And I almost titled this one "Your Love Has Lifted Me Higher," because it was out that year. I was just tired of looking for a more appropriate title from the year in my mind.
In 1977, I turned ten. My world was pretty small. I was born in Nashville but I lived just north of the county line in Ridgetop. I thought Nashville was a pretty important place, like Chicago or New York. I had no idea that there were bigger places in the world, though I had heard of far-away cities like New York and Atlanta. I had been to the ocean in North Carolina, which made me a little different from my classmates who went to PCB every couple of years.
Two girls moved in up the road from my grandparents' house in the mid '70s. They were from Seattle, which was way, way up in the return address corner of the United States. Looking at it on the globe, it looked like it would be much colder, and I learned that sometimes it was, but they had a lot of weather similar to ours in Tennessee with sunshine and rain. Humidity was something else. It's still something else, let me tell you.
Looking back, I never began to comprehend what it must have been like to be a newcomer in a town like Ridgetop. Having moved out of town a few times since then, I feel a little sorry about that. Everybody in Ridgetop must have seemed to be related. They moved to a house on a hill, a house built by my grandmother's family when she was a little girl and their old house on that same location burned. From the front yard one could see eight houses. I had relatives in two of those houses, my grandmother and her cousin Jerry. Another neighbor was my aunt's sister-in-law. She grew up there too.
That summer the neighbor girls' dad was transferred and they returned to Seattle. Elvis died, Star Wars premiered, and other things happened that stamped the year in my memory. One happened to my brother. Mom took him to day care, where he refused to drink the milk. They thought he was just "faking" when he said he was allergic. He obeyed. He vomited. Mom found another babysitter quick, cousin Jerry's wife Wanda. Mom hadn't considered really thought of her earlier because she seemed to keep a lot of kids and had her hands full. To my knowledge though, she never lost any! At first I stayed by myself at my grandmother's house that summer, but there was some family trouble going on (other unforgettable events I don't want to write about tonight, and a few I didn't really understand) so I started going to Wanda's too. I think she saw me as another big kid who could help with the little ones, like her younger brother and nephews who dropped in frequently.
Jerry was one of my favorite relatives. He was one of those people who always had a smile. Even in sad moments, he could muster up a grin. He was funny and kind. When I was a very little girl, long before 1977, I remember thinking he was cute. Back then we called him "Jerry Lee." I noticed a lot of my relatives calling him that today; I even found myself saying it. When he was born he had a hole in his heart, and some of my earliest memories of him involved him being in the hospital in serious condition, having had a heart attack or something at a very early age (like 24 maybe?). I remember being told his heart had stopped but he was brought back to life. I knew what that meant. It was very scary and I remember being very afraid that he would die.
I wish I could've seen him recently. Most of the times I've seen him over the past 20 years were when he was working on cars out in the yard and the garage, and I was driving by on my way to Mom's and Granddaddy's. I think I saw him at Mom's funeral; I know I saw him at Granddaddy's and talked to him for quite a while.
Today I went to his funeral. I sure hated to see him go. I pray for Wanda and his kids and grandkids. Ridgetop is a sadder place without him for sure.
Showing posts with label Nashville. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nashville. Show all posts
Sunday, December 03, 2017
Thursday, June 01, 2017
It's Only Make-Believe
So I'm watching CNN and I think, what if there was a parody character called "Kellyanne Conway Twitty"??? And of course, I am not the first to think of this... I'm not sure who was, but Seth MacFarlane, for one, beat me to the punch.
Ah, Seth MacFarlane... I have mixed feelings about him... he is drop-dead gorgeous and insanely talented, but his sense of humor is no smarter than a fifth-grader. A precocious fifth-grader, but... anyway, great minds think alike, eh??? ;D
Seth either loves or loves to rag on ol' Conway. Like all Southern white kids in the 70s, I was exposed to regular doses of Conway Twitty. We watched all those GREAT country music TV shows every Saturday afternoon (as my Granny used to say about watching Andy Griffith) BECAUSE WE HAD TO. Now, I really love to wax nostalgic about the old country shows and seriously, they played a YUGE part in making me the music lover I am today. The TV alternatives were limited. Today's youngsters can not begin to imagine three or four channels. Even the "big three" have local networks!
I don't remember just three channels. I don't remember a time before PBS. I'm not sure when public TV came to Nashville, but I do remember seeing "Sesame Street" mentioned on another show, before I had discovered the Muppets. That was the first time I ever saw that my mom tried to hide things from me. She did not want me to start watching "Sesame Street" because she foresaw exactly what happened. She knew I'd get hooked. She didn't want to have to watch silly puppets!
If she were here, I would ask her if she really thought Gilligan was any better.
But back to Conway Twitty. I DID discover him when I was young, like age four, but that's when he looked like this (from "Hee Haw," by the way, and also used by Seth MacFarlane on "Family Guy"):
If I'd discovered him when he looked like he did in this next clip, I probably would have thought he was hot, like my aunt Peggy and a lot of other women who were young in the 1960s and 70s did. OMG. When Conway died on June 5, 1993, Peggy and one of her friends stayed up late, drinking adult beverages, crying and listening to his music, probably on vinyl... possibly on cassette... maybe, but probably not, on 8-track... and maybe on a CD... not everyone had a player then but they were gaining popularity. I understood that SHE liked him and I could understand, kind of, because I figured she was about 50 and he was probably about 50 and he sang all those sexy songs and had kind of a cool voice, but I didn't think he was HOT. But in this clip below, he was kind of cute, and that song is freakin' amazing:
Here is another phenomenal clip of the same song... I did not know this show existed. As performances go, it's not the best Conway ever did (although it might explain why he didn't dance much once color TV footage began), but it's a piece of broadcasting history for Dick Clark's intro alone. Conway looked very uncomfortable and staged, and had to be lip-synching (I just don't think there was any other way back then) but wow! What a lucky break for an Arkansas boy to share a TV audience with Fabian!
It's only make-believe... just like he's making believe he is singing... I have a real-life, not make-believe, Conway Twitty story. When I was 12, I ran into him - I mean, I literally ran.into.him - in a bowling alley in Hendersonville, TN. He was polite, maybe a little annoyed, but polite. Later I saw him playing in the 11th Frame Lounge, adjoining the bowling alley, just through the door. I didn't go in. That would've been a riot. I was there with my church youth group. He didn't look it in black-and-white, but he was in his mid-20s by the time he made it to Dick Clark's Beech-Nut Show. That makes me feel better. I think it's kind of creepy for an old woman to think such a young man would be attractive! But my daughter will be 25 this summer - NEXT MONTH! - so I guess that's why Conway looks like a kid in those video clips.
I have always had a great sense of imagination. I'm glad that it has grown up along with me, but I am really sorry that I haven't written everything I've dreamt up over the years. I created characters based on people I knew but mostly based on "what if" scenarios I dreamed up about them. I have a lot of these stories but now, I don't have nearly enough time to write about them. I'm trying, though. I'm busy in my "real job" but I have a lot more time than I let myself believe. I like writing non-fiction as well as fiction.. or maybe I should say, real life as much as make-believe. I'm blessed to have great memories and imagination for both.
Ah, Seth MacFarlane... I have mixed feelings about him... he is drop-dead gorgeous and insanely talented, but his sense of humor is no smarter than a fifth-grader. A precocious fifth-grader, but... anyway, great minds think alike, eh??? ;D
Seth either loves or loves to rag on ol' Conway. Like all Southern white kids in the 70s, I was exposed to regular doses of Conway Twitty. We watched all those GREAT country music TV shows every Saturday afternoon (as my Granny used to say about watching Andy Griffith) BECAUSE WE HAD TO. Now, I really love to wax nostalgic about the old country shows and seriously, they played a YUGE part in making me the music lover I am today. The TV alternatives were limited. Today's youngsters can not begin to imagine three or four channels. Even the "big three" have local networks!
I don't remember just three channels. I don't remember a time before PBS. I'm not sure when public TV came to Nashville, but I do remember seeing "Sesame Street" mentioned on another show, before I had discovered the Muppets. That was the first time I ever saw that my mom tried to hide things from me. She did not want me to start watching "Sesame Street" because she foresaw exactly what happened. She knew I'd get hooked. She didn't want to have to watch silly puppets!
If she were here, I would ask her if she really thought Gilligan was any better.
But back to Conway Twitty. I DID discover him when I was young, like age four, but that's when he looked like this (from "Hee Haw," by the way, and also used by Seth MacFarlane on "Family Guy"):
If I'd discovered him when he looked like he did in this next clip, I probably would have thought he was hot, like my aunt Peggy and a lot of other women who were young in the 1960s and 70s did. OMG. When Conway died on June 5, 1993, Peggy and one of her friends stayed up late, drinking adult beverages, crying and listening to his music, probably on vinyl... possibly on cassette... maybe, but probably not, on 8-track... and maybe on a CD... not everyone had a player then but they were gaining popularity. I understood that SHE liked him and I could understand, kind of, because I figured she was about 50 and he was probably about 50 and he sang all those sexy songs and had kind of a cool voice, but I didn't think he was HOT. But in this clip below, he was kind of cute, and that song is freakin' amazing:
Here is another phenomenal clip of the same song... I did not know this show existed. As performances go, it's not the best Conway ever did (although it might explain why he didn't dance much once color TV footage began), but it's a piece of broadcasting history for Dick Clark's intro alone. Conway looked very uncomfortable and staged, and had to be lip-synching (I just don't think there was any other way back then) but wow! What a lucky break for an Arkansas boy to share a TV audience with Fabian!
It's only make-believe... just like he's making believe he is singing... I have a real-life, not make-believe, Conway Twitty story. When I was 12, I ran into him - I mean, I literally ran.into.him - in a bowling alley in Hendersonville, TN. He was polite, maybe a little annoyed, but polite. Later I saw him playing in the 11th Frame Lounge, adjoining the bowling alley, just through the door. I didn't go in. That would've been a riot. I was there with my church youth group. He didn't look it in black-and-white, but he was in his mid-20s by the time he made it to Dick Clark's Beech-Nut Show. That makes me feel better. I think it's kind of creepy for an old woman to think such a young man would be attractive! But my daughter will be 25 this summer - NEXT MONTH! - so I guess that's why Conway looks like a kid in those video clips.
I have always had a great sense of imagination. I'm glad that it has grown up along with me, but I am really sorry that I haven't written everything I've dreamt up over the years. I created characters based on people I knew but mostly based on "what if" scenarios I dreamed up about them. I have a lot of these stories but now, I don't have nearly enough time to write about them. I'm trying, though. I'm busy in my "real job" but I have a lot more time than I let myself believe. I like writing non-fiction as well as fiction.. or maybe I should say, real life as much as make-believe. I'm blessed to have great memories and imagination for both.
Monday, March 20, 2017
Loving a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be...
Well, you can say that again. I'm still waiting for my tour bus and swimming pool. Hahaha! I can't really complain, though. He's a good husband and he's bringing home dinner!!! Also, our band is playing this weekend... but more about that later.
So I have a lot of big plans for my writing and webpages. I know, I say that about once a year, but maybe God is trying to tell me something.
For one thing, I'm not getting a lot of work hours right now, and this was supposed to be one of my busy times. In February, I had 21.5 weekdays scheduled to work in March. By March 1, two days had already been canceled. On March 3, a tech called about her upcoming some surgery, which will put her out 8 weeks. She works 4 days a week. Of course, I have some days I'm scheduled to go other places. I can only be one place at a time, but the lead tech knows this, and I'm sure they'll work out the details when it gets a little closer.
On March 6, I learned that I wouldn't be needed on the 7th as well as the 12th through the 15th. They also cancelled 4 more weeks scattered through the rest of the year at that location. On the 7th, I learned they could not use me on the 8th. I called the CPR office and was able to pick up a few days there. That day, the surgery date was set for the above-mentioned tech, so I was able to make some plans, which included two days of teaching CPR, including the 13th and 14th. Naturally, as soon as I did that, a coworker asked if I could work on the 14th, so I canceled that day too. A few hours later, the lead tech asked if I could work on the 13th. I told her that I had just canceled 3 CPR days and I need CPR to keep the wolf from the door during the slow times, but I'd work in the morning if she needed me to, and she took me up on that. So, I ended up working a half a day on the 13th, then rushing over to teach CPR. On my way home, I got a text message saying that they did not need me on the 14th after all. Unfortunately, they didn't need me to teach CPR by then either. Last night they called me in to work today, where I learned that I am no longer needed Wednesday through Friday. So I was planning to work 21.5 days and I'll end up with 13.5, unless something changes.
And so it goes.
Besides that, I've been inspired to do a lot more writing. A few months ago, I started subscribing to a website called newspapers.com. I'd heard of it before, when I was teaching, but I didn't subscribe because I didn't think I could get my money's worth out of it. In one of my "fact-finding missions" I do researching sometimes, I discovered an article on the site and it suddenly dawned on me... I could use it to help me with Hee Haw, country music history, Frank Sutton history, Ridgetop history, and the list goes on. We're playing this coming Saturday night, the 25th, in Dickson, TN, at the VFW. I don't know the time, I would guess 8:00 pm, but I will try to get that updated ASAP. I also want to get the Brewer's Chapel page updated. In the next few months we will be getting a new pastor. This is pretty standard procedure, Methodists switch out pastors every few years and our pastor's getting ready to retire. He has had some health issues in the past, but this past year has been particularly hard on him. I am not sure what to expect from our new pastor, but we have had this website for a long time that I haven't been updating, and I think if we want more younger people involved in the church, a strong web presence would be a good thing... and that includes getting control of the Brewer's Chapel Facebook page. A former pastor started it, which is cool, but since he's somewhere else, we need to get that. I don't mind updating it, either, as long as I don't have to tweet!
Those two things alone would be plenty of writing, but the Hee Haw page needs some serious updating too. One of those days off this week I will go to Springfield, to the library to do some research, and to take some pictures of the Royal Inn before it gets torn down. Now, it may be years before they tear the place down, but it could be tomorrow! There is a man named James Lileks, a writer and reporter in Minneapolis who has a website with motel postcards, etc. Really, he has a veritable treasure trove of modern American history. I need to send him a picture of the Royal Inn if I can get one before they tear it down, since he has one from there. Maybe I can send him a link to that pic on the FB "You Know You're From Springfield, TN if..." page, too. I'm sure Bill Jones would enjoy Lileks' webpage. It'd also be good if I can get it on my Royalty page too.
So I have a lot of exciting ideas for my webpages. Another idea I'm considering is oral history type stuff, or interviews with older folks. I think there are organizations like libraries that have organized programs for this, so I'll have to check into it. Another oral history idea I have is doing people's memories it Brewers Chapel in a online type thing, maybe on the web page.
But if you will, bear with me a couple of weeks because I'm scheduled to take the MRI registry exam on Friday, March 31. I will be doing a lot of studying for that in the next couple weeks. After that, I plan to be writing a lot. Of course, if I'm working in MRI a lot at that time, then I won't really have a lot of time to work on writing then either, but I'm pretty motivated right now. I've discovered that I can dictate while I'm driving. I can set up the phone and the iPad both to record my dictation, and I can also use the voice recognition to record on the other one so I can put them together when I get home. That's what I've done today. It's taken me some time, but I still have several hours before I have to go to bed, so I can study after dinner.
So I have a lot of big plans for my writing and webpages. I know, I say that about once a year, but maybe God is trying to tell me something.
For one thing, I'm not getting a lot of work hours right now, and this was supposed to be one of my busy times. In February, I had 21.5 weekdays scheduled to work in March. By March 1, two days had already been canceled. On March 3, a tech called about her upcoming some surgery, which will put her out 8 weeks. She works 4 days a week. Of course, I have some days I'm scheduled to go other places. I can only be one place at a time, but the lead tech knows this, and I'm sure they'll work out the details when it gets a little closer.
On March 6, I learned that I wouldn't be needed on the 7th as well as the 12th through the 15th. They also cancelled 4 more weeks scattered through the rest of the year at that location. On the 7th, I learned they could not use me on the 8th. I called the CPR office and was able to pick up a few days there. That day, the surgery date was set for the above-mentioned tech, so I was able to make some plans, which included two days of teaching CPR, including the 13th and 14th. Naturally, as soon as I did that, a coworker asked if I could work on the 14th, so I canceled that day too. A few hours later, the lead tech asked if I could work on the 13th. I told her that I had just canceled 3 CPR days and I need CPR to keep the wolf from the door during the slow times, but I'd work in the morning if she needed me to, and she took me up on that. So, I ended up working a half a day on the 13th, then rushing over to teach CPR. On my way home, I got a text message saying that they did not need me on the 14th after all. Unfortunately, they didn't need me to teach CPR by then either. Last night they called me in to work today, where I learned that I am no longer needed Wednesday through Friday. So I was planning to work 21.5 days and I'll end up with 13.5, unless something changes.
And so it goes.
Besides that, I've been inspired to do a lot more writing. A few months ago, I started subscribing to a website called newspapers.com. I'd heard of it before, when I was teaching, but I didn't subscribe because I didn't think I could get my money's worth out of it. In one of my "fact-finding missions" I do researching sometimes, I discovered an article on the site and it suddenly dawned on me... I could use it to help me with Hee Haw, country music history, Frank Sutton history, Ridgetop history, and the list goes on. We're playing this coming Saturday night, the 25th, in Dickson, TN, at the VFW. I don't know the time, I would guess 8:00 pm, but I will try to get that updated ASAP. I also want to get the Brewer's Chapel page updated. In the next few months we will be getting a new pastor. This is pretty standard procedure, Methodists switch out pastors every few years and our pastor's getting ready to retire. He has had some health issues in the past, but this past year has been particularly hard on him. I am not sure what to expect from our new pastor, but we have had this website for a long time that I haven't been updating, and I think if we want more younger people involved in the church, a strong web presence would be a good thing... and that includes getting control of the Brewer's Chapel Facebook page. A former pastor started it, which is cool, but since he's somewhere else, we need to get that. I don't mind updating it, either, as long as I don't have to tweet!
Those two things alone would be plenty of writing, but the Hee Haw page needs some serious updating too. One of those days off this week I will go to Springfield, to the library to do some research, and to take some pictures of the Royal Inn before it gets torn down. Now, it may be years before they tear the place down, but it could be tomorrow! There is a man named James Lileks, a writer and reporter in Minneapolis who has a website with motel postcards, etc. Really, he has a veritable treasure trove of modern American history. I need to send him a picture of the Royal Inn if I can get one before they tear it down, since he has one from there. Maybe I can send him a link to that pic on the FB "You Know You're From Springfield, TN if..." page, too. I'm sure Bill Jones would enjoy Lileks' webpage. It'd also be good if I can get it on my Royalty page too.
So I have a lot of exciting ideas for my webpages. Another idea I'm considering is oral history type stuff, or interviews with older folks. I think there are organizations like libraries that have organized programs for this, so I'll have to check into it. Another oral history idea I have is doing people's memories it Brewers Chapel in a online type thing, maybe on the web page.
But if you will, bear with me a couple of weeks because I'm scheduled to take the MRI registry exam on Friday, March 31. I will be doing a lot of studying for that in the next couple weeks. After that, I plan to be writing a lot. Of course, if I'm working in MRI a lot at that time, then I won't really have a lot of time to work on writing then either, but I'm pretty motivated right now. I've discovered that I can dictate while I'm driving. I can set up the phone and the iPad both to record my dictation, and I can also use the voice recognition to record on the other one so I can put them together when I get home. That's what I've done today. It's taken me some time, but I still have several hours before I have to go to bed, so I can study after dinner.
Monday, February 16, 2015
Ice, ice, baby... Too cold, too cold
Sitting in a motel room because I'm sort of stuck in Nashville because it's icy. It's kind of nice. I've been lying around and watching a marathon of "My Big Fat Fabulous Life." My life is boring. Lol. Not really...
Since I last posted a lot has changed. Most notably, I've changed jobs. I'm a PRN tech for Vanderbilt Heart. Hence I'm stuck in icy Nashville instead of home using snow days. I still sub sometimes, though the pay's not great, because I need extra money, but I do get paid more than I did as a full-time teacher.
It would take all night to write about the last year. Sonny died in August. In December we got two pound kitties, Ivy and Josie. Ivy has just started allowing us to pet her this month. Josie's not there yet. They're cute and energetic. They're a lot of fun.
I'd like to start blogging again. I've finally got all the classes out of the way for the masters degree. I've got the credential so now I need to use it. I just have a hard time managing my time. That's one of my lent goals- I'm giving up computer games/puzzles. I'm not giving up the computer, because the time waster is Spider Solitaire and the puzzles are sort of a gateway drug. So maybe when I don't have that to eat up my night, I can do more writing. I hope so anyway.
Sunday, March 09, 2014
Two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one...
I'd planned to use this post to document my progress on the "40 bags in 40 days" project for Lent. You know, 40 bags of decluttering... however, I've been working a lot! I didn't do any decluttering on Ash Wednesday because I went to Randy's mom's house for dinner, but I DID clean up Sonny's bathroom and that WAS one bag of trash.
On Day 2 of Lent I cleaned off the bathroom counter. Photos to come later. Three bags resulted from that - one trash bag and two smaller gift bags, one for each child.
I went back to work after all the snow on Friday, and then worked in home health Friday night. I worked Saturday morning and evening, and in between I went to Nashville and took back the rental car and finally got my car back, went to eat with Randy, his mom, his sister and her friend, and went to the karaoke pizza place. Today I worked in the morning, napped awhile in the afternoon, and have been lazy, watching TV and playing online since. So I guess I'm three days behind, because I really shouldn't count all three bags from Thursday.
Well... that's all I've got to say about that, so far. More later...
On Day 2 of Lent I cleaned off the bathroom counter. Photos to come later. Three bags resulted from that - one trash bag and two smaller gift bags, one for each child.
I went back to work after all the snow on Friday, and then worked in home health Friday night. I worked Saturday morning and evening, and in between I went to Nashville and took back the rental car and finally got my car back, went to eat with Randy, his mom, his sister and her friend, and went to the karaoke pizza place. Today I worked in the morning, napped awhile in the afternoon, and have been lazy, watching TV and playing online since. So I guess I'm three days behind, because I really shouldn't count all three bags from Thursday.
Well... that's all I've got to say about that, so far. More later...
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Born and raised on Acid Country
I grew up with neighbors who could have been these people. I remember seeing Porter and Dolly at their house and I remember hearing about lots of drug use.
But today, I play this in memory of Tim Wilson, who died yesterday. I saw him live in Nashville a few years ago. Nice guy. A little rough, but nice. RIP, Tim.
But today, I play this in memory of Tim Wilson, who died yesterday. I saw him live in Nashville a few years ago. Nice guy. A little rough, but nice. RIP, Tim.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Love is in the air...
Probably the most overused blog title on this day. So what?
We celebrated Valentine's Day in the tradition we started the night before Derek was born. It was raining hard that night. I was scheduled to be induced at 7 the next morning. We dropped Rachel, then 2.5, off with Randy's sister Amy & her family. There weren't as many places to eat around here then. We went to Red Lobster, and it was packed. We looked somewhere else, but I can't remember where. Anyway, we finally went to Cracker Barrel and they got us in. We sat at a quiet little table for two with one of those oil lamps... it was very sweet and even a little romantic.
After that, it was kind of hard to get a babysitter for Valentine's Day in the middle of the week. It was just easier to take the kids along and make it a family meal. We haven't done it every year, and Rachel couldn't be with us this year. We talked about it, but Derek was going to a competition today, and we weren't sure when he'd be home. In the meantime, she made plans to go to church tonight. It just didn't time out for us to all go together.
Well, now Randy's going to bed and I'm watching a show about a group that's working against gang violence in Chicago. When I decided to become a teacher, I didn't get into it to be a community changer. I thought I would work at Sycamore, where I could work the hours my kids were in school and be available to go to their sports events and be off when D was practicing for football. And I was, even though I didn't work at Sycamore. But I was teaching in a different universe. I was teaching in South Nashville, where I really felt like I got to know my students and I felt like I was making a difference in the lives of the kids.
I liked it, but when the opportunity to work closer to home came, I took it. I loved my new classroom, but I missed the community. I still miss it, really, but I know there are kids who need help here too. There aren't as many businesses wanting to throw money at the public school system here, but I know a lot of the kids are living in those same types of communities... kids getting shot (there were three young adults shot last semester, most known by many kids from school), kids getting killed in car accidents, kids who are being abused, neglected, you name it. It's a crazy world, and yet, if we'd lived 300 yards east of here, our kids would've been zoned for it. And even though we live 15 miles from the "hood," we only have to look out the living room window to see a lot of the same issues. Our neighbors (and I'm not just talking about the ones in the subdivision) don't look different from us, but they have family in jail, and problems. The mission field is right around me.
We celebrated Valentine's Day in the tradition we started the night before Derek was born. It was raining hard that night. I was scheduled to be induced at 7 the next morning. We dropped Rachel, then 2.5, off with Randy's sister Amy & her family. There weren't as many places to eat around here then. We went to Red Lobster, and it was packed. We looked somewhere else, but I can't remember where. Anyway, we finally went to Cracker Barrel and they got us in. We sat at a quiet little table for two with one of those oil lamps... it was very sweet and even a little romantic.
After that, it was kind of hard to get a babysitter for Valentine's Day in the middle of the week. It was just easier to take the kids along and make it a family meal. We haven't done it every year, and Rachel couldn't be with us this year. We talked about it, but Derek was going to a competition today, and we weren't sure when he'd be home. In the meantime, she made plans to go to church tonight. It just didn't time out for us to all go together.
Well, now Randy's going to bed and I'm watching a show about a group that's working against gang violence in Chicago. When I decided to become a teacher, I didn't get into it to be a community changer. I thought I would work at Sycamore, where I could work the hours my kids were in school and be available to go to their sports events and be off when D was practicing for football. And I was, even though I didn't work at Sycamore. But I was teaching in a different universe. I was teaching in South Nashville, where I really felt like I got to know my students and I felt like I was making a difference in the lives of the kids.
I liked it, but when the opportunity to work closer to home came, I took it. I loved my new classroom, but I missed the community. I still miss it, really, but I know there are kids who need help here too. There aren't as many businesses wanting to throw money at the public school system here, but I know a lot of the kids are living in those same types of communities... kids getting shot (there were three young adults shot last semester, most known by many kids from school), kids getting killed in car accidents, kids who are being abused, neglected, you name it. It's a crazy world, and yet, if we'd lived 300 yards east of here, our kids would've been zoned for it. And even though we live 15 miles from the "hood," we only have to look out the living room window to see a lot of the same issues. Our neighbors (and I'm not just talking about the ones in the subdivision) don't look different from us, but they have family in jail, and problems. The mission field is right around me.
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
So tonight I am enjoying the last few hours of my weekend. I guess I ought to be doing some work but since I have the lesson plans made and the dishes washed, I'm just hanging out. I need to be getting ready for bed. The weather forecasters are, as Granddaddy used to say, "hollerin' snow." I am not getting my hopes up because not much is more disheartening than planning for an extra day off and waking up to see the car uncovered, as it is now. The ground is actually covered with snow, from yesterday. I want to wake up and see more snow on the car than in the yard...and most importantly, more on the road than in the yard also.
I know, for those of you who still have to work tomorrow, that is mighty selfish of me but if you knew...well, if you were in my shoes you'd want snow too. Besides, I've had to drive down "the Ridge" when it was a solid sheet of ice, in the middle of the night when most of you were sleeping, and had to spend the night in a motel on Dickerson Road because there was 7 inches of the stuff and I was on call...that night was not one of my fondest memories. But the motel was not that bad, it was one by the interstate.
My voice isn't quite "100" as they say (I would put it at about 70 on Wednesday morning, 60 on Thursday morning, and 40 on Friday afternoon). But, since I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER TODAY than I have in a month or more, I will be all right if I HAVE to go tomorrow.
I know, for those of you who still have to work tomorrow, that is mighty selfish of me but if you knew...well, if you were in my shoes you'd want snow too. Besides, I've had to drive down "the Ridge" when it was a solid sheet of ice, in the middle of the night when most of you were sleeping, and had to spend the night in a motel on Dickerson Road because there was 7 inches of the stuff and I was on call...that night was not one of my fondest memories. But the motel was not that bad, it was one by the interstate.
My voice isn't quite "100" as they say (I would put it at about 70 on Wednesday morning, 60 on Thursday morning, and 40 on Friday afternoon). But, since I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER TODAY than I have in a month or more, I will be all right if I HAVE to go tomorrow.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
how I wish, how I wish you were here...
One of my students plays that on his guitar just about every morning. That's right, I said My Students. I got a teaching job, left the doctor's office behind, and now I get up every morning and leave before daylight and get to work 35 minutes later...at about 6:30 every day. I get off work at 2:15 but usually work until bedtime, not always there, but sometimes I am there until time to pick up the D from football practice.
Life is sort of hard right now. I don't have time to update web pages...unless I am creating a webpage for my students to see what they've missed when they were out, and dang if there aren't four or five of those every day. In this really strange and hard-to-explain way, though, I really like it. I get aggravated from time to time but I do like my students. I think they like me. Some days they may not like me, but overall it goes pretty well. Was I born to do this? I don't know. I do know I wish I had done this a long time ago. I think when I was 22 I would have taken to it rather well. Is this why I never found a nuc job that made me happy? I don't know. I do know that if I'd been stayed at any one of several of them, I would have been there instead of at Vandy and I wouldn't have been laid off, and I wouldn't have been ready for a career change, or if I had been, I would have been afraid to make that change.
I believe I am where God wants me to be.
I can't convince my mother of that. She is terrified. I know she didn't worry so much when I worked at hospitals where I got called in at all hours and had to walk through dark parking garages and scary hallways, where I would have to be in the only car on the interstate amongst all those 18-wheelers, sometimes making two or even three 30-mile-one-way treks per night, then get up and do it all again the next day. She was probably blissfully unaware that I walked in danger then, when I would be all alone in a nuclear medicine or ultrasound department, just me with a patient. Some of those rooms didn't have emergency call buttons or if they did, they'd be ringing at some empty desk if pulled in the middle of the night. I worried back then. Would the patient fall while I was in the other room getting his dose? Or would he jump me and leave me in the cold, empty department to die? Would I hurt myself trying to move him with no help because my dose would expire before help came? Would I have to walk to the other hospital, outside in the dark or through those dark, scary hallways, trying to get the films to the radiologist? Then possibly have to take more pictures?
So far, school is much less scary.
I do sometimes look at my teaching friends who don't have to drive 35 miles to work, or who teach at their kids' schools or who teach at schools closer to home, or where I grew up, and I think, surely it would it have been easier there. But would it really? My tires might have been slashed after my son's team beat their school's team in football. My kids would be mortified if I told stories on them at their school.
It is hard work. I have no free time. I should be working on my lesson plan for tomorrow right now. No, really I should have already done it. But, I was looking at Blogger thinking this might be a good way for me to help those kids who come in every week, already behind, needing to know what they need to do to catch up. I am going to make that blog a little more private than this one, but, I think it'll be here on Blogger after all. Anyway, say a prayer for me and for Mom too, will ya? She needs all our prayers and please, ask God to comfort her about me too. I think I'm going to be all right.
Life is sort of hard right now. I don't have time to update web pages...unless I am creating a webpage for my students to see what they've missed when they were out, and dang if there aren't four or five of those every day. In this really strange and hard-to-explain way, though, I really like it. I get aggravated from time to time but I do like my students. I think they like me. Some days they may not like me, but overall it goes pretty well. Was I born to do this? I don't know. I do know I wish I had done this a long time ago. I think when I was 22 I would have taken to it rather well. Is this why I never found a nuc job that made me happy? I don't know. I do know that if I'd been stayed at any one of several of them, I would have been there instead of at Vandy and I wouldn't have been laid off, and I wouldn't have been ready for a career change, or if I had been, I would have been afraid to make that change.
I believe I am where God wants me to be.
