Ice, ice, baby... Too cold, too cold

Sitting in a motel room because I'm sort of stuck in Nashville because it's icy. It's kind of nice. I've been lying around and watching a marathon of "My Big Fat Fabulous Life."  My life is boring. Lol. Not really...

Since I last posted a lot has changed. Most notably, I've changed jobs. I'm a PRN tech for Vanderbilt Heart. Hence I'm stuck in icy Nashville instead of home using snow days. I still sub sometimes, though the pay's not great, because I need extra money, but I do get paid more than I did as a full-time teacher. 

It would take all night to write about the last year. Sonny died in August.  In December we got two pound kitties, Ivy and Josie. Ivy has just started allowing us to pet her this month. Josie's not there yet.  They're cute and energetic. They're a lot of fun.

I'd like to start blogging again. I've finally got all the classes out of the way for the masters degree. I've got the credential so now I need to use it. I just have a hard time managing my time. That's one of my lent goals- I'm giving up computer games/puzzles. I'm not giving up the computer, because the time waster is Spider Solitaire and the puzzles are sort of a gateway drug. So maybe when I don't have that to eat up my night, I can do more writing. I hope so anyway.  

tapestry

Don't die of shock because I'm writing two days in a row!

I'm actually seeing some benefit in using this as a method for web curation.  I Tweet interesting articles but I don't think I can use Twitter in class.  Interestingly, Tumblr isn't blocked, or at least it wasn't earlier in the school year.

Here's an article from Neuroscience News about a polio-like illness recently found in California.  I'd just Tweeted about another one... that one was in the emergency medicine journal Medscape Emergency.

I'm teaching about ECGs right now.  Here's a blog I just found:  Keeping ECGs Simple

Professional dress article in NurseTogether.com... I may have to see if I can get into the "inner circle" of this site.  I'm sure I can add something!

I've been a little disturbed by this recent news:  Three Parents.  Can you see me shivering?  Eeehhwww.

Another possibly troubling lab test... new DNA test for Down Syndrome.  As a parent of a child born with a birth defect, I know that knowing what we were facing before he was born was a wonderful gift, but I wonder how this test will affect abortion rates.  I'm sure there will be many heated debates about this one (but hopefully, not on this blog...).

Growing up, the first person I ever knew with Downs was Dawn Hulsizer, who passed away Sunday night and was buried today.  My heart is so heavy for her family, but she is flying with the angels now.  I love the picture her family put on the funeral home website.  I can't help but wonder... what if we're not the "normal" ones, they are?  Or if they're the more advanced, evolved models of humanity? I can just hear her dad calling her "Dawnie" with his New York accent...

Anybody remember diagramming sentences?  Here's a fun article about those.  Speaking of sentences, here are some really strange sentences.

I've got to stop.  I could go on all night doing this.

Yet another type of testing in this article from NPR:  You got WHAT in the mail?

Autism diagnosis changes...

Finally, my new favorite website ever.  Weekly Top 40

'Cause we live in a time when meaning falls in splinters from our lives

Today has been a hard day.

It has been a month now, and I can't say it makes sense yet.  I feel terrible, like somehow I let her down by not being able to keep her alive.  She wanted to live, so badly.  And yet I know that she wouldn't want to come back now.  She suffered so much.  I think she just got so tired.

I miss her.  I wish I could have kept her with me for the rest of my life, but only if she was healthy and enjoying life, and not having to go through all that chemo and radiation.  I thought about that occasionally, like what if we were out on a Sunday afternoon and had an accident and went together?  But that's not the way it happened and for the family's sake, I know that's a good thing. 

This experience has changed me and I'm not sure I like the way I have turned out, but I have learned a lot about myself in the past month.

I know that life is short.  I have spent too much time playing cards and looking at silly blogs and tumblrs.  I am going to use my spring break a little more wisely than I have in the past.  I am going to declutter my house 15 minutes at a time.  Yes, that's a FlyLady concept but please don't put me on the email list!  I have to declutter my emails!!!  :D

I know that life is short and we should do things we want to do and things we think will make a difference in the world, even if the difference seems small.  I have searched my heart and my soul to figure out if I am headed in the right direction.

