Well, my heart isn't really on fire. My soul may be like a wheel that's turning, but I'll talk about that later. My feet are on fire. They feel like I've been walking around in the snow, which we don't have this week, yet (but we might by Christmas).
I don't talk about this a lot, but I have some health issues, and lately, they have been worse than ever.
First of all, I am a type 2 diabetic.
I was insulin resistant at a very young age - the earliest incidence of it I remember was when I was in 7th grade. I did not understand a lot about that problem and neither did anyone else I knew. I knew that I wasn't SUPPOSED to eat a lot of sugar, but at that time, I thought I just shouldn't be eating at all, which, of course, does not work if you are insulin resistant. So I would try not to eat and then when I got really hungry, I would eat everything in sight. In time, I got over the trying not to eat part. I tried other things. I thought if I ate really big meals that I wouldn't get hungry as quickly. Instead, I got hungry at the same times I always did, but I ate more at meals, so I got bigger and bigger. I dieted from time to time, which helped. I tried the Weigh Down method of only eating when I was hungry, which did help me not to gain weight and I actually lost a little, but I screwed up my blood sugar doing that too. That method says you can eat anything when you are hungry, and not when you are full. So I would eat something high in carbs, have a drop in blood sugar, eat more carbs, sugar low, you get the picture. I would lose 20 pounds, then gain 20 pounds.
Then, at age 37, I went to three different doctors for three different conditions and every one of them said, "Are you diabetic?" I said no, I'd never been told that. After my 38th birthday I went for my annual blood draw at the doctor, I got the news. I had rounded the corner. I got on medication. I didn't crave as many sweets, but I didn't cut them out completely. I started exercising and lost weight and my sugars went down. I got laid off and got a job I hated and gained weight. I got a new job where I sweated a lot and worked 80 hours a week and I lost weight. I got depressed and hurt my foot and I gained it back. Then I got another job and took two graduate courses and I didn't have a free minute to work out. It is just a wonder I am weighing the same as I did in the summer.
For three months I have had higher sugars and now, my provider has upped my dose. Thank God, no insulin yet. I'm trying to avoid that.
Two Thanksgivings ago I got neuropathy. Yay! There's something to be thankful for, NOT!
I will post more on this in my next post which will be tonight! Later.