Tuesday, July 10, 2007

At the drive-in

I figured out that the title problem was a Blogger problem. So, it wasn't just happening to me. And here I thought it was my limping old computer.

If I had it my way, me & my family would be living without satellite or cable TV. We'd watch the news, & maybe some old movies. It would save us money, & I'd never have to worry about the kids watching filthy TV shows. The simple answer is, cut off the cable. In reality, not so simple. Simply put, Randy & I do not see eye-to-eye on this issue.

Our upbringings were not so different in most ways. His parents were a little older than mine (his mom is a year older than my dad, but his dad was six years older than my mom), but they all grew up in the 50's & came of age in the 60's & lived in rural areas in Tennessee. They had a lot of the same values. None were rich; some were very poor. There were a few differences. His parents had many siblings. My mom has one brother; my dad had two. Both Randy's parents had parents who divorced - unusual for the time. My dad's parents separated after 30 years of marriage, but never divorced; my mom's parents lived together until my grandmother's death, after 46 years of marriage.

My parents were not big movie-goers. I do recall seeing a handful of movies with my dad, a few more with my mom or my grandmother, & as I got older, quite a lot with my brothers (while Mom was at the mall or something) & with friends. Randy's parents, on the other hand, were BIG movie-goers. His mom still is. They saw EVERYTHING. I'm going to make another post on that subject. His parents demonstrated a long-lasting, committed marriage, while mine divorced after something like 28 years together. Their marriage demonstrated a lot of tenderness & passion, combined with a lot of bitterness & hurt. Well, some things are better left in the past & some relationships just never heal.

One movie we saw as a family was "The Wilderness Family." After seeing this my dad wanted to uproot all of us & move to the wilderness. I was afraid I'd never graduate from third grade. I didn't particularly like school, so I don't know why I wanted to stay where I was.

As an adult, I probably lean more toward that wilderness approach. (I do, however, like air conditioning a LOT. Indoor plumbing is awesome, too.) I would probably homeschool & totally have the kids living in a bubble. But when I was a teenager & a young adult, I didn't want to live in the wild, & neither does Randy. He might like the privacy a zillion acres of woods would bring, & he'd certainly appreciate the beauty, but I think he likes the comfortable world of the recliner & the air conditioner. And let's not forget HBO. He sees nothing wrong with them watching HBO & MTV. He used to be stricter about it. I, too, used to police the kids' TV a lot more, but as they've gotten older, Randy has relaxed the rules a lot. So, policing would not work now. They'd just get up after I go to bed & watch what they want. Randy might watch with them.

I feel like I screwed up - again - by letting down my guard. But, I try to make the best of this. Here's what I do. First, I do TiVo a lot of shows that aren't risque, such as classic country music TV shows & gospel singing shows. I record a lot of them on DVD & share them with my grandmother, who enjoys them, & then I have them for my collection. Another thing I do is TALK TO MY KIDS. When we see something I don't like, I say so. Like, "I hate how in some of these movies people just end up in bed. That is so tacky. And dumb." (And we DON'T watch the sex scenes together! Eww!) Or, "Drugs'll do that to you." Or, "See how people con you into wanting to wear their style of clothes?" I try to turn those moments into teaching opportunities.

So, before you judge someone's lifestyle, remember that they might be practicing submission to their spouse!!!

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