I have had to face some of my past, not that I have a lot of regrets, but I think we should learn from our past, and one mistake I have made over and over and over again is that I seem to never be happy.  Is that why I can't get a nuclear medicine job in Nashville, because I have the reputation for never being content where I am?  I know that's why I have such a dirty house, because I was never happy living here.  I wanted to live in Ridgetop.  Now, I don't have much reason to.  Mom's gone, Grandaddy's gone, and Randy works 40 miles from there.  This house is 17.5 miles from his work and 18.5 miles from mine... and I only work 10 months out of the year. 

I like my car, though.

I may not always like teaching but I like my classroom.  I could improve it, but I like it.

It's late and I have an appointment early.  It may not ever make sense, but maybe I can be at peace with that.

Some people call me the Space Cowboy...

I couldn't decide on a song title for today's post.  Yesterday was Christmas, and Mom is doing better so I didn't need anything else for Christmas.  Randy was really disappointed that we had to spend our Christmas money on Rachel's car.  He never would tell me what he wanted to get me... or what he secretly wanted to spend that money on... but I wasn't disappointed at all.

Well, I don't like to post about job stuff, not anymore, but I am going to admit that I'd been interested in a nuc med job.  I miss working in nuc med and not just because teaching is a stressful job.  (Nucs could be stressful too.)  Today I talked to a former co-worker who is the imaging director at her current workplace.  She was not very encouraging (it's a long story but she was very nice), though she did say she'd consider me for summer PRN work.  I have 2 possibilities for that, which is better than where I've been in the past.

So, I guess I'm staying in the classroom.  Last semester ended on a sad note.  I can't go into all the details but all of you know about what happened in Connecticut at the end of the semester.  That happened right after I had a not-so-hot observation and right before I got a threatening email.  I felt like there was a huge shadow hanging over the idea of having two weeks off.  On the other hand, I was looking forward to having two weeks - or at least one - to plan ahead.  I've done a little of that today and I'm glad.  I'm not ready, but I'm feeling a lot better about it.

Come fly away, let's fly, let's fly away...

Are you familiar with the FlyLady?  I have been a fledgling off-and-on for awhile.  I don't usually like adhering to a "system" unless it's something I've designed myself (for example, I go through my list every morning - I made it up one summer when I was having a hard time getting up at a "decent" hour and getting ready to go anywhere - for some reason I have no problem remembering "Tea, hair, meds, dress, teeth, eat, phone.").  So, I've struggled with sticking to the FlyLady system too.

A lot of people who know me probably think I am fairly organized.  Most of them might be surprised if they came to my house and saw it in the pigsty condition in which it usually stays.  Many things have contributed to this.  It started when I was working part-time at NorthCrest and I felt guilty because I didn't have my house clean all the time.  Well, I guess really it started before that.  I was "born organized" as FlyBabies say, but when I started dating Randy I discovered that one could survive while flying by the seat of the pants (Not to be confused with "FLYing.") not just where cleaning is concerned but in many other ways as well.   A few years later I wanted to fill my house with more little ones - so I ended up with 3 cats and a dog - and my house got messier and messier.  Then my health started interfering, where I couldn't stand up for long periods of time.  And somewhere in there my work schedule started interfering too.  Not only was I working at home just to keep up, I was taking online classes... and of course I had to rebel and do nothing to "relax."

So the house is a wreck.

I REALLY want to clean it up and post pictures of before and after.  I am not sure I want people to know how bad it is, but maybe once I get it under control I'll be okay with it.  One challenge I have is that it's kind of like catching up on your laundry or your dishes or for us teachers, catching up all the grading... just because you get it completely clean (or caught up) doesn't mean you never have to clean it again.  It's a constant job; it never really ends.  The FlyLady system has a lot of built-in routines to address this issue.  I am going to try it again.  Now if this works I will have to write another blog entry about self-discipline and the Word of God... but more on that later.

you might think I'm delirious...

