Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I only have about 5 minutes in my schedule for writing today, but I have a lot to write about!

Emotionally, the last few weeks have been rotten. Two months ago today Granddaddy passed, and since then it's been a wild ride (just read my last post if you don't believe it!). I am getting better, really. I don't feel like I'm going through the motions anymore, and I don't feel like I'm going to die myself all the time. I feel like I'm still living in a blur sometimes.

I realize now that I had a lot - a LOT - of wounds that needed healing. I am reconnecting with a lot of people from my younger days, and that is helping me a lot. I'm also realizing how blessed I am with friends I've made in the last few years. Sometimes I still wish I could go back in time and have one more day...or just to go back a month or two or three and have one more chance to say some things...or just to say hey...but it is too late and there's nothing I can do now to change it.

Well, it's been 10 minutes now & I have to walk the dog & finish getting ready for work. That is a tough one. It is really hot in my classroom & I'm frustrated because I suck as a disciplinarian. I have come to the realization that part of my problem is my passive-aggressive nature. I am not really assertive. I tend to avoid confrontation until I can't take it anymore and then I go off. This tendency has ruined several good jobs for me and it could ruin my teaching career. I don't have time to do another class.

I also think I could benefit from some exercise. I love to exercise but sometimes I have a difficult time making myself do it...especially now that I have little free time (I am going to be sorry I sat here & typed for 20 minutes). I'm going to get up & go now. It's going to be a great day!

No comments: