Working for a living...

So tonight I'm sitting here halfway watching TV and halfway working.  I need to figure out how much work I need to do outside of my part-time jobs this week.  But Hee Haw is on!  That's actually pretty good inspiration for working on webpages.  I'm doing nukes tomorrow.  I've got a doctor appointment Tuesday and then working afterward, then all day Wednesday, and teaching CPR the end of the week in Springfield and at Vandy.  This is my "audition" with Vandy so I hope I "pass." 

I figure blogging is a good start to my workweek. 

Tonight's the weekly Arbonne sales call for our team.  I have asked two people to host for me in the last 2 days, 3 really, but 2 are hosting together.  They scheduled a date for me, next month, but that's all right... better than no date at all.  The third didn't, yet, but maybe soon.  I'm going to make some ads to put on my pages.  I don't like to work too much on Sundays... I think we all need to rest one day a week if we can.

I'm pushing the 80/20 rule on eating.  I'm only following about 50/50 right now!  No, maybe 60/40.  I'm working at it.  I went to the Y in Clarksville today and that was a good thing.

Love is in the air...

Probably the most overused blog title on this day. So what?

We celebrated Valentine's Day in the tradition we started the night before Derek was born. It was raining hard that night. I was scheduled to be induced at 7 the next morning. We dropped Rachel, then 2.5, off with Randy's sister Amy & her family. There weren't as many places to eat around here then. We went to Red Lobster, and it was packed. We looked somewhere else, but I can't remember where. Anyway, we finally went to Cracker Barrel and they got us in. We sat at a quiet little table for two with one of those oil lamps... it was very sweet and even a little romantic.

After that, it was kind of hard to get a babysitter for Valentine's Day in the middle of the week. It was just easier to take the kids along and make it a family meal. We haven't done it every year, and Rachel couldn't be with us this year. We talked about it, but Derek was going to a competition today, and we weren't sure when he'd be home. In the meantime, she made plans to go to church tonight. It just didn't time out for us to all go together.

Well, now Randy's going to bed and I'm watching a show about a group that's working against gang violence in Chicago. When I decided to become a teacher, I didn't get into it to be a community changer. I thought I would work at Sycamore, where I could work the hours my kids were in school and be available to go to their sports events and be off when D was practicing for football. And I was, even though I didn't work at Sycamore. But I was teaching in a different universe. I was teaching in South Nashville, where I really felt like I got to know my students and I felt like I was making a difference in the lives of the kids.

I liked it, but when the opportunity to work closer to home came, I took it. I loved my new classroom, but I missed the community. I still miss it, really, but I know there are kids who need help here too. There aren't as many businesses wanting to throw money at the public school system here, but I know a lot of the kids are living in those same types of communities... kids getting shot (there were three young adults shot last semester, most known by many kids from school), kids getting killed in car accidents, kids who are being abused, neglected, you name it. It's a crazy world, and yet, if we'd lived 300 yards east of here, our kids would've been zoned for it. And even though we live 15 miles from the "hood," we only have to look out the living room window to see a lot of the same issues. Our neighbors (and I'm not just talking about the ones in the subdivision) don't look different from us, but they have family in jail, and problems. The mission field is right around me.

It's not what I did, it's what I didn't do.

First let me say that I'm not referring to my marriage. Right now, that's fine. No complaints.

I picked this song for the title because today I've been bothered a bit by the mistakes I made in the past. While typing that sentence I wondered how many mistakes I've blogged about. I thought I'd read the entries from the month that had the most, July 2007...but I couldn't read them all because I remembered where they led, where I went the next few months. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I got the job I had wanted, the job that ended 18 months later. I had two grandparents living then...I don't have either one now. But that wasn't my fault and neither was the loss of my job. Still, even now I wonder how different my life would be if I'd stayed at Skyline instead of going to Clarksville Cardiology and then Vandy and then Dr. Mishra's and then Glencliff and then Springfield. I don't regret moving from Madisonville, or leaving the VA or leaving Northcrest. I would go back to any of them if offered the right job, but I don't regret any moves before leaving Skyline.

I don't know that regret is the right word for how I feel about the other moves. I had my reasons for leaving all of them. I thought Vandy would give me a more secure future and help get my kids through college. I thought I could make peace with my situation working for Dr. Mishra, but it was everything I didn't like about working in nuclear cardiology. I left the Cliff because I wanted to teach closer to home. I don't regret going to Springfield, and I'm not sure I regret going into teaching, but, I miss working in health care. And, I miss the money I used to make.

Nuclear medicine technology is an oft-misunderstood profession, as I've learned over the years, even since I left the field, as I wrote last night. All those years, I felt like it sounded impressive but it wasn't. Now, I think, that DID sound impressive, and in some ways it was, and all the while, I didn't like it.

I feel like I haven't done much with my life. I've raised two great kids, and for that I'm very happy and thankful. Otherwise, I've spent too much time eating, playing on the computer, driving too much, writing about nonsense, and learning about trivia. I haven't written anything great or accomplished great things either for God or my family. I live from paycheck to paycheck and sometimes fall in the gap in between.

I haven't even made the most of this summer. I haven't cleaned the house as well as I should've, gotten in shape, or done enough fun stuff. Heck, I haven't even worked hard enough, because I haven't planned at all for this coming semester. And, it's coming fast. Not only that, but I've bitten off more than I can chew. But, I've done that for a reason. I have to do what I have to do.

Right now, I need to do laundry. So, I'll write more later.

I'm walking on sunshine!

Ever since I decided to ease up on myself ten or twelve days ago, life has been amazing.

Physically, the water experiment seems to be going well. I did not get all my water in today. I will do better tomorrow. I feel better, my skin is better, and I worked out today. I don't have to be skinny, but I'd like to be strong and active. Regular exercise helps me control my sugars, even if I don't change my diet. I'm planning to do more this summer, but I didn't want to wait that long to get started.

Mentally, things are all right. School is getting to those final days when nobody - including me - wants to do anything! Fortunately, I have some interesting topics going on so they're having a good time and doing something too. I'm getting ready to go back to school this summer. I've decided to get a master's in instructional technology. I feel like it's a good way to incorporate my website and computer expertise with education, and to broaden my horizons as well. I think the classes sound very interesting. I am also working on a trial article for an online publication. More on that later, I hope! There are also interesting things going on in Randy's work. They have announced that they're going to a larger building in Clarksville. There will certainly be some changes but not all the details are available yet.