Oh, it was back in the day.  Way, way back in the day... a lot of water's gone under the bridge since then - the Prince Green bridge, or its predecessor, which I hit in my big old land barge Catalina - and I am reliving it tonight on Facebook.  I heard this song the other day and I would've posted on Tim Horn's wall how this reminded me of going to Ridgecrest, but I had posted a link to "PYT" on Tim's wall the day before and God knows I don't need anybody thinking I'm fooling around with somebody because I posted songs from 1984 on their Facebook wall.

I normally don't like to think about 1984 much, and especially not this time of the year and now, my baby is starting HIS senior year and I know exactly how many years it's been (do the math!  there's a teacher answer for you).  But for some reason, this year has mellowed my memory of 1984 and I can deal with the ugly memories... most of them anyway.  The ones I don't like to remember are the ugly ones caused by me.  The other not-so-pretty memories, well, they are what they are and at least I still have them.

Summer's about over for me.  We had open house at school tonight.  Down here in the extremely hot South we send our kids back to school in the heat of August so we can spend a ton of money on air conditioning (and believe you me, we need our air conditioning in our schools without windows).  It gets earlier and earlier too, although I will say that the August 7 start date is a few days later than the August 4 start date we had my first year in our neighboring county to the east-northeast.  Usually, we get out in mid- to late- May and that makes coming in from bus duty soaked with sweat a little more worthwhile.

Every year I say I'm going to be a little tougher than I was the year before, and every year I end up being a pushover.  I don't want to be meaner than I ought to be, but I don't want to be a pushover, either.  I'm praying and honestly, at the moment, I feel like I'll be all right.  I know I can make it.  I know I can handle it.

I do know that one thing I need to do, in order to make it, is to go to bed and get some well-deserved rest.

SI... oh, who cares. When you close your eyes, do you dream about me?

Do you remember this song?  I do.  Does it have any significant meaning for today's post?  Well, it has a significant meaning for today.  I woke up early this morning, dreaming about someone from my past.  And in my dream I must have been watching something that would have happened 25 plus years ago and I said, "It's all right.  One day he is going to realize what he's missed out on and it's going to be too late."


And he did.  


And it was.  


And now I have these dreams from time to time and sometimes they worry me because back in the day I would dream about him two nights in a row and find out that something had happened, like his grandmother died, and there was something else, but I don't remember what.  Maybe when his aunt died, I don't know.  I didn't have a premonition about his mother, I can tell you that.  Well, I did in a way... a few months before she died I dreamed about him and wondered.  Nothing specific though.


I am still working on improvements (cleaning, specifically) and starting tomorrow (it's a holiday weekend) I'll go back to working on something for school every day, or every weekday at least.  I'm trying to do healthy things for myself too and I'm learning about herbs again.  I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I have toyed with the idea for a long time, but yesterday I was talking with my mom about... of all things, medical marijuana. Now, we didn't get into the whole, "This could be good for you," thing.  Nothing that deep, of course; it was more speculation on whether someone we know from a state where medicinal use is legal has a prescription.  She says no but this person is using it illegally.  I said maybe he or she is, maybe he or she is not, but if this person is using it, he/she very likely has an rx.  Mom didn't think this person had the financial resources to get a prescription.  It was at that point I stopped arguing with her because... well,  there comes a point in family arguments/discussions where tensions and voices are raised and motives are questioned (and you really do not want to know what motives have been questioned in the past).  We had not come to that point yet and I didn't think it was worth going there.  And somehow my thought process came around to what would I do if I couldn't teach anymore... I guess because the subject of our discussion is unemployed.  I thought, nuc med jobs are scarce everywhere, and if for some reason I couldn't teach, I'd want to move somewhere like Arizona and become a midwife or an herbalist or something like that.  I think another thought on my mind was what someone like Mom would do.  I don't know what she is going to do now.  I don't know how long she can keep her disability, her insurance, and all of that.  And how many people are out there who don't have insurance?  Who don't have treatments for diseases like cancer?  There's a lot to think about.


So is that what I need to do?  I don't think so.  I think teaching is the thing for me right now.  Someday it may not be, and when that happens, at least I know there are options out there.  

Paperback writer...