I can't convince my mother of that. She is terrified. I know she didn't worry so much when I worked at hospitals where I got called in at all hours and had to walk through dark parking garages and scary hallways, where I would have to be in the only car on the interstate amongst all those 18-wheelers, sometimes making two or even three 30-mile-one-way treks per night, then get up and do it all again the next day. She was probably blissfully unaware that I walked in danger then, when I would be all alone in a nuclear medicine or ultrasound department, just me with a patient. Some of those rooms didn't have emergency call buttons or if they did, they'd be ringing at some empty desk if pulled in the middle of the night. I worried back then. Would the patient fall while I was in the other room getting his dose? Or would he jump me and leave me in the cold, empty department to die? Would I hurt myself trying to move him with no help because my dose would expire before help came? Would I have to walk to the other hospital, outside in the dark or through those dark, scary hallways, trying to get the films to the radiologist? Then possibly have to take more pictures?
So far, school is much less scary.
I do sometimes look at my teaching friends who don't have to drive 35 miles to work, or who teach at their kids' schools or who teach at schools closer to home, or where I grew up, and I think, surely it would it have been easier there. But would it really? My tires might have been slashed after my son's team beat their school's team in football. My kids would be mortified if I told stories on them at their school.
It is hard work. I have no free time. I should be working on my lesson plan for tomorrow right now. No, really I should have already done it. But, I was looking at Blogger thinking this might be a good way for me to help those kids who come in every week, already behind, needing to know what they need to do to catch up. I am going to make that blog a little more private than this one, but, I think it'll be here on Blogger after all. Anyway, say a prayer for me and for Mom too, will ya? She needs all our prayers and please, ask God to comfort her about me too. I think I'm going to be all right.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Behind Closed Doors
I haven't blogged in awhile because...well, I just haven't made the time to write a lot lately. I started this post this morning. Then I re-thought the whole situation & now it's midnight - the next morning & I'm working on it again.
Life is busy, as usual.
This month I finally got an iPod & so far, the song I have played most has been "Behind Closed Doors" by Charlie Rich.
I liked this song when I was a kid. I wonder how much of it I understood, when I was six years old. Did I know what he meant when he said "She makes me glad that I'm a MAN!"? I wonder. But I knew it was something like "She's A Lady." I knew I wanted to be not just a woman, but a lady when I grew up.
I could go into all this, why this song in particular has been the one I've played over and over ad nauseum. And by the way, I always have one of those at any particular time in my life. A few months ago it was "Can't Fight This Feeling." Before that it was something else. My hair is longer now than it used to be, so sometimes I put it up...and behind closed doors, I let my hair hang down. But that's not why I like it. It might be what makes me think of it more often.
This made the fourth week I worked at the new place. I have liked it far more than I thought I would. I really didn't see that coming. I just realized I haven't written about that at all. Wow.
It has been wild. At first, when I was training, I cried a lot. I mean, a LOT. Then I actually did it on my own a few days, & I was OK with it. And after about a week, well, I was glad things happened the way they did. And after two weeks, I was sure it was for the best. I miss my old job. I loved it. But I like the new place too. I have a lot more autonomy and it is a lot closer to home. I may not be getting quite as good of a package, but it is nice to have more free time. I had a tough day today, but it wasn't awful. It was better than sitting at home wondering if Vanderbilt was ever going to call me back. Which they haven't.
It has been a tremendous change, going to a place where I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I am making things better. I may not ever be appreciated for that by my employers, but, I think the patients appreciate it. And, just for that alone, I feel much more valuable. Just about every day, at least one patient - sometimes more than one - hugs me, or tells me they had a good experience. Some days I will see a patient I scanned a few days ago & they will say something nice about their test. I hope they are telling the doctors that too. I try to make the patients feel as good as some of them make me feel. So far, it seems to be working.
It has its moments. I cut my thumb open yesterday with a razor, getting ready to prep a man's chest. In my old job, that wouldn't have happened because (A) we had shavers with a different type of blade, though they were trying to replace them when I left, and (B) I didn't have to prep most of my patients...though I did prep some of them so it could've happened there, I guess. On the other hand, in my old job I mashed a finger & cut my hand on a collimator, so you can get hurt anywhere. I had to spend 20 minutes getting put back together, with patients waiting. But as always, it worked out.
The rest of my life has been interesting too. It seems to be going by in a frenzied rush...sort of like the tornadoes that seem to hit on a weekly basis in this area.
A few weeks ago Randy's fraternity was re-chartered at APSU & we got to see some of our old buddies from college. That made me do some thinking...as did a picture a friend put on Facebook...as did a chance encounter with an old acquaintance, & then a second chance encounter with that acquaintance a few days later. I remembered a lot of things from our younger days that I have missed a lot since we grew up & changed. For instance, I used to love going to functions when Randy worked at The Messenger. I don't know if I realized it at the time...I probably dreaded getting ready, I was probably nervous about going, but I have great, great memories of those dinners. And since he left there, he hasn't worked anywhere I got to do that kind of socializing. Once or twice a year we have dinners with Jostens people, and I do like those. But it is so rare.
When we were young, I used to like going to see Randy play because his band played clubs where a lot of people would go: college friends, family members, his co-workers, you name it. That fell by the wayside too. Now, if his bands play out, they're in biker bars, and I'm not really comfortable there. (Though the Bikers Who Care Christmas party I went to was great!) Most of the time his bands just get together & practice, then they sit around & play cards or watch a race or game or something. I am not a part of this scene. I spend most of my weekend nights here at the house doing nothing.
This has always been a source of friction for me & Randy. His friends are mostly single, or divorced...few have girlfriends. When they get girlfriends, the girls keep them out of that circle. I don't particularly want to hang out with single women on the weekends. It is nothing personal. I just feel like I'm the only one not looking for a date, or who has to get home to the kids. It makes me wonder if Randy's buddies are looking for dates too. (If they are truly at some guy's house playing cards, probably not.) If I weren't married to Randy, I wouldn't be out trolling in some bar looking for a date. I seriously don't think I would have to, but if I did, I'd rather go sit at Borders & read for my own personal pleasure! Or sing Karaoke at Talents!
Truth be told, I LIKED the hobnobbing. I liked being the lady who was leaving with Randy! I liked the feeling that he was proud to be seen out with me in places like that. I don't necessarily have to be the most beautiful woman there, or by any means the most important one. I just want to be there, & for Randy to be proud to have me there. For a long time, that has been missing. I used to think I looked too frumpy & it didn't matter. But now, I don't feel all that frumpy anymore & by golly, I want him to be proud to be with me. So stay tuned. We will see how this pans out.
Mom's hanging in there, not getting any better really (I am a medical professional. Please don't tell me she's not going to get better. I know how this works. I also know people who have lived with this disease for a long time.) but, considering all, it is nothing short of AMAZING that she has been able to work as long as she has in her job as a school cafeteria worker. I think she would've liked to have been off work more, but at the same time, she didn't WANT to quit. But the time has come that she needs to quit her job. Hopefully, this will allow her to use her strength to feel better, instead of to get by. It is a tough time for her.
Rachel's job situation isn't good. Her hours have been cut. I hate this because we go to church with her boss, and Sunday is Easter, of course, so we will have to see her. But losing my job, though it seemed like the end of the world, has opened new doors for me, and maybe this change will do the same for Rachel.
I thought about saying something crazy, like publicly asking the church to donate money for Rachel's trip to Costa Rica because she was getting her hours cut...but I have more class than that. I am not going to be mean. Like I said, it wasn't bad for me in the long run, so it might be good for Rachel too. Besides, we've just about got this trip paid for anyway.
Longtime Channel 4 news anchor Dan Miller died this week. He's been a fixture in Nashville news. He will be missed, especially by his family. I understand he was a great dad.
Well, that's enough for now, I guess.
Life is busy, as usual.
This month I finally got an iPod & so far, the song I have played most has been "Behind Closed Doors" by Charlie Rich.
I liked this song when I was a kid. I wonder how much of it I understood, when I was six years old. Did I know what he meant when he said "She makes me glad that I'm a MAN!"? I wonder. But I knew it was something like "She's A Lady." I knew I wanted to be not just a woman, but a lady when I grew up.
I could go into all this, why this song in particular has been the one I've played over and over ad nauseum. And by the way, I always have one of those at any particular time in my life. A few months ago it was "Can't Fight This Feeling." Before that it was something else. My hair is longer now than it used to be, so sometimes I put it up...and behind closed doors, I let my hair hang down. But that's not why I like it. It might be what makes me think of it more often.
This made the fourth week I worked at the new place. I have liked it far more than I thought I would. I really didn't see that coming. I just realized I haven't written about that at all. Wow.
It has been wild. At first, when I was training, I cried a lot. I mean, a LOT. Then I actually did it on my own a few days, & I was OK with it. And after about a week, well, I was glad things happened the way they did. And after two weeks, I was sure it was for the best. I miss my old job. I loved it. But I like the new place too. I have a lot more autonomy and it is a lot closer to home. I may not be getting quite as good of a package, but it is nice to have more free time. I had a tough day today, but it wasn't awful. It was better than sitting at home wondering if Vanderbilt was ever going to call me back. Which they haven't.
It has been a tremendous change, going to a place where I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I am making things better. I may not ever be appreciated for that by my employers, but, I think the patients appreciate it. And, just for that alone, I feel much more valuable. Just about every day, at least one patient - sometimes more than one - hugs me, or tells me they had a good experience. Some days I will see a patient I scanned a few days ago & they will say something nice about their test. I hope they are telling the doctors that too. I try to make the patients feel as good as some of them make me feel. So far, it seems to be working.
It has its moments. I cut my thumb open yesterday with a razor, getting ready to prep a man's chest. In my old job, that wouldn't have happened because (A) we had shavers with a different type of blade, though they were trying to replace them when I left, and (B) I didn't have to prep most of my patients...though I did prep some of them so it could've happened there, I guess. On the other hand, in my old job I mashed a finger & cut my hand on a collimator, so you can get hurt anywhere. I had to spend 20 minutes getting put back together, with patients waiting. But as always, it worked out.
The rest of my life has been interesting too. It seems to be going by in a frenzied rush...sort of like the tornadoes that seem to hit on a weekly basis in this area.
A few weeks ago Randy's fraternity was re-chartered at APSU & we got to see some of our old buddies from college. That made me do some thinking...as did a picture a friend put on Facebook...as did a chance encounter with an old acquaintance, & then a second chance encounter with that acquaintance a few days later. I remembered a lot of things from our younger days that I have missed a lot since we grew up & changed. For instance, I used to love going to functions when Randy worked at The Messenger. I don't know if I realized it at the time...I probably dreaded getting ready, I was probably nervous about going, but I have great, great memories of those dinners. And since he left there, he hasn't worked anywhere I got to do that kind of socializing. Once or twice a year we have dinners with Jostens people, and I do like those. But it is so rare.