Spiritually, I could be doing better. I feel that God is with me, working on me, and helping me in all ways. He's been good to me, but I really haven't been as good to Him as I should be. I've been thanking Him...but I could do better. Well, I will do better on that too.

The kids are doing great and Randy's doing all right too. Rachel will be coming home this week!

Now I am getting sleepy and I know I need to get in the kitchen & wash dishes. Just wanted to jot down the good stuff going on right now.

Behind Closed Doors

I haven't blogged in awhile because...well, I just haven't made the time to write a lot lately. I started this post this morning. Then I re-thought the whole situation & now it's midnight - the next morning & I'm working on it again.

Life is busy, as usual.

This month I finally got an iPod & so far, the song I have played most has been "Behind Closed Doors" by Charlie Rich.

I liked this song when I was a kid. I wonder how much of it I understood, when I was six years old. Did I know what he meant when he said "She makes me glad that I'm a MAN!"? I wonder. But I knew it was something like "She's A Lady." I knew I wanted to be not just a woman, but a lady when I grew up.

I could go into all this, why this song in particular has been the one I've played over and over ad nauseum. And by the way, I always have one of those at any particular time in my life. A few months ago it was "Can't Fight This Feeling." Before that it was something else. My hair is longer now than it used to be, so sometimes I put it up...and behind closed doors, I let my hair hang down. But that's not why I like it. It might be what makes me think of it more often.

This made the fourth week I worked at the new place. I have liked it far more than I thought I would. I really didn't see that coming. I just realized I haven't written about that at all. Wow.

It has been wild. At first, when I was training, I cried a lot. I mean, a LOT. Then I actually did it on my own a few days, & I was OK with it. And after about a week, well, I was glad things happened the way they did. And after two weeks, I was sure it was for the best. I miss my old job. I loved it. But I like the new place too. I have a lot more autonomy and it is a lot closer to home. I may not be getting quite as good of a package, but it is nice to have more free time. I had a tough day today, but it wasn't awful. It was better than sitting at home wondering if Vanderbilt was ever going to call me back. Which they haven't.

It has been a tremendous change, going to a place where I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I am making things better. I may not ever be appreciated for that by my employers, but, I think the patients appreciate it. And, just for that alone, I feel much more valuable. Just about every day, at least one patient - sometimes more than one - hugs me, or tells me they had a good experience. Some days I will see a patient I scanned a few days ago & they will say something nice about their test. I hope they are telling the doctors that too. I try to make the patients feel as good as some of them make me feel. So far, it seems to be working.

It has its moments. I cut my thumb open yesterday with a razor, getting ready to prep a man's chest. In my old job, that wouldn't have happened because (A) we had shavers with a different type of blade, though they were trying to replace them when I left, and (B) I didn't have to prep most of my patients...though I did prep some of them so it could've happened there, I guess. On the other hand, in my old job I mashed a finger & cut my hand on a collimator, so you can get hurt anywhere. I had to spend 20 minutes getting put back together, with patients waiting. But as always, it worked out.

The rest of my life has been interesting too. It seems to be going by in a frenzied rush...sort of like the tornadoes that seem to hit on a weekly basis in this area.

A few weeks ago Randy's fraternity was re-chartered at APSU & we got to see some of our old buddies from college. That made me do some thinking...as did a picture a friend put on Facebook...as did a chance encounter with an old acquaintance, & then a second chance encounter with that acquaintance a few days later. I remembered a lot of things from our younger days that I have missed a lot since we grew up & changed. For instance, I used to love going to functions when Randy worked at The Messenger. I don't know if I realized it at the time...I probably dreaded getting ready, I was probably nervous about going, but I have great, great memories of those dinners. And since he left there, he hasn't worked anywhere I got to do that kind of socializing. Once or twice a year we have dinners with Jostens people, and I do like those. But it is so rare.

When we were young, I used to like going to see Randy play because his band played clubs where a lot of people would go: college friends, family members, his co-workers, you name it. That fell by the wayside too. Now, if his bands play out, they're in biker bars, and I'm not really comfortable there. (Though the Bikers Who Care Christmas party I went to was great!) Most of the time his bands just get together & practice, then they sit around & play cards or watch a race or game or something. I am not a part of this scene. I spend most of my weekend nights here at the house doing nothing.

This has always been a source of friction for me & Randy. His friends are mostly single, or divorced...few have girlfriends. When they get girlfriends, the girls keep them out of that circle. I don't particularly want to hang out with single women on the weekends. It is nothing personal. I just feel like I'm the only one not looking for a date, or who has to get home to the kids. It makes me wonder if Randy's buddies are looking for dates too. (If they are truly at some guy's house playing cards, probably not.) If I weren't married to Randy, I wouldn't be out trolling in some bar looking for a date. I seriously don't think I would have to, but if I did, I'd rather go sit at Borders & read for my own personal pleasure! Or sing Karaoke at Talents!

Truth be told, I LIKED the hobnobbing. I liked being the lady who was leaving with Randy! I liked the feeling that he was proud to be seen out with me in places like that. I don't necessarily have to be the most beautiful woman there, or by any means the most important one. I just want to be there, & for Randy to be proud to have me there. For a long time, that has been missing. I used to think I looked too frumpy & it didn't matter. But now, I don't feel all that frumpy anymore & by golly, I want him to be proud to be with me. So stay tuned. We will see how this pans out.

Mom's hanging in there, not getting any better really (I am a medical professional. Please don't tell me she's not going to get better. I know how this works. I also know people who have lived with this disease for a long time.) but, considering all, it is nothing short of AMAZING that she has been able to work as long as she has in her job as a school cafeteria worker. I think she would've liked to have been off work more, but at the same time, she didn't WANT to quit. But the time has come that she needs to quit her job. Hopefully, this will allow her to use her strength to feel better, instead of to get by. It is a tough time for her.

Rachel's job situation isn't good. Her hours have been cut. I hate this because we go to church with her boss, and Sunday is Easter, of course, so we will have to see her. But losing my job, though it seemed like the end of the world, has opened new doors for me, and maybe this change will do the same for Rachel.