Not really... while I am constantly coming up with ideas for story writing, I don't know who would want to read that. I'm not sure if anybody reads this!!!

Lots going on right now. I'm working on my research paper. It's due tomorrow. I've done the research. I'm just putting it together and trying to find some sources to back up my opinions. My research is about technology in the classroom. Of course! So right now I'm taking a blogging break. I'm listening to 70's music which seems to foster my creativity for some reason. I think it puts me back into my childhood where my imagination is nice and functional. Maybe that makes me weird. Maybe I'm weird anyway.

Besides that, this weekend I have to get all my stuff planned for my students for Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday because I'll be at the HOSA State Conference those days. I have to clean out the car so I can put my competitors in it, as well as my stuff for three days. While I'm there I plan to finish updating the student database for the grading program, although I have discovered that this job isn't going to be finished as long as I'm working on it (and probably, working there as well). Every time a teacher joins the school's site (and there are still quite a few to go) I'll have to update students. It's inevitable. It's okay, though. I just work on it when I can.

I also need to catch up on grading this weekend, and go by the school Sunday and pick up journals to grade too. The amusement never ends.

I'm okay with it though. I have enough to do outside the house tomorrow to make it okay to stay home and write today. I'm working on something that I have a passion for - computers and technology education - and that makes it easier. I have decided that I'm going to get my doctorate in instructional technology. Not sure what school yet - I've got to decide, but I have a year or two to do that. This summer Derek's having surgery and I'm taking a break from my studies. If I do any extra work, it'll be transcription. In the fall I'll either take one or two courses, and if I take two I'll be able to take two in the spring to graduate. If it takes me longer, so be it.

God is good to me... He gave me awesome kids and an amazing husband and the rest of my family's pretty great too. I have more than I know what to do with... life is good. Rachel's doing a formal this weekend and one next weekend. D's going to the prom next weekend. He made a 29 on his ACT! This was his 1st try! Rachel did too, on her 2nd try. Both of them are very smart! I've got a great church family but a lot going on there too... can't go into that on the blog but suffice it to say I have things I don't want to take care of there. I'll be glad when I'm no longer the chair of the PPR committee.

Well, that's what's happening... for what it's worth.

What's new, pussycat? Wo-wo-wo-oh!!!

Rachel's been here for a post-mission trip visit. She just left. I hate to see her go so soon, but... that just goes with life, sugar.

D's spending the night with a buddy.

Randy's cleaning up the storage building.

I've been updating events on websites... seems like I get that task no matter where I go. I do that on the school website, the church website, the HOSA school website... how did I get that task???

I was feeling a little frustrated. It happens so easily. I get overwhelmed with all the junk in my life and all the unfinished business I have. I have a dirty house, a big research project looming in the headlights (and getting bigger as I get closer to it) for one of my graduate courses, a smaller, but still huge work project coming up in the next few days at school, church tomorrow (two services... one should be really cool), a part-time job that doesn't pay all that well but is something that comes natural and it's something I can do at home, a full-time job that wipes me out mentally and sometimes physically and requires more time than I am willing to give it while paying about half the salary I used to make before being laid off 3 years ago, a chronic illness that tries my patience and confuses me to no end; sometimes it's easy to deal with and at other times, it's literally a huge pain. And then there are the usual things... bathrooms, furniture, and floors to clean, dishes and laundry to wash, and meals that need preparation. Thank goodness Randy doesn't mind cooking. I have a wonderful husband and two fantastic kids. Fortunately, they don't require a lot of my time anymore, but I want to spend time with them. I have parents who don't ask a lot of me, but I want to spend time with them too. I have brothers, sisters-in-law, a mother-in-law, nieces, nephews... you get the picture. I have a church family and good friends. I have a great life and it's rich and full. Unfortunately, I just don't manage my time the way I should.

