SI... oh, who cares. When you close your eyes, do you dream about me?

Do you remember this song?  I do.  Does it have any significant meaning for today's post?  Well, it has a significant meaning for today.  I woke up early this morning, dreaming about someone from my past.  And in my dream I must have been watching something that would have happened 25 plus years ago and I said, "It's all right.  One day he is going to realize what he's missed out on and it's going to be too late."


And he did.  


And it was.  


And now I have these dreams from time to time and sometimes they worry me because back in the day I would dream about him two nights in a row and find out that something had happened, like his grandmother died, and there was something else, but I don't remember what.  Maybe when his aunt died, I don't know.  I didn't have a premonition about his mother, I can tell you that.  Well, I did in a way... a few months before she died I dreamed about him and wondered.  Nothing specific though.


I am still working on improvements (cleaning, specifically) and starting tomorrow (it's a holiday weekend) I'll go back to working on something for school every day, or every weekday at least.  I'm trying to do healthy things for myself too and I'm learning about herbs again.  I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I have toyed with the idea for a long time, but yesterday I was talking with my mom about... of all things, medical marijuana. Now, we didn't get into the whole, "This could be good for you," thing.  Nothing that deep, of course; it was more speculation on whether someone we know from a state where medicinal use is legal has a prescription.  She says no but this person is using it illegally.  I said maybe he or she is, maybe he or she is not, but if this person is using it, he/she very likely has an rx.  Mom didn't think this person had the financial resources to get a prescription.  It was at that point I stopped arguing with her because... well,  there comes a point in family arguments/discussions where tensions and voices are raised and motives are questioned (and you really do not want to know what motives have been questioned in the past).  We had not come to that point yet and I didn't think it was worth going there.  And somehow my thought process came around to what would I do if I couldn't teach anymore... I guess because the subject of our discussion is unemployed.  I thought, nuc med jobs are scarce everywhere, and if for some reason I couldn't teach, I'd want to move somewhere like Arizona and become a midwife or an herbalist or something like that.  I think another thought on my mind was what someone like Mom would do.  I don't know what she is going to do now.  I don't know how long she can keep her disability, her insurance, and all of that.  And how many people are out there who don't have insurance?  Who don't have treatments for diseases like cancer?  There's a lot to think about.


So is that what I need to do?  I don't think so.  I think teaching is the thing for me right now.  Someday it may not be, and when that happens, at least I know there are options out there.  

SI wk 0 day 6: School's out for summer

Not quite forever just yet...


I really enjoyed my day today.  I wasn't at school all that long and I came home and piddled around here after that.  I decided that every day I'm going to try to do several things.  


One, I'm going to do something each day to improve my health.  Today... well, I ate broccoli and cheese for supper, along with baked beans.  Not the healthiest meal but not the worst either.  I didn't exercise today because my feet have hurt just about all day.  I relaxed.  Isn't that good?


Two, I'm going to do something fun every day, or some kind of treat to myself.  Now you have to realize that I can have fun with a lot of different things!  I did several fun things today.  I watched "The Women of SNL" which was pretty funny.  I've relaxed on the hammock several times (isn't that healthy too?).  I worked on my Jux account, because I'm thinking about trying to sell some medical photography.  Maybe... 


Three, I'm doing something school-related each day because I have lots of good ideas and I'd like to get ahead of the game.  I had to set a limit on that - no more than four hours a day.  There will be days when I have to do more than four hours a day, because of professional development and such.  I'm excited though.  Today was a half-day so there was my four hours.


Four, I'm going to do something spiritual every day.  That's sort of broad... a lot of things fit in here.  Doing something for somebody would fit, as would singing in a nursing home.  Could I count meditating in the hammock here?  


Finally, I'm going to do something for the home each day.  I washed dishes and a load of clothes.  I folded a load of clothes, and I dusted the dresser in the master bedroom.  I had to deal with Sonny's urine... don't want to talk about that.  I haven't done a lot of housework but I've done something today and will improve tomorrow.

SI week 0 day 5: one more day...

Tomorrow's the last official day.  The good thing is that the tough part is done.  The grades are in and I just have a few more loose ends to tie up.  Yesterday was the last day for the kids and tomorrow all they're going to do is hand out report cards.  That may mean I have students coming in and out, but I don't know.  I woke up at 2:35 this morning.  I checked my e-mail and read the FlyLady digest.  I don't remember much of what it said, but in the shower I thought to myself, "I deserve peace."  FlyLady is big about encouraging her followers to say "I love myself," and I'm not arguing with that.  As a Christian though, I tend to think that I don't deserve a whole lot.  By that I mean that I believe I have good things by the grace of God and not anything I have done.  What I thought in the shower, though, is what's in my control.  I should treat myself better than to run myself ragged trying to do the impossible, or to beat myself up for things I cannot control.  I don't need to beat myself up for things over which I once had control but don't anymore. (in other words, things I screwed up).  