I thought about saying something crazy, like publicly asking the church to donate money for Rachel's trip to Costa Rica because she was getting her hours cut...but I have more class than that. I am not going to be mean. Like I said, it wasn't bad for me in the long run, so it might be good for Rachel too. Besides, we've just about got this trip paid for anyway.

Longtime Channel 4 news anchor Dan Miller died this week. He's been a fixture in Nashville news. He will be missed, especially by his family. I understand he was a great dad.

Well, that's enough for now, I guess.

Oooh, dream weaver...

Splain this one.

Early in the morning last Friday, the day I lost my job, I had a crazy dream.

I was standing at the corner just down the road, where my road meets the main highway, where kids wait for the bus. Well, I looked toward Nashville (where my old job is) & saw this white and black spotted pit bull running toward Clarksville, going just as fast as he could. This dog looked healthy and fit. He didn't look at anything around him, didn't stop to sniff people or road kill or anything, just ran as fast as he could.

He didn't even stop to sniff the other dog, the black, healthy looking pit bull that was running just as fast as he could from Clarksville to Nashville. Neither did that dog stop to sniff either the other dog or the human (me). He just ran as fast as he could!

If I ever have that dream again, I am going back to bed.

Earlier in the week I had dreamed about Granny Adcock. In that dream she was older than she was when she died - it was sort of like what she might've looked like had she lived a little longer. I saw myself in her. I used to be so sad when I dreamed about her, because they always reminded me that she was gone. Now I kind of like it - it's kind of like she's still here.

Make room for the new!

It has been a happy new year, so far!

Yesterday Mom got a good report! Hallelujah! God is good! She's still a long way from well, but I feel so much more hopeful now. It may take awhile but I feel good about how it's going.

Last night Randy played at a bar in Clarksville. They probably wouldn't appreciate me calling it a beer joint, but that's what it is. I went for one set & enjoyed listening to them. I always enjoy watching my baby out there playing his bass guitar. (all you who know me, you know how I am about those tall dark haired guys with guitars!) I know I was the only non-smoker in the place. I guess I am getting old but I can't take it like I used to. You wouldn't think I grew up in a family full of smokers. Mom never smoked, but my dad & all my grandparents used to. Granny Ione (the one who died in Sept.) quit many years ago. I didn't even know she ever smoked until years later. Dad's father smoked his entire adult life. Mom's mother quit a year before she died, from a totally non-smoking-related cause. Mom's dad quit over 20 years ago & is still around to tell you about it. We now have smoke-free holidays but when I was a kid, one had to go outside to get any fresh air. Now the smokers have to go outside!

So last night before I went to see Randy & then again after, I went to hang out with the youth who were having a lock-in at our church. Since I am old & had worked all day (& we had someone call in sick too, so I had a full day), I went home & slept in my bed last night. After I picked D up at 7 am, I came back to bed & slept until 11. I don't remember the last time I slept until 11! Around 1, I picked up Rachel from her friend's sleepover. Around 5, I took her to work on the movie the drama teacher is producing, then I picked up dinner for the guys & myself before coming home.

I was glad to get here too. It is cold & windy out. I am going back to the Bridge soon - hopefully next week. I wasn't in Nashville today or I'd have gone tonight. That wind makes me feel really bad for those folks. I wish I could give them all campers or something. Anyway, I am going back. I am kind of working on another music project too - more on that later.

Be sure you look at the YouTube videos listed to the right of the blog entries. I have added a few of my favorites. I watch some of them every day! I am also working on some changes on my main webpage. I even got on MySpace! Welcome to the 21st century!

It promises to be a good year! I'm still believing for that vacation & a slimmer body!

And now, the end is near...

The end of "Elvis month," that is. Though I am not an Elvis fanatic, it has been kind of fun to find different Elvis lyrics for my blog post titles. And though I am not an Elvis fanatic, I do enjoy that month of the year when it's easy to find his movies & concerts on TV. I wouldn't enjoy them as much if I watched them constantly.

In addition to the end of Elvis month, I am nearing the end of a chapter in my career. I have officially started at Vanderbilt, & on my days off, I'm going to my old job in Clarksville to help them out & train my replacement (or replacements - not sure how that's going to pan out). I do miss my former co-workers, but...I will be glad when I don't have to work 50 hours a week anymore. Last week, my last full week at the office, I worked 45 hours. This week, I'm already exhausted. I do get Labor Day off. That will be nice - a 3 day weekend.

The new job is a lot to learn, & very busy compared to my old one. My old job could be a lot of work, but there wasn't as much going on at once. It sort of evens out - at my old job, I was the only tech & had 4 to 5 patients a day. All scans are on a single-head camera & I do it all - starting IV's, scanning, prepping & stressing, scanning again, & processing. At the new one, I'm one of 4 techs who have 16 to 20 patients a day. There are three dual-head cameras & nurses help start IV's & prep & stress patients.

One really good thing about it is that they're very understanding about the learning process. They don't expect me to walk in ready to do everything. It's much more gradual. They want me to master the paperwork & injection process before moving on. I don't know that I've got it all down pat but I'm moving along quickly, in my opinion. It may take me forever to get it all down. But, it could be a lot worse. Everything is coming together. Now if I can just get the money together.

The kids have adjusted well to the change. They're riding the bus in the mornings, but the afternoons are still much the same. I was always gone 4 days a week, sometimes late in the evenings, & usually Randy got home before me. I get home about 30 minutes to an hour later than usual. We've got something going on 4 nights a week most of the time. I can't say it's changed our lives a whole lot - it's just a little more complicated, but not a lot. I think Randy's willing to help, for the trade-off of getting out of some of our debts. That part of the equation still seems a long way off. For some reason, the money hasn't caught up with the budget yet. Hopefully, in a couple of weeks, it will, & then the sacrifices will seem more worthwhile.

Well, it's time for me to leave to go to the "old" job. Later!

Was it just a dream?

Today's blog actually started out as part of last night's blog, but because it was so long, I decided to edit things a little.

Here lately I have hinted a lot about making a change. Well, I am going to be bold here, no matter who's reading.

When I first mentioned upcoming life changes, I was about to go on vacation, & I wasn't sure what would happen when I returned. My mom was really sick. I wasn't afraid she would die while we were gone, but I was afraid we'd learn that her condition was terminal. Well, we learned she didn't have cancer, but she has some other health issues. She had her gallbladder removed, but she's still having problems. It is really too complicated to get into here. It's been hard on all of us, but of course, hardest for her, since she has been a pretty healthy person overall. It has taken a LOT out of her. So, please pray for my mom. Hopefully, she is on the track to recovery.