I want to write. I don't usually think of that when I'm making goals for my life because... I just don't. I don't see it ever being lucrative enough for me to do it full-time. I do get a lot of my writing "jones" out by blogging and all that web work. With my "side job" of transcription, and the writing I should be doing in my online class, and especially as a teacher, I get plenty of opportunities these days. I've spent most of my life thinking, someday I will write the fiction stories that I have stored in my head all these years. Now I'm 44 and wondering, how many years do I have? Maybe I will live another 44 years, but I am already diabetic and don't eat the way I should... so really, who can say? I read an article in the Tennessean today and it got me to thinking too. It was about a woman who has dementia - and she's 49. I'll be 45 in a few weeks. That's scary.

So I was looking at "Pick the Brain." It's one of my favorite websites. I check it two or three times a week, sometimes more. I like it on Facebook, so that helps remind me to check it often. It's an inspirational - motivational site, which is something I've found really helpful over the last year. Anyway, I was reading about how "I'm the problem" and it reminded me of how often I've looked at my life and wondered, why did I end up (insert fault here... I'll give you some ideas... fat, broke, living in a perpetually-dirty house that isn't worth what I owe...)? The "fat" part - strangely, being fat doesn't bother me as far as my appearance goes, because even though I'm heavier than I've ever been, I'm still sort of in the middle. I know many thinner people and many fatter people. I still look all right, most of the time. It's my health that worries me. I wonder if my feet would feel better if I wasn't carrying around all the extra weight. I know my knees would.

I have a wonderful marriage. But sometimes I wonder - does Randy secretly wish he'd married the girl who married an astronaut? Would he have been better off if he had? Would she? I don't know. We'll never know. It doesn't matter, really. It didn't happen.

The more important question is, what can I do to become what I want to be? Or who I want to be? Am I ready to make the changes I need to do what I want???

Love is in the air...

Probably the most overused blog title on this day. So what?

We celebrated Valentine's Day in the tradition we started the night before Derek was born. It was raining hard that night. I was scheduled to be induced at 7 the next morning. We dropped Rachel, then 2.5, off with Randy's sister Amy & her family. There weren't as many places to eat around here then. We went to Red Lobster, and it was packed. We looked somewhere else, but I can't remember where. Anyway, we finally went to Cracker Barrel and they got us in. We sat at a quiet little table for two with one of those oil lamps... it was very sweet and even a little romantic.

After that, it was kind of hard to get a babysitter for Valentine's Day in the middle of the week. It was just easier to take the kids along and make it a family meal. We haven't done it every year, and Rachel couldn't be with us this year. We talked about it, but Derek was going to a competition today, and we weren't sure when he'd be home. In the meantime, she made plans to go to church tonight. It just didn't time out for us to all go together.

Well, now Randy's going to bed and I'm watching a show about a group that's working against gang violence in Chicago. When I decided to become a teacher, I didn't get into it to be a community changer. I thought I would work at Sycamore, where I could work the hours my kids were in school and be available to go to their sports events and be off when D was practicing for football. And I was, even though I didn't work at Sycamore. But I was teaching in a different universe. I was teaching in South Nashville, where I really felt like I got to know my students and I felt like I was making a difference in the lives of the kids.

I liked it, but when the opportunity to work closer to home came, I took it. I loved my new classroom, but I missed the community. I still miss it, really, but I know there are kids who need help here too. There aren't as many businesses wanting to throw money at the public school system here, but I know a lot of the kids are living in those same types of communities... kids getting shot (there were three young adults shot last semester, most known by many kids from school), kids getting killed in car accidents, kids who are being abused, neglected, you name it. It's a crazy world, and yet, if we'd lived 300 yards east of here, our kids would've been zoned for it. And even though we live 15 miles from the "hood," we only have to look out the living room window to see a lot of the same issues. Our neighbors (and I'm not just talking about the ones in the subdivision) don't look different from us, but they have family in jail, and problems. The mission field is right around me.

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday...

I think I've used this song title before, but so what?

Yesterday we had to say goodbye to our Bonnie. She was 13 and in kidney failure, and even if we'd treated her and held on to her a little longer, we would've just had to watch that painful slope downward. It was hard to let her go, but we decided that it was better to go on and do it than to keep dragging it out... for her and for us. It hasn't been easy though. I cried. A LOT. I could cry now, if I let myself, but late night cries are not good for my sinuses and I've got to be on top of things tomorrow. I just have to remind myself that even if we'd brought her home, she would never be her old healthy self again. Three years ago I was pretty sure it would be our last Christmas with her, so I have felt like we were blessed to have her as long as we did.

