on a tight leash. If I had been, I probably wouldn't still be married to Randy. Sometimes, though, I feel the need to remind him that he is married and because he lives with someone, occasionally he needs to let us know what he's doing.
I have been so lazy this weekend. I didn't clean house, pay bills, or shop or anything. Well, I DID go to the store yesterday. I hope I have a better attitude. I should. School is out after Tuesday (even though I have to go until Thursday). I never thought I'd be one of those teachers who counted the days until summer vacation. But you really can't help it. It is so stressful when the kids are ready to get out... which is every day, but worst in May. I spent this, my third year, trying to find another job. There, I admit it. I don't think that helped my attitude a bit, but my finances were the harsh reality that teachers just don't make the money nuclear medicine techs do. And, oh, yes, let's not forget I didn't WANT to get out of the field, it just seemed like a better option than where I was when I did... working in an office with uncertainty and no benefits and a toxic environment after being laid off from my dream job. If I hadn't gone into teaching, if I had stayed, I wouldn't have had any hours in December. That would've been a lovely Christmas. Granted, that Christmas sucked anyway (my grandfather died on Dec. 23) but it would've been rough if I hadn't been paid.
It sounds like it'd be easy to find PRN work, but nobody wants to hire a PRN tech who can only work in the summer. They want people who can come in at the drop of a hat anytime (and from my previous experience, who can work all those school holidays so they can be off with their kids). If I had been working somewhere PRN when I started teaching, I could've done it. I really should be glad I'm not doing nucs anymore. My old feet couldn't take it, for starters, and I don't miss working with people in that environment. I mean, I work with complainers (the students) and other adults (the teachers) but it's different. There is less of the "keeping up with the Joneses" because nobody's got any money. There's less drama because we're the grownups (most of the time). I miss patient care, and I wonder if that's not part of my issue, that I'm having to treat myself as a patient. I could work as a CNA but I don't know if I could handle an 8 hour shift on my feet.
There IS a nuc tech opening in Gallatin, 47 miles away. And no, don't suggest that I could move because it is not that simple. Randy has a job about 15 miles from here (and approximately 62 miles from Gallatin) and halfway between the two is... well, it IS in Derek's school district but that would mean selling this place and that is not something that can be done overnight in this neighborhood. Besides we're assuming I'd get the job. A nuc tech can't assume that anymore especially one who is 45 and fat and has a reputation of working here there and everywhere. And has a pretty well known health history. Again losing weight would help, but I couldn't lose it fast enough to help get that job. And then there is Derek's upcoming surgery (hello, patient care skills) and all that entails. I am better off staying put for now and doing transcription when I can, writing, and just hoping being a tech coach and data coach will keep us afloat until I can get my car paid off.
All I did to improve the house today was wash dishes - fair enough, since I dirtied quite a few preparing potato casserole and cookies for church - and sweep the kitchen. I spot-mopped a little of the kitchen floor too.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Summer Improvements Week 0: It's a beautiful morning
I should've started my series on Thursday. That night I had a sink full of dishes that no one had touched for days. I felt bad about it because I hadn't done them... but nobody else here had either! (In my defense, I had transcription work Monday night and Tuesday night and choir practice at church Wednesday night - after working all day at school those days) Thursday night Randy had a dinner for work and I didn't want him to come home to this yet again.My plan was to take pictures as I made progress. I took pictures as I waded through the dishes but didn't take one when I finished! Well, it does look better. With neuropathy, standing for long enough to wash that many in one session is not an option. It took me four short sessions to do it (broken up by laundry-folding sessions) but three hours later I got it all done. So far it still looks pretty good!!!