I also had a dream of becoming a Southern Gospel artist, & early in the summer I thought maybe this would be my last chance to make that dream come true. Through prayer, I have come to the realization that God wants me to sing for Him, but He doesn't want me to go on the road doing it. I will continue to sing at my church, possibly at others, but I won't be quitting my job & buying a tour bus.

Other things changed though, since all that. Our vacation was not very relaxing, coming home was even more stressful, and a week later, on the day Mom had her surgery, I had the horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad day at work. Since then, things have calmed down there, but having seen the imperfection (or perhaps more accurately, the truth!) there, two weeks ago I applied for another job, which I will refer to as "Job X," with some unbelievable benefits (read on).

I interviewed for it last week. Since then, I haven't heard a word. I don't know if that's good or bad. I have mixed emotions about it. I hate to leave another job. In 18 years as a nuclear medicine tech, I have never worked anywhere longer than six years. I do have retirement funds (from three different employers), so I am not completely without any kind of plan for the future, but I haven't got the years of security some people do. But in this day & age, do any of us REALLY have any job security? (See the story of Sterling Marlin, on yesterday's blog.)

"Job X" has a lot of possibilities that I don't have currently. It would be 4 10-hour days, where I seldom get more than 32 hours in 4 days now. That alone would be a HUGE difference for us. That kind of extra money would help us get a lot of debts paid off a lot sooner. I would have to drive about 30 more miles a day, but the difference in gas money would be more than covered by the extra work hours. But the biggest difference is that "Job X" would give us significant tuition assistance for our children. I know of NO other employers in this area that offer that benefit. Right now, I am just hoping I can get hold of enough cash to buy all the kids' school supplies during tax-free weekend next week, much less pay college tuition in three years. There are other pros & cons, which kind of balance out.

Yes, we have made some terrible financial decisions, & that is not the fault of my current, former, or possible future employers. Still, when I look at "Job X," I see a chance to regain some of the footing I have lost over the years. That makes it hard to deal with the ever-increasing possibility that I WON'T get offered "Job X." I mean, if I haven't got it yet, are my chances of getting it improving? Possibly, I guess. But at this point, I can't keep sitting around thinking about how much better life will be when it happens. I need to be content where I am. Can I do that? Can I make those changes in my life without "Job X"?

I was excited about several possibilities other than the tuition deal.

One: I wanted to buy a hybrid or other earth-friendly new vehicle in a year or so, when we'll need a third vehicle. Without "Job X," I'll most likely be buying a used car. That's OK. Used gas-misers get sold too. I can live with a used vehicle.

Two: I'd like to be able to "eat green." Right now, I have to be really careful with the grocery money. I usually end up going over budget in this area. I am not that good with couponing & scouring the sale papers. Those actions usually just make me want items I don't really need. My biggest problem there is that I should've taught the kids to appreciate pinto beans & cornbread when they were toddlers. Instead, I fed them pizza & hot dogs. Sigh.

Even if I had cash to spare, there are no organic food stores in Clarksville. "Job X," in Nashville, is close to several. But yesterday, I went to the Organic Farmers' Market in White's Creek, which is only open from 8 a.m. to noon on Saturday. While I enjoyed those $3/lb Cherokee Purple heirloom tomatoes, I probably won't make the 20-mile trek down there next week. Instead, I'll drive 5 miles to the nearby garden center that sells regular tomatoes for $0.50/lb. Not organic, but a lot less driving. As much as I want to help support organic farmers, it is currently a major sacrifice for me to drive that far to pay 6 times the price.

Three: I'd like to do more cool things with the family while they're the right age. Right now our entertainment budget includes HBO & TiVo. Actually GOING to a movie blows the budget, & we've done that twice this month. And I only went to one of those, a matinee! I'd like for us to attend concerts occasionally & see more independent films together, & of course, nights like that also include dinners out.

Four: I'd hoped to have the extra money to give nice Christmas presents not only to my kids & my husband (who evidently think they're supposed to break the bank every year) but to my parents, grandparents, & other family members. One reason I'm in so much debt is because I've overspent my Christmas budget almost every year. If "Job X" doesn't come through, I guess the credit cards will. That's not how I want to live, though.

Five: I was actually stoked about the 3/4 mile walk from the parking lot to "Job X" & back daily. I suppose I could figure out another way to squeeze in 1.5 miles of walking a day.

There are other things. I had dreams of maybe getting into education or research at "X," which are opportunities I'll never have at the office. Can I do them independently? Maybe, I don't know. But, there are people who would love to have my job, too. It's not that bad. It's just harder to scrape by.

Sorry about the novel, but I had a lot to get off my chest. I feel better now.

The waiting is the hardest part.

I believe I've used this title before. It's still true. Usually when there's something "out there" in the forseeable, not too distant, future, just waiting to see what happens IS the hardest part. Whether you're waiting to see what happens after a job interview, or wondering if you're going to bring another little soul into the world, or waiting for a bank loan to go through, there's a lot of anxiety. It can be "good anxiety," but it's nerve-wracking just the same. So while I am waiting for some things to transpire - could be a month or so before I know details I can share with everyone else - I'm trying to keep my mind busy.

My body will be busy today no matter what. Like I said yesterday, today I'm teaching in VBS for the first time since 2003. My body is not happy about this, as I have awakened with a stiff & sore left hip & lower back. My body may be protesting after I walked around a hospital wearing uncomfortable shoes, or because I spent a lot of time in the car going to Nashville & back, & to Clarksville & back, & to Ashland City & back, & to Clarksville & back, or because I sat in the floor at Books-a-Million watching crazy people walk around in costume last night, or because I had about six hours of sleep instead of a nice eight.

Totally changing the subject...Didja hear about my favorite driver, Sterling Marlin? He hasn't had a great year - or two, really - but he was planning to step back & race part-time once he finished out this year's contract. Well, he lost his ride this week in yet another typical NASCAR team move. Here's what Kyle Petty had to say. People used to race on a handshake & now even contracts are no good.

Well, I have to walk the dog, eat something & shower before I leave today, & at some point I have to get the kids going too! So I'm getting out of here for now.

