Love is in the air...

Probably the most overused blog title on this day. So what?

We celebrated Valentine's Day in the tradition we started the night before Derek was born. It was raining hard that night. I was scheduled to be induced at 7 the next morning. We dropped Rachel, then 2.5, off with Randy's sister Amy & her family. There weren't as many places to eat around here then. We went to Red Lobster, and it was packed. We looked somewhere else, but I can't remember where. Anyway, we finally went to Cracker Barrel and they got us in. We sat at a quiet little table for two with one of those oil lamps... it was very sweet and even a little romantic.

After that, it was kind of hard to get a babysitter for Valentine's Day in the middle of the week. It was just easier to take the kids along and make it a family meal. We haven't done it every year, and Rachel couldn't be with us this year. We talked about it, but Derek was going to a competition today, and we weren't sure when he'd be home. In the meantime, she made plans to go to church tonight. It just didn't time out for us to all go together.

Well, now Randy's going to bed and I'm watching a show about a group that's working against gang violence in Chicago. When I decided to become a teacher, I didn't get into it to be a community changer. I thought I would work at Sycamore, where I could work the hours my kids were in school and be available to go to their sports events and be off when D was practicing for football. And I was, even though I didn't work at Sycamore. But I was teaching in a different universe. I was teaching in South Nashville, where I really felt like I got to know my students and I felt like I was making a difference in the lives of the kids.

I liked it, but when the opportunity to work closer to home came, I took it. I loved my new classroom, but I missed the community. I still miss it, really, but I know there are kids who need help here too. There aren't as many businesses wanting to throw money at the public school system here, but I know a lot of the kids are living in those same types of communities... kids getting shot (there were three young adults shot last semester, most known by many kids from school), kids getting killed in car accidents, kids who are being abused, neglected, you name it. It's a crazy world, and yet, if we'd lived 300 yards east of here, our kids would've been zoned for it. And even though we live 15 miles from the "hood," we only have to look out the living room window to see a lot of the same issues. Our neighbors (and I'm not just talking about the ones in the subdivision) don't look different from us, but they have family in jail, and problems. The mission field is right around me.

Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

There's not really a feeling I'm trying to fight tonight. I've just had this song on the brain lately. I saw footage of REO Speedwagon (or Meatwagon, as Randy calls them) doing this song recently. Recent footage, at that - not from the old days.

I wrote a post awhile back with another line from this song...click here to read that. Well, this week I talked to that guy. One of my co-workers needed something, & he was the only person I could think of who might've been able to help her. Then the song came on while I was stressing a patient, & I knew I needed to make that call. He couldn't help her. Oh, well.

(So, if you are reading this, & you talked to me for the first time in 20 years or so the other night, & your parents live near the lake - & I think maybe you do too - you need to call me back. Seriously. If you have found this post, we need to talk. And no, I am not asking you to commit adultery!)

Today was a weird day, really. I was in a funky mood, & I mean funky in a "what is that growing in that clothes basket?" way. I didn't go to Randy's sister's house for the fireworks party. I just didn't feel like going. I have the excuse of watching the race, even though I really don't care who wins at this point. My favorite drivers, if you could call any of them that, are all out of the race. Oh, I guess I could pull for Dale Jr. I like him as well as any of the drivers who are still in the race.

I used to be really into all this, but now I barely even watch the races. In reference to my last post, I don't think racing is very environmentally friendly. I do understand why people like racing though. I have been at Daytona, where they are now, for this race, the one they used to call the Firecracker 400. To those who are there I say, SUCKERS! I'm glad it is you & not me! I would much rather be watching that race here in my comfortable air-conditioned living room!!!

That ranks up there among some of the most uncomfortable nights of my life. Greg Biffle won that race. Standing in a crowd of sweaty, smelly drunks waiting 20 deep for the buses to take us back to where we parked, MILES AWAY from the track, some drunk in the crowd shouted, "Who's Greg Biffle?" The kids thought that was funny. It took us all night to get back to our room in Kissimmee. No lie. We had a very hard time staying awake, & we were sober. It is truly a wonder that I am still here to write about that.

Living in America

Happy Independence Day! Hope everyone is having a great, fun day celebrating our nation & all it stands for. Though this country is going through a hard time, I hold onto hope that the best of times is yet to come. As bad as things are, I still think this is a great place to live.