So today I started my walking program again. There are so many dogs in this subdivision. I don't mind dogs but all the barking... well, if their owners don't like it they shouldn't have dogs, right??? I no longer own a dog. :( I miss my dog. I sometimes worry that people will be annoyed because the dogs are barking at me and it's all my fault for walking. But since most of the neighbors are dog owners, I guess I'm worrying for nothing.I saw a lot of pretty birds today.I don't have a lot planned today. I'm going to graduation tonight, but other than that just getting ready for homecoming, maybe doing a little housekeeping. Not going home tomorrow. so I guess I'll call Mom. I have to go into "town" at some point and deposit a check, get creamer, and I might look for some plants while I'm out. I dreamed I got some... I also dreamed I went to Hawaii.I actually made it all the way around the circle with the exception of the part between my house and the highway, then took a break in the hammock for 10 to 15 minutes, came in and had breakfast (a peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread). Now I've got to get up and take my medicine, change the litter, and just do what comes up!
Thursday, March 08, 2012
live like... you were dying???
The day Derek was born, I called our church (at the time). It was, after all, Wednesday evening and everyone would want to know. The young lady who answered the phone was a high school senior and the daughter of a couple who had made us feel so at home in our short time there. Now Derek is 17, and today that young lady's youngest son died at the age of 10, after fighting a brain tumor for over a year. I had hoped I would catch her to give her a cap Randy got. I'm sorry that I didn't get that cap to her and Andrew.
Shortly after I heard that, I read a blog post by a woman who has lost 200 pounds. It was called "45 Simple Actions to Start Losing Weight." One of the actions: "Deal with Stress." I'm not sure how to do that. I guess I need to figure that out. This woman wrote about the stress she had from her job. I know that feeling. Some days I hate it. This week, I'm trying to get everything done so I won't have to do it during Spring Break, next week. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to get everything in. I planned to go visit Billie and Andrew last weekend. I kept over-extending myself. I stayed too long at Mom's, then at Dad's, on Saturday. Not that I regret that, I don't regret visiting my parents at all... but then I was going to eat at a fundraiser with Randy. I then had to finish a transcription assignment that I didn't complete Friday evening, because I got a late start.
Shortly after I heard that, I read a blog post by a woman who has lost 200 pounds. It was called "45 Simple Actions to Start Losing Weight." One of the actions: "Deal with Stress." I'm not sure how to do that. I guess I need to figure that out. This woman wrote about the stress she had from her job. I know that feeling. Some days I hate it. This week, I'm trying to get everything done so I won't have to do it during Spring Break, next week. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to get everything in. I planned to go visit Billie and Andrew last weekend. I kept over-extending myself. I stayed too long at Mom's, then at Dad's, on Saturday. Not that I regret that, I don't regret visiting my parents at all... but then I was going to eat at a fundraiser with Randy. I then had to finish a transcription assignment that I didn't complete Friday evening, because I got a late start.
Then I had classwork to do before midnight Sunday night. Though I fooled around a little and napped on Sunday afternoon after lunch, I managed to get that done at a reasonable time. Then I didn't leave myself enough time to grade my students' work because when I got through with my classwork I played online Boggle for too long. I gave up Spider Solitaire for Lent and then turned around and started playing Boggle. I am not all that great at it, and last night I decided to give it up too.
Yesterday, a couple of students and I talked about that song, "Live Like You Were Dying." They didn't really get it. I said, you know, we shouldn't live our lives waiting for something to happen later. Live like you're dying doesn't mean lie in the bed waiting for the angels to escort you home. It means live now, instead of putting things off until later. I don't know if I adequately conveyed my feelings. But in the last two weeks, when so many people have died, it means so much more.
I started teaching in August of 2009 and in the whirlwind of never-ending work and the heat of that first classroom, I lost 13 pounds in 3 months. Since then I have put on almost 30 pounds. Oh, it varies from day to day. This morning it was actually 24.5 pounds. And in November 2008, I think I even weighed less than that Nov. 2009 weight. I hate that I've gained so much weight. I don't hate myself and I don't even hate my body, but I need to get in better shape because I want to be healthier. I know a great deal of my problem is stress. I come home, eat, and have to do more work before bed. Some nights (like tonight) I put off working until it's too late. I really don't waste a ton of time on Facebook, but I spend a lot of time looking for that elusive nuclear medicine job, or some other job that promises more money and more time to relax outside of work. Next thing I know, it's 10:30, I haven't read or relaxed, I'm depressed from not finding that "perfect" job, I've still got a sack full of ungraded work and piles of housework to do, and I need to get to bed.