There are no strangers

First line of the chorus of "Orphans of God," by the Talley Trio. I really want to go see them Sunday night. If I do, it will probably be by myself. But, that's OK. I would call someone like Miranda or Cindy, but they'd have to drive from Nashville. And Lynn would have to bring her kids, & mine wouldn't be there & - well, I'll probably just go by myself.

I haven't been to a gospel personal appearance in years. I don't really remember how it's done. I'm almost as curious to see that aspect of it.

I'm waiting for my mammogram right now. Hopefully, I can get Rachel to the Dunn Center by noon. I really hope so. I am so close to having all this together. But it's kind of scary - what if I can't pull it off? What if they take too long? I am nervous.

Later now. . .

I called Randy & he took her to the Dunn Center. That's where her high school's seniors, then later, my niece's class, will be graduating. Rachel's in choir & they're singing. So after I get my lunch, I'll head over there myself.

I see that soon, McDonald's will start offering DVD rentals. What's next? Church services? A florist?

Later!

Never say goodbye.

Tonight I'm going to wax nostalgic for a bit.

You see, here in Middle Tennessee, a unique and special man is leaving the airwaves, signing off after 41 years on the air. Well, maybe he was actually on air somewhere before 1967, but he's been at NewsChannel 5 since 1966. His name is Chris Clark.

Chris Clark has been at Channel 5 ALL MY LIFE. Not that the man is old. He is 68, but he looks like he's got plenty of years left. One of my co-workers said, "I remember when he came to Channel 5." I said, "I don't." Other news reporters have come & gone. The "competition," WSMV, Channel 4, has been home to John Tesh & Pat Sajak. Chris himself hired a young Oprah Winfrey. On the Channel 5 website, it says he is the longest-running anchor in Channel 5 history. Well, DUH! I wonder how many news reporters ANYWHERE have lasted at one station longer than 41 years. Not many, I would wager.

Here is an excerpt (well, most of) the e-mail I sent to Chris:

I was born in Nashville in 1967 & have lived in the Channel 5 Viewing Area
my entire life - in Ridgetop, Goodlettsville, Greenbrier, Clarksville, & Pleasant View. When I was 22 & moved to Madisonville, KY, I was so relieved to see that WTVF was on the local cable!!! My husband can vouch for the fact that when I was homesick, I would watch Channel 5 just to get a little dose of home. (Although I was known to cry at the sight of a Tennessee Pride sausage commercial. Something about tasting the sunrise, I guess.)

Chris, you have been one of the family. Your smiling face entered our living room every night at 6 sharp. When I was starting kindergarten my mom said, "You'll sit at a desk," & immediately I thought of Chris Clark & the news desk at Channel 5. Needless to say, I was a little disappointed when I got to school!

NewsChannel 5 without Chris Clark will be like fries without ketchup & cereal without milk - it'll still be NewsChannel 5 but it won't be the same!!!

Wishing you all life's blessings & especially a long, healthy & happy retirement!

I didn't share the story about my grandparents' dog, Dixie. She used to get excited at 10 pm every night because it was time for her evening treat. Granddaddy swore she could tell time because she would look at the clock. I countered that it was because she recognized Chris Clark's voice over the TV. Maybe we were both right.

There's not much I can say that hasn't already been said about this man who has, in my mind, been synonymous with Channel 5 and Nashville news in general. When I was a kid, I thought he was at least as knowledgeable & popular as Walter Cronkite; as a young adult, I realized he was only human & wasn't perfect about everything, but you have to say this for the man - a more dedicated newsman you'll never find. I mean, 41 years at one job! That says it all.

Best wishes, Chris - we'll see you then.

I've got a mansion, just over the hilltop

And I can't wait to be there!!!

I started to name tonight's missive "nuts & bolts, nuts & bolts...". You know what comes next. If you don't...sorry. Ask a cheerleader.

I could use a cheerleader right now. Today has been a hard day. Work was stressful enough. Outside of work was stressful, too. Randy was home trying to get some work lined up for our plumbing. Randy & I don't do major plumbing or other major household repairs very well. By that I mean, not only do we not know beans about major problems, we don't emotionally handle those kind of problems well either. Give us a new surround sound or TiVo or computer network, we can handle that. We can scan your photos & mail them around the world. We can sing whatever you want to hear. We can produce musically talented younguns. But we can just barely plunge the toilet.

I really am not being fair when I say that. Randy can change a washer or even the sink or toilet itself. I can install washing machines. I can MacGyver my way into rigging together a toilet flush apparatus out of paper clips. I highly recommend a plunger for every commode in the house. And, as I said, Randy can even put in new toilets like a pro. But we are the dream customers for plumbers, because we will - left to our own devices - agree to pay whatever the plumber says we should. You say gold pipes are today's standard? Sure. They cost how much? Well, if we gotta have 'em.

My co-workers think I married an idiot. Well, I COULD sit back & compare husbands & get into vile name-calling, but I am gonna take the high road here. I didn't marry an idiot. As I said, he's a whiz at the wiring & sound stuff. And, he knows the difference in conjugating verbs & dangling participles. (Boy, has THAT been financially lucrative. Just like my knowledge of principles of accounting, identifying wildflowers, & comparing the vegetation of north- & south-facing slopes.) He's a good cook. He's a good daddy. He is a sweetheart who hung my new hammock, which I bought with my birthday money & immediately felt guilty about (turns out, though, the cost of the hammock is just a drop in the bucket, pun intended, in the grand scheme of the 21st century Watergate scandal). He hates me right now. I don't think there's anything I can say that would help that. I didn't tell him he was an idiot. He inferred it from what I said about my co-workers. And I didn't tell him everything they said. Nor did I tell them everything he said.

I am not going to say anything when he gets off the phone with his mama either. She's in there giving him names of plumbers too. When I did that I got lambasted. I don't hear him giving her down the road. (Honestly, though, I would worry if I did.) No, I am gonna take the high road here & NOT say, "See, even SHE thinks you could do better than that estimate you got." For all I know, he might've told her what a meanie I was, & THEN she went & got more numbers.

No, that's not what happened. She told her sister, who told her that we were getting reamed! & gave her a number for us to call. So she called to tell Randy, who felt more like an idiot.

