Sunday, January 22, 2012

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday...

I think I've used this song title before, but so what?

Yesterday we had to say goodbye to our Bonnie. She was 13 and in kidney failure, and even if we'd treated her and held on to her a little longer, we would've just had to watch that painful slope downward. It was hard to let her go, but we decided that it was better to go on and do it than to keep dragging it out... for her and for us. It hasn't been easy though. I cried. A LOT. I could cry now, if I let myself, but late night cries are not good for my sinuses and I've got to be on top of things tomorrow. I just have to remind myself that even if we'd brought her home, she would never be her old healthy self again. Three years ago I was pretty sure it would be our last Christmas with her, so I have felt like we were blessed to have her as long as we did.

I am still having terrible problems with my feet. If I have to stand or walk a lot, I may not hurt then, but I pay for it later. That's the worst. I don't like knowing that if I go shopping, I'll have to hurt later (if not sooner). And I'm not talking about a mall marathon, I'm talking about going to the grocery. In all honesty, I'm thinking it's time for me to get a desk job (and no, teaching is NOT a desk job... at least not at my school) but that scares me too. Will I weigh 500 pounds if I don't have to stand up a lot? I read about three medicines, over the counter supplements, that I started yesterday (only after I looked them up for interactions with my current meds). I hope they'll work...

I do entirely too much complaining, so let me tell a happy story. Today we celebrated my mom's birthday. She is 63 and this means she has lived longer than her mom and both her grandmothers did. I used to say I was going to party like nobody's business when I made it to number 63, but now, it'll be no big deal because Mom has been there first. AND THAT IS ALL RIGHT. Now, if you are one of my Facebook friends don't pass that around... I have many more FB friends than I do blog followers so I figure I'm safe to tell her age here, LOL!!!

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