I don't always work as efficiently as I should. Some days I write in my blog and spend 30 minutes on Facebook. I did a lot today and I could do a lot more. I could probably stay up all night. I stayed until 7:00 doing work and grading journals. I have two more classes of journals, posters to grade, and exams to grade. I'm going to bed. I need to start living again.
But I didn't want to turn this into a story about me. I wanted to say, we all need to live like we're dying. We need to live. We need to love. We may need to work too, but we can't keep putting off our lives, because the future isn't promised. Today is a gift and we need to be grateful for it.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Love is in the air...
Probably the most overused blog title on this day. So what?
We celebrated Valentine's Day in the tradition we started the night before Derek was born. It was raining hard that night. I was scheduled to be induced at 7 the next morning. We dropped Rachel, then 2.5, off with Randy's sister Amy & her family. There weren't as many places to eat around here then. We went to Red Lobster, and it was packed. We looked somewhere else, but I can't remember where. Anyway, we finally went to Cracker Barrel and they got us in. We sat at a quiet little table for two with one of those oil lamps... it was very sweet and even a little romantic.
After that, it was kind of hard to get a babysitter for Valentine's Day in the middle of the week. It was just easier to take the kids along and make it a family meal. We haven't done it every year, and Rachel couldn't be with us this year. We talked about it, but Derek was going to a competition today, and we weren't sure when he'd be home. In the meantime, she made plans to go to church tonight. It just didn't time out for us to all go together.
Well, now Randy's going to bed and I'm watching a show about a group that's working against gang violence in Chicago. When I decided to become a teacher, I didn't get into it to be a community changer. I thought I would work at Sycamore, where I could work the hours my kids were in school and be available to go to their sports events and be off when D was practicing for football. And I was, even though I didn't work at Sycamore. But I was teaching in a different universe. I was teaching in South Nashville, where I really felt like I got to know my students and I felt like I was making a difference in the lives of the kids.
I liked it, but when the opportunity to work closer to home came, I took it. I loved my new classroom, but I missed the community. I still miss it, really, but I know there are kids who need help here too. There aren't as many businesses wanting to throw money at the public school system here, but I know a lot of the kids are living in those same types of communities... kids getting shot (there were three young adults shot last semester, most known by many kids from school), kids getting killed in car accidents, kids who are being abused, neglected, you name it. It's a crazy world, and yet, if we'd lived 300 yards east of here, our kids would've been zoned for it. And even though we live 15 miles from the "hood," we only have to look out the living room window to see a lot of the same issues. Our neighbors (and I'm not just talking about the ones in the subdivision) don't look different from us, but they have family in jail, and problems. The mission field is right around me.
We celebrated Valentine's Day in the tradition we started the night before Derek was born. It was raining hard that night. I was scheduled to be induced at 7 the next morning. We dropped Rachel, then 2.5, off with Randy's sister Amy & her family. There weren't as many places to eat around here then. We went to Red Lobster, and it was packed. We looked somewhere else, but I can't remember where. Anyway, we finally went to Cracker Barrel and they got us in. We sat at a quiet little table for two with one of those oil lamps... it was very sweet and even a little romantic.
After that, it was kind of hard to get a babysitter for Valentine's Day in the middle of the week. It was just easier to take the kids along and make it a family meal. We haven't done it every year, and Rachel couldn't be with us this year. We talked about it, but Derek was going to a competition today, and we weren't sure when he'd be home. In the meantime, she made plans to go to church tonight. It just didn't time out for us to all go together.
Well, now Randy's going to bed and I'm watching a show about a group that's working against gang violence in Chicago. When I decided to become a teacher, I didn't get into it to be a community changer. I thought I would work at Sycamore, where I could work the hours my kids were in school and be available to go to their sports events and be off when D was practicing for football. And I was, even though I didn't work at Sycamore. But I was teaching in a different universe. I was teaching in South Nashville, where I really felt like I got to know my students and I felt like I was making a difference in the lives of the kids.
