Sunday, June 22, 2008

Where is the love?

I am in one of my moods. I think, personally, I have done a right fine job of covering it up. I doubt anyone realizes how sour I really am. I am irritable, & I don't know why.

Well, really, I do.

Everywhere I look, I am constantly reminded of how much I have to do. I have so many projects that I need to work on. I have so little free time! I do have a few days off this weekend, & we'll be traveling. This is good, because there will be nothing I can do about those projects.

I have a terrible addiction to a computer game called Spider Solitaire. This may not seem like a bad thing. It would be worse to be addicted to meth, or cocaine or something that takes away from not only me but those around me. Still, this addiction has taken its toll on my life. I can waste hours that I ought to be sleeping or folding clothes or cooking or dusting or mopping or cleaning the bathroom or writing fiction or writing nonfiction or ordering windows or washing curtains or paying bills or organizing my photos or buying a new camera or taking garbage to the dump or cleaning out the Grand Prix or watching a movie or cleaning out my refrigerator or cleaning out my closet or reading my Bible. I tell myself I use it to clear my head, but instead it makes me put off the real things in my life.

Right now I'm in the car & Rachel's driving. I guess this is as good a time to write as any.

So I figured if I admit I'm addicted to the game maybe I can move on. Putting this on my blog gives me a certain amount of accountability.

I have often felt like I have thrown my life away. I have made a lot of progress in my life in the last year. I have made time in my schedule for exercise & for music. I have stretched my horizons by joining the chorus & by getting a new job. That job has allowed me to buy a new car & a new computer. I am really doing well, I just need to eliminate this one big timewaster!

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