Sunday, April 16, 2017

I can see clearly now

And so will you after you read this!

(Note: I actually wrote this on Friday, 4/14... not today, Easter Sunday! He is risen!!!)

I wanted to clarify something from my last post. I am beyond happy with the rockstar. I don't want to go back in time and change anything. 

Everybody has regrets. Lots of people say "no regrets," but we all know they're trying to convince themselves. When I look back on life, it's easy to see that sometimes I settled for less than I should have, not just in romance but in other ways too.  I regret letting people treat me badly, including Donnie and, at times, the rockstar (though I also regret some things I said and did to him, but you know, another story for another day). I'm no diva expecting the royal treatment, but I'm not a doormat and I've let a lot of people walk on me in the last 49.95 years. 

I'm thankful for the Donnie experience. It that taught me what not to do with a good relationship. I'm thankful I didn't throw myself at Robert. What if he had liked brunettes better? Or tall girls? Or men? He might've broken my heart too. More importantly, he might've kept me from marrying the rockstar, which was obviously meant to be. 

Clearly, it wasn't meant to be with Robert.

I'm glad I saw the picture back in 2015 because:

1) When Donnie contacted me that fall to tell me how he regretted being immature in 1985, I was going through a very rough patch in my marriage. That's over now, thank God, but if I hadn't had the reminder of my regret at not breaking up with Donnie earlier, I might've been easily swayed.  THEN, you wanna talk about some regrets... I'm sure I'd have a book full.

2) I had a great story to add to a sermon about not writing because of my unresolved feelings about John-Boy. Robert kind of looked like Richard Thomas back in the day.

3) I learned about what an inspiring woman Robert's mother was, and I got to meet the family!

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