I am still having terrible problems with my feet. If I have to stand or walk a lot, I may not hurt then, but I pay for it later. That's the worst. I don't like knowing that if I go shopping, I'll have to hurt later (if not sooner). And I'm not talking about a mall marathon, I'm talking about going to the grocery. In all honesty, I'm thinking it's time for me to get a desk job (and no, teaching is NOT a desk job... at least not at my school) but that scares me too. Will I weigh 500 pounds if I don't have to stand up a lot? I read about three medicines, over the counter supplements, that I started yesterday (only after I looked them up for interactions with my current meds). I hope they'll work...

I do entirely too much complaining, so let me tell a happy story. Today we celebrated my mom's birthday. She is 63 and this means she has lived longer than her mom and both her grandmothers did. I used to say I was going to party like nobody's business when I made it to number 63, but now, it'll be no big deal because Mom has been there first. AND THAT IS ALL RIGHT. Now, if you are one of my Facebook friends don't pass that around... I have many more FB friends than I do blog followers so I figure I'm safe to tell her age here, LOL!!!

You make me feel brand new...

My brand new computer, that is... it's really nice.

Another semester has begun and I'm already tired, and wondering if I'll survive, but it's actually been OK so far. I bring home work to grade every day and I don't get it done. I still look for the elusive money-making job, but I've decided (after spending a bunch of money) that I'm not going to try nursing school or even being a CNA. It's not for me. My neuropathy is acting up so much. Between controlling my blood sugar and using a TENS unit, I'm doing a lot better, though. The TENS unit really works!

I'm not staying up to grade tonight, either. I had good intentions, but between trying to get my new computer and my old one to communicate (not an easy feat, considering that the old one's screen isn't working anymore and had to be hooked up, flipped around, rebooted and re-battery'ed, for lack of a better word) and re-ordering a book for an online class, I have shot the evening. BUT...I got the files transferred.

School's out for...two weeks!

Today I've been a sleepyhead. I think I deserve to be. I've been in school and teaching school and sleep has been a luxury. I HAVE done some work around here & in a few I'll do a little more. I need to do some serious writing today, a little bit of record keeping, and a little research for my at-home job...in addition to a little more cleaning and laundry.

My wonderful rock star is on a grocery run. D is watching "Lost" & Rach is still asleep. I have really appreciated the rock star this week.

Sometimes it takes a drastic thing to make me appreciate what's unique about him. Last weekend the brother of a high school friend died. I remember him but didn't really know him. I went to the funeral home. He was president of his motorcycle club. For those who aren't into the biker culture, this means he was into that lifestyle. The funeral home parking lot was filled with bikes and leather, long grey beards and smoke. The pallbearers had names like Dirt and Birddog. To be quite honest, I was impressed with the organization and the care they took to do everything just right. Bikers seem to like Randy's bands. I have always appreciated that. Maybe there is a part of me that envies that lifestyle. At any rate, I've appreciated more about Randy and his quirks this week

I had decided that my new year's resolution would be to be more creative. I need to lose weight, work out, and be healthier...and maybe I will...but I have so many ideas and so many things I want to learn to do, and I do so little of them. So I'm going to do those things in 2012. I'm going to write more, paint and draw more, maybe write some songs, maybe be more creative in the kitchen. I'm looking forward to this coming year.

Gotta keep those a-lovin' good vibrations a-happenin' with you

"I, I love the colorful clothes she wears..."

I love to wear colorful clothes, but mostly, I wear black these days, because I don't have much time for, or interest in, shopping. I've been in one of my funky moods where I spend all my non-working hours online looking for a second (or third, or fourth, or whatever) job. I WAS spending a lot of time playing Spider Solitaire, so I consider this an improvement.

Don't worry about me though, I'm really not depressed. I laugh a lot and I am happy with all the relationships in my life. I'm looking forward to Christmas. I feel a lot of good vibrations!!! I just have too much going on. Like...