Believe it or not, I can find things to be thankful for. It seems like a pipe dream to imagine moving out of this house & into something I might dream about. Unfortunately, I owe too much on this one & houses seem really, really expensive here to me. I found this article - America's 10 most overpriced housing markets - & believe it or not, I didn't find Clarksville, Pleasant View or even Nashville on the list!

Ten more things I'm thankful for, & then I have to get ready for bed.

1. My patients were all really nice today, &
2. All the stress tests went well.
3. I spoke to both my brothers - even the one who lives in NJ - today. And -
4. They're both doing fine.
5. I made it to Derek's band concert tonight just in time, & didn't even have to exceed the speed limit. much.
6. I am SO glad I have been using the CPAP. Without it, I wonder how I would be functioning right now.
7. I am SO glad I got rid of all those attempts at side businesses that sucked out a lot of my time & benefitted me very, very little. If I were still doing all that stuff, I wonder how much more of my time they'd be draining.
8. I am SO glad I got back into Southern Gospel music, because without the positive, upbeat messages I feed my mind, I would really be down & out right now.
9. I am SO thankful I won that mp3 player at the state nuclear medicine meeting 10 days ago, because it has kept me entertained & given me a lot more inspiration to sing!
and finally, though this might seem a little crazy...
10. I am SO thankful I read Vestal Goodman's biography, Vestal! this weekend, because I need all the inspiration I can get. And how they got money in miraculous situations - yes, Lord, I needed that.
Two more? Three? I got paid today. I have a check I forgot to cash from my grandmother. I also got a check for $50 from a prescription program Randy's enrolled in, where we get our copay back every month. And, they sent us next month's coupon too. Praise the Lord!

Quick, easy, & almost painless.

I've changed some of the You Tube videos tonight. I have been really, really busy the last day or two. Work has been crazy, life has been crazy, but all's well & we're getting through it. Just wanted to drop in & comment a little. I don't believe in reincarnation, & I don't think my mom does either, but I've heard her say, "In my next life, I'm gonna be..." when she's seen something or someone that has a pretty sweet existence. So, along those lines, in my next life, I don't want to know how to drive. I want to live a life where I can walk anywhere I need to go.

When I was a teenager, I walked all the time. I went to my grandmother's & walked to the store, to all my friends' houses (the ones who lived in town, anyway) & to the post office. I didn't walk to work because I didn't WANT to. But I probably could have. Occasionally I walked to school or home from school - usually, since my house was right along the way, I could catch a ride. And then, I WANTED to drive. I would drive for hours. Huh. Gas wasn't $3 a gallon, either. It was about $0.60 per back then.

Now, I drive all the time, when I'm not working. I left the house at 7:20 am. I took the kids to school - 9 miles - then went to work - 20 more miles. Got there about 8:20. Left there at 5 pm. Went through the Walgreens drive thru on the way home, because they have it down & it really is faster through the drive up window. Got home at 5:30. Rachel had a piano lesson at 6, a half-hour away. While she was practicing, I ate. Then I got cash & took her thru the drive-thru. Then we went to the grocery store on the way home. I got home at 8:15. I put up the groceries & sat down here at the computer. In a few minutes I will go back to the bedroom & read for awhile before giving it up for the night. I put, oh, I'm guessing about, let's see...9, 20, 15, 15, 1, 1, 15...76 miles on the car today. I think. That's better than it used to be. When I worked in Nashville, I put 56 miles on the car just going back & forth to work. Then the kids had ball practice & stuff to do, & there wasn't even a drive-thru anywhere close.

Where we live is somewhat of a central location, being 25 miles from my family, 14 from Randy's mom (opposite directions, of course), 15 miles from each of our workplaces (which are about 8 miles apart, I guess), & 9 miles from the kids' school. And we are really close to church - it's only about 1.5 miles away. But that's the only place we're close to (except for 2 convenience stores within a mile of us) & of course, none of the places I mentioned before are close to each other. Rachel likes to go to another church on Wednesday nights. That's 12 miles in another direction, & in the middle of nowhere. I mean, it's as far from civilization as we are out here. Unfortunately, being far from civilization does not equal privacy. Nothing against the neighbors (today, anyway) but we are surrounded. Most of the time, though, people leave us alone. That's a good thing.

I don't know how we could realistically make life easier. I can think of several unrealistic ways. As long as the kids are in school, I won't be moving closer to work. The cost of housing skyrockets the closer you get to the school, & besides, moving there would be further from work. I figure in seven years, it won't matter how close we are to the school anyway. As long as I'm married to Randy (& that's not really negotiable), quitting work & homeschooling aren't options. And even if I DID do that, we'd still have to go to piano lessons & the grocery store. That leg of the trip was 32 miles. And if I'd had to fetch that prescription (which I might've talked Randy into doing), then it would've been another 30 miles - only a tad less than what I put on the car as it is. And, Randy made two trips to Clarksville today anyway - Derek needed a posterboard for a project & he didn't tell me, he told Randy, who said, "Well, we'll go out to eat while we're up there."

I am thankful that I have a car. How messed up would my life be without one???

It's a beautiful morning!

And, so I hear on NewsChannel 5, it's gonna be a beautiful day! In a way, all days are beautiful. I've been looking forward to a nice, sunny, comfortable day though. It's been too cool, or windy, or rainy, or something to be comfortable outside for a couple of weeks now. So I plan to get out there & enjoy this day.

I had a strange dream last night. I think it was brought on by being pulled in too many directions at once. That, & the fact that Derek forgot I was picking him up after school yesterday, so he rode the bus home. Meanwhile, I was at the school with smoke spewing out of my ears because I couldn't get to the elementary school in time to meet the bus because the traffic is SO bad in Pleasant View in the afternoons. I had plans to take him to a store in Ashland City before picking up the dog at 4:30 in Pleasant View, but I had to go the 8 miles in the opposite direction to the house. Well, things worked out. When Randy got home, he took Derek shopping (which is something I hate to do anyway), & Rachel & I went to pick up Bonnie.

In my dream we were visiting Randy's great-aunt, recently widowed, who lived behind a park. (In reality, he DOES have a great-aunt who was widowed within the last year. She doesn't live near a park, to my knowledge. My mom & grandfather do, though.)