In turn, I deserve respect from others whether they are my students or my supervisors.  I deserve proper treatment and I am going to start expecting it.


So I got a lot done at school today. I didn't feel really good and I had to do a lot of running around. I will be doing even more putting stuff up tomorrow and hopefully no one will want to use my computer expertise.

I got more done here than usual too. Folded clothes, washed dishes, and now I'm watching "Trauma: Life in the ER" and getting ideas for how to use these in class. I can't keep showing episodes of "House" UNLESS I find better ways to tie it into my standards. However, I have NO problem at all using TV shows, movies, etc. to teach the kids while they think they're doing something else. 

SI wk 0, day 4: And when I'm itchy, I scratch.

Anybody remember this one?  It was from Sesame Street back in the 70's.  

Today did not start well.  Randy played yesterday's messages and we learned that Derek's surgery has been postponed for two weeks. This means his jaw will be wired shut when we planned to go on vacation. That means we've got to reschedule not just us but six or seven more people. But he is a good kid; he said not to worry about him. Bless his heart. 

After that we discovered that the cat crapped in the bath tub and vomited in the hall. Not only that but he crapped on a towel in the bathroom too.  Not a good morning.

Work was easy, relatively... my first block took their exam and I graded it, and spent most of the rest of the day doing the end-of-year packing and paperwork.  We have 1.5 more days, and I'll spend them doing more of the same.  It's all right.  I'm going to spend a little time each week preparing for next year.

Randy is practicing and Derek went to spend the night with a buddy.  Rach moved out today, to start her new summer job as a youth worker intern at a church in Nashville.  I've been sitting here itching all evening.  I don't know if the loveseat's got fleas or what.  (That would figure, wouldn't it?)  I need to stop being so lazy but I figure I'll work hard tomorrow.  Just doing some laundry tonight.

Summer improvements week 0 day 2: I don't wanna work... or maybe I do

Today I have mostly been lazy. We had our church homecoming today, which was nice. I messed up my song, and I was already a bit emotional when another soloist got choked up singing his, which obviously reminded him of his grandmother who died in February. His dad, too, was emotional when the time came for him to dedicate the gift from the memorial fund in her memory so the tears flowed freely today.  


After that, a huge unhealthy meal and since then a long nap and then the runs and during that time a good read of a book about neuropathy. I have had a tough time with neuropathy lately. I have always tended to be a wuss about pain or so I was told. I believed this too until I walked around for 6 hours with a broken ankle and then worked for 3 hours with a broken hand.  I don't like pain but I can put up with a lot. This chronic pain of neuropathy has really put a cramp in my life. I can't stand up for long periods of time and I am just getting worse. I have decided that starting now I am going to eat less carbohydrate and sugar. I feel like I need to be on one of those commercials like the people who are young and suffering the effects of smoking. Yes, sugar can do this to you! Give up the candy bars now! And, sigh, the sweet tea. I always liked that more than candy anyhow. I can do candy in moderation. I don't do cheesecake in moderation. Ice cream is a big temptation too.  I hope it helps. If nothing else then at least I should lose some weight and maybe then people won't blame my pain on my weight. Sigh. I think I can live with a less wheat based diet. I hope so. 


 Randy is home after a long shopping trip. I don't know where he has been so I hope this is good. He had been to his mom's. Oh, well, that explains it. THANKS FOR MAKING ME WORRY FOR THREE HOURS. I don't mind him going to his mom's and Lord knows he doesn't have to answer to me for every minute of every day, but he not only was gone for 4.5 hours doing a one hour job, he didn't respond to a text an hour ago. We only live about 20 minutes from his mom. I am not one of those control freaks who keeps her man on a tight leash. If I had been, I probably wouldn't still be married to Randy. Sometimes, though, I feel the need to remind him that he is married and because he lives with someone, occasionally he needs to let us know what he's doing.  


I have been so lazy this weekend. I didn't clean house, pay bills, or shop or anything. Well, I DID go to the store yesterday. I hope I have a better attitude. I should. School is out after Tuesday (even though I have to go until Thursday). I never thought I'd be one of those teachers who counted the days until summer vacation. But you really can't help it. It is so stressful when the kids are ready to get out... which is every day, but worst in May. I spent this, my third year, trying to find another job. There, I admit it. I don't think that helped my attitude a bit, but my finances were the harsh reality that teachers just don't make the money nuclear medicine techs do. And, oh, yes, let's not forget I didn't WANT to get out of the field, it just seemed like a better option than where I was when I did... working in an office with uncertainty and no benefits and a toxic environment after being laid off from my dream job. If I hadn't gone into teaching, if I had stayed, I wouldn't have had any hours in December. That would've been a lovely Christmas. Granted, that Christmas sucked anyway (my grandfather died on Dec. 23) but it would've been rough if I hadn't been paid.  