Teaching: I've got a lot more grading to do, and I've had a busy week. Next week we have exams and then...2.5 weeks off!!! This semester has flown by, and I can't believe it's almost over. I have 4 observations next semester :\ Not sure how I feel about that. If I can get through them, I'll be ready to get my license advanced. On the other hand, sometimes I think I'd go back to nuc med...if anyone had an opening...if anyone would even consider me if they did.

Other jobs: Nuc med's not hiring. CNA jobs are out there, but I haven't even gotten to a real interview. Don't know if it's the fact that I have another job, or because I have more education, or because nobody wants someone who's had five jobs in five years. (Actually, this time last year I'd had six jobs in 5 years, but I've been at this one for a year and a half.) I'm working as a test proctor this Saturday, and I got a part-time online position today that I need to finish training to do. Writing is possibly another income stream...see below...

Preaching: I have to speak Sunday! Am I ready? No. Am I close? Well, if having an idea counts, then yeah.

Studying: I'm in the last week of online classes this semester. Sigh. I only have one big assignment left and uploading a few small ones onto my portfolio. Haven't decided if I'm going to take classes next semester, or wait awhile...I don't know. A lot going on, you know???

Writing: This is actually a pretty exciting time in my writing life. I'm the Nashville Southern Culture Examiner for examiner.com. Read all about it! I also have other writing ideas. I'm thinking I'll update my websites during Christmas break. I get a lot of interest in the site, but I really don't update it much. If I'm not in class, though, I might have time for updating ads and content.

Home: Rachel comes home next week...Derek's in school until the 22nd (I think)...after Christmas it's Randy's busy season. The house is a mess, though maybe better than usual. Still don't have the tree up, still haven't figured out how much more shopping I need to do.

Singing: Nothing much to tell here. I sang at church and then the Messiah on Sunday. Though I loved it, I'm glad to have a break. I'll probably sing at the Christian Care Center at some point during the Christmas break. We'll see.

Well, I'm going to bed now. Maybe I'll get enough sleep to get up on time!!!

How could I be without your love

I really wasn't writing with the intention of waxing poetic about my husband. I couldn't think of a "how to" song that I wanted to post. I like this one, though. It's pretty.

I have spent my evening searching "How To" articles online for help with a class assignment. The hardest part so far has been figuring out what I want to learn. I’m not saying I know how to do everything, because I don’t (as you’ll learn by reading this), but sometimes I feel like I know how to do too many things. I have craft supplies I don’t have time to use, holiday decorations I don’t have time to put out, and websites I don’t have time to maintain. I don’t always have time to go to the grocery store, much less cook. The things I’d like to learn how to do are too complex to learn in a Web tutorial. There are the intangibles, like “How to get a job in a stagnant field from which you were laid off,” or“How to find time to keep your house looking immaculate clean decent while you work full-time, take two graduate courses, raise a teenager, have three indoor pets, support a college student, stay married, and go to church.” Then, there’s the way too involved for the Web stuff, like “How to become a massage therapist,” or “How to make some extra money (for supporting that college student).” I’d like to solve problems. How about, “How to cure cancer,” or “How to stop domestic violence”?

If you’ve read this far, you’re probably thinking I need to find “How to Get a Positive Attitude!”

Seriously…maybe there’s a story there.

I went to Google. I typed in “how to” and then started with a, went to b, c, d, etc. all the way through the alphabet. Did you know you can learn to roll a joint on the Internet? I don’t need to know how to do that. After going through the alphabet I thought I’d start over and type ab, ac, ad, and so forth. You can learn how to abort a baby on the Internet. I would say, “Well, I never!” but unfortunately, I am NOT surprised at that. I didn’t know how valuable some of my knowledge was…such as “How to elope” (been there, done that), “how to flirt” (how do you think I learned how to elope?), “how to give a hickey” (not going there) and “how to do an EKG” (well, I did know that was valuable). Still, I kept going.

I got to “ezine” and almost stopped there, but the thought of adding another responsibility to my list seemed too daunting.

