Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Talk to God, & listen to the casual reply

Name that tune!

If you said "Rocky Mountain High" by John Denver, you are right.

I've been listening to John Denver a lot lately. I'm not sure why. I think it's because it's fall, & that's when "a fire softly burning" & "supper on the stove" sounds pretty good. ("When the sun's comin' up I got cakes on the griddle" sounds promising as well.) I am off work this week & though I don't have a fireplace, I do try to have supper on the stove when Randy gets home if I'm not working. Cakes on the griddle aren't really good for him (blood sugar issues, you know). If he would eat the kind I make with whole wheat & maple syrup instead of that sugary artificial (but really tasty) stuff they put in the bottles shaped like old servant women or log cabins, then he might not have the problems he does with them. But who am I to judge?

Tonight I was a little late with supper & I remembered rather quickly why this is my goal. He was very irritable. I wasn't much better. The combination was unpleasant. I have more ideas for crockpot meals for the future. Maybe he can come home & stir them before he picks Derek up from wrestling practice.

I spent a little time out on the hammock tonight. The light of the full moon mixed with the smoke from the tobacco barn behind us to create a silvery haze. The hanging branches still laden with pin oak leaves glowed with a mystical aura. OK, too much John Denver. But there really aren't words to describe the beauty. Going out there tonight was a good idea, as I told Randy. He was worried that my cold would get worse. I feel like it's getting a little better. I know my attitude has improved too.

I haven't written in a long time, & there's no way I could properly "catch up." So here I am. I hope to do more writing in the near future. I have lots of ideas, but usually, not a lot of time. I have to make time, I guess. I need to make time to "be still & know that (He is) God." (The verse actually says "I am God," but that would've made it look like I was trying to be God...you know what I mean.) To talk to God, & listen to the casual reply.

Tonight while being still I realized a few things. First of all, I was out there at a time I could be out there ANY night. Well, many nights anyway. The nights will soon be colder, but I should take the time to enjoy these nights while I can.

One day at work we were talking about the way we grew up. The three of us who were there that day had grown up in modest situations, not dirt poor but not much better off. I don't think any of us could've been considered "white trash," but I don't know...there are some people who probably would've thought that. But I don't, because we weren't "common" as my Granny used to say, just "ordinary decent people." Anyway, I digress. I said, "You know, there are certain things I really miss about living like I did when I was a kid. Like, I see my neighbors" (and here I add, I am NOT calling them trash, you can infer what you want) "all sitting on the front porch smoking & I think, I miss when I was a little kid & all the grownups sat around in the yard talking...some smoking, some drinking beer." They had things they missed about their childhoods too.

I thought about how many nights & early mornings I have gone out with my dog, Bonnie, & looked up at the many, many stars in the sky. Even with security lights nearby I could make out many of the constellations. Most mornings at 4:30 I am not enjoying myself out there with Bonnie, but I should be. Most mornings when I'm looking at the world through a windshield I am too stressed out, trying to stay awake or eat breakfast while I'm driving or find the right CD to practice with. I do try to enjoy the view. More often, the evening drive has the best views. If it's not dark, the changing colors get prettier every day. For awhile. If it's starting to get dark, the changing sky color is the highlight.

So...what have I learned from this "vacation" that I can take back to my daily rat race?

- to take time to be still & lie on the hammock.

- to enjoy the beauty in the ordinary, every day things.

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