I have had a lot on my mind to write about lately. There's no way I could put it all into one post. So since I can't put everything into writing, I'll write about a topic that's on my mind right now.

I'm not really ready to declare my independence from foreign oil, but I'm working toward doing a better job of it. Oh, I don't dare kid myself that I can do it. I drive 35 miles to work & visit my family 25 miles away once a week or more if I can. And that's just the beginning of what I do to fuel the big demand for oil. But I am trying to do a better job of taking care of my world.

I bought a Honda Civic a few weeks ago. I LOVE it! I am getting about 36 mpg. This is a little less than I'd hoped for (I want perfection!) but it's better than the 27 mpg I got in the Grand Prix. I figure that as much driving as I've been doing, I ought to save about $1000 a year. Of course, I'm paying $4000 a year for the thing. I really needed a third vehicle, though, because Rachel's old enough to drive now, & a third driver in the family will be helpful. Oh, I dread it, but with our busy schedules a third car makes sense.

I have been reading a new book. Well, it's new to me - Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. It is a little more drastic of a move than I could make. I've tried changing my eating habits to help the "little guys" out in the past, & my fledgling efforts did not get far. I tried buying raw milk & naturally-raised chicken & bacon. It didn't work for me because of Randy. He was afraid to drink the milk. "You'll die because it's not pasteurized. You can't give this to the kids." He didn't have to worry - his fearful attitude was contagious, & the kids refused to drink it anyway. I didn't get sick at all. He thought the chicken tasted "wild" & preferred "the kind you get at Wal-Mart." He loved the bacon, but he totally freaked out when I told him how much it cost. "Well, no wonder we can't afford to pay off our credit cards." I tried arguing that I didn't spend $80 every six weeks to get my hair cut & colored like some of my co-workers. (And this was in the old days at my old job. I have lots more arguments now...but more on that another time.) It didn't impress him much. So, gradually, I cut my ties with that farmer's family. I just quit buying from them, & I still get their emails, but I just don't respond. It was nothing personal, I liked them very much although sometimes I felt guilty after reading their newsletters.

Every year we buy a portion of a calf from a family in our church. Their family is not dependent totally on people like us for their survival. They have a big operation & sell a lot of cattle each year. You can read about them here. Now for the purists here, I know they use artificial insemination & they give soy byproducts in addition to grass. Well, I didn't choose their beef because it was organic. I chose it because a few years ago I wanted to buy beef from someone I knew. When I was a kid my grandfather raised cattle & it just made sense to me to eat meat that's grown up nearby. It doesn't get much more local than less than a mile from the house. Randy goes for that one for several reasons. He loves the taste, for starters! He also likes the fact that overall it's cheaper than buying beef from the grocery store. You might get ground beef cheaper, but the steak & roast prices never fail to make up the difference.

I do buy eggs from a farmer about six miles up the road. Unlike most egg farmers, he charges prices comparable to the grocery store (instead of twice as high). I buy honey from them too. He is a sweet little old man with a fairly small farm, but because the price is not bad & the taste is so good, Randy doesn't give me any grief about that.

I also buy vegetables from local folks. We have a few markets fairly close to us, & there are also some organic farms along the way. Randy doesn't like their prices, in general, but as long as I use what I buy Randy doesn't tend to freak out too much about that.

I don't grow a lot because I just don't live a lifestyle that works well for that, but maybe I can do more of that in the future.

I have a long, long way to go toward lessening my carbon footprint, but I'm learning as I go. I think the Barbara Kingsolver book has helped me in one way for sure - I am doing a little better about eating at home instead of on the road.

You can't always get what you want.

Wow. Two posts in one day. I haven't played the game yet. I've been tempted but I stayed away. I'll go to bed shortly. It's just now getting dark here, but O-dark-thirty comes mighty fast. Randy & Rachel are watching "No Country For Old Men." I've sort of watched it too...been checking email, planning my tomorrow, washing dishes, & that kind of stuff while the movie's been running.

I can't say I've been a lot more cheerful since I got home, but I've cleaned out the bag of medical bills (& got the checks ready to mail in the morning!), cleaned out the fridge & washed the dishes. I've washed some clothes too. So I feel like I've accomplished something.