When we were young, I used to like going to see Randy play because his band played clubs where a lot of people would go: college friends, family members, his co-workers, you name it. That fell by the wayside too. Now, if his bands play out, they're in biker bars, and I'm not really comfortable there. (Though the Bikers Who Care Christmas party I went to was great!) Most of the time his bands just get together & practice, then they sit around & play cards or watch a race or game or something. I am not a part of this scene. I spend most of my weekend nights here at the house doing nothing.
This has always been a source of friction for me & Randy. His friends are mostly single, or divorced...few have girlfriends. When they get girlfriends, the girls keep them out of that circle. I don't particularly want to hang out with single women on the weekends. It is nothing personal. I just feel like I'm the only one not looking for a date, or who has to get home to the kids. It makes me wonder if Randy's buddies are looking for dates too. (If they are truly at some guy's house playing cards, probably not.) If I weren't married to Randy, I wouldn't be out trolling in some bar looking for a date. I seriously don't think I would have to, but if I did, I'd rather go sit at Borders & read for my own personal pleasure! Or sing Karaoke at Talents!
Truth be told, I LIKED the hobnobbing. I liked being the lady who was leaving with Randy! I liked the feeling that he was proud to be seen out with me in places like that. I don't necessarily have to be the most beautiful woman there, or by any means the most important one. I just want to be there, & for Randy to be proud to have me there. For a long time, that has been missing. I used to think I looked too frumpy & it didn't matter. But now, I don't feel all that frumpy anymore & by golly, I want him to be proud to be with me. So stay tuned. We will see how this pans out.
Mom's hanging in there, not getting any better really (I am a medical professional. Please don't tell me she's not going to get better. I know how this works. I also know people who have lived with this disease for a long time.) but, considering all, it is nothing short of AMAZING that she has been able to work as long as she has in her job as a school cafeteria worker. I think she would've liked to have been off work more, but at the same time, she didn't WANT to quit. But the time has come that she needs to quit her job. Hopefully, this will allow her to use her strength to feel better, instead of to get by. It is a tough time for her.
Rachel's job situation isn't good. Her hours have been cut. I hate this because we go to church with her boss, and Sunday is Easter, of course, so we will have to see her. But losing my job, though it seemed like the end of the world, has opened new doors for me, and maybe this change will do the same for Rachel.
I thought about saying something crazy, like publicly asking the church to donate money for Rachel's trip to Costa Rica because she was getting her hours cut...but I have more class than that. I am not going to be mean. Like I said, it wasn't bad for me in the long run, so it might be good for Rachel too. Besides, we've just about got this trip paid for anyway.
Longtime Channel 4 news anchor Dan Miller died this week. He's been a fixture in Nashville news. He will be missed, especially by his family. I understand he was a great dad.
Well, that's enough for now, I guess.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Oooh, dream weaver...
Splain this one.
Early in the morning last Friday, the day I lost my job, I had a crazy dream.
I was standing at the corner just down the road, where my road meets the main highway, where kids wait for the bus. Well, I looked toward Nashville (where my old job is) & saw this white and black spotted pit bull running toward Clarksville, going just as fast as he could. This dog looked healthy and fit. He didn't look at anything around him, didn't stop to sniff people or road kill or anything, just ran as fast as he could.
He didn't even stop to sniff the other dog, the black, healthy looking pit bull that was running just as fast as he could from Clarksville to Nashville. Neither did that dog stop to sniff either the other dog or the human (me). He just ran as fast as he could!
If I ever have that dream again, I am going back to bed.
Earlier in the week I had dreamed about Granny Adcock. In that dream she was older than she was when she died - it was sort of like what she might've looked like had she lived a little longer. I saw myself in her. I used to be so sad when I dreamed about her, because they always reminded me that she was gone. Now I kind of like it - it's kind of like she's still here.
Early in the morning last Friday, the day I lost my job, I had a crazy dream.
I was standing at the corner just down the road, where my road meets the main highway, where kids wait for the bus. Well, I looked toward Nashville (where my old job is) & saw this white and black spotted pit bull running toward Clarksville, going just as fast as he could. This dog looked healthy and fit. He didn't look at anything around him, didn't stop to sniff people or road kill or anything, just ran as fast as he could.
He didn't even stop to sniff the other dog, the black, healthy looking pit bull that was running just as fast as he could from Clarksville to Nashville. Neither did that dog stop to sniff either the other dog or the human (me). He just ran as fast as he could!
If I ever have that dream again, I am going back to bed.
Earlier in the week I had dreamed about Granny Adcock. In that dream she was older than she was when she died - it was sort of like what she might've looked like had she lived a little longer. I saw myself in her. I used to be so sad when I dreamed about her, because they always reminded me that she was gone. Now I kind of like it - it's kind of like she's still here.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Lifestyles of the not so rich and famous
Yes, I did steal that line for my blog.
I am having a good hair day! It's a good thing too because today I have my very first real on-my-own-outside-my-home-church gig. I am hoping for the best!
Unfortunately, the older I get the fewer good typing days I have. I used to be great! Now I misspell about half of what I type. Fortunately I am pretty good at spotting this and correcting it right away but I amaze myself at how many errors I make! For example: I have, in the 5 minutes I've been writing this, misspelled and corrected the words "hair," "best," and "fewer." I failed to capitalize "Now" and "I've." That is not a good record! (And for the record, since I stopped counting those other words, I misspelled record both times I typed it, as well as the word misspelled, and since and times.) I could do a lot of writing if I didn't have to do so much correcting!
Well, I have been fairly busy updating the websites lately. Jon Hager, from Hee Haw, passed away last week. The visitation is today in Nashville. I am not going. If it were any other day of the week, I probably would because I park about five blocks from that funeral home to go to work, but I'm off today & have my "gig" in the opposite direction! But my thoughts are with his family and friends and fans. I had a lot of fans & curious folks visiting my site this weekend.
I also took Rachel to Murfreesboro to audition for the Governor's School of the Arts on Saturday. She thought the audition went well, but of course she is sitting on pins and needles waiting to see if she gets in. It would be a great thing for her to get a scholarship if she does make it. Say a prayer!
Well, it is time to get ready to go do this. I am singing for some folks at a little nursing home near my home. It isn't a big gig but I am a little anxious about it. I think it will be good practice for me and I hope it is a blessing to them. Later!
I am having a good hair day! It's a good thing too because today I have my very first real on-my-own-outside-my-home-church gig. I am hoping for the best!
Unfortunately, the older I get the fewer good typing days I have. I used to be great! Now I misspell about half of what I type. Fortunately I am pretty good at spotting this and correcting it right away but I amaze myself at how many errors I make! For example: I have, in the 5 minutes I've been writing this, misspelled and corrected the words "hair," "best," and "fewer." I failed to capitalize "Now" and "I've." That is not a good record! (And for the record, since I stopped counting those other words, I misspelled record both times I typed it, as well as the word misspelled, and since and times.) I could do a lot of writing if I didn't have to do so much correcting!
Well, I have been fairly busy updating the websites lately. Jon Hager, from Hee Haw, passed away last week. The visitation is today in Nashville. I am not going. If it were any other day of the week, I probably would because I park about five blocks from that funeral home to go to work, but I'm off today & have my "gig" in the opposite direction! But my thoughts are with his family and friends and fans. I had a lot of fans & curious folks visiting my site this weekend.
I also took Rachel to Murfreesboro to audition for the Governor's School of the Arts on Saturday. She thought the audition went well, but of course she is sitting on pins and needles waiting to see if she gets in. It would be a great thing for her to get a scholarship if she does make it. Say a prayer!
Well, it is time to get ready to go do this. I am singing for some folks at a little nursing home near my home. It isn't a big gig but I am a little anxious about it. I think it will be good practice for me and I hope it is a blessing to them. Later!
Friday, May 02, 2008
tryin' to get to you
I cannot update my web pages to let people know about the death of Jim Hager, who rose to fame with "Hee Haw." My host must be having problems. I really cannot say enough about my web host, iPowerWeb...this is the first time I've been unable to log on in the six years I've been using them.
Thanks to an upcoming birthday & last week's "tax-free weekend" I now own a laptop computer, which has pretty much done nothing except take up my evenings since I got it. Oh, I have wanted a laptop for a long time, in hopes of finding time to update my webpages & write more fiction. So far, I haven't done much except download my money management software & copying a few more programs that I won't be using on my old computer anymore. Vista won't let me use EVERYTHING I use to make my pages but I'm working on getting it all together again. Now I just need the host to let me get back on!
Life has been strange the last few weeks. I wrote about why I didn't have much time to blog last month. Well, I think everyone's getting better, if they're not well yet. Even the kids & I have had colds, sniffles, backaches, toothaches...& our flexible benefit card hasn't been working...talk about craziness.
I am not dealing really well with life this week. You can tell when I'm not dealing well with life because I play a lot of spider solitaire. However, I seem to be getting a little better. I actually watched both last week's & this week's "ER"s while I tried to update the webpage. I installed some programs & tried to do a few more things. Anyway, now I need to go to bed. I will write again soon.
Thanks to an upcoming birthday & last week's "tax-free weekend" I now own a laptop computer, which has pretty much done nothing except take up my evenings since I got it. Oh, I have wanted a laptop for a long time, in hopes of finding time to update my webpages & write more fiction. So far, I haven't done much except download my money management software & copying a few more programs that I won't be using on my old computer anymore. Vista won't let me use EVERYTHING I use to make my pages but I'm working on getting it all together again. Now I just need the host to let me get back on!
Life has been strange the last few weeks. I wrote about why I didn't have much time to blog last month. Well, I think everyone's getting better, if they're not well yet. Even the kids & I have had colds, sniffles, backaches, toothaches...& our flexible benefit card hasn't been working...talk about craziness.
I am not dealing really well with life this week. You can tell when I'm not dealing well with life because I play a lot of spider solitaire. However, I seem to be getting a little better. I actually watched both last week's & this week's "ER"s while I tried to update the webpage. I installed some programs & tried to do a few more things. Anyway, now I need to go to bed. I will write again soon.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Make room for the new!
It has been a happy new year, so far!
Yesterday Mom got a good report! Hallelujah! God is good! She's still a long way from well, but I feel so much more hopeful now. It may take awhile but I feel good about how it's going.
Last night Randy played at a bar in Clarksville. They probably wouldn't appreciate me calling it a beer joint, but that's what it is. I went for one set & enjoyed listening to them. I always enjoy watching my baby out there playing his bass guitar. (all you who know me, you know how I am about those tall dark haired guys with guitars!) I know I was the only non-smoker in the place. I guess I am getting old but I can't take it like I used to. You wouldn't think I grew up in a family full of smokers. Mom never smoked, but my dad & all my grandparents used to. Granny Ione (the one who died in Sept.) quit many years ago. I didn't even know she ever smoked until years later. Dad's father smoked his entire adult life. Mom's mother quit a year before she died, from a totally non-smoking-related cause. Mom's dad quit over 20 years ago & is still around to tell you about it. We now have smoke-free holidays but when I was a kid, one had to go outside to get any fresh air. Now the smokers have to go outside!