I liked it, but when the opportunity to work closer to home came, I took it. I loved my new classroom, but I missed the community. I still miss it, really, but I know there are kids who need help here too. There aren't as many businesses wanting to throw money at the public school system here, but I know a lot of the kids are living in those same types of communities... kids getting shot (there were three young adults shot last semester, most known by many kids from school), kids getting killed in car accidents, kids who are being abused, neglected, you name it. It's a crazy world, and yet, if we'd lived 300 yards east of here, our kids would've been zoned for it. And even though we live 15 miles from the "hood," we only have to look out the living room window to see a lot of the same issues. Our neighbors (and I'm not just talking about the ones in the subdivision) don't look different from us, but they have family in jail, and problems. The mission field is right around me.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
You gotta have faith.
I have wasted much of this day. That would be all right if I'd had the time to lose, but when you get to be 44 and in the first few years of a career that could potentially take 60 hours a week, and you're in grad school which could potentially take 12 hours a week (or more), there's not much wiggle room. So today I TOTALLY FORGOT that there was a youth group spaghetti dinner tonight until 3 hours before it was to begin... and of course nobody knew the time so I assumed it was 5. Got up there to start boiling spaghetti at 4:30 and nobody was there. Nice. So I came back.
Most of the day I've been in a rotten mood even though I tried very hard not to be. I tried feeding all my needs - enough caffeine, protein, etc. This morning I asked myself what I needed to do to get out of my funky mood and the Partridge Family theme came into my mind. "C'mon, get happy!!!"
Well, for awhile I did okay. Then Randy told me about the spaghetti dinner, WHICH he's not attending with me because he's gone to Outback with his mom. It's the annual UK vs Vandy game, and they're eating out before that. I really wouldn't have wanted him to miss that for the spaghetti dinner. I'd just completely forgotten.
As I was leaving the church (the first time, remember... gotta go back in a few), I thought, what am I gonna do with an hour??? And I saw the sign on the church... "You can do more in one hour with God than in a lifetime without Him." I came home and said, "OK, God, I've got an hour. Can You help a girl out here?" So I've put away folded clothes, written all this, eaten Girl Scout cookies... and I have a few more minutes. You gotta have faith.
Most of the day I've been in a rotten mood even though I tried very hard not to be. I tried feeding all my needs - enough caffeine, protein, etc. This morning I asked myself what I needed to do to get out of my funky mood and the Partridge Family theme came into my mind. "C'mon, get happy!!!"
Well, for awhile I did okay. Then Randy told me about the spaghetti dinner, WHICH he's not attending with me because he's gone to Outback with his mom. It's the annual UK vs Vandy game, and they're eating out before that. I really wouldn't have wanted him to miss that for the spaghetti dinner. I'd just completely forgotten.
As I was leaving the church (the first time, remember... gotta go back in a few), I thought, what am I gonna do with an hour??? And I saw the sign on the church... "You can do more in one hour with God than in a lifetime without Him." I came home and said, "OK, God, I've got an hour. Can You help a girl out here?" So I've put away folded clothes, written all this, eaten Girl Scout cookies... and I have a few more minutes. You gotta have faith.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
School's out for...two weeks!
Today I've been a sleepyhead. I think I deserve to be. I've been in school and teaching school and sleep has been a luxury. I HAVE done some work around here & in a few I'll do a little more. I need to do some serious writing today, a little bit of record keeping, and a little research for my at-home job...in addition to a little more cleaning and laundry.
My wonderful rock star is on a grocery run. D is watching "Lost" & Rach is still asleep. I have really appreciated the rock star this week.
Sometimes it takes a drastic thing to make me appreciate what's unique about him. Last weekend the brother of a high school friend died. I remember him but didn't really know him. I went to the funeral home. He was president of his motorcycle club. For those who aren't into the biker culture, this means he was into that lifestyle. The funeral home parking lot was filled with bikes and leather, long grey beards and smoke. The pallbearers had names like Dirt and Birddog. To be quite honest, I was impressed with the organization and the care they took to do everything just right. Bikers seem to like Randy's bands. I have always appreciated that. Maybe there is a part of me that envies that lifestyle. At any rate, I've appreciated more about Randy and his quirks this week
I had decided that my new year's resolution would be to be more creative. I need to lose weight, work out, and be healthier...and maybe I will...but I have so many ideas and so many things I want to learn to do, and I do so little of them. So I'm going to do those things in 2012. I'm going to write more, paint and draw more, maybe write some songs, maybe be more creative in the kitchen. I'm looking forward to this coming year.