I have been on a hippie wannabe kick lately. I have to wonder about something. Maybe there are some old hippies out there who can answer this for me. It seems to me that becoming a hippie in 2008 is more expensive than living in the mainstream. Now, you can look at this in the long term & think, well, non-sustainable living isn't really cheaper...but that isn't my point. My point is, in the short-term, it seems to be more expensive to eat locally grown food & buy earth-friendly clothing. You can save money on makeup & hair care (of course, if you have a real job you might have to invest in a few grooming products - & again, if you use the "green" stuff it's going to cost you more than the Dollar General store stuff). So, my question is this. Was it more expensive to be a hippie instead of a conformist in the 60's? I don't see evidence that it was...but I was born in 1967 so I don't know this for certain.

I know we didn't have much, & we didn't live like hippies. We lived in a trailer. My parents were young, but they weren't hippies. My mom wasn't anti-hippie. She shared a lot of their values like being for peace & accepting people for what they are. She liked some of the music but she will tell you she didn't "get" the messages, except maybe the ones about stopping the war. Most young mothers in our hometown were like Mom was back then. She liked fashion too much to be a hippie. I can't imagine my mom letting her hair grow wild. Not back then anyway. She probably also cared about the fact that being a hippie wasn't so widely accepted in our hometown back then. At that time she wasn't really ready to take that step.

My dad could've been anti-hippie. He was a clean-cut Merle Haggard fan. You know, "We don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee." A few years down the road, Dad let his hair grow out a little & had Elvis-style sideburns, & would've lived in a cabin in the wilderness if he hadn't already owed money on a house in a subdivision. But a hippie he was not, even though his dad owned a VW bus.

I thought hippies were cool back then, but I didn't know about all the protests & drugs. I just knew about the psychedelic vans & clothes & the cool music, the people with long hair who said "groovy" & hung beads in the doorway. Lava lamps were cool, but like VW buses, I didn't associate them with hippies because my non-hippie aunt had one. She also had a gold Nova & watched PBS a lot.

Now I want to be a hippie but I can't seem to get what I want! But for now, I need to go to bed. Later!

It's not easy being green.

I feel like writing a novel tonight, so strap in & hold on!

Derek & I just returned from a trip to Wally World, where he made a purchase with HIS money & I bought Natural Skippy Peanut Butter with mine. Before that we went to Rachel's surprise birthday party, held at the home of her friend Kyndall. She was truly surprised. She couldn't believe I had known for weeks, & that even Derek knew!

As we left the party, I checked my phone messages. Every week after Nextel Cup qualifying, I get four text messages, telling me the top 5 positions & where my favorite drivers will start the race. Then after the race (in case I don't see it) I get messages about where they finished. I was sad tonight. I got three messages, because Sterling's not in this one. He's done well over the years. He can afford to retire, if he wants to, after this.

This may be as good a time as any for me to retire - from the life of a NASCAR fan. I have often joked that NASCAR kept me from being "too flake-y." I'm sort of a liberal. I would love to live a more environmentally kind lifestyle. I am not an "earth-first, people-second" person by any means. As a Christian, I believe in worshipping the Creator, not the creation. However, I don't believe God intended for every square inch of the Earth He created to be covered in strip malls & McMansions. I think we Americans, and probably a whole lot of other nations as well, are far too greedy for our own good. Having dominion over the earth is a huge responsibility. The earth was given to us for our use, not our abuse.

Auto racing is most likely the worst possible sport for the environment, but I grew up watching races & have always loved them. I knew the time would come when Sterling would retire. I just didn't think things would get to this point. It's all about money in NASCAR. Maybe it always was, but not to the extent it is now. I simply don't care as much about it as I used to. There, I said it. Is it because of the environment? No, not really. But would it be so bad if I DID become a tree-hugger?

I am one of those extremely oil-dependent Americans. I have mentioned before that where we live is between our jobs & our kids' schools, between his family & mine, & 6 miles from the nearest grocery store - nowhere near public transportation. It's just a given that we're gonna be driving a lot. Changing jobs wouldn't help - we don't have career options closer to home. Moving closer to our jobs means uprooting the kids from their schools - not good when you have a 10th grader. Moving closer to school means moving further from work.

And that brings me to work. On tomorrow's blog, answers to some riddles I have been putting on the blog.