So last night before I went to see Randy & then again after, I went to hang out with the youth who were having a lock-in at our church. Since I am old & had worked all day (& we had someone call in sick too, so I had a full day), I went home & slept in my bed last night. After I picked D up at 7 am, I came back to bed & slept until 11. I don't remember the last time I slept until 11! Around 1, I picked up Rachel from her friend's sleepover. Around 5, I took her to work on the movie the drama teacher is producing, then I picked up dinner for the guys & myself before coming home.
I was glad to get here too. It is cold & windy out. I am going back to the Bridge soon - hopefully next week. I wasn't in Nashville today or I'd have gone tonight. That wind makes me feel really bad for those folks. I wish I could give them all campers or something. Anyway, I am going back. I am kind of working on another music project too - more on that later.
Be sure you look at the YouTube videos listed to the right of the blog entries. I have added a few of my favorites. I watch some of them every day! I am also working on some changes on my main webpage. I even got on MySpace! Welcome to the 21st century!
It promises to be a good year! I'm still believing for that vacation & a slimmer body!
Yesterday Mom got a good report! Hallelujah! God is good! She's still a long way from well, but I feel so much more hopeful now. It may take awhile but I feel good about how it's going.
Last night Randy played at a bar in Clarksville. They probably wouldn't appreciate me calling it a beer joint, but that's what it is. I went for one set & enjoyed listening to them. I always enjoy watching my baby out there playing his bass guitar. (all you who know me, you know how I am about those tall dark haired guys with guitars!) I know I was the only non-smoker in the place. I guess I am getting old but I can't take it like I used to. You wouldn't think I grew up in a family full of smokers. Mom never smoked, but my dad & all my grandparents used to. Granny Ione (the one who died in Sept.) quit many years ago. I didn't even know she ever smoked until years later. Dad's father smoked his entire adult life. Mom's mother quit a year before she died, from a totally non-smoking-related cause. Mom's dad quit over 20 years ago & is still around to tell you about it. We now have smoke-free holidays but when I was a kid, one had to go outside to get any fresh air. Now the smokers have to go outside!
So last night before I went to see Randy & then again after, I went to hang out with the youth who were having a lock-in at our church. Since I am old & had worked all day (& we had someone call in sick too, so I had a full day), I went home & slept in my bed last night. After I picked D up at 7 am, I came back to bed & slept until 11. I don't remember the last time I slept until 11! Around 1, I picked up Rachel from her friend's sleepover. Around 5, I took her to work on the movie the drama teacher is producing, then I picked up dinner for the guys & myself before coming home.
I was glad to get here too. It is cold & windy out. I am going back to the Bridge soon - hopefully next week. I wasn't in Nashville today or I'd have gone tonight. That wind makes me feel really bad for those folks. I wish I could give them all campers or something. Anyway, I am going back. I am kind of working on another music project too - more on that later.
Be sure you look at the YouTube videos listed to the right of the blog entries. I have added a few of my favorites. I watch some of them every day! I am also working on some changes on my main webpage. I even got on MySpace! Welcome to the 21st century!
It promises to be a good year! I'm still believing for that vacation & a slimmer body!
Saturday, November 03, 2007
And I will always love you
I started to give today's post the title "I would not give you false hope on this strange and mournful day." I just have the song "Mother & Child Reunion" by Paul Simon on my mind. It's kind of a weird song. It sounds like it's about a missing kid or something. But, according to Snopes (which is a good site for debunking urban legends), the title came from a menu item, a chicken-and-egg dish. Pretty clever name, huh?
But instead, I thought I would pay tribute to someone who died this week, Porter Wagoner. Living in the "NewsChannel 5 Viewing Area" as Middle Tennessee (as well as south central Kentucky) is known, the "Thin Man from West Plains" has been on local TV every time we turned it on since his death Sunday night. I'm sure, however, that his fans mourn his passing all over the world.
Today's song was NOT written by him, but FOR him by Dolly Parton. Knowing that does kind of change the way you look at that song, but that's not part of today's post.
Most people reading this blog know that my grandmother died about six weeks ago. She was a BIG country music fan, and certainly a fan of Porter's. I have mentioned before that I have spent many Saturday mornings here at the house putting shows from RFD-TV onto VHS & DVD for Granny. Many of those hours are of "The Porter Wagoner Show." I found it fitting that when I was a kid, I spent many Saturday afternoons in her living room watching those shows, & in her final years I took those shows back to that same living room for her to watch again.
Porter was the kind of man you could laugh at - he definitely was willing to laugh at himself a little - but there was no doubt about it, the man was an entertainer. He was a pretty good songwriter, and a fairly good singer, and a fine musician, but when you really look at his career, it's obvious that he was, first and foremost, a showman beyond compare. It is truly no wonder that his TV show lasted 20 years. And maybe it was just because I lived in Tennessee, where country music was just part of the scenery, but when I was a kid, on Saturday afternoons (before Hee Haw came on at 6 pm), no matter whose house you were in, when Porter walked down that hall in his red boots, everybody was watching.
Of course, I always figured most of us - male and female alike - were watching Dolly to see those outfits stretched oh-so-tightly over certain, uh, shall we say, points of her figure. ("And that tiny little waist!" a little old lady once told me, as we discussed the subject.) But just as Porter was more than gravity-defying peroxide hair & flashy Nudie suits, Dolly was more than her eye-catching figure and her own gravity-defying hairstyles. Porter may not have MADE Dolly a star (she probably would've done that on her own) but he certainly sped up the process by introducing her to his many fans.
To be quite honest, I wouldn't have been the country music historian I became if it hadn't been for Granny (and the country stars of the 70's & before, whose music she loved so dearly), & I plan to make a tribute page to her on my webpages. I actually have plans for these pages, but I have been so wrapped up in the other parts of my life lately (& if you don't know why, go back & read what's been happening since, oh, about August or so) that I really haven't had time for writing about country music or fiction or anything else. But, it is really just around the corner, folks, I promise. Stuff is happening, wheels are turning...give me a month or so & I should be on my way.
So this post is to say thanks to Granny, & to Porter, & to all the other country icons out there whose music & style inspired someone like me. Thanks for the memories!
But instead, I thought I would pay tribute to someone who died this week, Porter Wagoner. Living in the "NewsChannel 5 Viewing Area" as Middle Tennessee (as well as south central Kentucky) is known, the "Thin Man from West Plains" has been on local TV every time we turned it on since his death Sunday night. I'm sure, however, that his fans mourn his passing all over the world.
Today's song was NOT written by him, but FOR him by Dolly Parton. Knowing that does kind of change the way you look at that song, but that's not part of today's post.
Most people reading this blog know that my grandmother died about six weeks ago. She was a BIG country music fan, and certainly a fan of Porter's. I have mentioned before that I have spent many Saturday mornings here at the house putting shows from RFD-TV onto VHS & DVD for Granny. Many of those hours are of "The Porter Wagoner Show." I found it fitting that when I was a kid, I spent many Saturday afternoons in her living room watching those shows, & in her final years I took those shows back to that same living room for her to watch again.
Porter was the kind of man you could laugh at - he definitely was willing to laugh at himself a little - but there was no doubt about it, the man was an entertainer. He was a pretty good songwriter, and a fairly good singer, and a fine musician, but when you really look at his career, it's obvious that he was, first and foremost, a showman beyond compare. It is truly no wonder that his TV show lasted 20 years. And maybe it was just because I lived in Tennessee, where country music was just part of the scenery, but when I was a kid, on Saturday afternoons (before Hee Haw came on at 6 pm), no matter whose house you were in, when Porter walked down that hall in his red boots, everybody was watching.
Of course, I always figured most of us - male and female alike - were watching Dolly to see those outfits stretched oh-so-tightly over certain, uh, shall we say, points of her figure. ("And that tiny little waist!" a little old lady once told me, as we discussed the subject.) But just as Porter was more than gravity-defying peroxide hair & flashy Nudie suits, Dolly was more than her eye-catching figure and her own gravity-defying hairstyles. Porter may not have MADE Dolly a star (she probably would've done that on her own) but he certainly sped up the process by introducing her to his many fans.
To be quite honest, I wouldn't have been the country music historian I became if it hadn't been for Granny (and the country stars of the 70's & before, whose music she loved so dearly), & I plan to make a tribute page to her on my webpages. I actually have plans for these pages, but I have been so wrapped up in the other parts of my life lately (& if you don't know why, go back & read what's been happening since, oh, about August or so) that I really haven't had time for writing about country music or fiction or anything else. But, it is really just around the corner, folks, I promise. Stuff is happening, wheels are turning...give me a month or so & I should be on my way.
So this post is to say thanks to Granny, & to Porter, & to all the other country icons out there whose music & style inspired someone like me. Thanks for the memories!
Saturday, September 01, 2007
The road is long, with many a winding turn.
Although August 2007 was a month full of blessings, I can't say I was sad to see it go when I pulled the page off the calendar this morning. Like I said last night, it has been the hottest & driest summer on record here in Tennessee & I know a lot of farmers who are glad to see it come to an end.
Writing two days in a row is pretty good for me these days - I worked 50+ hours this week, so writing wasn't exactly my first priority when I got home.
I was reading some of my favorite blogs, & Pamela from "A Christian Home" shared a song that mentioned "skipping the book to read the final chapter," describing how we humans tend to want to view the destination as more important than the journey. That reminded me of my commute to Nashville. I thought back to the days when I worked at the VA (which is just across the street from where I park for my new job) & I made that commute five days a week, instead of four. I learned to love the journey. I hated that it took me so far away from my little ones who were preschoolers at the time, & I didn't always like being in the car for so long, but I loved the routes & alternate routes.
For one thing, once you get away from the urban sprawl, the scenery is beautiful. Even with the mostly brown grass, the hills are still verdant. With fall rapidly approaching, I have those colors to anticipate. After that season I love most comes the season I like least: when the days are so short. With my new work hours, this means I'll be making that commute in the dark both ways. We do have windows in our work area. I'll see my house in the daylight three days each week. As the days lengthen, if we get any snow, the hills will look like a Christmas card. I'll see them once the interstate is cleared for driving. Gradually, the brown branches will be covered in shades of yellowish-green, almost lime, then deeper & deeper to finally a forest green again.
Along the way there aren't a lot of places I can stop & grab the necessities of life, like milk & bread, but there are more now than there were ten years ago. Especially in Pleasant View, which has boomed since I left the VA. Back then I had to go to "The View" every day, since the kids stayed there while I was in Nashville, but now they get to & from there by bus. It's nice that I can stop there to pick up dinner if I need to, which I haven't yet, but it's nice to know it's there.
I do truly love the journey.
