The boy asked me this earlier today. He doesn't understand the pursuit of the perfect loaf of freshly-ground wheat bread, the idea that milk & cheese might be healthier for you if they're unpasteurized, and growing food. He's happy to eat the beef we got from the farm down the road, & doesn't mind the chicken I get from an organic farm, but he doesn't understand. He thinks I should spend my money on a new HDTV instead of organic chicken and whole wheat to grind into flour for homemade bread. I explain that I have to buy groceries anyway, so why not eat it the way God intended? He thinks it makes me weird. Maybe it does. Is that such a bad thing?
I said I wanted to be part of the solution. I meant learning how to stop the epidemic of diabetes. He & Rachel thought it sounded pretentious. I guess it did. I told them that I just want to learn more about diabetes & how to control it so I can share that information with others. The boy thinks I'm off the deep end. This from the child who thinks ice cream with chocolate syrup is a fine snack. Or meal. I told him he's lucky I still let him eat ice cream & watch our old-fashioned TV.
Earlier in the day, as I prayed for guidance I realized that while I talk a good talk, I am not eating what I need. I ate grilled chicken and green peas for lunch - and peach cobbler. Yesterday I ate chili & a sandwich for lunch - and pecan pie for dinner. I drink raw milk & eat whole wheat bread, and pop-tarts and Krystals. I know better, but I do it anyway. I guess I get discouraged: "What the heck, it doesn't matter anyway..." Well, I can improve from here.
I'm not exercising like I should either. This one's a little harder. Randy works out every afternoon - because he knows I'm going home to cook dinner & see about the kids. I'm glad I can make it easier for him, but I don't really know how to fit it in for myself. Going to the Y before work's not an option. The kids have to be at school at 7:30. I have to be at work shortly thereafter. We live 13 miles from the Y, which is near where I work & not far from Randy's work. The kids' school is eight miles in the opposite direction. With gas so high (& I just hate wearing out a car before it's paid for), I try to avoid making two trips to "town." If I go before taking them to school, I'd have to make two trips. If they ride the bus, I have to be here at 6:30 to see that they get on. If I leave after that, I won't make it to the Y in time to work out, shower, and eat before work. After work, it's not much of an option either. I don't like for the kids to be home by themselves. I could take the kids - another trip - but Derek doesn't like the kids' room at the Y & he's too young for the machines, and Rachel's not into the Y. That's a long story there - basically, I just want to keep her away from a certain person who frequents the Y. That pretty much leaves Saturdays & maybe Sundays, if I don't go spend time with my mom & grandparents. And then I have to consider what else I need to do while I'm "in town." If I have to take the kids anywhere, I have to decide whether it's worth two trips.
I do live on a pretty nice circle for walking, and I have a fat dog who needs the exercise about as badly as I do. So, I'm going to try again to MAKE MYSELF do that walk every morning. The dog would love it, & I know it would be good for me too. It may mean a little less computer time in the AM, & it might mean a little earlier wake up time, but I have to do it. It's now or never. (Had to throw in a little Elvis - today's his birthday. It's also the birthday of a high school friend of mine, Jeff Mohon. If you're reading this, Jeff, hope you had a good one.)
On that note I think I'll get up & get ready for bed. Maybe I can get up early enough to drag myself out of bed early in the morning.
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