My wonderful rock star is on a grocery run. D is watching "Lost" & Rach is still asleep. I have really appreciated the rock star this week.
Sometimes it takes a drastic thing to make me appreciate what's unique about him. Last weekend the brother of a high school friend died. I remember him but didn't really know him. I went to the funeral home. He was president of his motorcycle club. For those who aren't into the biker culture, this means he was into that lifestyle. The funeral home parking lot was filled with bikes and leather, long grey beards and smoke. The pallbearers had names like Dirt and Birddog. To be quite honest, I was impressed with the organization and the care they took to do everything just right. Bikers seem to like Randy's bands. I have always appreciated that. Maybe there is a part of me that envies that lifestyle. At any rate, I've appreciated more about Randy and his quirks this week
I had decided that my new year's resolution would be to be more creative. I need to lose weight, work out, and be healthier...and maybe I will...but I have so many ideas and so many things I want to learn to do, and I do so little of them. So I'm going to do those things in 2012. I'm going to write more, paint and draw more, maybe write some songs, maybe be more creative in the kitchen. I'm looking forward to this coming year.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
How could I be without your love
I really wasn't writing with the intention of waxing poetic about my husband. I couldn't think of a "how to" song that I wanted to post. I like this one, though. It's pretty.
I have spent my evening searching "How To" articles online for help with a class assignment. The hardest part so far has been figuring out what I want to learn. I’m not saying I know how to do everything, because I don’t (as you’ll learn by reading this), but sometimes I feel like I know how to do too many things. I have craft supplies I don’t have time to use, holiday decorations I don’t have time to put out, and websites I don’t have time to maintain. I don’t always have time to go to the grocery store, much less cook. The things I’d like to learn how to do are too complex to learn in a Web tutorial. There are the intangibles, like “How to get a job in a stagnant field from which you were laid off,” or“How to find time to keep your house looking immaculate clean decent while you work full-time, take two graduate courses, raise a teenager, have three indoor pets, support a college student, stay married, and go to church.” Then, there’s the way too involved for the Web stuff, like “How to become a massage therapist,” or “How to make some extra money (for supporting that college student).” I’d like to solve problems. How about, “How to cure cancer,” or “How to stop domestic violence”?
If you’ve read this far, you’re probably thinking I need to find “How to Get a Positive Attitude!”
Seriously…maybe there’s a story there.
I went to Google. I typed in “how to” and then started with a, went to b, c, d, etc. all the way through the alphabet. Did you know you can learn to roll a joint on the Internet? I don’t need to know how to do that. After going through the alphabet I thought I’d start over and type ab, ac, ad, and so forth. You can learn how to abort a baby on the Internet. I would say, “Well, I never!” but unfortunately, I am NOT surprised at that. I didn’t know how valuable some of my knowledge was…such as “How to elope” (been there, done that), “how to flirt” (how do you think I learned how to elope?), “how to give a hickey” (not going there) and “how to do an EKG” (well, I did know that was valuable). Still, I kept going.
I got to “ezine” and almost stopped there, but the thought of adding another responsibility to my list seemed too daunting.
How to hook up a laptop to your TV…hmm…
How to make a QR code…that could be good.
How to build apps for smartphones…NOW WE ARE TALKING.
How to organize your home…maybe this is what I need, really.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
It's not what I did, it's what I didn't do.
First let me say that I'm not referring to my marriage. Right now, that's fine. No complaints.