Writing two days in a row is pretty good for me these days - I worked 50+ hours this week, so writing wasn't exactly my first priority when I got home.
I was reading some of my favorite blogs, & Pamela from "A Christian Home" shared a song that mentioned "skipping the book to read the final chapter," describing how we humans tend to want to view the destination as more important than the journey. That reminded me of my commute to Nashville. I thought back to the days when I worked at the VA (which is just across the street from where I park for my new job) & I made that commute five days a week, instead of four. I learned to love the journey. I hated that it took me so far away from my little ones who were preschoolers at the time, & I didn't always like being in the car for so long, but I loved the routes & alternate routes.
For one thing, once you get away from the urban sprawl, the scenery is beautiful. Even with the mostly brown grass, the hills are still verdant. With fall rapidly approaching, I have those colors to anticipate. After that season I love most comes the season I like least: when the days are so short. With my new work hours, this means I'll be making that commute in the dark both ways. We do have windows in our work area. I'll see my house in the daylight three days each week. As the days lengthen, if we get any snow, the hills will look like a Christmas card. I'll see them once the interstate is cleared for driving. Gradually, the brown branches will be covered in shades of yellowish-green, almost lime, then deeper & deeper to finally a forest green again.
Along the way there aren't a lot of places I can stop & grab the necessities of life, like milk & bread, but there are more now than there were ten years ago. Especially in Pleasant View, which has boomed since I left the VA. Back then I had to go to "The View" every day, since the kids stayed there while I was in Nashville, but now they get to & from there by bus. It's nice that I can stop there to pick up dinner if I need to, which I haven't yet, but it's nice to know it's there.
I do truly love the journey.
Friday, August 03, 2007
From rags to riches
It's another Elvis song, but I don't think it applies to my life yet. Or does it?
So far this morning, it‘s quiet here. Rachel's not driving yet - we go next week to retake the test. Oh well. Derek spent the night with his cousin at his Me-Maw's house.
I talked with someone at Job X on Wednesday. I learned that while I am not OUT of the running yet, I am not IN the job for certain either. They have interviewed 3 soon-to-be-graduates of the nuc med program there. I figure I have a 25% chance, & it all boils down to experience vs. cheaper, fresh-out-of-school help. I should know within a week, probably. Maybe even today.
We’re so tight financially that not getting the job would be a blow. I’m past the self-pity about that, & though I’m still angry with myself for it, I know that‘s not productive. I still struggle with God’s will on this. I would think God would want me to have this better opportunity for my family and me. If He doesn't, I know He still loves me. I know His way is best, even if I can’t see it. But I won’t lie. It is still hard to accept.
My thinking is: these graduating techs are probably young, they can go anywhere there are openings. I am established here in Tennessee - my family's here, I'm married to someone with a job & family here - & I can't just uproot & go to Iowa or Vermont or wherever the demand for nuc med techs is high. So why can't I get "Job X" & let those new grads get those other jobs that might even pay more than this one?
That's not for me to decide. All I can do is wait upon the Lord & renew my strength. If I have to stay in my current job, that’s what I have to do. Some things about it still make me angry, though there are good things about it too.
Totally changing directions here…
Yesterday we also went to the library. I checked out several books. One: "All the King's Men" by Robert Penn Warren. I have mentioned him before - he grew up just 20 or so miles up the road in Guthrie. It‘s inspiring to think a “real writer“ could come from this area - maybe there‘s hope for me yet. I also got books by two of my favorite authors: Jan Karon's "A Mitford Bedside Companion," sort of the cream of the Mitford crop along with her personal notes about how the characters developed, etc., & a collection of Laura Ingalls Wilder's early writings, "Little House in the Ozarks."
Oh! How I needed those inspiring words. In Jan Karon's book, I read this passage from Jeremiah 29 out of the New Living Translation:
Three weeks ago, on my day off, I sat on the riverbank in Clarksville & considered all the craziness going on in my job. That was the day I decided to apply for Job X, among others, but before that, I decided it's time to start writing down the stories in my head.
I have a cast of thousands, I think. I created some of these characters in the 1970's, & have added more over the years along with more stories as my life has changed. When Rachel was a baby, & I worked 40 hours a week, I thought I’d never have time to write. I also thought I was a long way from old age, so I’d have plenty of time to write later. During my part-time years, I wanted to get published, so it would be "worth the effort" financially. I figured once I got established as a writer, I could start fiction writing. But I never made a lot of money at it (though I have been published), so I focused on getting more "real work" as a nuc med tech.
Now anyone who can blog can be a writer. Now, too, my kids are independent enough that they don't need me to entertain or take care of them every waking hour. But maybe most critical, I am getting no younger. In a family where cancer starts in the 40's & some die in their 50's & 60's & still some make it in fair health to 85, there's no guarantee. I might die tomorrow, & I might live to be 100, but one thing is certain: when I die, if I haven't recorded my stories, I will have spent decades with these people whom no one else will ever know. Seems like a waste of brain space, to me.
Laura Ingalls Wilder was, best I can tell by the dates on these published articles, about 44 when she started writing for periodicals. She did some writing before that, but I don't know how much of it got published. She began the "Little House" series at the age of 65. Those books are classics now, read by schoolchildren & adults alike for close to 75 years. Wonder what she would think if she knew there had been a long-running TV show based on her life & books?
Her magazine writings were inspirational & informative. She discussed raising chickens & the profitability of running a small farm. I needed the reminders that "thinking makes it so." I needed to read about the joy of a job well-done & being thankful for simple pleasures. When I think about what I really want from life, that's it. My grandparents seemed happy when
I was a kid. They worked, but enjoyed the relationships they had with their co-workers. After work they came home to the garden & ate the fruits (& vegetables!) of their labor. They made plenty of time to spend with their friends & family. We had huge holiday celebrations. I mean, there’d be a hundred people in that little house. (All smoking! I don’t miss that!)
Granny died at 62 - awfully young, but her brother reminded me at the funeral home that she wasn't expected to survive to adulthood because she had a stroke at the age of 6. Maybe because she was "on borrowed time," she lived her life to the fullest. We could all do well to learn from her example. She didn’t feel bad about herself because she lived in a two-bedroom, 1.5 bath house. She was thankful to have indoor plumbing, because she’d lived without it & her
neighbor still didn’t have it. Her house was a home. And though she’s been gone almost 15 years, it’s still the home she made.
I want to enjoy the moments like this one. Though it is hot, hot, hot & dry outside, it is cool
in here where the A/C's running & the curtains are pulled to keep the bright afternoon & evening sun from heating up the living room. I'm doing something I love - reading & writing. Later I'll have to do some driving (to the funeral home in Springfield - a neighbor & lady from church passed after a long illness - & to the middle school for parent night), but for now I'm
hanging out in my comfy clothes. There IS a lot to be thankful for.
Maybe, just maybe, in the rags, we find the riches.
So far this morning, it‘s quiet here. Rachel's not driving yet - we go next week to retake the test. Oh well. Derek spent the night with his cousin at his Me-Maw's house.
I talked with someone at Job X on Wednesday. I learned that while I am not OUT of the running yet, I am not IN the job for certain either. They have interviewed 3 soon-to-be-graduates of the nuc med program there. I figure I have a 25% chance, & it all boils down to experience vs. cheaper, fresh-out-of-school help. I should know within a week, probably. Maybe even today.
We’re so tight financially that not getting the job would be a blow. I’m past the self-pity about that, & though I’m still angry with myself for it, I know that‘s not productive. I still struggle with God’s will on this. I would think God would want me to have this better opportunity for my family and me. If He doesn't, I know He still loves me. I know His way is best, even if I can’t see it. But I won’t lie. It is still hard to accept.
My thinking is: these graduating techs are probably young, they can go anywhere there are openings. I am established here in Tennessee - my family's here, I'm married to someone with a job & family here - & I can't just uproot & go to Iowa or Vermont or wherever the demand for nuc med techs is high. So why can't I get "Job X" & let those new grads get those other jobs that might even pay more than this one?
That's not for me to decide. All I can do is wait upon the Lord & renew my strength. If I have to stay in my current job, that’s what I have to do. Some things about it still make me angry, though there are good things about it too.
Totally changing directions here…
Yesterday we also went to the library. I checked out several books. One: "All the King's Men" by Robert Penn Warren. I have mentioned him before - he grew up just 20 or so miles up the road in Guthrie. It‘s inspiring to think a “real writer“ could come from this area - maybe there‘s hope for me yet. I also got books by two of my favorite authors: Jan Karon's "A Mitford Bedside Companion," sort of the cream of the Mitford crop along with her personal notes about how the characters developed, etc., & a collection of Laura Ingalls Wilder's early writings, "Little House in the Ozarks."
Oh! How I needed those inspiring words. In Jan Karon's book, I read this passage from Jeremiah 29 out of the New Living Translation:
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good
and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you
pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you
seek me."
Three weeks ago, on my day off, I sat on the riverbank in Clarksville & considered all the craziness going on in my job. That was the day I decided to apply for Job X, among others, but before that, I decided it's time to start writing down the stories in my head.
I have a cast of thousands, I think. I created some of these characters in the 1970's, & have added more over the years along with more stories as my life has changed. When Rachel was a baby, & I worked 40 hours a week, I thought I’d never have time to write. I also thought I was a long way from old age, so I’d have plenty of time to write later. During my part-time years, I wanted to get published, so it would be "worth the effort" financially. I figured once I got established as a writer, I could start fiction writing. But I never made a lot of money at it (though I have been published), so I focused on getting more "real work" as a nuc med tech.
Now anyone who can blog can be a writer. Now, too, my kids are independent enough that they don't need me to entertain or take care of them every waking hour. But maybe most critical, I am getting no younger. In a family where cancer starts in the 40's & some die in their 50's & 60's & still some make it in fair health to 85, there's no guarantee. I might die tomorrow, & I might live to be 100, but one thing is certain: when I die, if I haven't recorded my stories, I will have spent decades with these people whom no one else will ever know. Seems like a waste of brain space, to me.
Laura Ingalls Wilder was, best I can tell by the dates on these published articles, about 44 when she started writing for periodicals. She did some writing before that, but I don't know how much of it got published. She began the "Little House" series at the age of 65. Those books are classics now, read by schoolchildren & adults alike for close to 75 years. Wonder what she would think if she knew there had been a long-running TV show based on her life & books?
Her magazine writings were inspirational & informative. She discussed raising chickens & the profitability of running a small farm. I needed the reminders that "thinking makes it so." I needed to read about the joy of a job well-done & being thankful for simple pleasures. When I think about what I really want from life, that's it. My grandparents seemed happy when
I was a kid. They worked, but enjoyed the relationships they had with their co-workers. After work they came home to the garden & ate the fruits (& vegetables!) of their labor. They made plenty of time to spend with their friends & family. We had huge holiday celebrations. I mean, there’d be a hundred people in that little house. (All smoking! I don’t miss that!)