Derek was playing football in said park with a junior pro league. I went with one of the other moms (who lives near us, in real life) to a house where some of the moms were sitting by windows, watching their sons play, but most were in other rooms sitting around gossiping. The mom who took me there just left me with this group of women I barely knew. (In real life, this would probably happen; this mom is kind of like that.) The ones who were friendly to me were the "snobby" moms; the more down-to-earth moms (whom I'd probably really be more comfortable with) were snobby to me.

After a while, I decided to find Randy & Rachel. I'm not sure what Randy was doing but Rachel had gone with some of her friends to work at this store downtown (which looked more like Goodlettsville, which in reality is a lot further away than it was in the dream). I called Randy & asked him to meet me. Then I thought I'd drive downtown & get Rachel & then meet Randy. But instead of being a short drive (as I thought it would be in the dream), traffic there was awful (ha! just like Pleasant View) because they were having some sort of festival (which, in real life, is happening in downtown Clarksville this weekend). So I try to call Randy to let him know, but his cell phone is in the truck with me. I try calling Rachel, but someone else has her phone. I go to Rachel's workplace. I can't get hold of her - she's in another location. Finally, I get Rachel when a bus arrives, carrying employees from one work locale to another. I was letting Rachel have it for not keeping her cell phone nearby when the mom who took me to the football mom house appears out of nowhere & says, "I need you to come with me." I said, "I know Randy's mad, but he needs to hear what happened." When I got to him, he was yelling & really letting me have it. Then the alarm went off. What a relief!!!

The moral of the story: who knows??? It was just a dream, right???

Well, I'm not going to analyze my dream, or anything else for that matter. I think, instead, I'll go outside & get the paper & let the pets out for some sunshine. I'm still a little sleepy.

It's just another day.

I feel like using the title, "Nothing happened in Greenbrier today." I don't have any idea if anything happened in Greenbrier today. I spent my day in Clarksville. It was just another day. I had a pretty light schedule. It was a beautiful day, for sure. It was about 65 degrees (unlike yesterday when we had record-low temps), sunny, really nice. I went out to pay some bills at lunch. I got off at a decent hour. I took Rachel to her piano lesson. I sat in the Baptist church parking lot & read some of "Flood." That's about it. Pretty ordinary, but it has been a great day.

Let's see...what is happening in my life that might be newsworthy...oh! I've decided to put the Chauncey Almanac on Blogger too. I will be sure to add that to my blog roll when I get it done.

Later!!!

I can't tell you why...

Hope everyone is having a blessed Easter weekend. Or Passover week, for those who celebrate that holiday.

We've had beautiful, though unseasonably cold, weather here. Tomorrow it's predicted that we'll have a record-setting low temperature Easter. I think the predicted low tonight's 20 degrees??? Yes, that IS a little cold for Tennessee for April 8. I DO remember an April 21 when we got an inch or two of snow, though.

I haven't had to do as much driving as usual - yet. Tomorrow's driving day for me - I'll be hitting Mom's, Granny's, & Dad's. They live within a 5-mile radius of each other, about 25 miles from here. Rachel hasn't been her usual traveling self this weekend. The only driving we've done for her is around the corner, where she spent Thursday night with a friend. We spent most of yesterday hanging around here waiting for Rachel to be picked up by a young man, who didn't come through. I didn't want him coming to pick her up & discovering that she was in an empty house...knowing where that might lead...even though she claims that would never happen. I'm sure she hates the fact that I have a great memory. It's only been 25 years since I was 15, you know.

So since I was here yesterday, I did most of the usual housework. I have other projects I could do, if I wanted. Unlike my typical,"Oh, I'll never get everything done," feeling I have most weekends (when I've got too much to do & not enough time, or I want to be doing something REALLY important or fun or life-changing), I've got a much better attitude today. I can't tell you why my attitude is better. Thus the title for today's blog.

This morning I helped Randy get the last of the floor-changing project trash out of the garage. He took that to the dump, while Derek & I went running around. I planned my trip very well. First we dropped something off in Adams, then went to Guthrie. I wanted to see Robert Penn Warren's house. I've been approaching both my career & my hobby of writing in a very intellectual manner of late. Mr. Warren was from Guthrie & so I am inspired to greatness. Seriously! I wonder if he was related to my aunt Lucille. She was a Warren.

After that, we traveled to Clarksville where we got lunch, dropped off some clothes at the Goodwill, picked up a prescription & got the boy a haircut. Then I came home & napped. So here I am, writing a little, sharing my joy in life, & ready to get up & approach the next task on the list. Later!!!

How ya' gonna keep 'em down on the farm?

As I recall, this song had a message like, "How are you going to keep the kids on the farm once they've seen Paris?" Or, for that matter, any big city?

In January, Randy & I chaperoned a church youth trip to "Warmth in Winter," an annual gathering of teenaged Methodists & their brave adult advisors. This was our third year, & we've almost got the job down now. One of the boys asked why anyone would want to live in a city the size of Nashville. Most of the other youth agreed in their doubts about city living. They've never lived anywhere larger than Clarksville (which is no small town anymore - it's well over 100,000). Most of them haven't ever lived anywhere bigger than Pleasant View (population somewhere around 3600 - which is about 1500 more than it was when we moved out here in 1993). All of them currently live out here in the country between those two municipalities, out here where subdivisions and cattle farms co-exist, where the Interstate & the old Dixie Bee Line connect us to the nearby state capitol, where roads are named after people's great-grandparents.

I felt like the closest thing to an expert on the matter, having a brother who lives in Weehawken, NJ & works in Manhattan. I told him that some people like living close to work, where they can have a nice dinner after work or see the Titans play and not worry about parking or driving home late at night. Having worked in Nashville for several years and always living way out of town, I can appreciate that desire. I can also appreciate the desire to live in the country.

I've spent a lot of time pondering these things lately. I've pondered a lot of things. Most of them seem kind of insignificant. Here are a few sample questions.

Should I cut my hair? Almost everyone I work with thinks long hair looks terrible on older women. I'm only 39. But I'm almost 40! I hate when my hair looks bushy. I used to look good with short hair. But I think I look old with short hair now. I have a lot of gray, but I like the color of my hair. If I let my hair grow it will be wild and unprofessional looking. But I would love to have long hair, if only just so I could say I'm not disobeying I Corinthians 11.

But are we supposed to be wearing headcoverings too???