It sounds like it'd be easy to find PRN work, but nobody wants to hire a PRN tech who can only work in the summer. They want people who can come in at the drop of a hat anytime (and from my previous experience, who can work all those school holidays so they can be off with their kids). If I had been working somewhere PRN when I started teaching, I could've done it.  I really should be glad I'm not doing nucs anymore. My old feet couldn't take it, for starters, and I don't miss working with people in that environment. I mean, I work with complainers (the students) and other adults (the teachers) but it's different. There is less of the "keeping up with the Joneses" because nobody's got any money. There's less drama because we're the grownups (most of the time). I miss patient care, and I wonder if that's not part of my issue, that I'm having to treat myself as a patient. I could work as a CNA but I don't know if I could handle an 8 hour shift on my feet.  


There IS a nuc tech opening in Gallatin, 47 miles away. And no, don't suggest that I could move because it is not that simple. Randy has a job about 15 miles from here (and approximately 62 miles from Gallatin) and halfway between the two is... well, it IS in Derek's school district but that would mean selling this place and that is not something that can be done overnight in this neighborhood. Besides we're assuming I'd get the job. A nuc tech can't assume that anymore especially one who is 45 and fat and has a reputation of working here there and everywhere. And has a pretty well known health history. Again losing weight would help, but I couldn't lose it fast enough to help get that job. And then there is Derek's upcoming surgery (hello, patient care skills) and all that entails. I am better off staying put for now and doing transcription when I can, writing, and just hoping being a tech coach and data coach will keep us afloat until I can get my car paid off.

All I did to improve the house today was wash dishes - fair enough, since I dirtied quite a few preparing potato casserole and cookies for church - and sweep the kitchen.  I spot-mopped a little of the kitchen floor too.

Summer Improvements Week 0: It's a beautiful morning

 I should've started my series on Thursday.  That night I had a sink full of dishes that no one had touched for days.  I felt bad about it because I hadn't done them... but nobody else here had either!  (In my defense, I had transcription work Monday night and Tuesday night and choir practice at church Wednesday night - after working all day at school those days) Thursday night Randy had a dinner for work and I didn't want him to come home to this yet again.My plan was to take pictures as I made progress.  I took pictures as I waded through the dishes but didn't take one when I finished!  Well, it does look better.  With neuropathy, standing for long enough to wash that many in one session is not an option.  It took me four short sessions to do it (broken up by laundry-folding sessions) but three hours later I got it all done.  So far it still looks pretty good!!!

So today I started my walking program again.  There are so many dogs in this subdivision.  I don't mind dogs but all the barking... well, if their owners don't like it they shouldn't have dogs, right???  I no longer own a dog.  :(  I miss my dog.  I sometimes worry that people will be annoyed because the dogs are barking at me and it's all my fault for walking.  But since most of the neighbors are dog owners, I guess I'm worrying for nothing.  

I saw a lot of pretty birds today. 

I don't have a lot planned today.  I'm going to graduation tonight, but other than that just getting ready for homecoming, maybe doing a little housekeeping.  Not going home tomorrow. so I guess I'll call Mom.  I have to go into "town" at some point and deposit a check, get creamer, and I might look for some plants while I'm out.  I dreamed I got some... I also dreamed I went to Hawaii.

I actually made it all the way around the circle with the exception of the part between my house and the highway, then took a break in the hammock for 10 to 15 minutes, came in and had breakfast (a peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread).  Now I've got to get up and take my medicine, change the litter, and just do what comes up!

Summer's comin' and it's gettin' warmer

It's a line from "Runaway" by Jefferson Starship.  Love, love, love that song.

In less than a week I'll be celebrating the last day of school and the beginning of my summer vacation!!!  It promises to be an interesting summer.  D's having surgery, we're going out of town at some point, and I'm not taking classes.  I'm taking a break!

I find myself making summer resolutions, like some people make new year's resolutions.  I'm going to get the house cleaner, I'll say to myself, or I'm going to lose 10 pounds.  I'd like to do both this summer.  So begins a new "series" so to speak - Summer Improvements.  I'd like to write about what I'm doing and post photos of it too.  I have plenty of tech gadgets.  I've got a Kindle Fire, a laptop, an iPad (thanks, SHS) and a new iPhone.  I can post pics of anything.