Granny died at 62 - awfully young, but her brother reminded me at the funeral home that she wasn't expected to survive to adulthood because she had a stroke at the age of 6. Maybe because she was "on borrowed time," she lived her life to the fullest. We could all do well to learn from her example. She didn’t feel bad about herself because she lived in a two-bedroom, 1.5 bath house. She was thankful to have indoor plumbing, because she’d lived without it & her
neighbor still didn’t have it. Her house was a home. And though she’s been gone almost 15 years, it’s still the home she made.
I want to enjoy the moments like this one. Though it is hot, hot, hot & dry outside, it is cool
in here where the A/C's running & the curtains are pulled to keep the bright afternoon & evening sun from heating up the living room. I'm doing something I love - reading & writing. Later I'll have to do some driving (to the funeral home in Springfield - a neighbor & lady from church passed after a long illness - & to the middle school for parent night), but for now I'm
hanging out in my comfy clothes. There IS a lot to be thankful for.
Maybe, just maybe, in the rags, we find the riches.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
On this boulevard of broken dreams
I read the last line of yesterday's post & this song came to mind.
I am still picking up the pieces of my broken dream of working at "Job X" & all the good things that job promised like getting debts paid off a lot faster & putting the kids through college a lot cheaper. It probably wouldn't be so bad if things were going better with my current job. I can't get into all that's wrong right now, but there is ONE big issue that is NOT getting resolved. It is not something I can blame on one person. There are three who are involved in this, & while it may not be the same one's fault every time it happens, it has been happening way too often. It used to happen about once a month, & it has happened weekly for five weeks in a row. I don't really understand why it keeps happening, but it is demoralizing for everyone there. I wish I could explain more. It would certainly explain to anyone reading why I am grasping at straws.
Well, I have to go. I am taking D to the oral surgeon in Nashville today & then I think we'll just make a day of it. I just hope I don't go broke down there!
I am still picking up the pieces of my broken dream of working at "Job X" & all the good things that job promised like getting debts paid off a lot faster & putting the kids through college a lot cheaper. It probably wouldn't be so bad if things were going better with my current job. I can't get into all that's wrong right now, but there is ONE big issue that is NOT getting resolved. It is not something I can blame on one person. There are three who are involved in this, & while it may not be the same one's fault every time it happens, it has been happening way too often. It used to happen about once a month, & it has happened weekly for five weeks in a row. I don't really understand why it keeps happening, but it is demoralizing for everyone there. I wish I could explain more. It would certainly explain to anyone reading why I am grasping at straws.
Well, I have to go. I am taking D to the oral surgeon in Nashville today & then I think we'll just make a day of it. I just hope I don't go broke down there!
Monday, July 30, 2007
Where is the love?
Right now, I am not happy. Oh, I love my kids & Randy & all my family, my friends, my church family, my pets & even my car. And, that's about it.
I am sick of waiting. You would think if a company is looking for someone, they would be jumping on the chance to call a potential applicant. THEY WOULDN'T WAIT ALL DAY TO CALL BACK. This is NOT "Job X" which I have mentioned in the past. I will call this one "Job Y" as in Y haven't they called just to TALK to me? Do I have THAT bad of a reputation in Nashville? Maybe I do. At least "Job X" thought I was worth talking to, even though they have given me NOTHING to hold onto for hope.
Does God really want me where I am? I work with people who despise & belittle me. I need more hours, which I can't get, so financially, I live on the edge, scraping to pay for gas & groceries after paying bills & trying to pay off debts. I have to borrow money for school supplies & birthday gifts.
And then there's home. The house is OK. I have enough sentimentality for it to mean a lot to me, even though it's too far from Nashville & my family. It would still be all right, but every day one neighbor calls & asks for some sacrifice from me. A ride somewhere...or money...or cigarettes...it is a constant drain on me. If I relax, put on pajamas & kick off my shoes, the phone rings. Do I have to die to get out of this situation? I really am in no hurry to do that.
I thought "Job X" would be His way out of that job, if not this neighborhood. But I have to face the reality that this may be it - all I get on this earth. And even though I know there are people who have it a lot worse, I am not happy about that reality. I love God, but I am having a really hard time with this.
I am sick of waiting. You would think if a company is looking for someone, they would be jumping on the chance to call a potential applicant. THEY WOULDN'T WAIT ALL DAY TO CALL BACK. This is NOT "Job X" which I have mentioned in the past. I will call this one "Job Y" as in Y haven't they called just to TALK to me? Do I have THAT bad of a reputation in Nashville? Maybe I do. At least "Job X" thought I was worth talking to, even though they have given me NOTHING to hold onto for hope.
Does God really want me where I am? I work with people who despise & belittle me. I need more hours, which I can't get, so financially, I live on the edge, scraping to pay for gas & groceries after paying bills & trying to pay off debts. I have to borrow money for school supplies & birthday gifts.
And then there's home. The house is OK. I have enough sentimentality for it to mean a lot to me, even though it's too far from Nashville & my family. It would still be all right, but every day one neighbor calls & asks for some sacrifice from me. A ride somewhere...or money...or cigarettes...it is a constant drain on me. If I relax, put on pajamas & kick off my shoes, the phone rings. Do I have to die to get out of this situation? I really am in no hurry to do that.
I thought "Job X" would be His way out of that job, if not this neighborhood. But I have to face the reality that this may be it - all I get on this earth. And even though I know there are people who have it a lot worse, I am not happy about that reality. I love God, but I am having a really hard time with this.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Was it just a dream?
Today's blog actually started out as part of last night's blog, but because it was so long, I decided to edit things a little.
Here lately I have hinted a lot about making a change. Well, I am going to be bold here, no matter who's reading.
Here lately I have hinted a lot about making a change. Well, I am going to be bold here, no matter who's reading.
When I first mentioned upcoming life changes, I was about to go on vacation, & I wasn't sure what would happen when I returned. My mom was really sick. I wasn't afraid she would die while we were gone, but I was afraid we'd learn that her condition was terminal. Well, we learned she didn't have cancer, but she has some other health issues. She had her gallbladder removed, but she's still having problems. It is really too complicated to get into here. It's been hard on all of us, but of course, hardest for her, since she has been a pretty healthy person overall. It has taken a LOT out of her. So, please pray for my mom. Hopefully, she is on the track to recovery.
I also had a dream of becoming a Southern Gospel artist, & early in the summer I thought maybe this would be my last chance to make that dream come true. Through prayer, I have come to the realization that God wants me to sing for Him, but He doesn't want me to go on the road doing it. I will continue to sing at my church, possibly at others, but I won't be quitting my job & buying a tour bus.
Other things changed though, since all that. Our vacation was not very relaxing, coming home was even more stressful, and a week later, on the day Mom had her surgery, I had the horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad day at work. Since then, things have calmed down there, but having seen the imperfection (or perhaps more accurately, the truth!) there, two weeks ago I applied for another job, which I will refer to as "Job X," with some unbelievable benefits (read on).
I interviewed for it last week. Since then, I haven't heard a word. I don't know if that's good or bad. I have mixed emotions about it. I hate to leave another job. In 18 years as a nuclear medicine tech, I have never worked anywhere longer than six years. I do have retirement funds (from three different employers), so I am not completely without any kind of plan for the future, but I haven't got the years of security some people do. But in this day & age, do any of us REALLY have any job security? (See the story of Sterling Marlin, on yesterday's blog.)
"Job X" has a lot of possibilities that I don't have currently. It would be 4 10-hour days, where I seldom get more than 32 hours in 4 days now. That alone would be a HUGE difference for us. That kind of extra money would help us get a lot of debts paid off a lot sooner. I would have to drive about 30 more miles a day, but the difference in gas money would be more than covered by the extra work hours. But the biggest difference is that "Job X" would give us significant tuition assistance for our children. I know of NO other employers in this area that offer that benefit. Right now, I am just hoping I can get hold of enough cash to buy all the kids' school supplies during tax-free weekend next week, much less pay college tuition in three years. There are other pros & cons, which kind of balance out.
Yes, we have made some terrible financial decisions, & that is not the fault of my current, former, or possible future employers. Still, when I look at "Job X," I see a chance to regain some of the footing I have lost over the years. That makes it hard to deal with the ever-increasing possibility that I WON'T get offered "Job X." I mean, if I haven't got it yet, are my chances of getting it improving? Possibly, I guess. But at this point, I can't keep sitting around thinking about how much better life will be when it happens. I need to be content where I am. Can I do that? Can I make those changes in my life without "Job X"?
I was excited about several possibilities other than the tuition deal.
One: I wanted to buy a hybrid or other earth-friendly new vehicle in a year or so, when we'll need a third vehicle. Without "Job X," I'll most likely be buying a used car. That's OK. Used gas-misers get sold too. I can live with a used vehicle.
Two: I'd like to be able to "eat green." Right now, I have to be really careful with the grocery money. I usually end up going over budget in this area. I am not that good with couponing & scouring the sale papers. Those actions usually just make me want items I don't really need. My biggest problem there is that I should've taught the kids to appreciate pinto beans & cornbread when they were toddlers. Instead, I fed them pizza & hot dogs. Sigh.
Even if I had cash to spare, there are no organic food stores in Clarksville. "Job X," in Nashville, is close to several. But yesterday, I went to the Organic Farmers' Market in White's Creek, which is only open from 8 a.m. to noon on Saturday. While I enjoyed those $3/lb Cherokee Purple heirloom tomatoes, I probably won't make the 20-mile trek down there next week. Instead, I'll drive 5 miles to the nearby garden center that sells regular tomatoes for $0.50/lb. Not organic, but a lot less driving. As much as I want to help support organic farmers, it is currently a major sacrifice for me to drive that far to pay 6 times the price.
Three: I'd like to do more cool things with the family while they're the right age. Right now our entertainment budget includes HBO & TiVo. Actually GOING to a movie blows the budget, & we've done that twice this month. And I only went to one of those, a matinee! I'd like for us to attend concerts occasionally & see more independent films together, & of course, nights like that also include dinners out.
Four: I'd hoped to have the extra money to give nice Christmas presents not only to my kids & my husband (who evidently think they're supposed to break the bank every year) but to my parents, grandparents, & other family members. One reason I'm in so much debt is because I've overspent my Christmas budget almost every year. If "Job X" doesn't come through, I guess the credit cards will. That's not how I want to live, though.
Five: I was actually stoked about the 3/4 mile walk from the parking lot to "Job X" & back daily. I suppose I could figure out another way to squeeze in 1.5 miles of walking a day.
There are other things. I had dreams of maybe getting into education or research at "X," which are opportunities I'll never have at the office. Can I do them independently? Maybe, I don't know. But, there are people who would love to have my job, too. It's not that bad. It's just harder to scrape by.
Sorry about the novel, but I had a lot to get off my chest. I feel better now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)