I picked this song for the title because today I've been bothered a bit by the mistakes I made in the past. While typing that sentence I wondered how many mistakes I've blogged about. I thought I'd read the entries from the month that had the most, July 2007...but I couldn't read them all because I remembered where they led, where I went the next few months. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I got the job I had wanted, the job that ended 18 months later. I had two grandparents living then...I don't have either one now. But that wasn't my fault and neither was the loss of my job. Still, even now I wonder how different my life would be if I'd stayed at Skyline instead of going to Clarksville Cardiology and then Vandy and then Dr. Mishra's and then Glencliff and then Springfield. I don't regret moving from Madisonville, or leaving the VA or leaving Northcrest. I would go back to any of them if offered the right job, but I don't regret any moves before leaving Skyline.
I don't know that regret is the right word for how I feel about the other moves. I had my reasons for leaving all of them. I thought Vandy would give me a more secure future and help get my kids through college. I thought I could make peace with my situation working for Dr. Mishra, but it was everything I didn't like about working in nuclear cardiology. I left the Cliff because I wanted to teach closer to home. I don't regret going to Springfield, and I'm not sure I regret going into teaching, but, I miss working in health care. And, I miss the money I used to make.
Nuclear medicine technology is an oft-misunderstood profession, as I've learned over the years, even since I left the field, as I wrote last night. All those years, I felt like it sounded impressive but it wasn't. Now, I think, that DID sound impressive, and in some ways it was, and all the while, I didn't like it.
I feel like I haven't done much with my life. I've raised two great kids, and for that I'm very happy and thankful. Otherwise, I've spent too much time eating, playing on the computer, driving too much, writing about nonsense, and learning about trivia. I haven't written anything great or accomplished great things either for God or my family. I live from paycheck to paycheck and sometimes fall in the gap in between.
I haven't even made the most of this summer. I haven't cleaned the house as well as I should've, gotten in shape, or done enough fun stuff. Heck, I haven't even worked hard enough, because I haven't planned at all for this coming semester. And, it's coming fast. Not only that, but I've bitten off more than I can chew. But, I've done that for a reason. I have to do what I have to do.
Right now, I need to do laundry. So, I'll write more later.
I picked this song for the title because today I've been bothered a bit by the mistakes I made in the past. While typing that sentence I wondered how many mistakes I've blogged about. I thought I'd read the entries from the month that had the most, July 2007...but I couldn't read them all because I remembered where they led, where I went the next few months. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I got the job I had wanted, the job that ended 18 months later. I had two grandparents living then...I don't have either one now. But that wasn't my fault and neither was the loss of my job. Still, even now I wonder how different my life would be if I'd stayed at Skyline instead of going to Clarksville Cardiology and then Vandy and then Dr. Mishra's and then Glencliff and then Springfield. I don't regret moving from Madisonville, or leaving the VA or leaving Northcrest. I would go back to any of them if offered the right job, but I don't regret any moves before leaving Skyline.
I don't know that regret is the right word for how I feel about the other moves. I had my reasons for leaving all of them. I thought Vandy would give me a more secure future and help get my kids through college. I thought I could make peace with my situation working for Dr. Mishra, but it was everything I didn't like about working in nuclear cardiology. I left the Cliff because I wanted to teach closer to home. I don't regret going to Springfield, and I'm not sure I regret going into teaching, but, I miss working in health care. And, I miss the money I used to make.
Nuclear medicine technology is an oft-misunderstood profession, as I've learned over the years, even since I left the field, as I wrote last night. All those years, I felt like it sounded impressive but it wasn't. Now, I think, that DID sound impressive, and in some ways it was, and all the while, I didn't like it.
I feel like I haven't done much with my life. I've raised two great kids, and for that I'm very happy and thankful. Otherwise, I've spent too much time eating, playing on the computer, driving too much, writing about nonsense, and learning about trivia. I haven't written anything great or accomplished great things either for God or my family. I live from paycheck to paycheck and sometimes fall in the gap in between.
I haven't even made the most of this summer. I haven't cleaned the house as well as I should've, gotten in shape, or done enough fun stuff. Heck, I haven't even worked hard enough, because I haven't planned at all for this coming semester. And, it's coming fast. Not only that, but I've bitten off more than I can chew. But, I've done that for a reason. I have to do what I have to do.
Right now, I need to do laundry. So, I'll write more later.
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