Why am I haunted by my decision to get out of the nursing program back in 1987? Didn't I really want to be a technologist, & nuclear medicine seemed like the perfect marriage of patient care & technology for me? Didn't I want to be a technologist, like, as long as I knew what one was??? Why haven't I felt as respected as a technologist? Why do I think I have to be a nurse to get respect? Would I really get more respect as one? Why is it so hard for someone like me to go back to college to get my RN degree? And why do I even want to?

Why didn't I know when I was younger that...I would wish I hadn't taken birth control pills? That I would wonder what it would've been like to have as many kids as God would have given me? That I would regret having epidural anesthesia? That I would regret using disposable diapers, and being in debt so much that I never got to be a solely-at-home mom? That I would wish I'd started homeschooling the kids in 1997? That I would wish I'd been more active & less interested in the computer???

Why can't I agree with Randy that our life isn't so bad...that cheap & easy (& overprocessed) food from Wal-Mart is best...that I need to work a 40-hour week in a hospital job even if it means driving 40 miles one way to work...that two kids was more than enough...that women wearing pants & short hair is not necessarily a bad thing...that public schools are better than homeschooling...that constant TV & movie entertainment is a necessity instead of a luxury...that eating home-grown food is a luxury & not a necessity? Why can't I be a good housekeeper and work full time like his mom did? With very little help from his dad, who preferred working outside the house instead?

Where did these zillions & zillions of homeschooling, homesteading women find the men who wanted their wives to live that way??? And for the record, NO, I'm not looking for a man!!! Though Randy & I disagree on a lot of stuff, we do love each other very much. But if they could teach Randy what they know...naah, I don't think I'd want to change him that much. I just wonder though.

I DO know why there are few blogs for & by Christian women like me, who don't live on a farm, who don't homeschool, who watch TV. BECAUSE ALL THE OTHERS ARE BUSY DOING HOUSEKEEPING JOBS & I'M SITTING HERE AT THE DANG COMPUTER.

On the road again...

It's one of those days. I drove the kids to school. I drove home. I drove the neighbor to her niece's house (just a mile or so away, but she couldn't have walked that far), and drove home again. This afternoon I will pick the kids up, and drive back home. Then I have to drive back & pick up the kitten, who is at the vet getting "fixed." Then I will drive home again.

I am hoping at one point during this day to get to go about 10 miles from here to pick up some stuff someone offered on Freecycle...I really want those wire shelves for the garage.

After I bring the cat home, one of us will drive Rachel back to the school for a choir social, and I have to drive to Clarksville to run some errands & pick up my farm order. Maybe THEN I can park the car for a few hours. Oh, no. I forgot that she is planning to spend the night at a girl's house in Pleasant View. So I'll be driving again most likely, unless I can convince Randy that the Friday Night Card Players won't need him until afterward.

Tomorrow does not look any easier for me. I have made plans to "hang out" with one of my best friends, then Rachel needs a ride to - and from - a birthday party about 7 miles away tomorrow night. And of course we'll probably do our usual run to see all my family on Sunday. So much for resting on the weekend.

Sometime I have to wash clothes & do the usual weekly housework too...

My heart is heavy for the families of those killed by the tornadoes of the last couple days. I especially hurt for Enterprise, AL, which is one of those charming little towns we went through last summer when we took the first of what we hope will be many "post-yearbook camp" Florida trips. Randy's job takes him to Auburn, AL every summer for a couple of days & usually we go with him.

Well, life is too busy for blogging for me today...so I hope everyone is doing well. I found some funny photos that I want to post on here sometime. I just can't do it today.

Bits and pieces

Back in the day, I used to work at a factory in Clarksville. I actually worked in the office. I only worked there four months, but that was enough for a lifetime of experiences. We used to get a little pamphlet every week or so called "Bits and Pieces." I always found myself humming the old Dave Clark 5 tune. The funny thing was, I didn't really remember the song or who did it. I just remembered the tune of the chorus, & I thought, that has to be a song, but I don't remember where I heard it. Sesame Street, maybe??? Then, one day several years later, I was listening to an oldies station & I heard the song. Immediately I recalled the mystery from my short office career. I also remembered my mom's Dave Clark 5 LP, which I probably scratched up when I was a kid, listening to it so much.

I thought I'd just write about bits & pieces of what I did today, and maybe a little about what I wrote last night.

My brother, Garner, told me he was buying an old turntable this past weekend. I have one that I've used maybe twice. I'm glad I have it, though, because I have about 100 LPs that I just can't sell or give away.

I wrote a little about Huell Howser last night. I found this blog about one of his fans. I just recently learned that he was born in Gallatin. So were my niece and nephew. If I had a dollar for every time I've been to Gallatin...well, I'd probably have a couple hundred dollars. I can't believe someone would drive from ANYWHERE to go to Gallatin. Of course, this fan's name is Lonewacko, so judge for yourself. His first mistake was talking to someone under 30 about the man. Huell's been away from Channel 4 for nearly 30 years, & probably lived in Nashville while he worked there. Another thing Lonewacko didn't know is that the town is known in these parts as "Gracious and Growing Gallatin." It must've been on a commercial or something. And growing is one thing Gallatin has done well. The population's probably tripled since 1979. Where do these people come from? Maybe some might have flown out of Nashville, but there are a lot of people here in Tennessee from other places.

Today I spent a lot of time analyzing the family budget. I think things are improving, though slowly. That's all right. I used to switch the car tags every day, remember?

I did a lot of dishes today. The kids have been on a cruise with their grandmother (which is one reason why I didn't spend Derek's birthday writing about him - he was celebrating somewhere else), & we haven't used a lot of dishes. I folded some clothes too - again, I haven't washed as many, but the kids'll be back tomorrow & I'm sure there'll be plenty of laundry to do. Fortunately, Rachel's pretty good with laundry too.

I went to pick up my farm order & went out junkin' a little at the thrift stores, then I came home & I've been making DVD's for my grandmother. The show I'm recording tonight is "Cumberland Highlanders," which comes on RFD-TV. Eddie Pennington's on this one. They have a bluegrass festival every year about 2 hours from here, but last year I didn't get to go because of Rachel's colorguard days. I was so disappointed that everything hit at the same time. Well, maybe this year...

So now I'm going to the living room to make soap! Actually, I'm making laundry detergent tonight. That should be interesting. If it works out, I'll give you the recipe.

Later!