How to hook up a laptop to your TV…hmm…

How to make a QR code…that could be good.

How to build apps for smartphones…NOW WE ARE TALKING.

How to organize your home…maybe this is what I need, really.

We shall overcome, some day.

Is today an anniversary of some event in the Civil Rights Movement? I'm asking because I just got through watching "Mississippi Burning," and now "Ghosts of Mississippi" is on. I'd never seen the first movie before today, but I'd heard of it. The latter's one of my favorites. (I just love Alec Baldwin with a Southern accent. It drips like honey from his mouth.) I know it's not MLK's birthday, or anniversary of his assassination. Emmett Till's birthday is next week, and Medgar Evers' was week before last. Actually, if you Google "July in Civil Rights History," you'll see that several events took place in July.

I'm home alone tonight. Randy's got a "gig," Rachel's working at school, & Derek's spending the night with a friend. If I think about it, I get kind of sad thinking that my babies are grown up, but I'm really too busy to be lonely. I've been to see friends today anyway so I don't feel lonely. I got my hair cut really short today. I wanted to go back to the natural color, and besides, it was hot. There's plenty to do: laundry, coursework for my Desktop Publishing class, dishes, balancing the checkbook, recording stuff on the DVR for my collection, lesson planning, studying the CNA book, and reading the Bible!!! I'm starting CNA classes on Monday.

All summer, I looked for a part-time job I could do in the summers and perhaps on weekends during the school year too. Well, nobody wanted a Certified Nuclear Medicine Technologist who could only work PRN in the summer. So, I applied for care partner positions, and other medical jobs that I'm probably over-qualified to do. Nobody thought a CNMT could do anything except punch buttons and I can imagine them asking, don't they handle radiation? Why doesn't she find a job in oncology or something? Uh, because first, I'm not qualified to do radiation oncology and second, there are 35 jobs - nationwide - if you type in "nuclear medicine technologist" on CareerBuilder, and 20 of them are for medical technologists or nuclear pharmacists or other jobs I am not qualified to do. The other 15 are all over the country, the closest being in Atlanta, 4 hours away. If I wanted to go full time, the closest position is in Florida, 8 or more hours away.

Most of the care partner jobs, as well as home health aide jobs, require a Nursing Assistant certification (CNA). You can't challenge the board on that. You have to go to 100 hours of schooling. Some long-term care facilities (nursing homes, assisted living facilities, etc.) will pay for you to do it, but most want applicants who already have their CNA. So, I decided to go on and do it. The first six weeks of school will be crazy...I'll finish one graduate-level class, start two more, finish the CNA class all while teaching! I'm sort of excited but also sort of scared! I believe I can do it, though.

Well, on that note, I guess I'd better get to work.

I'm walking on sunshine!

Ever since I decided to ease up on myself ten or twelve days ago, life has been amazing.

Physically, the water experiment seems to be going well. I did not get all my water in today. I will do better tomorrow. I feel better, my skin is better, and I worked out today. I don't have to be skinny, but I'd like to be strong and active. Regular exercise helps me control my sugars, even if I don't change my diet. I'm planning to do more this summer, but I didn't want to wait that long to get started.

Mentally, things are all right. School is getting to those final days when nobody - including me - wants to do anything! Fortunately, I have some interesting topics going on so they're having a good time and doing something too. I'm getting ready to go back to school this summer. I've decided to get a master's in instructional technology. I feel like it's a good way to incorporate my website and computer expertise with education, and to broaden my horizons as well. I think the classes sound very interesting. I am also working on a trial article for an online publication. More on that later, I hope! There are also interesting things going on in Randy's work. They have announced that they're going to a larger building in Clarksville. There will certainly be some changes but not all the details are available yet.

Spiritually, I could be doing better. I feel that God is with me, working on me, and helping me in all ways. He's been good to me, but I really haven't been as good to Him as I should be. I've been thanking Him...but I could do better. Well, I will do better on that too.

The kids are doing great and Randy's doing all right too. Rachel will be coming home this week!

Now I am getting sleepy and I know I need to get in the kitchen & wash dishes. Just wanted to jot down the good stuff going on right now.